Chapter 14

Many thanks for all the reviews! They are appreciated. Mila, your English is much better than my Portuguese! I'm glad this site and all the stories help you.

Lee sat quietly by Nelson's side, hoping today was the day he came back. Praying today was the day he could tell the man that was closer to him than a brother he was sorry. It had been two days since the admiral had been flown out of the desert and to the naval hospital in San Diego, two long days with virtually no change in the man's condition. The crew, for the most part, had gone back to Santa Barbara but occasionally a few could be seen roaming the halls or sitting in the waiting room, hoping they could take good news back to NIMR.

As Lee watched, Nelson slept restlessly, occasionally moaning softly or muttering incoherently. Two days of no good news had Crane's nerves on edge. Hearing the door open he turned, not surprised to see Chip there, two cups of coffee in his hands.

"I thought you could use some liquid refreshment," he joked.

Taking one of the cups, Lee sipped it slowly, sighing as he felt the caffeine begin to flow through his veins. "Thanks, Chip.

"Any time. Has there been any change?" Chip asked, knowing there was none but asking anyway.

"No. He hasn't come close to waking up."

"He will. Soon."

"What makes you think that? He hasn't shown any signs he's coming back. He…"

"I know him. And I know he's fighting to come back. If you weren't feeling guilty, you'd know that too."

"I have a lot to feel guilty for, don't I?" he replied harshly before turning back to stare at Nelson. "If we hadn't argued, he wouldn't have…"

"Stop it, Lee. You don't know what he would have done. The pressure of the past few weeks and the guilt he felt over the last mission was getting to him. I saw that while you were off on your ONI trip. He'd had enough of everyone and everything. Mostly, he'd had enough of all the blame and guilt he felt over what happened with the gas. McDonald's death..."

"ONI trip? You make it sound like I was off enjoying myself!"

"Weren't you?" Chip asked quietly, not daring to look at Crane.

"You think I enjoy these missions?" he asked incredulously.

"Don't you?"

"No, I don't! I go because I can make a difference! I can…"

"Can what? Get away? Look Lee, I can't say I understand what drives you to take these missions when you should be happy just being Seaview's skipper. I'm not ONI. He understands," he gestured to Nelson. "He told you that. He understands what you feel. He understands why you go. What…"

A soft moan from the admiral had both men rising quickly from their chairs to hover over him.

"Admiral?" Lee called softly. "It's Lee. Can you wake up for me?"

Both men watched as Nelson's head tossed restlessly from side to side.

"No…don't. Please…" Nelson whispered brokenly, his words barely understandable. Lee and Chip were shocked at the depth of emotion in the few simple words. "I...make it stop…please make it stop. I…have to…to hold on…I…I can't…can't…give up…let him…can't let…"

"Chip, find Jamie or Weston," Lee murmured before turning back to the admiral. "Admiral, it's Lee. Can you hear me? Please. Come back to us."

"Lee? Lee's gone. He won't…won't come…the pain…stop…please…stop…"

Nelson's words tore through Crane like a knife. He didn't think he would come for him? Why? Why would he think that?

"I'm here. I did come for you. We found you! Please, wake up!"

"No! No…no…no…have to hold on! I…"

"Admiral! Wake up! Please…"

"What's going on?" Jamie asked behind him as he entered the room quickly, Chip and a young nurse on his heels.

"I don't know. He started to wake up then he started muttering and getting agitated."

"Let me check him out. Wait outside."

"Doc…"

"Outside."

"Come on, Lee," Chip whispered as he took his arm ushering him slowly from the room, watching as Jamie and the nurse checked Nelson's vitals and tried to calm him down.

"Did you hear him, Chip? He thought I wouldn't come for him. Why? He had to know that no matter what, I'd come! I'd find him no matter where he was!"

"Of course he knew that. He was talking nonsense. He…"

"He what? He isn't in his right mind? Damn! What if…what if he is…?"

"Stop it, Lee! We don't know anything. It's the first time since we found him he's even tried talking. Don't borrow trouble!"

"He's right, Skipper."

Lee and Chip turned to see Jamie standing outside the admiral's room. "We can't give up on him. It's too early to know anything except he's getting better."

"Physically," Lee murmured.

"Yes, physically. His vitals are improving. His kidneys are functioning better. His burns, bruises and broken bones are healing. You just have to believe there's no other damage we can't see and that he'll come back all the way."

"I'm sorry. I just heard him…"

"I know. Look, his fever's still elevated and he's still feeling the effects of the dehydration and the drug. It's still in his system. Give him time."

"Did he calm down?"

"Yes, he's calm and back to sleep. I gave him something to help him relax. You two have spent too much time sitting here waiting for something that may be days off," Jamie said in concern. "Get out of here for a bit. Hit the beach…do something. Just not here."

"No, Jamie, I…"

"I know, Skipper…you don't want to be away if he wakes. That's not going to happen in the next few hours. I'm going to keep him sedated until tomorrow. Captain Weston and I agree it's for the best. His body needs the time to heal. Now get out of here. I don't want to see either of you until tomorrow morning. In fact, I'm going to leave orders that no one is to go in to see the admiral until tomorrow. Chip? Make sure you both go some place relaxing. Got it?"

"Got it, Doc. Come on, Lee. Let's head to the hotel and hit the beach. It'll be good for both of us," Chip said quietly as he steered Lee down the hall, who after a long look back at the closed door, allowed himself to be guided away.

~O~

Lee Crane sat on the balcony of the hotel he'd left just a few days ago, staring out at virtually the same scene he'd been watching after he'd first heard about the admiral. Then he'd been worried for the man's safety and now he worried for the man's sanity. What side effects had DeJean's drug caused? Were they permanent? Would the admiral recover completely? He longed to be able to take back the past days, longed to be able to take back the harsh words, longed to be able to make it all go away. But there was no going back.

"There you are," Chip called as he came out on the small balcony wearing dark blue swim trunks and a white tee shirt. He watched in admiration as the surfers waited patiently for the perfect wave and rode it in to shore. He longed to be out there with them but leaving Lee alone wasn't a good idea as he knew he'd take the first opportunity that presented itself and take off for the hospital, despite Doc's words.

"Yep. Here I am."

"I don't think this is what Doc meant when he said find something relaxing to do."

"It's all I got, Chip. I don't want to be far from the phone in case something happens."

"Doc told us nothing was going to happen for awhile at least. He sedated him. You know that."

"I know."

"Come on down to the beach at least. Just for a bit. I'll call the hospital and tell them to leave a message at the front desk for us if there's any change and I'll ask the front desk to come find us."

Sighing heavily, Lee rubbed his hands over his tired eyes and finally nodded. "All right. Just for a bit though."

Rising, the two men went inside the room where Lee changed into swim trunks while Chip made a few calls. Grabbing a towel, he reluctantly followed Chip out the door and down to the beach where he sat, listlessly watching the surfers off shore and studiously ignoring the plethora of lovely ladies that paraded up and down the beach in front of him, much to Chip's chagrin.

~O~

Early the next morning, the two Seaview officers were out of the hotel and outside the admiral's room waiting for Weston and Jamieson to finish doing an examination, Lee pacing anxiously back and forth as he waited for word.

The sound of the door opening had both men turning.

"How is he? Has he been conscious?"

Jamieson sighed heavily. "No, he hasn't been conscious. He's the same. I'm sorry. I wish I had better news."

Lee felt the hope he'd managed to find on the beach and through another sleepless night dwindle away.

"Gentlemen, his recovery is not going to be an easy thing," Weston replied with a frown. "His temperature is still high. It's hovering around 102 right now which is better than it was but the dehydration coupled with the infection, his other injuries and this blasted drug…well it's not a good combination. His body's been ravaged by this and he's doing all he can to come back."

"I know, Doctor. I just…"

"You just want the answers now. We all do. But we must wait. We're dealing with the unknown. Will, I'm going to go check on the last blood work for him, then check on a few of my other patients," Weston said turning to Jamieson. "I'll be back."

"Is he any good, Doc?" Lee asked quietly as he watched Weston hurry down the hall.

"He is. I've known Ben for several years. The admiral's in good hands."

"Can we sit with the admiral?" Chip asked.

"Yes, yes of course. I think I'm in need of some breakfast and lots of coffee. You two go in and I'll be back shortly."

Lee and Chip walked into the admiral's room and pulled up seats by the man's bed.

"He doesn't look any better than when he came in," Lee muttered miserably.

"I don't know. His right eye is less swollen, and the bruises are fading a bit."

"I guess that's true."

"I…uh, I'm going to go get some more coffee. I'll be back in a few minutes," he said wanting Lee to have some time alone with the admiral.

"Right."

Sitting by Nelson's side, Lee watched him, hoping there was some small sign the man heard him or knew he was there but there was nothing.

Frustrated he rose and walked to the window, gazing out over the hospital grounds, thinking of all that had transpired in just the last few weeks from the last cruise on Seaview and all that had happened on it to his ONI mission to the blasted argument to thinking his friend was dead to finding him alive and now this waiting.

Lost in his thoughts, he almost missed the slight moan from the bed behind him and hurried to Nelson's side.

"Admiral? Can you hear me?" he asked as watched Nelson's head toss restlessly on the pillow. Another long moan and Lee placed a comforting hand on his forehead.

"Admiral? It's Lee. I'm here."

Smiling, he watched as Nelson's one good eye slowly open and fixed on his face.

"Admiral! We've been waiting for you to wake up! I can't tell you how…how…Admiral? Can you hear me?" he asked when Nelson showed no sign he heard or saw him. "Admiral?"

The sound of the door opening drew his eyes reluctantly from Nelson and to Jamieson standing by the door a chart in his hand.

"Jamie, he's awake. Well, his good eye is open at least."

Jamieson walked quickly to Nelson's side and stared down. "Admiral? How are you feeling? You had us all pretty worried."

But Nelson's gaze never left Lee's face. Glancing up at the monitors, Jamie saw the admiral's vital signs increasing. "Harry? Can you look at me?"

Lee watched in sadness as Nelson's eye flickered then slowly slid closed again.

"Jamie? It was like he didn't even know who I was!"

"We don't know that."

"We don't? He looked right through me!"

"He's been through a lot."

"You keep saying that!"

"It's true. The fact he woke up and wasn't agitated is a good sign."

"He woke up?"

Both men turned to see Chip Morton with two cups of coffee in his hand.

"He did, Chip but he didn't seem to know who I was," Lee answered morosely.

"Skipper, he's exhausted. Don't go jumping to conclusions! We don't know how long he was lying out in that sun. That coupled with the dehydration and this drug is not a good combination. It plays havoc with his system both physically and mentally. We need to give it…we need to give him…time."

Lee Crane fought against the despair he felt at Nelson's condition. The fear that Nelson would never be the same again haunted him and he struggled against the rising waves of fear.

A gentle hand on his arm had him turning to Jamieson beside him, his face one of hope, not fear.

"Give him time. We are talking about Harriman Nelson, you know," he joked, a smile twitching at his lips.

A moment passed and after a quick glance to the man lying silent before him, returned the smile with a brief nod.

"We'll give him all the time he needs. And all the support," he added as he seated himself by Nelson's side, a quick glance to Jamieson informing the doctor he wasn't moving.