New chapter! I'm think I'm going to take a break from flow of life and focus on this story and my others. Please check out my other story love for two! I need reviews people! I have really good ideas for it!
He's not mine. I will devise a plan to get Naruto. When I think of it…I will let you know.
Shocked didn't even begin to describe Gaara's reaction to the tattoo. He was flabbergasted. It was almost unbelievable that Sakura would do this. Of course under influence of alcohol, you never knew what one person would do. She must have done this without thinking.
He pulled his hand back as if he was just burnt. Slowly he covered the inked skin back up. He couldn't stand it. The symbol. The love symbol. He remembered the day he imprinted it on himself. That painful day. The horrifying images ran through Gaara's mind.
He cringed harshly as the image of his dead uncle played over. His heart broke that day. The one person…the only one he ever thought could or would love him…tried to kill him. And if that weren't bad enough, he had to admit that he hated Gaara. Hated him for taking the life of an innocent woman the day he was born. It killed Gaara. He could have sworn he died.
His heart shattered. It was broken beyond repair, and no amount of love that could enter his life would ever heal it. But he never thought that love would enter his life. He knew his siblings held something in the way of caring for him, but it wasn't what he needed. He needed someone who wouldn't be afraid of him. Someone who wouldn't care about his past.
He looked down at the girl beside him. He never thought that love existed. Until she came into his life. Even if he hadn't felt the love yet, he got a taste of it. And in all honest truth. It scarred the hell out of him. Every time he thought of having someone love him, his thoughts turned to Yashamaru, and how he betrayed him. Gaara had realized that he didn't want love.
He had learned his lesson. Love isn't something that is so simple. It's so difficult. And he hated it. He never knew what it was like to be loved. He now knew he never wanted to love anyone. The one thing he so longed for all his young life…was the one thing that scarred his older self.
He was afraid of getting hurt beyond repair again. He was afraid that if he loved someone, they wouldn't love him back. He was afraid that love would never exist in his life. That maybe what was going on between him and Sakura is just an infatuation, something that won't last through a whole marriage.
He was afraid of love.
Painful memories of his childhood plagued his mind. Gaara clutched his head, trying to shut out the pain and lonely-ness. He gently threw the covers off his body and grabbed his shirt. Pulling the clothing over his head he opened the window, and without looking back into the room, he climbed out and took of into the night.
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Sakura was frantic. She woke up to no one beside her that morning. That wasn't what freaked her out though. Gaara could have just gotten up before her. No big deal. She walked through her home, searching for the red head. Temari was already a wake, watching something on TV while sipping some coffee. Sakura noticed that Gaara wasn't there. She was about to ask the blonde if she knew where Gaara was, but Temari beat her to the question.
"Sakura is Gaara still sleeping? He's usually the first to wake up." Sakura now grew more worried "No, I was just looking for him." she said, her voice held concern. Temari though, didn't seem as worried.
"I'm sure he's fine. He did this all the time when he couldn't sleep. Besides, he's the Kazekage, he can protect himself." Her words didn't help the kunoichi. Sakura wasn't afraid of someone else hurting Gaara. She was afraid of what he could do to himself.
Sakura wasn't a medic for nothing. Besides studying the anatomy of the body, she was also trained to study the psychiatric condition of the body as well. She had studied hard, having Tsunade training her in this area. She was now able to recognize signs to different conditions, weather it be depression or mental disabilities. Judging by Gaara's past and everything that…to her own knowledge…happened to him, he was at a high risk to have a mental breakdown at any time.
Besides that she never knew him to just leave and not let her know. Or at least leave her a note. But he was a grown adult; he could do as he chose. She wasn't there to keep 24/7 monitoring on him right? She couldn't help but worry though.
"Oh, well I just hope he'll be home, we were supposed to go and make a final decision on where the wedding and everything was supposed to be."
Temari nodded to show she understood why Sakura was overreacting. Planning a wedding was hard, and if you're given only a month to plan it, a girl can have a bad breakdown, especially if the groom is no help. "Here, get dressed and we'll go search." Sakura agreed with the offer and ran off to her room.
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Only an hour later the girls slumped back into the small apartment, defeated. They didn't find him. Nothing. No trace of chakra, no sand particles…nothing at all.
"It's not like him to leave without telling me." Sakura sighed. "Do you think…maybe something's troubling him?" she wondered out loud. Temari didn't say anything. She was thinking to herself. It was odd that he would just leave and not say anything. He was acting more like….like his old self. Back when he was younger, he was more distant. He would leave at any time without telling anyone. Now he would usually let someone know. It was odd.
"He's fine. I know it." Temari said. Once again the reassurance from the other girl didn't help Sakura. But she couldn't help but agree. From down the hall a sound emitted. It sounded like someone shutting something. Curiously Sakura descended down the passageway. She heard foot steps coming from her room.
She walked in to find the one person she was searching for laying on her bed. His jade orbs were staring intently up at the ceiling while his hands lay casually on his stomach. It looked as if he had been there all day. She wanted to know what was wrong, but didn't want to do anything to anger him.
Slowly, the cherry blossom girl moved towards her bed and crawled up, lying next to Gaara.
And that's all they did.
They just laid there in silence. Neither one of them said or did anything. Moments passed. Both of them were sorted through their own thoughts. Both series of thoughts being different. Sakura could feel his body heat radiating off of him. It was comfortable. She rolled on her side and studied his face. It was a void, no emotion was shown. It was like he magically changed into a rock.
"Gaara." She whispered. He didn't move. She reached her hand up and traced it along his cheek. "Tell me what's wrong." Her voice was so gentle.
He still remained silent. He was afraid. He didn't know what he wanted. The only thing he did want was to avoid being hurt again. These newly risen emotions that were stirred inside him brought back painful memories. It was a hard thing to deal with.
But it's not like he could tell her he was afraid. Afraid of her. Afraid of her love. No, he couldn't be afraid of her love. He was afraid of himself. What would happen? It was too confusing. Gaara was getting a headache.
"Please." Her soft voice was frantic. She wanted to help him. "Just talk to me." Her hand moved down his jaw line and to his neck. It traveled back up again and expertly massaged his temples. The chakra infused fingers felt so good, and it help him relax. Gaara sighed.
"I don't know what to do." That's all he said. He left it hanging, as if daring her to guess the rest of why he was upset. He closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle touch of her fingers.
"Afraid of what?" she asked. Sakura wanted to figure out what was wrong, but didn't want to enter dangerous territory.
He was under her spell. Maybe it was some sort of wicked jutsu. He couldn't keep himself from speaking. "I'm afraid of getting hurt. I've never know what it's like to have someone love me." Sakura nodded her head and continued her relaxation process. "The only time I ever thought someone loved me; it turned out to be a big lie. The bastard tried to kill me." Gaara growled the last part.
"He said he hated me. I'm just…afraid to get hurt like that again." He couldn't believe what he was saying. He would have never told this to anyone. So why her? Wasn't she the one he was supposed to avoid?
"I've been hurt too." She said. Her hands stopped her massage but found his hair more interesting now. She ran her fingers through his long amber locks. "Not as bad as you. But…I've been betrayed by someone I thought I loved. It hurt. So bad, and I spent my time crying tears over him. He didn't deserve those tears." Sakura's eyes grew dark. She hated herself for what she did.
She cried so much over him. He wasn't worthy of her tears. She trained so hard just to bring him back. But if she ever did, what would she do? She would probably fall for his old attitude. If he apologized, she would hesitate, and then accept it. If he asked her to start loving him, she would hand her poorly sewn heart to him. If he asked her for marriage, she would be at the alter at any time. If he asked her to restore the clan, she would give herself to him.
But not now. She thought about it. What about the man next to her? Would she do the same for him? He had grown on her. She admitted that she had feelings for him. If given the choice, would she have married him, probably not. But the way they were now, she honestly wouldn't hesitate. He was too good a guy to give up. She had grown to except him and his past. She had learned to deal with his mood swings. She had….learned to…to love him.
But was that right? Did she love him? Did he love her? Could their feelings go beyond a crush? Her hands moved his hair and locked around his arms. She didn't stop herself from putting herself on his torso and hugging her body to his. Maybe, her feeling did go deeper. "We've both had bad things happen to us. We have to accept that, and know that not everyone's love will hurt us."
The words sank in, and Gaara understood what she meant. His arms held her to him. "I'll never hurt you either." He said. Sakura smiled and buried her head in his chest.
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"We have to head back now." Gaara said. It was still the same day, only an hour after their conversation. Sakura grew worried. "But I was going to meet the manger of where I want to have the wedding." She said.
"I know but I have to make sure Kankuro didn't lead to the fall of my village." He replied, knowing how easily Kankuro could crack under pressure.
"Um…fine." Sakura said. She made her way to the door and slipped into her sandals. "I'll be back then." She said and made her way out the door. Gaara watched her go, wondering where she would be going off to.
Ten minutes later the kunoichi returned, seemingly satisfied. She made her way to her room to pack. Gaara appeared in the doorway. "Where did you go?" he asked. Sakura went to her dresser and sorted through her undergarments. Gaara noticed and saw a flash of white cotton. He blushed.
Sakura was oblivious to his discomfort and answered his question. "I asked Ino to go and look through the places I was going to look at. I trust her judgment. I left her a list of things I needed and she promised she and the girls would help out." Sakura was terribly relieved to know her girlfriends would be helping gout so much.
Finally after they were ready they left. It was a long travel from Konoha to Suna. Tree hoping really was tiring after a while. After taking the night to rest, they resumed their journey early in the morning, hoping to be in Suna by at least sunset.
When they sun was starting to descend, their hike through the desert plains was nearing an end as the village began to take form. From where they were, it didn't look like it was in disastrous trouble. Upon entering the village, the three began to inspect their surroundings. Shops were closing and the people were traveling home for the night.
"Everything looks ok." Temari said, thankful that Kankuro kept good care of the village. Gaara was relived.
Sakura was just happy to see their home. Thoughts of sleep filled her mind as a smile appeared on her face. Nice warm comfy bed and sleeping in Gaara's arm was perfect. She yawned widely.
As Temari and Sakura walked towards the house, Gaara started to take a different route. "I have to go to the office." He said. They nodded though Sakura was a bit disappointed. That means he wouldn't be home till late.
Gaara made his way into the Kazekage tower. He found Kankuro sitting at his desk, signing papers. Good, someone would know the pain he went through everyday.
Kankuro looked up from his work, taking notice to his brother's presence. "So how was Konoha?" he asked. Putting the pen down, Kankuro sat back in Gaara's chair.
Gaara sat in a chair opposite to his desk. "Tiring." He said in all honesty. He heard chuckling. "Meeting the parents is always the hardest." Gaara nodded his head in agreement. "I thought her father was going to kill me. Or at least try." Kankuro chuckled again.
"How was everything here?" he asked. It was then that Kankuro's mood turned serious. He stopped his chuckling, and lost his amused grin. "There have been…foreigners coming around. More than usual. They have been asking questions. I think they're the one looking for Sakura." Gaara growled. So now they were asking people. They really were trying hard to get Sakura huh? Who could want her so bad?
He made his way back home with Kankuro. The issue didn't subside from his head as he tried to plan out what he should do. She would obviously need more security, but he knew she wouldn't be so easy as to having a guard with her. Maybe he should have more ninja patrolling around the village, keeping an eye on her and strange activities.
Walking into the now dark house, both boys made their way to their own rooms. Gaara found Sakura sleeping in his bed, curled up and clutching her small panda bear. He changed into his pajama pants and climbed in next to her. The stirring on the bed cause her to wake. She lifted her head and noticed him next to her.
Gaara kissed her shoulder. "Sleep." He said pulling the covers over them both. She turned her head and gave him a chaste good night kiss before falling back to sleep. Gaara pulled her body as her back pressed into his bare chest. He wouldn't let anyone take her from him. No one would ever hurt her.
Including him.
Well, I honestly don't like this chapter. I'm running out of ideas. I'll think of something though. So I hope you liked it…..Review please!