The room is silent all of a sudden, my breathing hitching in my throat as I read the word:

'Terminated'

Over and over again. After several minutes I get up from where I'm sitting unable to look at the computer anymore. My body is trembling and I am beyond confused... My father ordered a hit on my mother for if she "failed."? For as long as I could remember I've hated my father, even with my memory wiped that seemed to be the one thing that remained constant. I sigh silently as I stand up from where I'm sitting, I can't think about my father or my mother anymore. It just made me feel pure frustration, and there wasn't a thing I could do to fix it, they were dead, and it was too late. Instead I turn my attention to James, he is still in the kitchen, his body leaning against the counter top where he's making breakfast. At first glance everything seems normal, but when I take another step forward I realize something is off. He is frozen in place, his hands balled into tight little fists. He seems to be in a haze of some kind. He mumbles a number...

"32557038"

He mumbles the number over and over again... I may not have my memories, but I knew what that number meant... It was the same as the number on my pendant... the kind of number big organizations gave their members to make things easier to categorize. My number was provided by Hydra, but his number was provided via the army. When I read his file his number was the one is mumbling now. Was he remembering that this was his number? I wanted him to remember who he was, but this didn't seem like a memory... it seemed like something was hurting him. I take a deep breath before slowly making my way over to him. Usually people living with post traumatic stress disorder had triggers... but what was his? I don't want to get too close... I know that he's capable of hurting me, and that he could do it without meaning to.

"James?"

I whisper his name hoping that my voice will help center him. I want him to know that he is here in the now... and those things were apart of his past.

"James?"

I ask again when he doesn't open his eyes. I don't know what to do? What does one do when a person is suffering as he is. I take a step forward noting the sweat that began to form along his brow. I watch him unsure of what to do... My shaking hand reaches for his back. Slowly, my palm rests against his back which only seems to make him tense. He mutters the number again, but this time he sounds like he is pain... A faint whimper in his voice.

"Shh... James you're alright."

I whisper as the tenseness of his body only seems to grow more frigid. I move my hand from his back, and instead move around him, my hands reaching for his face. Placing my hands on either side of his face his eyes seem to close a bit tighter. Before I even have a chance to say a thing he turns to face me, his body moving at lightening speed. His metal arm around my neck within seconds. He lifts me off the ground, his gaze is locked with mine, but there is no recognition. He didn't know who I was in this moment...

"Bucky..."

I gasp as he lifts me by my neck and throws me down on the island counter top, the wind gets knocked out of me when he does this. I feel a bit dizzy as I lay there trying to think of what to do next. I put my hand over his metal one, and I try as hard as I can to pull him off of me, even though I know its pointless. I close my eyes trying hard to think, I used to be a person who could fight him, but now I didn't even remember how to.

"... Bucky please."

I beg as the room begins to get a bit fuzzy. Everything is drifting in and out of focus...

"James it's me Emilia. Please stop... you're here and you're okay. You don't need to fight me."

I sound a bit hostile, because the longer he has hand wrapped around my neck the less conscious I feel. I gasp as his gaze intensifies, my hand struggles to pull his off of me, but nothing works. I try harder to think about what to do next. If my hands can't release me from his grip, then maybe my legs can. I try to kick him with all my might, and while I manage to kick his right side. The base of my foot collides with his rip cage. He falters slightly, but all I manage to do is piss him off when I hit him. He seems to hiss when I kick him again, this time I kick harder than the last. His eyes narrow and he clenches his teeth, his grip on my throat eases for a moment as he lets go. He lifts himself onto the kitchen island counter, guiding his body to straddle mine. He glares down at me as he pins my feet beneath him, and moves his hand back to my throat. He slams my head against the counter top, pain flickering through my head, causing me to gasp. Immediately tears move to my eyes as I look up at him, the man I've come to care for, the man I had an unknown history with was going to hurt me if I didn't get through to him. Once again the room around me is starting to go in and out of focus. I lock eyes with him, and with the little strength I have left, I yell.

"James"

I shout in hopes that he'll stop if I shout. It seems to work because he freezes in place when he hears me. He blinks a few times before looking around the room, at first he doesn't move from me. He is trying to recall everything that just happened. He stares down at me and a look of horror flickers across his face as he lets go. I cough the second his hand moves from me, he puts his hands up, and runs them through his hair, as tears enter his eyes. When he sees how our bodies are positioned he quickly moves away. My throat burns and tears move down my face. I was so afraid that I hadn't even realized I was crying...

"Emilia... I'm-I'm sorry."

He states as he studies me, shaking his head in protest. He's angry with himself... so angry.

"shh..."

I whisper as I try to steady my breathing.

"... You're safe. Bucky it's okay, you warned me to stay away from you when you're having a moment, and I didn't listen."

He sighs as he shakes his head once more.

"Emilia... I'm so sorry."

He mumbles this as he looks at me. He is disoriented, and I can tell that he's frazzled from whatever he just felt. Whatever flashes of fear he'd experienced.

"Don't say your sorry James. It's okay."

Fighting through the tears and the pain, I try to give him a smile. I want to get up and hug him, but I can't, after a few attempts he helps me up. When I do sit up he wraps his arms around me pulling his body up against mine. I hug him as tightly as I can, my head against his bare chest, still feeling a weak from everything that had just happened. I groan as soreness seems to spread through me.

"You know... You've got quite the grip on you."

I say trying to make a little joke. I pull my head away from his chest, so I can look up at him. He doesn't laugh, but he does give me a small smile back.

"Please next time don't come near me... just let me have my moment. I really don't want to hurt you."

I nod.

"Hey, from what I remembered this morning I'm very fierce."

He nods leaning down to press his lips to mine. His lips go against mine softly, he is holding me like I'm a fragile vase. Like at any moment I could break underneath his touch. Which at this point is how I felt... I felt broken, and achy... everything hurt. How could anyone fight him and live? He was brutal, and that was just from his hand being around my throat...

"Yes.. You were, but until you remember how to fight like the old you... please just be careful."

With shaky hands I cup his face forcing him to look at me when he seems determined not to. I don't want him to be afraid of me, or himself. But I wasn't sure how to ease his troubles... He looks so lost and sad just standing there. His eyes hold trauma, his blue eyes as wide with fear as they were in my dream.

"James, it's okay. I'm fine, you're fine. You're going to be okay James... I promise."

He breathes a deep breath as he continues to hold me.

"When I first met you, you were so tough and nothing could hurt you. You knew how to take people down in a few simple moves, and now the new you is so delicate. If your old self could see you now she'd be livid."

I shrug my shoulders as he holds me.

"Is it strange that I'm alright with that? That I'm perfectly okay with being nothing like the person I was?"

He smiles.

"It's fine, just know that I want you to be whoever you want to be."

I hug him a little tighter and rest my head against his chest. My heart was still beating fast, my breathing finally going back to normal. He hugs me a bit tighter and I wince in pain.

"I'm so sorry."

He whispers as he bends down to pick me up, he carries me like a man carries a woman when they're just married. I wrap my arms around his shoulders as he carries me out of fear that he'll drop me.

"James you don't need to say sorry. It's not your fault."

I mumble this as I close my eyes, I felt dizzy. Did he give me a concussion? I felt like he'd knocked the wind out of me... when he lays me down his metal hand carefully lays my head against the pillow. He gives me an apologetic look before the look of horror he had before returns to his handsome face. He looks down at his left hand... on it is blood... my blood.

"Emilia... what did I do to you?"

He asks in confusion as I shrug my shoulders.

"You hit my head against the kitchen counter... talking about scrambling eggs."

I joke as his gaze turns stern.

"Emilia this is serious."

I sigh feeling a bit delirious.

"I know, but what are you going to do? We are in Russia, in the mountains. There are Hydra members after the both of us, and this is the only safe place. There aren't any doctors here. So unless you know how to fix me, I'm going to pass out..."

I mumble the last part of the sentence. I sound drunk, my words slurring as my eyes begin to feel even heavier. I look at him as my eyes begin to close, my focus on him growing fuzzier and fuzzier until I all I can see is darkness.