May 5

Dear Diary,

I love my friends. I realise that sometimes it doesn't sound like it, but I do. They make me laugh so hard – like the day when Aysel and I went round to 'tutor' Lucy (we didn't even end up opening our books), I cried of laughter at least three times. They're all great, we have the same sense of humor and I love them all.

Apart from Oli.

Oleskei Kent is my least favorite person in the world.

I thought, despite his bad days, he was alright. Bit of a laugh, you know?

No. He is the devil reincarnated. He has a sadistic sense of humour.

I always get ahead of myself. I'll stop that and start from the beginning.

"You're sitting with me," Jared informed me as he dragged me off with him as soon as the bell for lunch went, leaving Paul behind to speak to our Math teacher.

"I don't even get a say in the matter?" He shook his head and I sighed. "But what if I don't want to sit with you?"

He turned and eyed me doubtfully. "You can go somewhere else if you really want to…"

I crinkled my nose automatically at my bluff being caught. Okay, so I'm still obsessed with spending time with him. Even though I spent the whole night, and most of this morning, on the phone to Jared I still missed him. It's not my fault.

"Mmm, thought so."

It's impossible to try and deny it or mask it.

Jared smiled softly, that look in his eyes as he gazed deep into mine. I'll never get used to it. I got lost in the brown depths before I realised and looked away in embarrassment. I was gaping like a fish, something that I seem to do quite a lot.

He squeezed my hand and tugged me over to the seats they usually sit on.

"Heads up. Paul alert," Embry murmured into Jared's ear when he joined us, Jacob following silently. He's still sad about the vampire-lover girl. Poor Jakey.

Although the worst thing is Jacob and Embry's old friend Quil. Because he hasn't phased and they can't tell him, they have to pretty much blank him. It breaks my heart. He looks so lonely and upset. I've nearly ran up and hugged him countless times but Jared always holds me back, which I suppose is a good thing really. It would be a bit weird considering I haven't ever spoken to him before, but I just don't see why they can't tell him! Yeah, I understand that you can't tell everyone just because you want to, but his grandfather is one of the chief elder people so he has every right to know! If I have a right to know then surely he does too? They think he'd just get upset and feel left out because he hasn't phased yet, and may not ever phase. I really hope he does. I'd hate it if my friends suddenly just ditched me. I know he's probably better off this way but I still can't help but feel sorry for him.

Anyway, not soon after the other two joined us, Paul grumpily flung himself into a spare seat. He was close to fuming.

"If you're angry, you should go cool down outside…" Jared said, leaning in front of me.

"I'm not gonna –" he paused and looked around, his mouth tightening as he bit his tongue.

"You better not," Jared warned. He waited for signs of Paul's anger diminishing before he relaxed. "What's up with you, anyway?"

"Stupid fucking Math. I hate this school so much – I don't know why Sam insists we get an education, I'm more use out of this shit hole."

Embry caught my eye as he tried not to giggle. I'd probably giggle more at Paul if I wasn't quite so frightened of him.

"What they say?" Jared asked, holding down his smirk in an effort to look sympathetic for his friend. It was a poor effort, I have to say.

"If I don't have at least one of the Math homeworks done by tomorrow then I'm going to have to get a tutor."

The boys all roared with laughter and he reached over and shoved each of them hard. "Shut the fuck up!"

"You'll just have to crack down and get the homework done like a good little boy then, won't you?" Jared teased.

"You know full well I don't have time, dickwad. Not only have I got double patrols to run tonight, but I've got to look after Lily, Francis and Matt, and they're such little fuckers lately. And I can't tell the school to shove the stupid tutor up their ass because they'll send a letter home or expel me or shit like that, and Linds doesn't need to deal with that too."

Okay, so Paul isn't the biggest jerk in the world, I realise. I may have been wrong about him. Jared said he lives with his grandmother Linda, who took in him, his younger brother and sister and his cousin Matt about five years ago when his dad ran off with his mom's sister. And he doesn't see his mom that much either since his parents divorced apparently.

"You can copy mine if you want."

Paul turned to me and I have to say I'm still shit scared under his hard gaze.

"Really?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to act calm even though I was scared he'd punch me in the face. "It won't take long to just copy it down, you can probably get it done by the end of lunch."

I pulled out my book and offered it to him and a rare grin formed on his face. "You are a freaking life saver!" he said, seemingly genuinely grateful. I smiled as he took it from me, flicking through the pages. "Now I get why Jared keeps you around!"

Jared laughed but my smile fell. Great.

All of a sudden Paul started to splutter. We all turned to him as he laughed and then he started to show my Math book around to Jacob and Embry, who both started to laugh.

"What?" I asked, starting to panic. They gave it to Jared, who was looking perplexed. His face broke out into the widest grin and he turned to me, beaming. They all cracked up again. "What?"

I tried not to snatch it, but I pulled it out of his hands pretty forcefully.

My mouth dropped and my mind flooded with pure panic.

All over the page was 'I love Jared', 'Jared Thail forever', 'Kim for Jared' and my favorite, 'Mrs. Kimberly Jared Thail'.

My life was over.

There isn't any reason worth living anymore.

"OH MY GOD! I DIDN'T WRITE THAT!" I screamed but they weren't listening. "I swear to god that wasn't me! That was Oli – he had my math book! IT WASN'T ME!"

Humiliation just can't even come close to describing it.

They continued to laugh. Jared smiled and picked me up, pulling me onto his lap.

I pulled away and stood up, demanding the boys' attention.

"It wasn't me who wrote that! Look – they even spelt my name wrong! It's 'l-e-y' not 'l-y'! Why would I spell my own name wrong? It was obviously not me!"

Jared continued to try pull me into his lap, smiling.

"Okay, Kim," he said, his arm circling my waist as he finally managed to get me down. "Personally I think it's really cute."

"Oh my god! It wasn't me, Jared! That's not even my writing – that's nowhere near like my handwriting! Look how disgustingly messy that is! My handwriting is nowhere near that messy! Look at my handwriting compared to that! And I do not dot my 'i's with little hearts!"

The last part seemed to set them off laughing again.

They weren't believing me.

"This was from a page like two months ago, we didn't even speak then!"

They continued to laugh and Jared just let out an 'aww' so I started to hit him with the notebook to get him to shut up and listen.

"I. Didn't. Do. It." I punctuated each word with a thwack of the book to his arm.

Jared smoothed my hair out along my back with his hand and smiled. "It's sweet."

"IT WASN'T ME!"

They laughed and I grabbed the notebook, storming off to Oli and I then proceeded to beat the shitting life out of him.

But I'm a bit of a weakling so that was a bit of an exaggeration.

He laughed and tried to push me off. "What the hell?" he said, smiling as always.

I opened up the book to the devil page and shoved it in his face. He laughed.

"Oh wow, Kimmy-Con, you really are obsessed."

I hit him round the head with the book. "I know it was you, you little shit!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he lied. I glared. "Who found it?"

"Paul. And then showed it to all of them."

His eyes considerably brightened. "Did Jared see it too?"

I nodded, my arms crossing as I glared. He laughed hysterically and Luis high fived him. I pinched them both.

"Oleskei Kent, I officially hate you."

He laughed good-naturedly. "I'm very sorry." He wasn't.

Didn't he understand the seriousness of this? It was mortifying beyond belief. Eurgh, I can't stop cringing when I think about it.

Oli is the sort of guy who just doesn't care. He's like Jason. No matter what happens he just thinks it's all a bit of a laugh. He has no concern for my mental welfare. I have to live with their teasing forever now! I glared at him for the rest of the day. The worst thing is that you can't even truly be angry at him because you know he never wanted to hurt you because his brain just isn't wired to be spiteful.

Oh god, guess what else happened?

Later on today Jared asked me to go meet his mom. Yes, that's right. Meet his mom.

It just wasn't going to happen, but I knew he wanted to try and persuade me. He was going to deploy the puppy eyes; I could tell from the look on his face.

"Please, Jared," I begged. "Please, no more. I've had enough humiliation for one day."

He wrapped me up in his arms and smiled down at me.

"Aww, but Kim," he whined and I groaned.

"You can't make me!"

He chuckled into my ear, holding me close against him, and then (even though he'd tried to reel in the kisses since I last mentioned it) he kissed the skin just below my ear. I shivered.

"That's a dirty trick, Jared." It appears to be my weak spot. And I'm pretty sure he knows it.

He laughed again then pulled away, cradling my face in both of his hands. I always feel like my head is so small when he does that – I don't have a significantly small head, his hands are just so massive.

"Fine," he said softly and I let out a very relieved sigh. "But you will tomorrow."

"Oh, Jared!" I groaned and moved in, resting my head against his chest. "This isn't fair!"

"I met your step-dad..."

"And it was probably more embarrassing for me!" I said, pulling away. He smiled that gorgeous smile and we both knew he was winning.

"Okay, we'll make it even; I'll meet your mom," he bargained.

I looked at him in horror and his smile faltered. "You are not meeting my mother!"

"Why not?" he asked, confused.

Why doesn't he understand? Nothing good will come of that! He does not want to meet her.

"Because!" I spluttered. I just can't put into words the awfulness of the situation if he were to meet her.

"You don't want me to meet her," he said, a frown forming on his face, which made me feel like the horriblest person ever.

"No, Jared! It's not that, I just… I don't want her to meet you." He looked at me disbelievingly. "She's a bit… Eurgh. I don't think you're strong enough to meet her yet – I'll have to prepare you first and the preparation period is incredibly long. We haven't even started."

"You're so dramatic," he said.

I took his large hand in mine and squeezed it. "I'm really sorry." He still didn't look as happy as before and I couldn't stand knowing I caused that. I kissed his hand. "I'll meet your mom?"

He smiled finally and squeezed my hand back. "Tonight?"

"Tomorrow," I compromised and he nodded.

"Thank you. It'll be fine, I promise. Mom can't wait to meet you."

My eyes widened and I gulped. That isn't good. Were Paul and Embry telling the truth when they said they were really close, and he told her everything and she was really scary and going to hate me for taking him away? Nathan did say that Jared told his mom that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. Maybe there was some truth to that.

Oh crap.

Jared laughed at me. "Don't worry about it, she'll love you. She already loves you."

Oh double crap.

This can only mean that her expectations are high. She is going to be so disappointed. I hope he's just lying to make me feel better and he hasn't even mentioned me. I suppose it's really sweet if he's been talking about me to him.

Jared gave me a quick hug just as Oli walked past.

"These high levels of PDA are really just not acceptable for school and frankly a little bit sickly," he said, looking down at me in disdain. "Please just stick to the lovesick doodling, Kim."

"Oleskei Kent, you are so freaking dead!"

I left Jared to verbally and physically abuse Oli again. I like to call him by his full name when he angers me because I know he hates it as much as I hate 'Kimmy' or 'Kimberley' – or his favorite nickname for me, 'Kimmy-Con'.

I really like the name Oleskei though, just because it's different. He was named after his great-great-great grandfather or something. I suppose that is one of the upsides of living in La Push; the names can tend to be a little outlandish. I wish I had a wicked Quileute name. Kim is such a boring name.

Ever since finding out the whole werewolf thing I'm finding all of the La Push history so interesting.

Oh god, I can't stop thinking about meeting his mother. How the hell am I going to cope? I hope to god Paul and Embry were over exaggerating a lot.

She's so gonna roast me alive.

How am I supposed to sleep when I have this to worry about?

Dear lord, please save me from further humiliation. I just can't take it anymore.

Why did I let him convince me into doing this?

Wish me luck.

Kim Conweller

Okay, so that's my take on the whole 'writing his surname on the end of hers in her book' that was mentioned from the scene at the bonfire. I know that in the book it was said that she was already had strong feelings for him when he imprinted but I've changed it a bit. She was still strongly attracted to him, but I didn't have them as friends before they imprinted and she can't really have feelings for him if they didn't really talk. And I did think she seemed a bit crazy obsessed with the whole silently crushing on the guy next to you and imagining marrying him so I'm toning it down a bit!

Thanks again everyone who's reading and reviewing, you lot inspire me to keep posting as I love hearing what you guys think of this.

Abby - You're not the only one on the kissing front! Haha, I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little while longer, but thank you for reading and reviewing!