Disclaimer: I don't own anything; FFVII belongs to SquareEnix :)
Author's note: Hi everyone! This story is nearing the end, so if there's a particular memory you would like to see, feel free to request :)
Thank you so much for the support and reviews! Enjoy!
Chapter 14: Meeting You
"Cloud, it's lunch time."
Gently, I blew on the bowl of hot broth, a savory aroma floating in the air. Chicken soup. The best comfort food. Reminds me of Mother, of Nibelheim, of home...
I shook away the bitter thoughts and gazed at Cloud. His head was rolling around again. My heart tightened. I reached out, holding his head in place. His eyes stared forward, unseeing. The lively sea of blue swimming in his pupils was no longer there. His dry pale lips moved soundlessly as if he was fighting desperately to communicate with me. Oh, Cloud...Let me save you...
The warm afternoon sun reflected off his golden hair. Tentatively, I ran my fingers through his spikes. They weren't soft anymore. They were greasy with dirt. I frowned. Cloud...needs a shower. Immediately, my face heats up at the thought.
Silly Tifa! What's there to be embarrassed about?
You've never showered a man before.
Yes, well, he's sick.
Ask the nurse to do it!
But I promised to take care of him.
Then just do it!
That's right. I'll ask the nurse to do it.
Tifa Lockhart!
I squeezed my eyes shut, biting my bottom lip until I taste metal. All right. It's just a shower. My hands are getting sweaty. I don't...have to take his pants off. Right.
With newly found determination, I slipped Cloud's calloused hand into mine. Cold. Too cold.
"Come on, Cloud." I tried to give him my best smile even though his fogged-up eyes weren't looking at me. "Have some soup and then it's shower time!"
Fifteen minutes later, I found myself drenched in sweat in the steaming bathroom. With Cloud. In his wheelchair. I wiped my forehead, cheeks fuming. Hot water splattered from the shower head, down onto the tiled floor, heating up the room. Higher. And higher. And higher...
Come on, Tifa. Do it before both of you faint from the steam!
Okay, okay...
I lifted Cloud's arms up and pulled his sticky shirt over his head. It slipped off easily.
See, that wasn't so hard, was it?
My eyes dropped down to his now bare torso. His chest was flushed from the heat of the bathroom. Sweat shimmered on his collar bones, trickling down his well-toned abs...I blushed and looked away.
Damn it, Tifa, it's not like you've never seen him naked before.
Right, right...but never in a goddamn bathroom!
At this rate, it was very, very likely that the two of us would pass out. I sneered at the faucet. If only it wasn't broken! Then I wouldn't be sweating in the bathroom just because the hot and cold water couldn't be adjusted. It didn't help that there weren't any windows here. Maybe I should have just done this in the hot springs outside the village. I sighed. Too late for that now...
My eyes flickered back to Cloud...and his pants. Should I or should I not...
It wouldn't be your first time seeing him in his boxers.
(I wanted to scream at myself.)
Of course it wouldn't be my first time seeing him in boxers. The guys had very often changed out in the open. So yes, I've seen all of their boxers. But that doesn't mean I'm used to taking off their pants!
"...uh...aaa...urk..."
My eyes focused on Cloud as drops of sweat dripped down his head. Oh...
"Ugh," I spoke aloud in the bathroom, as if that would give me some courage, "let's get this over with."
I kneeled down, facing him. My fingers fumbled clumsily with the belt, loosening the metal clasp...then the button...then the zipper...all the while trying desperately to avoid a particular area...A familiar navy fabric peeked up at me. My cheeks burned. I took a deep, slow breath. Here goes nothing. In one swift motion, I pulled the pants down his thighs, over his knees, feet, and toes.
Oh, dear Gaia, I pray to you that Cloud would never remember any of this.
By the time we got out of the bathroom, it looked as if we had showered together (my cheeks flared). I got soapsuds in my sticky hair and sweat across my back. I glanced at Cloud. His head rolled forwards, water (or sweat?) dripping from his blonde spikes down onto the towel across his shoulders. He was still in his wet boxers (I'm hoping to push him outside to "enjoy" the sunshine in a bit), though I managed to pull on a t-shirt on him. His normally pale cheeks were flushed from the steam. It probably wasn't the most comfortable shower for him, but at least he's...clean.
Cloud awoke with a start. A chilly night breeze fluttered from the opened windows, calming him. White moonlight seeped through the curtains. He glanced sideways at the bed beside his; Denzel was sleeping soundly, a small smile curling at his lips. The blond wondered briefly what the boy was dreaming about.
Stretching, he caught sight of the alarm clock: 3:43AM. He'd been asleep for only three hours and already, Cloud felt his energy maximized. He rested his hands under his head, letting his thoughts wander back to his...dream. It was an awfully realistic dream. If it was even a dream at all.
Of course it was a dream. If it wasn't, I would have pulled my boxers off already. Except, I was a vegetable and Tifa was -
Tifa. Tifa. Tifa.
He shuddered as he recalled the event earlier in the day. His blood boiled just thinking about it. The woman was a fool for going out there. What was she thinking, standing right under the cliff? What would happen if the cornice really collapsed and came crashing down onto her? Did she want him to suffer the pain of losing her? Again?
As he clenched his fists, he made another promise to himself: never, ever would he let anything happen to Tifa. Never again.
Her feelings must have returned.
What?
Why else would she risk her life like that?
My Tifa...
Tifa. The big day was in less than a month. How was he to face that day? Should he talk to Tifa about it? Would she...want to call the wedding off? Oddly, the woman hadn't mentioned the wedding at all. Of course, Cloud didn't dare mention it to her. What if she said no?
But recent events had told him otherwise. Her feelings...definitely seemed to have returned somewhat, if not fully. Cloud smirked, Mako-blue eyes watching the silver full moon glowing in the dark night.
Maybe...it's time.
February flew by in a breeze like the bitter winter wind. Edge greeted the warmer air welcomely.
Business was quiet on a particular Sunday night. Patrons left early to prepare for the new workweek. Tables were cleared. Chairs were pushed in. Glasses were cleaned. The only two remaining in Seventh Heaven were the barmaid and the ex-AVALANCHE leader. Marlene and Denzel had gone to bed willingly. Cloud was out on a delivery at Kalm.
The delivery boy had promised to return by midnight. Ruby-eyes fluttered to the clock: 11:30PM. Still half an hour to go, Tifa caught herself thinking. Biting her bottom lip, she continued to dry the stack of plates in front of her. It was times like these that she wondered if her feelings for the spiky-headed blond had..."returned." Or was she falling in love with him all over again? Was there a difference? She was starting to drive herself crazy.
Sure, she missed having him around while he was away on deliveries. Well, okay, fine, maybe she did miss, miss him. A lot. It felt good to have company in the bar while she was working her butt off. The small I-know-you're-tired-just-hang-in-there glances. The small smiles of encouragement. The small squeeze of his hand. Having him around meant she could relax just a tiny bit more, without having to worry if a drunkard would cause trouble; without having to worry about closing the bar with only one percent of energy remaining; without having to worry whether the delivery boy was safe or not...
And the fact that the way he gave one of those soft smiles every day made her heart skip and pound inside her chest...The way he scratched his head sheepishly, cheeks flustered when their skin touched "accidentally" made her stomach turn...The way his aquamarine eyes bored into her very soul as if he could see everything, give her everything in the world...
And there was Hearts Day...She didn't think much of the "special" occasion until the man stepped into the bar that night, a bouquet of roses in his gloved hands. Her face blushed bright red like the flowers, heart hammering against her ears as the crowd in the bar cheered and whistled. In the corner of her eye, she thought she caught Yuffie's sly trademark smirk. Though the barmaid wasn't much of a flower-person, she unconsciously took great care of the roses, remembering to change water everyday, clipping off drying leaves, smelling the flowers whenever she walked past...
And then there were the promises made each day. Not big promises like the one shared under the Nibel starry sky, but small-sweet-pinky-promise ones...like promising to bring back a carton of eggplants and pumpkins from Junon...like promising to call if he was ever late...like promising to be back by midnight...
The large gunman sat in silence by the bar counter, carefully observing the bartender drying the last of the dishes with a cotton rag. It was a typical scene, if only the barmaid hadn't been drying the same plate for the past fifteen minutes, eyes unseeing the task at hand.
"Oi, Tifa," Barret's hoarse voice finally broke, "penny for yur thoughts?"
He raised his eyebrows as the barmaid's eyes widened in surprise. When had the man been so good at reading her?
Tifa smiled softly. "What?"
"C'mon," the man grunted impatiently, "I know somethin's botherin' yeh. Yeh been so quiet-too quiet. And if I don' stop ya, yeh'll be wipin' tha' same thing for the whole damn night!"
A giggle let loose from Tifa's lips as she placed the plate onto the rack. "Oh, Barret..."
"So?" The man perked a brow. "Wha's wrong?"
Hands reaching for a new plate to dry, Tifa remained silent, eyes downcast.
Barret huffed irritatedly. "Is it Spike?"
The delicate fingers stopped. Emotions out of no where came pouring into her heart, pumping her blood, warming her soul.
Her lips opened and closed several times, as if organizing her thoughts, considering the words on her tongue. "I...I don't know."
"Huh?"
She inhaled lightly. "Back then...when I heard Cloud went missing...there was...a moment where I think I remembered something..."
"Eh?"
Tifa closed her eyes and took a deep shuddering breath before resuming. "What I mean is...I think I remember how I got injured...how I came to lose my memories."
Barret whistled. "So yur feelings are back?"
Picking a spot at the towel in her hands, TIfa murmured, "I...don't know."
"Geez, Tifa, why are yeh so scared of takin' tha' extra step?"
I don't know.
"It's not like yeh dunno spiky likes yeh or not," wine-colored eyes flickered to the brown ones hesitantly, "well, of coz he does!"
When Tifa didn't answer, the older man continued. "Look, the two o' you gone through so much t'gether...Yeh're not givin' up now, are ya?"
Her heart clenched. "I...I don't know..."
"Whaddya mean ya dunno?!" Barret exclaimed. "Yeh two are 'bout ta get married!"
Oh, finally, the wedding...
Her eyes flashed to the rear end of the bar. A large frame rewrapped in tissue paper hid in the shadows, unbeknown to anyone dropping by the bar. A thin layer of dust covered the object, no one certain of its fate. Tifa bit her lips. For some time now, she'd been wondering (and waiting) when someone-anyone-would ever mention the subject (again). Everyone had been avoiding it. Or at least, it seemed like it. Yuffie (and Vincent) had evaded the topic like plague, unsure of Tifa's reactions. The kids were...kids. Barret was never one to discuss romances with Tifa. And Cloud...ever since the ruby ring incident, he hadn't made any approaches regarding the topic...
"Tifa?" Barret's voice rang clear in the silence.
The woman blinked several times, a questioning look on her face.
"Do yeh want or not want ta spend the rest o' yur life with Spike?"
Tifa swallowed a lump in her throat.
"I..."
"...I was devastated... ...I wanted to be noticed... ...if I got strong I could get someone to notice..."
"Someone to notice you...? ...Who?"
"You..."
Ba-bump. "... ...Me? Why!?"
What? How? Why? Did he...that can't be...?
Oh Cloud, the young boy with the blond ponytail and spiky hair...Had he always worn such a painful expression on his soft features? Why did I never notice it back then? His blue envious eyes scanning, observing, yearning for attention...my attention. My heart cringed bitterly. Had he always been hiding? No, he wasn't hiding...It was me. My eyes rarely saw him. I was too caught up with my own issues. How could I ignore him? Why did I ignore him? How could I push him to the edge, leading him to such a rebellious childhood? It was my fault. If only I...I'm so sorry, Cloud.
"If I had only remembered more clearly what happened, I could have done something sooner..."
I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around him, give him the warmth he never got as a child. I wanted to kiss away the pain swimming in his eyes, lurking behind his lips, overshadowing his beautiful face. The young boy in front of me who look so lost and so young and so old and so...rejected...This boy who had gone through the innocence of childhood like a burdened man hidden in the dark. I bit my lips.
"It's not your fault, Tifa." His voice was soft with sincereness.
My hands rolled into fists. I'd much rather he blamed me... ...
The reactor. Jenova's chamber. Zack. Sephiroth.
"I saw...everything..."
He was there. He was there! He came for me! My hero. Why for the sake of Gaia did I not remember all of this back then? It was him. Cloud. Cloud was there. He was really there. And he saved me. Twice he's saved me and I didn't remember anything at all! Why? He's been watching over me all along. He kept his promise. He was anything but weak!
Oh, Cloud, what could I do to ever make it up to you? It's as if all the good, courageous things you've ever done for me are forgotten, erased from my heart. And yet, you're blaming yourself for not getting there on time! You were always on time. You've continued to save me...even now on this journey.
It's my turn to save you this time...
"Oh, Cloud...! It's really you, isn't it?" I reached out, my fingers on his warm skin. It's really him. Cloud. He's back.
"Yeah...Tifa... ...We finally...meet again... ..."
Finally. My real Cloud.
... ...Wine-colored eyes snapped open under the silver moonlight. A single lone tear trickled down her face and onto the pillow.
"Cloud..."