Here's another exciting chapter of Captain Falcon's Lady Quest. Hope you guys enjoy.
"We tried our best." Wii Fit Trainer was attempting to console Captain Falcon. However, Falcon was unresponsive. "Well, I enjoyed partnering up with you for the tournament. It was fun. Maybe we can team up again sometime." She left the man alone to tend to his own thoughts.
"Looks like the lucky drawers didn't help," Roy noted as he saw Falcon finally exit out of the arena. "I stayed up all night hand washing them too. Alright so what did Pikachu make you do?"
"How did you know I made a bet with Pikachu?" Captain Falcon asked. "Maybe I was man enough to resist the temptation."
"Every pair Pikachu has fought has bet with him and lost. I don't see how you can be any different. Besides, I doubt you are smart enough to keep yourself from betting with Pikachu."
"Ok, you got me," Falcon admitted. "I thought I was going to win and get a double date with Palutena and Rosalina, but instead I lost and now I have to help Peach prepare for her annual ball in a week."
"Sucks to suck," Roy replied. "Seeing as you have been now eliminated from the tournament, it looks like it is time for you to get me those panties."
Captain Falcon face palmed. He had forgotten that he also had to get a pair of Wii Fit Trainer's panties. "Well, I can't exactly walk up to her and ask her for her underwear." He shook his head. "If I mess up, I'm ruining the only halfway decent relationship I have with a female in the mansion."
"That's not true. There is always Villager-chan." Roy pointed to the female villager. Captain Falcon took a quick glance at the woman, only to flinch back once she blew a kiss at him. "Don't worry, I will gather up a team to help you get the panties."
"Wait a second, if you could just gather a team to get you panties whenever you wanted, then why do you need me?" Captain Falcon questioned the swordsman.
"Simple, I need someone willing to risk their life and reputation to actually try and steal the underwear. There really isn't anyone here willing to be the fall guy if he is caught." Roy laughed. "Let's go to my room and begin working out the details. I've already started to gather some intel."
"I'm confused, why is he here?" Captain Falcon pointed to Steve, who was lounging on the couch. Roy had brought Captain Falcon in order to show him the team he had assembled. Aside from the tactician, Ness and Sonic were also in Roy's room currently playing videogames. "I thought he is gay. Why is he helping you steal Wii Fit Trainer's panties?"
"I'm here because I owe Roy for hooking me up with Shulk," said Steve. "Not only that, this will also be a good way for me to work on my skills as a tactician."
"You are trying to tell me that helping someone steal female lingerie will help you in war?" Falcon skeptically asked.
Steve nodded. "Absolutely. For example, let's just say I needed to figure out a way to steal valuable treasure from a fort that I'm attacking. I can apply what I learn here to the situation. If you fail horribly, I now know what not to do. If this actually succeeds, than I can apply it back home. Either way works for me."
"That actually makes sense in its own weird way." Captain Falcon now pointed to Ness. "What is he here for then? Isn't he a little young for this?"
Roy smiled. "I see you have met my young protégé. In order to teach Ness how to be man, I thought I'd let him get some firsthand experience." He waved for the young boy to come over. "Ness, how did it go with Rosalina today?"
"Great. She gave me a kiss on the cheek today"
Captain Falcon was stunned speechless. How did the little kid get a kiss from one of the female fighters before he did? He grabbed Ness by the neck and held him against the wall. "How did you do it kid?" He slammed Ness against the wall for more emphasis. "Teach me your magic!"
"That's enough Falcon." Roy pulled Captain Falcon away from the kid. Ness quickly retreated back to Sonic who was still playing videogames in the background. "Ness is able to take advantage of his boyish charms in order to get little kisses and hugs from all of the women here. Of course he won't be looking for any type of serious relationship anytime soon seeing as he is still a boy, but he is willing to learn. Given a few more years and he'll be a stud, putting the moves on plenty of girls his age. Now, I want you to apologize to Ness." Captain Falcon muttered a quick apology to the boy. "Ok, good enough."
"Can we get to the plan?" Captain Falcon was getting a little annoyed.
"Alright. I was planning on waiting for the last member of the team to get here, but I guess I'll start with the plan. Everyone gather around." All of the fighters huddled around Roy as he pulled out a map from his pocket. "Ok, so there isn't a whole of data to go on with the whole doubles tournament has taken up most of everyone's time. From what Sonic has gathered, Wii Fit Trainer spends most of her time in the gym working out. That is good news for us since the gym is quite far from the female wing. Now the problem is security. Master Hand is a bit old fashioned and all the rooms are opened with normal keys. There is no way to make a duplicate and Master Hand will only give another key to the original fighter if the fighter loses the key.
"So we are going to have to steal it?" Falcon asked.
"Correct. I'll get to that part a little later though. The next issue is that when a fighter isn't in their room and someone enters it, there will be an immediate alert to that fighter that there is an intruder. Not only that, the intruder's identity is also revealed to the fighter as well."
"Great, so even if I successfully get into her room and steal the panties, she'll know that it was me?" Falcon asked. "Well, I'm not going to risk my ass to do that."
"And you won't have to." Roy was interrupted by a tap on his door. "Oh good, he better be here."" Roy walked over and opened the door. "Your late. Get your buns over here!" Roy walked back in dragging King Dedede along with him. "Captain Falcon, meet the last addition to the team."
"King Dedede? Are you serious?" Captain Falcon exclaimed. "I'm starting to really worry here."
"Don't be a little bitch Falcon, we got this." Roy began to speak again. "Now that everyone is here, I can tell everyone my spectacular plan."
"You mean my plan," Steve interrupted. "I came up with this whole thing."
"Whatever. Here is the plan. We are going to do this two days from now. It gives us some time to prepare in case something new comes up and it avoids Movie Night. First of all, Steve will go the gym early in the morning and work out with Wii Fit Trainer. During this time, he'll act as a spotter and feel up Wii Fit Trainer to find her key. Although she'll be suspicious, since Steve is gay, I don't think anything bad should happen."
"Why can't I do it?" asked Falcon.
"You'll get beat up by her brother if you try," Steve replied. "I'm the only one who can do this. Ness is just a kid so there is no reason for him to be in the gym, much less ask to spot for Wii Fit Trainer. Roy's reputation isn't that much better than yours, so he is also out of the question. Sonic can't do it because he just doesn't want to. Finally, look at King Dedede. Is there any reason for a fatty like him to be at the gym?"
"Guess not," muttered Falcon. "So what happens next?"
"Well, Steve will tell Ness where she keeps her key. Later in the afternoon, King Dedede and I will stage an argument regarding tacos and burritos. Outraged that I prefer tacos, King Dedede will challenge me to a dance-off. At which point Sonic who will just happen to be conveniently there will dash around and tell everyone of the impending dance-off."
"Wait a second." Captain Falcon pointed at King Dedede. "You are trying to tell me that chubby-cheeks over here can dance?"
King Dedede held his hand up. He slowly lumbered his way towards Captain Falcon. As he approached the racer, he reached into his robes and began dumping out gold medal after gold medal onto the floor. Captain Falcon merely stared at the king as he continued to dump medals on the floor. As King Dedede dropped his last medal on the floor, he began to speak. "You see all these gold medals on the ground? That's right. I'm Dreamland's 23-time dance-off champion. Do you know why Metaknight wears his mask?" Captain Falcon shook his head. "I'll tell you why. He wears the mask to hide his shame of losing to me every time. Now, can you guys help me pick up my medals? It is hard to bend down when you are as fat as I am."
"Before you ask me about my dancing skills, just think about how I have seven wives." Roy said to Captain Falcon as they helped King Dedede pick up his dance medals. "Anyway, back to the plan. Once all of the fighters come down to see the dance off, Ness will use this time to pickpocket Wii Fit Trainer and steal her key."
"How can you guarantee Wii Fit Trainer's presence?" asked Captain Falcon. "And can we really trust Ness to steal the key?"
"Wii Fit Trainer will be there because you know how important dance-offs are in the mansion," Roy replied. "Ike is also always at the gym and I know he'll tell both Wii Fit Trainers why dance-offs are such a big deal. Do you remember the great Dance-Off of '13?" Captain Falcon shook his head. "Oh right, I forgot. You tried to feel up Samus during the dance and got knocked out cold. Well anyway, every fighter was there participating or watching the dance-off. There is no way Wii Fit Trainer won't be there. As for Ness's abilities, I'd suggest you check your pockets." At those words, Captain Falcon began to frantically search his pockets. His wallet was missing! Captain Falcon looked at Ness who tossed him back his wallet. As Captain Falcon put his wallet back in his pocket and glared at the boy, Roy said, "He will be fine. Now comes the difficult part. During the dance-off, Steve will attempt to grind on Shulk. Sonic will be the big tattle-tale like he always is and run down to Master Hand. Master Hand will be furious that such a lewd act will be taking place and will charge down to the dance and stop it. During this time, Sonic will rush into Master Hand's master suite where he has his security and turn off all the alarms. At this point, Ness will give you the key to Wii Fit Trainer's Room. You will probably only have three minutes to grab a pair of her underwear and get out. This should be plenty of time, but knowing you, I can't be sure. Any questions?"
Sonic raised his hand. "Just to be clear, I am getting three chili-dogs as compensation for my part in this mission right?"
"Yes, I'll have your chili-dogs ready."
Captain Falcon now raised his hand. "You are sure about all the security details and stuff right?"
Roy nodded his head. "Of course, Snake did extensive research on everything when he was still in the mansion. I trust all the information that he had gathered in his time. Are there any more questions?" Everyone nodded. "Good, I have the layout of Wii Fit Trainer's room, I think you and I need to take a look. Roy and Captain Falcon began to look over the layout while everyone else went back to playing videogames.
Villager-chan smiled as she finished recording the conversation. "They'll never know," she giggled. She bounced her way to Olimar's room and knocked on the door. "Hi, Olimar," she greeted as the little astronaut opened the door.
"That is Captain Olimar to you," he snapped."Now, what do you need? I'm watching My Little Pony right now and I'd prefer to do it with as little interruptions as possible." Villager-chan pulled out her tape recorder and began to play it. As Olimar listened to Falcon and Roy's conversation, he gasped. "They want to steal my goddess's panties? Over my dead body!" He hugged Villager-chan. "Thank you. If I stop Falcon and Roy from stealing her underwear, she'll thank me and then I'll have a girlfriend! Give me the tape recorder as evidence." Villager-chan handed him the recorder. "Fantastic, now I'm off."
Villager-chan rubbed her hands together maniacally as she watched Olimar run off. "Everything is going according to plan. Soon, Captain Falcon will have pissed off the Wii Fit Trainer to the point of no return. I'll be the only one left who'll accept him and he'll be forced to be my boyfriend!" Villager-chan squealed in delight.
As Captain Olimar dashed towards the gym, he suddenly had a realization. "Wait a second, I can't just tell her about Falcon. I can use the information on the tape to steal her panties myself! Then, I'll frame Captain Falcon. It'll be a win-win situation for everyone." He turned around and began to walk towards Little Mac's room. He had a plan to figure out and he was going to need some muscle.
I'm going to be a bit busy for the next two weeks so I'm not sure when the next update will be.