Guys, you won't believe this, but we had a frog in the house the other day. We don't know how or when it got in, it was my uncle who discovered it. "You've got a frog under the table!" he roared with his officer-ish bass voice (he's a colonel). And before we could say "what?" the frog had hidden under mom's bed and we had quite some hard time getting it out. It was covered in dust when we managed to catch it, it looked as if it had taken a bath in a sack of flour. This has nothing to do with the story whatsoever, but I thought you deserved to know. ;-)

I did not think that I'd update this quickly, but the Norway trip got cancelled. My cousin's getting married in a few weeks, and there is no time for Norway if we are to go to the wedding.

Disclaimer: If they were mine, they'd live in Stockholm, Leo wouldn't be such a perfect teacher's pet, Donnie would be my boyfriend, and Shredder would act like he does in this fic. Do you understand why I don't own them?

Chapter 14: Stuff that happens on a boat, part 3

Leo rushed up to the railing, and looked down. Indeed, Mikey was right – where there had been a dock last time they looked, there now was water. He turned his head towards the stern. Far, far away in the horizon, he could dimly see the contours of the Liberty Statue and a couple of skyscrapers.

"On no! The ship's taken off!"

"No shit, Sherlock." Mike folded his arms.

"This is not the right moment to be sarcastic, Mikey. We gotta get the others immediately, and then we'll take a lifeboat and go back."

"Are you kidding? We'll never get home in a tiny little lifeboat! There must be hundreds of miles between us and New York now!"

Leo raised an eye ridge.

Mikey rolled his eyes. "Okay, maybe not hundreds of miles, but still too far for us to row. We'll never make it."

Leo frowned. "But we –"

"Look! There they come!"

Donatello came running towards them, with Shredder, Hun, and Foot Elite in tow, and Master Splinter and Raphael following them. It would have looked funny if it didn't look so pathetic.

Mikey and Leo hid just like before, and when Don rushed past, Leo grabbed his wrist and dragged him in behind the chimney. Of course, Shredder and his goons didn't notice but kept running. Since they no longer could see Don, Shredder jumped to the brilliant conclusion that he must have turned.

"C'mon, my loyal companions! Let's turn around this corner! We must get Prince Albert back!" He turned around a corner – and ran straight into one of the passengers. They ended up on the floor, and were soon joined by Foot Elite, who tripped over them. Surprisingly enough, Hun managed to stop before he fell, which was pretty lucky, otherwise he would have squashed his boss, the Elite ninjas and the innocent lady to jelly.

The lady gaped at them. "Vad i…?" (1) she started in Swedish.

Shredder jumped off of her and kept running. She stared after him, until she was helped up by Elite ninja number 4.

"I am so sorry for that, he's not really mentally stable," the Elite smiled and twirled his finger around beside his head in the typical 'crazy'-gesture.

"Right," she switched over to English.

Hun and Elite ninjas number 1, 2 and 3 took off after Shredder, but number 4 stayed for a bit more. "I hope you didn't hurt yourself."

The lady looked into his red eyes. "I'm all right."

"I am so happy to hear that. Maybe we could meet later and talk about this traumatically experience?"

"Oh, that would be wonderful, mister… um… what's your name?"

"You could call me number 4, everyone does. And may I ask who you are, my lady?"

"My name's Miss Lind, but please call me Julia."

"It will be a pleasure to do so, Julia."

"Shall we meet in the café at eight tonight, then?"

"I would be honoured."

And so, number 4 kissed Julia's hand and left. He felt as if he was walking on clouds.

Meanwhile, the turtles and their dad had taken cover behind a container on the deck. Donnie was surprised to see them again. "Åh, är ni här? Jag visste inte att ni hade saknat mig så mycket." (2)

His family looked at each other. "Um… yeah."

"What're we gonna do now, Sensei?" Mikey asked.

"Well, luckily enough, I brought the Swedish dictionary and a notebook complete with a pen and all," Splinter said and brought up said items out of nowhere.

"That's great, Sensei," Leo said and bowed. "I praise your superior mind."

"Oh, it was nothing," Splinter said and tried to conceal his self-righteous smile. "Any volunteers for writing a message to Donatello?"

"I can, Master Splinter," Mike offered. Splinter handed him the dictionary and the notebook complete with a pen and all.

"So, what shall I write?"

"How about –" started Leo, but his suggestion turned into a squeal. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!"

"'Eeeeeeeeekk'?" Mikey scratched his head. "Why should I write 'eeeeeeeeekk'?"

"A SPIDER!" Leo pointed frantically to the ground. Sure enough, there was a small spider crawling by, maybe half an inch long. And before you could say "this is the stupidest story I have ever read and I'm gonna sue", Raph, Leo, Mikey and Splinter had climbed the container with frightened eyes. Donnie looked up at them quizzically.

"A spider a spider a spider! We're all gonna meet our doom!" Mikey whimpered.

"I am too young to die! I haven't done all I want with my life yet! For example, I have not been stealing women's underwear from a laundry line!" Raph whined.

"Where's April when you need her?" Leo desperately asked no one in particular. "She would have showed that spider who's the boss!"

Donatello followed their terrified looks. He shone up. "Titta, en spindel! Vad söt den är!" (3) To the horror of his family, he went down on his knees to study the small animal a bit closer.

"Donatello! Get away from that spider!" Splinter hissed, in some kind of vain hope that his second oldest son would understand. Don looked at him and frowned. He read his family's mimicry pretty well, and slowly asked: "Ni är inte rädda för spindeln, eller hur?" (4) When the others didn't respond, only stared at the spider, frozen in terror, a wide smile spread over Don's face. "Jo, det tror jag faktiskt att ni är. Ni är rädda för spindeln. Hur i hela världen skulle den kunna skada er? Vira in er i spindelväv?" (5)

"Is he making fun of us?" Mikey asked.

"It actually looks that way, my son," Splinter said.

Leo took a deep breath. "Okay guys, we're ninjas. We won't let ourselves be treated like this. Pull yourselves together now, and let us face the danger bravely!"

His brothers and father looked at each other, nodded, and jumped down from the container. Don smiled against them. "Ser ni? Det var väl inte så svårt, eller hur?" (6)

Splinter, Leo, Raph and Mike looked first at Don, then at each other, and then at the spider. They actually felt quite relieved. So far, the spider hadn't done anything to hurt them. Maybe it wasn't so dangerous after all.

The spider moved.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Where have you been?" Foot Elite number 1 hissed, when number 4 caught up with them. "You're lucky Shredder hasn't noticed your absence yet."

"Sorry," number 4 said, "but I have a date tonight."

"You have a what?" His three companions stared at him.

"Her name's Julia," number 4 smiled. "She's the most beautiful person I have ever seen. We're gonna meet in the café at eight."

Elite number 1, 2 and 3 looked at him, flabbergasted. "How in the world did you manage to get a date?" number 3 asked.

"Hey, I'm not that ugly!"

In that moment, they passed the restaurant again. Mrs Mallowan and her husband were on their way out. Shredder grabbed mrs Mallowan's arm.

"Have you seen my guinea pig, ma'am? His name's Prince Albert. He's small and furry. Have you seen him?"

"What?" mrs Mallowan asked.

"He was wondering whether you have seen his pet, dear," her husband said.

Mrs Mallowan smiled against the Shredder. "In the pencil box, sir. On the desk, berth number 264."

"In the pencil box?" Shredder gasped. Before mr Mallowan could explain to his wife that the tin-man had asked for a pet and not a pen, Shredder was off again, followed by Hun and the Elite ninjas.

"Please… master…" Elite number 3 panted. "Could… we… take… a… break… soon…? We… have… been… running… for… hours… now…"

"There will be no breaks until Prince Albert has been found!" Shredder hissed. He wasn't really out of breath, since he was an alien and his exo-suit did all the work. "Shut up and keep running!"

After running a bit more, they reached the corridor with all the berths with 200-numbers lay. They found a door that was marked '264' with big brass digits.

"Hun, kick the door open!" Saki ordered.

Hun frowned. "But, master, shouldn't we knock first…?"

"KICK IT OPEN!"

Hun kicked the door down, and they all rushed in – only to stand face to face with a man clad in tweed, with an impressing red moustache and a monocle. He didn't look very happy.

"Would you, gentlemen, be so kind and please explain this unexpected attack on my door?" he asked, with a stereotypical British accent.

"I'm here to get Prince Albert!" Shredder snarled. "Let me in!"

"I am afraid that there are no, as you say, 'Prince Albert' here, sir. I was not even aware of the fact that he existed. I have heard of Prince Charles, Prince William and Prince Harry, they are members of our honourable, glorious and respected Royal family." He put one hand on his heart.

Shredder didn't look too impressed. "I don't give a darn about your relatives. And what do you mean, 'he's not here'? This is berth number 264, right?"

"As a matter of fact it isn't, sir. It is berth number 294. The 9 has fallen over, so it looks like a 6. And I do ask you to express yourself well-mannered in the Queen's English. Anyway, you have arrived just in time to interrupt me at tea-time. I do not enjoy getting interrupted at tea-time." He tilted his head, as if he had come to think of something. "Who is Prince Albert?"

"Prince Albert's my guinea pig. He's been kidnapped by a giant turtle, but I'll get him back!" Shredder sniffed. "I really, really miss him. He's the cutest guinea pig ever seen… and his fur is black and white… and… and…" Saki's under lip started to shiver.

The British gentleman frowned. "Oh dear, oh dear." He patted Shredder's tin-covered arm. "Would it feel better if you had a nice cup of tea?"

"Yes please," Shredder sobbed. He let the man with the red moustache lead him into the roomy berth, where he plopped down in an armchair. The man poured out some tea in a cup.

"Lemon?"

"Sure, why not."

"May I ask about your name, sir?"

"Oroku Saki, also known as the Shredder. I'm an evil alien and have plans concerning World Domination," Shredder sighed.

"World Domination, you say? Jolly good." The man sipped on his own tea. "My name is Lord Somerset, I live at Somerset Hall outside of Liverpool. I have decided to go on this cruise, since I have never seen neither New York nor Sweden. Interesting place, New York, although it cannot match Britain, of course." He started humming on God Save the Queen and looked out the little window for a while, before he turned his attention back to Saki. "I am so sorry for the loss of your guinea pig, old chap. I had an Arabian full blood horse once, Sir Fitzroy De Lancey XVII, and he just vanished. One day he was there, the other he was not. Extraordinary, indeed."

"Yeah," Shredder agreed, "seems weird."

"You said a giant turtle has captured Prince Albert?" Lord Somerset raised an eyebrow.

Shredder nodded, and during the next twenty-eight minutes, Lord Somerset got to know everything hat had happened to the villain the last few days.

"Oh dear, oh dear," he said again, when Saki was finished. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Several hours later…

"… So now, I've been an evil Elite ninja and worked for a madman for several years," number 4 finished his story to Julia. "And he's looking for his guinea pig and the mutated ninja turtle here at the boat."

Julia beamed at him. "That sounds wonderful."

"So, where do you come from, my beauty?"

"I was born in Gothenburg, but my family moved to Stockholm when I was seven," Julia said. "I have been in New York for three weeks, and now I'm on my way home."

"I see."

Number 4 took a pelargonium from the flower pot, brushed off a plant louseand handedthe flowerto Julia. "Here… although it is not as beautiful as you, of course."

Julia giggled. "I'm sure you say that to all girls."

"Oh no, not at all, you are special, Julia."

"Really?"

"Yes."

For a while, they didn't say anything, only sat there, staring deeply into each others' eyes. The enchanting moment was broken when Julia reluctantly rose. "I must go now."

"Oh." Number 4 looked disappointed. "May I escort you to your room?"

"Yes, of course."

They left the café, and went to berth number 332. They stopped outside of the door.

"So… do we see each other tomorrow?" Julia asked.

"I would be delighted."

He kissed Julia's hand again, and she disappeared through the door. For a moment, number 4 stared at the closed door, as if Julia suddenly would open it, throw his arms around him and confess her undying love for him. When he realized that so wasn't the case, he turned around and lent against the wall. His face took that silly grin that no one ever wears for real, but that really weird writers use as a last resource when they absolutely suck at writing romantic scenes.

"I think I'm in love…"

I would have liked to make that last scene a bit longer, but what can I say? I cannot write romance to save my life… (apologizing shrug)

1. What the…?

2. Oh, are you here? I didn't know you had missed me that much.

3. Look, a spider! How cute it is!

4. You are not afraid of the spider, are you?

5. Yes, I actually think you are. You are afraid of the spider. How in the world would it be able to hurt you? Wrap you up in cobweb?

6. You see? That wasn't so hard, now was it?

Until next time!

Idun