Hello All!
You are all soooo lucky that I stopped studying for my midterms to type up this chapter!
I LOVE MIDTERMS! (heheh thought you should all know that lol)
2 periods a day go reeeeeaally fast and we get half day's for a week... what's not to like?(oh yeah and since I have study hall Friday i dont have to go!) yay!
I'll stop wasting ur time now! on with the story!
Chapter 14
Seamus…Elvish Lover boy?
While Hermione and Winky were decorating the tree, and Ron was washing dishes under Blumby's watchful eye, Grimmy and Gribby were having a little fun of their own. The brothers were in charge of maintaining Hogwarts' plumbing system and today seemed like the perfect day to go unclog those old toilets… Not alone of course, they also had the Malfoy family in tow.
"I cannot be going in there!" screeched an enraged Lucius Malfoy.
"Why is not?" demanded Grimmy.
"It's dirty in there, and it is being smelly and wet," he sniffed dramatically.
Grimmy gave him a death glare, but Lucius seemed oblivious to is.
"It is also being the ladies room," he added haughtily.
"Nevertheless Mister Malfoy will be going," Gribby growled, "as will Missus Malfoy and Mister Malfoy junior."
The two janitorial elves herded Draco and Narcissa into the echoing bathroom and booted Lucius in. Grimmy hung a sign on the outside of the door that "closed for service," then shut the door behind them.
"Today," Gribby began, "yous is be unclogging—"
He was interrupted by a loud wail followed by the appearance of a translucent, grayish, bespectacled young girl floating through a cubicle.
"Wahhhh! Who are you! Come to laugh and gloat over poor moaning myrtle perhaps? Because she's DEAD? Just this morning, I was sitting quietly in my u-bend when $#+ dropped right through me from above. I looked up to see who would dare to use my toilet. I must say I gave them quite a scare, but what's worse, it was a man!" Myrtle wailed, "Bloody Argus Filch! Never watching where he drops his dirt! He will regret the day he used my toilet! If he ever enters this bathroom again, I'll ensure he never gets out… alive," she swooped closer, "Ahh, but you're just the house elves I suppose—wait! Don't I know you three?" she pointed to the Malfoys and her beady eyes narrowed, "I Do! YOU!" she pointed to Narcissa and Lucius, "You two used to sneak in here every afternoon after classed, disturbing my peace… despicable!"
Narcissa looked mortified at this accusation.
"Yes I knew," smiling grimly at her reaction, "Because of you, I was forced to hide in the sink plumbing with the spiders! Steal my cubicle will you! You disgust me! And you!" She turned now to Draco, "You and the Slytherin scum you call friends threw urinal cakes at me when I was merely passing by! I loath you all! Go away and leave me in my misery!" she wailed and dove headlong into her toilet.
Water came gushing from the cracked porcelain bowl and flooded the bathroom.
"Eeeke!" screeched Narcissa, "I is getting my new dress all wet!"
Gribby handed her an old stained rag, "Get working," he advised.
Narcissa jumped away from the rag as if it were a bomb.
"I is not stooping to the level of toilet cleaning!" she spat daintily.
Gribby fished a pair of dirty, used, rubber gloves from the flooded floor and dangled them for her to take.
"Yes you is," he answered, "or you will remain elf forever."
"No," she swept away and sat stubbornly on a upturned bucket.
Gribby flung the sopping gloves at Narcissa and they smacked her wetly in the face. She stood up, shaking in pure rage, but Gribby took no notice. Instead he turned to Lucius and Draco.
"Is you twos willing to be working?" Grimmy inquired wearily.
"Indeed not!" replied Lucius.
"If it is to your likening then Mister Malfoy," Gribby answered.
With a nod to his brother, Gribby advanced upon Lucius and grabbed an arm. Grimmy appeared at his other side and pinned down that arm. Lucius was marched into a cubicle with peeling green paint and he faintly recalled seeing the words 'Goyle and Parkinson 4ever' etched in, before his head was plunged into the reeking bowl. He fought wildly, but was un-mercilessly pinned down against the cold seat, his head still submerged under water, while the bowl was flushed repeatedly.
"Great," he thought to himself as he swallowed a mouthful of putrid water, "I'm going to drown in a toilet… Oh crap! My hair will be simply repulsive at the funeral!"
Gribby and Grimmy finally allowed him to resurface and he filled his empty lungs with the rank, grimy air that inhabited the bathroom. His once sleek hair was now plastered to his skin and his large black bow drooped slimily.
As he had no intention of getting shoved into the toilet again, he moodily let the plunger be pushed into his perfectly manicured hand without further argument.
After seeing what happened to Lucius, Draco and Narcissa meekly submitted to menial toilet cleaning. For the next many hours, they endured the squalid bathroom and Myrtle's occasional wails and cascades of ice cold water. Grimmy and Gribby were also hard at work trying to fix the pipes that allowed Myrtle to flood the plumbing so often. Unfortunately, their attempts had proven futile so far.
Draco scrubbed furiously at the already sparkling toilet. Once this was all over he would personally make sure those Weasels got what they deserved… A good kick in the $$. Suddenly, the door to his cubicle swung open.
"Missed a spot!" an annoyingly familiar voice gloated.
Draco whipped around and was instantly blinded by a blatant white flash of light.
"Ahh… there's one for the scrapbook!" laughed Fred evilly. George's head popped into the doorway to join Fred's.
"Yeah Malfoy, Absolutely Love the new look… Seriously.. huge ears, yellow stained gloves, hairnet (he smirked… well he can't get his pretty hair messy now can he?)… Sooo you!"
Draco snarled in rage and rained a ceaseless torrent of blows at the two insufferable redheads.
"Oooohh," teased George, "little bugger's angry now… We'd best get going now Fred, he's a feisty little fellow."
After a few more purple spots inducing photographs of the Malfoys, the twins exited Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
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"Haha! Taking pictures of everyone as elves was a great idea!" bounced Fred who was about as happy as Cupid on Valentine's Day, "Let's see…we've gotten Neville, Colin, Blaise, Padma, Ginny, McGonagall and the Malfoys!"
"Brilliant!" agreed George halfheartedly.
"Something wrong mate?" asked Fred noticing his twin's tone.
"No. Course not." Replied George, quickly changing the topic, "Did you see Malfoy though? Priceless!"
"Aww, come on George…" begged Fred as they passed the prefect's bathrooms, "I'm your twin, I know things! What's up?
"Nothing"
"Yeah right! What's wrong?"
"Nothing"
"Liar"
"Nothing for crying out loud! Bloody nothing!"
"Well you sure got worked up about nothing." Fred said smugly.
"I'm not worked up!"
"Yes you are"
"Are not"
"Are too"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"ARE NOT!"
"tell me what's wrong."
"NOTHING!"
"George! Tell me!"
"There is nothing wrong damnit!"
"Yes there is! Spill!"
"never!"
"HAAAAAAAAAA!"
"what?"
"you just admitted something is wrong."
"#$!"
"now you have to tell!"
"no"
"yes"
"no"
"yes"
"NO"
"fine, but I'll find out eventually,"
snorts "Good luck with that"
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They turned a corner and neared the entrance to the Great Hall. They then hid behind a pillar and peeked in. Fred held the camera at the ready and scanned the room for interesting and highly embarrassing photo opportunities.
But George only had eyes for one person (ok maybe elf—three guesses who). He watched, enraptured as the slim, brown-haired elf with large chocolate eyes gently took a large light-filled container from another elf. She removed the lid and the light burst forth, scattering throughout the hall and swirling madly around the elf. A tiny blue spark of light neared him, and George realized with awe that they were miniscule fairies. He returned his gaze to the elf, who was now bathed in the fiery glow of circling fairies. She twirled around and George took a sharp intake of breath as the sparkling light hit her features at just the right angle. From her gentle brown eyes, bubbled hope, innocence and sheer joy intermingled and blended together so well it was impossible to tell them apart.
"Even as an elf she's beautiful," he murmured softly.
Apparently not softly enough.
"What was that George?" Fred grinned slyly.
"Oh nothing," he fumbled, "erm… just said the tree looks.. ah… beautiful… yeah."
"Yup. The sad part is I would have believed you too George. Except for the fact that you also so casually mentioned the phrase 'even as an elf'. And frankly you can't turn a tree into an elf my brother."
"Er… Right… You're hearing things Fred. I definitely did not say elf, and I'm positive I said tree, not she."
"HAAAAA!"
"what?"
"You just admitted you said the words 'elf' and 'she'!"
"#$!"
"Sooo… let's see…" Fred tapped his chin mockingly, "Something is wrong… and it's about… a she-elf!"
George stared at him stonily.
"Wait! You're in love with an elf?" Fred cried in mock horror.
Unfortunately, George failed to detect the hint of mockery and whispered hotly, "In case you haven't noticed, retard, we've turned the whole bloody school into elves!"
"Ouch!" winced Fred, "Don't get your knockers into a knot!" he paused, "And from your blind fury, I have come to the conclusion that my former conclusion was indeed correct… You are in love… with a female (thank Godric) student (or teacher perhaps? No? Okay) who we have transformed into an elf and you are under the assumption that never in a zillion years could she ever have the same feelings towards you."
George sighed heavily; the truth was out, "How did you know?"
"Because, dear brother, I am your twin… I know things… Now who is the lucky young lady?"
"Hgushmnyugfckyrsf…"
"Actually I'd rather not," Fred replied cheerfully, "Guess I'll go find out for myself then," he peered into the great hall and caught sight of two figures. He smirked evilly.
"George.." Fred gasped in a dismayed voice, "You've fallen for Hermione?"
"And so what if I have?" George challenged.
"I…well…I love her too..." Fred admitted in the smallest voice he could manage.
"WHAT!" George roared.
"Heh…erm…yeah…guess it's a twin thing eh?" Fred cowered at George's advancing form.
"I SAW HER FIRST!" George bellowed childishly.
"Er… can't we be… brotherly and erm… share or something?" Fred stammered.
"HAVE YOU GONE BLOODY MAD! ARE YOU EVEN THE LEAST BIT SERIOUS?"
Fred stood up from his crouching position and grinned, "Nope! Gotcha! You really do love her!" With that he ducked under his twin's outstretched fist and swaggered over to the large fire place.
"Fred?" asked George in a defeated voice.
"Yup?"
"Have I told you lately how much I hate you?"
"If I remember correctly, then yes, last night when I flicked a glob of mashed potato at your eye… as moody said… CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Tata now! THE BURROW!" A swirling green flame rose up to engulf him.
George angrily grabbed a heavy metal object from his pocket and chucked it forcefully into the spot where his brother's head had just been. It disappeared along with Fred into the burning emerald vortex.
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Fred stepped briskly out into the Weasley kitchen and brushed the dust from his robes. A second later, he heard a large object clatter harshly onto the metal grate behind him. He turned and chuckled to himself, "Hey look! I found a galleon!"
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George gazed once again at the object of his affections as she helped her 'elf buddy' put up tinsel around the hall. Suddenly she spun around and their eyes locked for a long moment. George broke the connection hastily and scurried frantically behind a pillar, his breath trapped within his uncooperative lungs.
"Nonvedetis," he gasped and felt the familiar tingle of iciness trickle down his spine as his body disappeared from view. He padded silently out the thick wooden entry doors of Hogwarts and towards the Forbidden Forest.
Yes, a nice relaxing stroll through the forest, chock-full of dangerous and lethal creatures who would just love to eat him up, ought to soothe his frazzled nerves. Lucky for him, he was invisible.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Hermione peeked curiously out of the Great Hall. She could have sworn she'd seen George. His face had appeared from behind this pillar, but he was simply not there. She sighed; it had probably just been a trick of the light… or a daydream perhaps. There was just something about him that made him… unique. It was the only way she'd ever been able to tell the twins apart.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Harry and Dobby.
"Hello Hermy and Winky!" Dobby chirruped, bowing to Hermione and bending down to brush a kiss across Winky's hand, as she blushed profusely.
"Hi Dobby! Hi Harry!" Hermione replied, "What is yous doing today? We was decorating the tree."
"Dobby and Harry is getting to boss around all the teachers!" Harry spoke with relish, "Harry had even made Sevvy Snapey to wash the chamber pots… And Dobby showed Harry wand-less DADA spells even!" Harry relayed proudly.
"Yes isn't it being wonderful?" agreed Hermione, "Winky is teaching Hermy to do wand-less transfigurations too!"
The four elves began to exit the Great hall but were halted by the sudden presence of a damp, moody Ron.
"Bloody Blumby," he muttered darkly as way of explanation.
"Ronald should not be pushing buttons so much," Dobby chided with a grin, "Blumby is telling me everything isn't he Harry Potter?"
Harry laughed, "C'mon, time for us to be getting going. Bye Dobby and Winky!"
The group parted, Dobby and Winky one way, the Golden Trio, another. As Dobby and Winky padded away, their hands accidentally touched, and Dobby interlaced his fingers in hers.
"Awww… they is sooo cute," Hermione squealed.
"Please," Ron scoffed, "Someone to gag Ron."
"Harry agrees with Hermy; It is good they is happy."
The three ascended up the stairs. When they reached the top, an odd squeaking noise could be heard.
"Shhh.." Hermione shushed them.
She followed the noise to a cleaning supplies closet and put her hand on the knob. With Harry and Ron behind her, she whipped open the door.
"Seamus!" Ron asked incredulously, "And who is you?" he indicated towards the pretty young elf in Seamus' arms.
"Cerilly," she whispered fearfully, "please do not be saying anything of this," she implored, "Goodbye Seamus"
She disentangled herself from Seamus and scurried quickly away.
"Thanks a lot!" squeaked Seamus sarcastically at Ron before dashing after Cerilly.
Hermione, Harry and Ron stared at one another in disbelief. (use your imagination and tell me what perverted ideas you all have come up with…lol)
"Well that was," Harry began.
"Awkward," answered Hermione.
"Gross," Harry continued.
"Hilarious!" finished Ron laughing his head off.
Harry and Ron joined in and they climbed the stairs to their respective dorms, still chuckling at the odd incident. Seamus and a house elf… Who Knew?
wow! 8 pages... well I guess George & Fred's argument took up about one page... Oh well!
REVIEW! or else! 8 pages surely deserves a nice review? p l e a s e ?