Brittany acted like nothing happened. Both finished their showers and got dressed. They walked to Santana´s car and the Latina dropped Brittany off and went straight home. Her parents must be at work and her thought was confirmed when she saw a note from her mother on the kitchen counter saying she won´t be home tonight.
The Latina didn´t mind at all, since she dropped Brittany off her mind was preoccupied with what had happened. She couldn´t explain herself why she was so submissive in the shower. That was not something Santana would do. She explained it to herself being in the heat of the moment, still she was pissed at Brittany for not helping her out.
She felt used. That was the correct term to describe her current situation. Santana knew that it was not the right way to snap at Brittany like that, but she promised she understood that the Latina needed time. Santana wanted to come to terms with all of this but the pace Brittany was setting was too fast for her.
After contemplating about how to tell the blonde she decided it would be best if they talked face to face, but Santana wasn´t sure if she could do it. Hence, she walked upstairs into her room and sat down on her desk, pulled out a piece of paper and began to write. It would be her second option if she wasn´t able to get any words out. This was very important to Santana. She read the letter over and over again and hoped she found the right words.
Now there only was the problem of how to talk to Brittany. Santana knew there was no way she would do it at school, but Brittany was still grounded. She pulled out her cell.
TO BRITTANY: Hi, do you think we could talk? Like face to face.
It didn´t take more than a minute until Brittany replied.
FROM BRITTANY: U want me to facetime you?
TO BRITTANY: No, u think I can come over? It´s kinda important.
FROM BRITTANY: Well my mom is home, there is no way she gonna let you see me. But u could be my Julia?
TO BRITTANY: what? Britt, I´m serious.
FROM BRITTANY: Climb my window San. I´ll reward you with a kiss :)
Santana knew it was her only chance, but how was she supposed to climb the blonde´s window? She might be a Cheerio but no fucking acrobat. She decided to deal with the problem as soon as she was confronted with it.
TO BRITTANY: Ok, see you in a bit.
She changed out of her jeans into black leggings and a matching top and picked up the letter and put it in her pocket of her hoodie ´just in case´ she thought and walked out to her car. She felt like a spy. Santana parked her car a couple of houses down and walked with her head down towards the Pierce house. When she stood right in front of it she looked around and walked to the side where she knew Brittany´s room was. The huge tree worked perfectly to climb up, so she hugged the stem but looked again and tried to reach a branch which was a few feet above her.
It took almost fifteen minutes and a lot of ´fucks´ and ´shits´ until she reached the bedroom window. She could see Brittany sitting on the bed facing the window, her face lit up when she saw Santana. The blonde got up and opened the window "come in" she held out a hand and Santana grabbed it and let out a relieved sigh when her feet touched Brittany´s bedroom floor.
"Hey Britt" she said and the blonde smiled at her. Their lips met within seconds, Brittany wanted to savor this moment "this is awesome, you climbed the tree for me" she whispered and Santana nodded "but San, why didn´t you take the ladder from the treehouse?"
The Latina´s exes widened comically "Britt, you could have shot me a text about that. I was up there once, I didn´t remember. I hope you know that you are special to me, I´ve never climbed a fucking tree" she leaned against the wall. Brittany gently grabbed her hand and caressed the back of it with her thumb. That and the pout she gave Santana made it clear to the Latina that she said ´sorry´.
"San, we have to be quiet though, my mom is downstairs and if she catches us I´m gonna be in so much trouble" she said in almost a whisper. "Ok" Santana answered, her hands were clutching the letter which was hidden in her hoodie. As closer as the conversation was getting the more Santana was afraid. She should have not just written the letter but also thought about what exactly she wanted to tell the blonde. But there she was... speechless.
"San, are you alright? You looked scared" Brittany stood in front of her now. How could she switch her behavior from dominant to fucking cute and innocent so easily? She was pulled out of her thoughts when Brittany´s hand touched her arms, she tried to take a step back but only hit a picture frame that was sitting right next to where she was standing. She knocked it over and it fell to the ground. She quickly bent down to pick it up but Brittany had the same thought, their heads bumped together and both let out an ´ouch´. It didn´t take very long until it knocked on Brittany´s door and it was Mrs. Pierce "Britt? Everything ok?" the blonde pulled Santana away from the window and pushed her into the adjoining bathroom "I´m fine mom, just stumbled over a book and knocked down some stuff, sorry" she tried to keep her voice as calm as possible. Mrs. Pierce didn´t think anything must have happened and walked back into the living room.
Santana stepped back into the room and inhaled deeply. Brittany noticed the way Santana tried to act calm but something was on her mind "ok, come on San. Tell me what is going with you. You behavior really scares me now" she sat down on the bed and padded the spot next to her "come here and sit, do you want to make out a little to calm your nerves" she asked with a smirk on her lips. She really wanted to kiss the Latina, her plump lips looked so delicious. And then she remembered how they felt around her cock today in the shower...
But that was not the point right now "San" she said again it was almost a whisper. The Latina stepped closer to her and pulled out the letter "Britt, I think you should read this. I don´t know how to talk to you about that... just what happened today..." she was trying to find the right words "please just read it" she handed it to Brittany and the taller girl was in shock and just took it "I´ll leave now Britt. I don´t want you to get in trouble" she didn´t say goodbye or looked at her again. Santana just climbed out of the window and made her way back home.
It took a couple of minute for Brittany to come back out of her daze. She knew that when Santana wrote her about a need to talk that she made a mistake. This afternoon wasn´t something Brittany planned. She was just so mad at Santana for treating her like shit that day.
Brittany was hurt how Santana could act like nothing happened. Friday night was magical for Brittany. She trusted Santana with her secret from the first day they met, she lost her virginity to the Latina and she knew that there were feelings that were beyond friendship. Why couldn´t Santana understand that?
The feelings she had mad her stomach turn and not in a bad way. Her whole body tingled when she saw or thought about Santana. But now, now she was scared about this letter. She must have been holding it for an hour by now. It was heavy in her hand. She tried to think about what Santana could have written. What was so important for her to write it down? It seemed to be something Santana wasn´t able to talk about. The way the Latina looked at her, like she was scared of her for some reason, or was is just the fear or her mom entering? Brittany didn´t know.
She positioned herself on the bed and leaned against her headboard. She played with the letter in her hand and after she took a deep breath she unfolded it.
Britt,
You are reading this letter because I wasn´t able to talk to you for whatever reason. But you have to know why it was so important for me to tell you right away. But let me start out by saying: I am sorry. I am sorry for yelling at you today. It was not right of me. I should have been more considerate of you. I felt like you wanted to push me out of the closet even though you said you would give me time. I am sorry for not explaining it better to you.
I first thought about talking to you of some ground rules I´d like to establish around school between the two of us, however this was only after I left you at the bleachers. I know I was wrong letting you sit there and sulk. I felt bad, that´s why I am truly sorry.
When I tried to make it up to you in the locker room you treated me like a cheap slut. And I don´t understand why. Britt, I like you and I wanted to make it up to you. All you did was treat me like shit.
I know that I didn´t complain while we were at it, but still, you made me submit to you in a way I never thought you would. Let me tell you that it is not the fact that I was submissive. Britt, what hurt me was the way you acted towards me. You made me feel worthless, cheap and used. I thought I was special to you, but you treated me like a cheap girl. How much did I hurt you that would degrade me like that and use me for your pleasure only? What have I done to you to treat me like that?
Britt, I beg you to give me time to come to terms with all of this at my pace, at some point you will think we are standing still but I promise you I want to be with you. And I know that one day I won´t be afraid of what other people say. Because, no matter what they say, I only want you. I want to stand by your side and stand up for you. I want to be strong for you if you can´t. I want to put a smile on your face when you think that all you can do is cry.
We have two options. We can either set some ground rules and respect each other, treat each other as equals or we can walk away from this and pretend it never happened.
Let me tell you that you are free to choose whichever option you like, but I want to tell you that I am serious about this. I meant it when I said that I liked you. I was not lying to you Britt. But if you choose to walk away then I will respect that.
-Santana
Brittany read the letter twice and then a third time. Tears filled her eyes and she felt horrible. If she had known how Santana felt she would never acted like that. She felt stupid. Brittany jumped off her bed and wanted to run to the Latina and wrap her arms around the small body and inhale her scent. She missed the heat her body radiated and her soft skin, the lips and the eyes which were so soft and strong at the same time.
She grabbed her door and wanted to walk out when she remembered that she was grounded. Brittany knew that there was no way of convincing her mom to let her go. "Shit" she hissed and turned around looking for her phone. As soon as she found it she called Santana, however, the Latina declined her call and it went straight to voicemail. Brittany tried it two more times but it was the same reaction. She settled on sending her a message, Santana needed to know her decision right away.
TO SANTANA: I don´t want to walk away. I want to talk. ASAP.
FROM SANTANA: ok
TO SANTANA: I´m sorry too.
So next chapter will contain the two of them talking and let´s see what is going to happen. Please review!