We pulled up to the white painted, blue roofed house I grew up in. Getting out of the car was the easy part.

I pushed the door open and felt the emptiness as soon as I stepped inside.

FLASHBACK

My mother stood behind me as I ran into my fathers waiting arms. She was watching me wanting to say something but she couldn't find the right words. I didn't know what was going to happen to us. I didn't know that this would be the night I lost everything. I was going to lose them but I didn't know it yet. It was probably better that I didn't.

END

Jacob stood leaning up aganst the table.

"Are you okay baby?"

I breathed out and tried to nodd my head.

I traveled upstairs and took the steps slowly, one at a time. With every step, I ached on the inside.

Jacob followed from a distance, giving me my space but be there if I needed him. I tried to smile through my tears as I reached the closed dorr to my parents bedroom.

I turned the knob but my fingers slipped.

The action of this was so hard for me but I tried to be brave for Jacob. He already seen me cry and I was pathetic,I couldn't do that again.

I had Jacob open the door for me and I found a little orange backpack laying on the bed. It was mine.

I walked over trying not to see the sad part of this.

My mom's hands. Her face, concentrating on what she had to do. The last time we would see each other. She knew she was going down soon. She was brave for me and I would be too- for Jacob.

"What's in it Kara?" Jacob asked. I wanted to see but I couldn't open it. The zipper stuck and my sweat coated hands dropped the black nylon.

"I can't do this Jake. I don't want to make this real."

"You don't have to Kara. But you're so close now. I know you got this."

he was encouraging me slowly and I followed my gut and zipped it back.

I gasped as it opened and I found clothes and a pair of my favorite, red sneakers. There was a necklace and a folded up peice of paper. The black netted pockets held a black water bottle and a braided piece of string.

" Jacob…" I did it."

He smiled and gave me a hug. "Good job Kara. Baby, I am so proud of you."

I needed his heat. We kissed and as his tounge entered and found mine, I felt better.

"Now what?"

"Let's take it slow. You can show Carlisle next time we go to therapy if you want." He zipped the backpack back up and flung it over his shoulder. "I'll hold onto it for you and one by one we'll figure out what's in here. We'll do it together. I know you need my help and that's what I;m here for."

"I thought you loved me." I said and Jacob heard the way my voice choked itself from the inside.

"No no no. I- I love-"

I cut him off and grabbed onto his arms.

"I want to leave now Jacob. I'm gonna start crying if I stay in here for much longer."

He nodded once and shut the door behind us as we drove down to the beach.