Enjoy. :)
OMG! I don't know if any of you noticed...but I didn't notice until just now...maybe none of you read this before until right now, but in the bottom of this story, all the way where the author's note was, I put a thing talking about a proposal...well it was a proposal, like for a wedding, but it wasn't for this story, it was for my other story called 'Foundations', so let's just pretend you never saw it if by some miracle you did see it...ok. so yea. Just wanted to let you know, because I was checking this chapter and I noticed that there was the glimpse that I had saved on the same file on my microsoft. The glimpse was for my other story, and I had written it in this file and forgot to delete it. That's why I deleted this chapter after adding it, and posted it up again with this long ass author's note.
So if any of you were able to see that part...can you tell me? lol. please and thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
"I'm going to miss you so much Bella." Alice whispered in her ear, as she held Bella with all the might of her skinny little arms. Alice sniffled as she wiped a couple tears while letting Bella go. "You promise you'll visit?"
"Maybe you can visit…" Bella suggested, wiping one of Alice's tears. Her pale face was flushed, as she let a small, sad smile play on her lips. "My room needs redecorating."
Alice let a sob out in the form of a laugh. "I'm really going to miss you Bella." Alice whispered. Bella blinked a couple times, before wrapping her arms securely around Alice.
"You're like my sister." Alice said suddenly. Bella nodded.
"Always." Bella whispered back, before being taken into Esme's arms. They hugged for a while, Esme whispering sweet things in Bella's ear, and saying how great she's been doing. All the while I just stood there, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed.
"Carlisle." Bella said, before he gave her a warm hug. She hugged him back, gave him a kiss on the cheek and turned to face Jasper. He watched for a moment before finally giving in and running to wrap his long arms around her. She smiled as she hugged him back.
"When Alice and I have a kid….we're naming her Bella." Jasper whispered. Bella looked up at him, her eyes shining, almost for a moment, before she buried her head in his chest once more. He patted her in the back, planted a kiss on her forehead and let her go to walk to Alice. Alice and Jasper stood next to me, watching as Bella finally turned to Emmett who attacked her in a hug.
I could see from the corner of my eye as Alice cried. Emmett hugged Bella close. His huge, muscled arms enveloped her like if he was trying to protect her. He kissed her forehead as well.
"This is the first time I've cried since Ronald Lopez stole my ice cream bar in third grade." He admitted as a couple tears left his eyes too. Bella laughed, as a tear escaped her eyes. She reached up wiping Emmett's tears.
"I love you Em." She said. He smiled before wrapping his arms around her again. He finally let her go, slowly letting his hand slip from hers before joining us in the porch. Bella turned to meet Rosalie's gaze. They haven't been talking since the hospital and we were all anticipating this farewell.
They stood there staring at each other….until Rose finally broke into a sob and ran into Bella's arms. Bella sobbed too, wrapping her arms around Rose. They sobbed, as Rose repeated that she was sorry over and over again.
"I'm sorry Bella, so sorry. I love you so much. You're like my sister." Rose said. Bella sobbed as well.
"It's ok Rose." Bella sniffled. It was the first time she's shown any emotion in the past three weeks.
"I'm going to miss you." Rose said. Bella nodded before letting her go.
I stood there motionless…numb. Bella smiled slightly at me before walking to stand right in front of me. I looked down at her, her eyes watered with tears, and her cheeks finally red. I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arms around her.
I didn't know what I was going to do with myself while Bella wasn't here. I didn't know what I was going to do without seeing her smiling face every day. I just didn't know. I couldn't imagine it. Not without Bella.
"Edward…" I heard her whisper. I pulled away from the crook of her neck where my face had been hiding. I had been wanting to remember her smell. She looked up at me biting her lip, before she closed her eyes and reached up on her toes, her lips pressing to mine.
I felt the shock against my lips at first, and I was frozen, my eyes wide as I watched her kiss me. Then I started becoming coherent again, and I closed my eyes savoring the moment, as I heard the couple gasps. I loved the way her lips just fit on mine, shaping themselves…molding themselves on my own. I loved the shock that would pass through our bodies, and I loved the way my insides turned to mush and my stomach felt like a million butterflies were stuffed in. But most importantly, I loved the way one of my hands would go the back of her head, losing themselves in her brown waves of hair, and the way my other hand would go to her lovely face. I sighed in contentment as she finally pulled away.
She suddenly pressed her lips to my cheek before pressing to my ear and whispering, "I love you, forever." She pecked me one more time before running back to the car.
Derek sat there, looking at me with pained eyes, yet knowing…because he knew. I just stood there, amazed at what had just happened.
She had really just kissed me. That was real……maybe she did really love me…..
My attention finally snapped back to reality as I watched the car start to back out of the driveway, Bella waving at us sadly. Her eyes met mine for a brief moment….but that was all I needed, because in that brief instant, she showed me the emotion that I had wanted to see for these past four weeks…..love.
I smiled sadly to myself as I waved back at the disappearing car, my heart thudding in my ears. It was a strange feeling. Like if there really was a hole in my chest.
I was numb though, my arms falling to my side as I walked up back through the doors, the family staring behind me. I was almost expecting her to come back, since the moment was still so surreal. I was hoping, praying that she would drive back and say, "Kidding", but that just wasn't going to happen.
I walked back up the stairs to my room.
I knew I had to let her go. It was inevitable. I would not give up, but right now, she didn't need me in her life screwing everything up. But as she kissed me, and told me she loved me….the way she looked at me….I replayed it all in my head. It was my only hope that she really did love me. So I would go back to her. I wouldn't lose her. If I couldn't have her the way I wanted, than maybe I would have her as a friend. I sighed running my hand through my hair.
I still felt guilty for everything I said to her, and made her do. Everything I said led to this. It all led to our separation, but maybe separating is for the best. Maybe…just maybe she could realize exactly how much she loves me….or hates me.
But part of me felt stupid for actually letting her walk out of the door. I could have stopped her…. But I had to let her go. At least for now. Ah, but if I would have stopped her….what would have happened if I had stopped her? Would she had run into my arms? No. Because she just lost a baby, there isn't any time for thinking of romance when there is so much more to think about.
My memories started going back to all the good times with Bella.
-:-
Flash Back:
Edward 12 and Bella, 11 years old.
"Edward, I don't want to go in there!" Bella hissed as I tried to push her into the haunted maze. Her cheeks blazed under the white make up caked on her face. She was dressed as a vampire, and I was too.
"Bella, what are you scared of?" I asked. Her eyes shifted from me to the maze, as another piercing scream broke through, ringing in our ears, and making mysterious steam in the entrance even darker.
"Edward, listen to the screams….I don't want to go in there." She whined. I shook my head. Of course she'd be scared…it's Bella.
"There is nothing to be scared of." I said. She shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No Edward. I heard there are some werewolves in there…and the boogie man….and a whole bunch of other such like big foot." She pouted. I smiled slightly, grabbing her shoulders, and bending down a bit to be at perfect eye level with her.
"I will fight off a hundred werewolves for you…."
She looked at me, her eyes sparkling for a moment.
"Pinky swear?" She asked putting her pinky out. I hooked my pinky with her small one.
"Pinky swear."
End Flash Back.
-:-
I laughed at the memory. Then there was that one time…..
-:-
Flash Back:
Edward 16 and Bella 15 years old.
"Bella you have to wear something more revealing than just that." I could hear Alice's voice from the other side of the door.
"Dude, she's so putting a push up bra on Bella." Emmett laughed as he pressed his ear closer to the door. If he pressed it any further, there would be a hole on there.
"Bella would never wear that." I contradicted. Emmett snorted, taking his ear off the door, to look at me. I followed suit, and took my face away from the door as well. He looked at me in disbelief.
"I don't know if you've noticed Eddie…but Bella isn't a little girl anymore…she's one hot chick….and I hate to say this about her, because she's like a sister to me, and I'll kill you if you repeat this, but…." He shook his head, before looking at me again. "Anyone would do her, give her a year or two, and watch…even I would probably do her."
I looked at him shocked, my mouth hanging open.
"Emmett!" I hissed. He looked at me innocently.
"What?! I hate to say it, but you know its true Edward! You can't treat her like a little girl forever!" He defended.
"Oh, but you can?" I challenged.
"Yes! I'm her older brother." He said.
"Yea, older brother who wants to molest her!" I snapped. Emmett shrugged, with a 'Can you blame me?' look. I shook my head. I really couldn't blame him…as much as I hated to admit it. He was right…and he's seventeen, with a seventeen year old boy's mind. It's bound to happen. I sighed running a hand through my hair.
"It's all good though Eddie…I don't want her that way…I'm just saying…" Emmett said. Before he could finish, the door flew open, and there stood Bella, looking at us confused with Alice behind. Alice had made her wear a push up bra, and I had to stop the urge to gasp. Holy crap. I could see Emmett's gaze go down to her chest, and practically fly out of his sockets as he stared at her. The deep V-neck spaghetti strap did nothing to hide her. I gasped as I looked at Emmett. Pig! I wrapped my arm around Bella, hiding her into my side as she blushed, looking up at me with confused eyes.
I yanked my jacket off of me and put it on Bella's shoulders before wrapping my arms around her once more. I turned to look at Emmett.
"Perv." I yelled before walking with Bella down the stairs. I looked at her. "You're not allowed to dress like that ever again." I said jokingly, but seriously.
She just laughed.
End Flash Back.
-:-
I shivered. That day was really awkward and I don't think I'd ever like to go through something like that again. Suddenly I remembered another memory…a sweet one that I can't believe I had even forgotten.
-:-
Flash Back:
Edward 15 and Bella 14
I looked at the couple making out once more. I felt Bella shift uncomfortably beside me. Of course this would make her uncomfortable. Who wouldn't? Every time we came there was a couple making out here. They were everywhere. The mall was no longer meant for shopping, it was now made for tongue hockey. I shivered as I looked at Bella.
"How do they even share saliva like that?" She asked looking back at the couple. I smirked.
"I see Em and Rose going at it all the time Bella. It's not that big of a deal. We're fifteen." I reminded her. She looked up at me, her arms over her chest.
"No Edward, you're fifteen, I'm still fourteen, and I fail to see how they can even share their tongues like that. It's physically impossible." She said, glancing back at the couple. I shrugged. I could hardly find the age difference as an excuse. She was only a couple months younger than me, and we were in the same grade.
"Not really." I said. She glared at me. "Bella, it's just a kiss. It's no big deal."
"Yes it is. It's public." She argued.
"Oh, and your first kiss was in a closet or something?" I asked sarcastically. "Face it Bella, there was probably someone to witness your first kiss." I said, almost sure. She blushed, and looked back down at the floor. I blinked a couple times before I finally understood.
"You haven't had your first kiss?" I asked, with disbelief.
"Yeah, well I'm not just going to kiss random guys Edward." She snapped before walking away from me. I followed after her. "I'm sure you had the most perfect kiss ever, but I haven't ok?"
"Bella…" I said stopping her by grabbing her arm. She turned to face me, anger in her eyes, and her cheeks bright red. "I haven't had my first kiss either." I admitted as I looked down at her. She was so short and petite.
She gaped at me, shocked. "You haven't?" She asked. I shook my head with a nervous chuckle at my pathetic confession. "Really?"
"Really." I assured. She looked down, her mouth forming an 'O'.
"Don't you just want to know what it feels like?" She finally asked after a couple minutes of silence. I nodded.
"Of course." I said. "What about you?"
"I don't want it to be with just any boy. A first kiss is special…I want it to be with someone that matters……" She said looking down, her cheeks red once again. I put a strand of hair back behind her ear.
"But do you want to know what it feels like?" I asked again. She nodded.
"Who doesn't?" She asked. I chuckled. An idea suddenly popped in my head.
"Alright, promise me something." I said. She nodded. "When you get your first kiss, you have to tell me……and you have to tell me if it was good, or if the loser tried to stick his tongue down your throat so that I could beat him up." I smirked. Bella laughed before she agreed. She put her hand out to mine.
"Deal."
End Flash Back.
-:-
She did come and tell me when she had her first kiss. It was some guy named Mike or something like that. She said he did try to stick his tongue down her throat…and my fist did go into his face. I smiled to myself as another memory quickly filled my mind.
-:-
Flash Back.
Edward 17 and Bella 16
"Edward!" Bella yelled from behind me. I turned around, stopping my skate board as the rest of my buddies stopped riding too. They all smirked as Bella came running towards me.
"Here she comes." Benjamin said. His brown eyes following her every movement as she almost tripped. I chuckled to myself.
"No way dude, she hasn't full out tripped yet." Said Vladimir, while picking his skateboard up.
"For real bro." Stefan agreed as he continued attaching the new rubber wheels to his skateboard.
"Damn…she wore a skirt today." Garret muttered. I turned around to glare at him as I held my skateboard up by the truck. You see, it was always funny when Bella wore a skirt, since she wasn't your typical girly girl, so when she did happen to wear one, they would count the moments until she would trip or have some sort of bad luck, like maybe the skirt rising up her thighs, or falling, ripping right off maybe…anything like that was probably usual for her.
Bella finally got a few steps closer before collapsing, or should I say, jumping me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and her legs around my waist.
I felt as the air left my lips in a gasp. I felt my stomach tighten for some reason, as my throat became suddenly dry butterflies invading my lower area. I chuckled wrapping my own arms around her waist.
"Hello to you too." I chuckled. She dropped her legs from around me in an instant, her arms leaving from my neck, so that her hands could push her denim, mini skirt back down.
"Pay up." I heard Garrett as Vladimir, grudgingly gave up twenty bucks. I don't even want to know what they were betting on about. Bella smiled as her cheeks turned that oh so famous pink. Her eyes got suddenly excited.
"Edward guess what!" She said her voice full of enthusiasm.
"What?" I asked with a chuckle.
"I didn't pass out when I did my presentation of Romeo and Juliet today!" She said hugging me once more. I laughed and hugged her back, remembering all the practices I had to have with her.
"That's great Bells!" I said. She pulled away, her strawberry scent lingering on the tip of my tongue.
"Yeah, well I couldn't have done it without you!" She said happily. I smiled.
"Well since you owe me…..how about you be a good best friend and ride along with us." I suggested slyly. Bella groaned before finally giving in after I gave her my pout.
"Fine, but you better hold me." She warned pointing her finger at my nose. I smiled, and agreed as she stepped up on the skateboard. I looked down at her shoes….converse. Leave it to Bella to wear a nice outfit with beat up converse….it fitted her though.
I smiled as I put my hands on her waist, and she placed her hands on my shoulder. She reached up to my chin now that she was on the board, and I was on the ground. She looked up at me, and I looked back at her encouragingly, as I started to push her. She looked down at her feet worriedly as I kept on pushing her.
"Hey she's actually doing it." Benjamin said.
"Come on guys." Stefan said as they all suddenly started riding. I could see them getting closer to us, and Bella sunk her fingers into my shoulder.
"I don't like this…" She said. I laughed.
"You'll be fine." I promised.
"Yeah right…Watch me go and fa-" It was too late though, Garrett had gotten too close and Bella had jumped right off the skateboard falling forward right on me, to which I fell on the ground.
"Oh my god Bella I am so sorry!" Garrett said as he hurried over to us. "Aw man! Are you guys ok?" He asked. I looked up to see Bella laughing as she moved off of me to land on her back, right next to me. She was laughing so hard that she was actually snorting. It was so funny and adorable to watch.
"I'm sorry." She gasped between laughs. "It's just the luck that I have."
I couldn't help but laugh along with her. And just like that we spent the rest of the day laughing and arguing about 'Wuthering Heights' and 'Romeo and Juliet'
End Flash Back.
-:-
Those were fun times, and now that I think of all of this, and how we used to be, I regret letting her leave today even more. I could have stopped her from leaving. I could have done something.
Either way, there was no turning back now, and as I thought about it, Bella made the happiest days of my life. Even after all the shit that we went through she was able to make me the happiest man ever when she came back three weeks ago.
I wanted her to try and clear her head by now. I wanted her to do what she had to do. I wanted her to be happy for once. I have been selfish. She has made everything so much better for me, and I just hurt her in return.
Now it's her time. She could do whatever she wants as long as she's happy. I wouldn't give up though, not unless it's hurting her….but for now, she just has to be happy.
I quickly grabbed my phone searching for her number and clicking on text, my fingers working over the words like magic as I typed a message to her.
Be happy...you could be happy.
Well, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed it, and maybe it wasn't as depressing as the last ones have been. I'll try to make it happy as soon as possible, but let's face it….it's not a happy moment right now. Lol.
Like usual, read the lyrics it's PART OF THE STORY!
You could be happy by Snow Patrol lyrics:
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world