I hope this is the last rewrite I have to do for this chapter, but it was brought to my attention that the previous chapter 14 was grossly out of character for Natsuki and presented her in a weak light. I'm hoping this revision clears that up and presents her as a stronger, but collapsing, character. I have also changed some relevant parts in the following chapters so I recommend rereading everything passed this point. Thank you all for reading and I hope you understand.

Al holds his hand up to stop her as she begins to tell the next part of her story. "Perhaps you should do something more recent. How about the accident? Why don't you tell me about the accident?"

"Okay, the accident. Right." She tries to remember the details, but a fog keeps her from seeing it clearly. She digs deep and starts to unearth the memories, like a tresure hunter searching for the remnants of a lost civilization. After she had picked out enough to put it into words she begins. "I remember being worried about Natsuki."

-IPR-

I sat in my first year Constitutional Law class trying to listen to the lecture but I couldn't hear over the sound of my droning thoughts. As I found I often did, I was thinking about Natsuki. When we had moved in together everything seemed to be going so well, we were both so happy together. But after we both started school we weren't able to spend as much time together as we used to. This became especially pronounced after she got an internship at a local mechanic shop and she was either at school or at work and when we did get to see each other either she or I were too tired to do much of anything. This ran through my head until three o'clock when I grabbed my book bag, put on my heavy coat against the freezing temperatures and headed home.

It had been Natsuki's day off from the garage, though she had still had class, so I hopped up the steps of our small house with excitement. I opened the door hoping to see her beautiful face to greet me, but she wasn't there. The lights were all off and the room looked undisturbed. I noticed the door ajar to our bedroom and the light on so I crept over and peeked inside.

Natsuki lay on her back on the bed staring straight up at the ceiling, she still wore the underclothes she had worn the night before. I opened the door and greeted her warmly. "Hi, beautiful." She didn't immediately respond, only continued to stare at the ceiling. As I got closer I realized that she wasn't looking up, she was asleep. She stirred when I sat down on the bed to take off my shoes. I tossed my shoes in a corner of the room, swearing to pick them up later, and threw my legs up on the bed to lay down beside her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I know you must be tired."

"It's okay. I wanted to be awake when you got home, but I guess my weariness caught up to me." She smiled warmly at me and I kissed her on the forehead. I loved her, and it's because of this love that I was working so hard then. Times were tough, but once they were over we would have the rest of our lives to make up the time. At the time, though, it was quite the ordeal. She reached up and took my chin, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Now that I'm awake, maybe we can make up for some lost time."

We made love furiously, making up for the weeks of separation with passion. Afterwards I lay on my back, sweat running down my body with Natsuki holding onto me. She looked up into my eyes. "It's been a while since we've been able to do that. I miss doing this with you every day."

"I know, but it will all be worth it. When I'm running my own law firm and you're running your own garage we'll be able to be together." I laid my head back and she nuzzled into my neck.

"But will we though? You'll be busy with cases all the time, and running a garage takes a lot of work. It'll be just the same as it is now, we'll still be apart."

"But we both need to make a living, Natsuki. How else are we supposed to do that?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "Maybe it's better this way. What's that old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.""

"Well then I'm growing very fond of you, sweetheart." I held her close to me, relishing the little time that we managed to spend together. In a way, not being able to see her all the time made me enjoy the time we spent together far much more than I would have. Maybe those old sayings had some truth to them. "Do you have a busy schedule tomorrow? Maybe we can meet for lunch somewhere?"

"I have my morning class tomorrow, which lets out at eleven and I don't have to be at the shop until two, so I've got plenty of time for lunch tomorrow. Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking italian. I've been in the mood for pasta, and there's this small restaurant downtown that I've been wanting to try. Why don't we meet there at noon? Does that sound good?"

"That sounds perfect, bella."

"I love you, Natsuki."

"I love you too, Shizuru."

If I had known this would be the last time I would hear those words I would have relished them for longer.

-IPR-

The next day I woke up a little later than I usually do, but I had a late class that day so there was no reason for me to wake up early. The first thing I saw when I woke up was the clock I kept on the nightstand by our bed. It was just before eleven o'clock so I jumped out of bed and hopped into the shower. I bathed in a hurry and threw on the first clothes I found. I didn't want to be late to my lunch meeting with Natsuki.

I hurried out the door, forgetting that it was the middle of winter and the temperatures were below freezing so I rushed in and grabbed my thick jacket and cap. I rushed out to the car and let it warm up for a good five minutes before starting my way downtown, being careful of ice on the road. I got there at eleven forty five, fifteen minutes before my meeting with Natsuki. I walked into the restaurant and the hostess asked if I would like to be seated, I told her that I was waiting on someone and that she should be along shortly.

I sat down at a window seat and watched for her motorcycle, but she didn't show up. I waited until nearly twelve thirty, but still there was no sign of her. I guessed that she had gotten held up and was about to leave, when who would walk through the door but Yukino and Haruka. They noticed that I was there and waved, I sat down with them and we placed our orders together. "Where's Natsuki? You two are usually inseperable."

My look must have told Haruka that I was a little put off by the question. "She was supposed to meet me here, but she didn't show. She probably got held up after class, or had to be at work early." I sighed. "Between our class schedule and her internship there just isn't any time for us anymore. We try to set aside at least a few hours a week for us to go on a date, or just stay at home and relax but it's getting harder and harder to find the time."

Our drinks arrived and Haruka took a long drink of hers. "That sucks, but that's life though. Nothing worthwhile in this world is easy. They've got me stuck in this calculus class and it is giving me hell. I never was any good at math. Fortunately I've got Yukino here to tutor me so I'm at least passing. But really, what does math have to do with being a contractor."

"A lot, actually. You see all the plans are laid out by the contractor and the measurements need to be exact otherwise..."

"I get it, but my dad was a contractor and he doesn't know squat about calculus. I showed him some of my homework and he turned as white as this table." She tapped on the table to demonstrate just how white his face turned. "But anyway, dad says I need to have at least a bachelor's degree before I can become a foreman in the family business so I'm fighting through until I get there. You just have to keep pushing forward."

"You're right, Haruka. We'll get there."

Our food arrived and we ate together. I kept looking at the door hoping that at any minute Natsuki would come running through it and apologize for being late. She didn't and it was almost one when we finished eating. Yukino looked at her watch and quickly stood and grabbed her purse. "Oh no, I'm late for class. Haruka, we need to hurry."

I looked up at her. "It's okay, Yukino. I can give her a ride home, she doesn't live that far away from me."

"Yeah, you get to class. We'll be fine."

"Okay, thanks Shizuru." She waved as she ran for the door and left just me and Haruka, who sat there and reminisced on our high school days until almost two, when we both got up and paid the tab. Haruka covered Yukino's part saying she would get the money back from her later. Then we walked out to my car, nearly shivering until the heater caught up and the temperature finally rose in the car.

I pulled out onto the road and got on the highway to take us home. Ahead of me was an eighteen wheeler, one of those large tanker trucks that are impossible to see around. Haruka was talking to me about the time we were both running for student council when I noticed the truck slam on it's brakes, turning to the left to avoid jackknifing. I went to slam the brakes, but we must have hit an ice patch because the next thing I remember the car had spun out of control and slid down a hill going nearly full speed.

-IPR-

"And?"

"The car careened down the highway, a runaway missile flying out of control and off the road. I didn't even see the tree, it was just there. Haruka was thrown free from the impact, I wasn't so lucky. I hit the tree, and hard." The implications of her memory dawns on her. "It wasn't Natsuki in the accident..." The pieces in her mind fall together and in one stroke of insight she understands where she is and what has happened. "it was me." The weight of the alignment crushes her consciousness and she falls to the floor.

She awakens in a bed in a white room. Her eyes were already open and she stares up at a white ceiling. She feels something sticking out of her throat, a long narrow tube. She tries to move her arm to pull it out, it does not answer. She tries to move her feet, her toes, her head, no answer. What is this?

The door opens and in walks Natsuki Kuga in the flesh. Not exactly as Shizuru remembers her, there are more lines across her face then before and her emerald eyes don't seem to shine anymore, her skin is pale and pallid and she is thin, like she hasn't eaten well, but she lives and a tear runs down Shizuru's cheek.

Natsuki sets a bag she carries down on a nearby table and approaches the bed, she sits down next to Shizuru, leans over and kisses her on the cheek. "Hi, bella." Natsuki returns to the bag and fishes out a hamburger, the most she has had to eat in three days. She returns to sit on the bed, unwraps it and takes a large bite out of it. "Work was terrible today." She speaks while chewing, as much as Shizuru wants to chastise her for it the sound of her voice makes her want to cry. "I swear they're going to put me in a bed like this."

She finishes the hamburger and tosses the wrapper in the trash. She pulls a nearby chair up to the bed and takes Shizuru's hand. She can't move or react to it, but she can feel it. She sees her hand out of the corner of her eye and doesn't recognize it. The hand is deathly pale and nearly skeletal, just like the rest of her. "I miss you so much." Natsuki cries, as she does every night, as she has for nearly a year. "You're wasting away, and I can't do anything about it. You're dying."

Natsuki's head hits the bed and she sobs. "Maybe they're right. Maybe I need to let you go." Pull the plug. Shizuru understands this and tries to shake her head, move a finger anything to convince her that she is alive but to no avail. The hand is still, her head is motionless. She pours all of her heart and soul, her mind and willpower, all her love for Natsuki into trying to show her that she is alive. Then, a miracle.

Her hand moves.

She faints from the effort, falling into oblivion until she is once again sitting in a chair before a desk in front of a man who stares blankly at her. "Do you understand now?" She nods. "Then you know what you must do."

Her limbs respond as she wills them to get up and make for the door. She opens it and stares into oblivion, to a darkness deeper than anything she has seen before. She steps forward into a garage with one car, her car. The door is open and the keys in the ignition. She turns them and the car starts up. She hits the gas and the car lurches forward onto the street.

She finds the highway and takes the on ramp. She holds the pedal down as far as it will go. One hundred, one hundred and ten, one hundred and twenty miles per hour and still it climbs. Her vision goes white around the edges, quickly converting until all she can see is white. She doesn't see the tree nor does she feel the impact. She is gone.

-IPR-

Six months and nine days ago...

Natsuki arrived home, dead tired from working all day. She had been called in early so she had gone directly from the school to the garage, completely forgetting about her lunch date with Shizuru. It was about four o'clock when she remembered and facepalmed, swearing that she would make it up to her at some later point in the week. Now she entered their home with an apology prepared in her head before she remembered that Shizuru had class that night so she probably wouldn't see her at all. It saddened her.

She took off her boots and tossed them haphazardly beside the couch, swearing to move them later, grabbed a drink from the refridgerator and turned on he TV. She had been sitting for only a few minutes when the phone rang. She got up slowly and answered it. "Hello?"

"Natsuki." Masato Viola was on the other end and she could tell by the sound of his voice that something was wrong.

"Yes, what's wrong?"
"It's Shizuru, there's...been an accident." She is stunned by those words, she has no idea how to react. "You need to come down to the hospital immediately."

As soon as she hung up the phone she sprung into action, throwing on her boots and jacket and riding her bike as fast as it will take her down the highway until she got to the hospital. There she took the elevator to the fourth floor where Shizuru was in ICU. She finds the waiting room, Masato and Reiko are sitting together waiting for her. They both look terrible. "Where is she? I want to see her."

They lead her to the room where she is being held, the doctor is just finishing his checkup when he looks up and sees Natsuki enter the room. "You must be..."

He starts to introduce himself but she shoves passed him and into the room where her love lies on a table covered in blood, stitches along her face and head where her skull had cracked, several sutures where large pieces of glass were pulled from her, her chest barely rising and falling in rhythm. Natsuki covers her mouth with her hands and falls to her knees. She crawls over to the bed and presses her forehead to it, unknowingly getting blood on her shirt.

This is my fault.

"You must be the girlfriend."

The doctor enters the room and tries to pull her from the bed but she is stuck like stone. Try as he might, he is unable to pull her from the bedside. Natsuki's voice is soft, vulnerable. "Is she alive?"

"Yes, though only just. Her life signs have stabilized but she has suffered severe head trauma and brain damage. We've repaired what we can but there are limits to what medical science can do." He puts a comforting hand on Natsuki's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Natsuki cries aloud for the first time since she was a child. The doctor leaves the room, he can't bear to see anymore, and Masahiro takes his place. She is still crying when he helps her sit in a chair in the waiting room. "I should have been there. If I had just met her for lunch, she wouldn't have been on the road. It's my fault."