Chapter 14:Role reversals

Now that Emmy was back at the palace and it was the last day of their summer holidays, she took a more leisurely pace as she led Whisper back to the pages' stable. The pace would pick up soon enough when training starts. She all but groaned when she realised that they would have to start wearing weighted harnesses again. For all she understood the purpose of those cursed things, she couldn't bring herself to like it or look forward to it. Only Vania would.

When she was almost at the stables, she found a boy holding the reins of a dark brown horse, looking a little lost as he considered two different ways.

"Hello? Can I help you?" Emmy said as she got near.

The boy's gelding huffed, and eyed her warily. The boy turned — and Emmy realised that it was a girl. The girl was just a few inches shorter than Emmy's five feet, and wearing well-made tunic and breeches. Her dark brown hair was messily cropped short to her ears, as if she had done it herself, and without a mirror. Her face was unmistakably feminine, with elegant cheekbones, a sharp chin, and large lively brown eyes. She was beautiful, even with her messy hair.

"I'm looking for the stable master," she said with a slight northern accent, "I want to find a place for Rebel here."

Emmy felt her lips quirk. "Rebel? Can I say hello?"

The other girl smiled and gestured with a bow, like a gentleman introducing a lady. Emmy let go of Whisper's reins — they worked well enough on the road that Emmy trusted the mare not to run away without reason — and tentatively reached out to the dark brown beauty. Gently, she touched its face, and blew into its nose. After a moment, Rebel huffed back at her, and she smiled, stroking its face. "You're a beauty and you know it, don't you?"

"He does," the girl said dryly. "I think he likes you."

Emmy gave his face one last pat before stepping back. "How could you tell? I didn't have much experience with horses before I came to the palace. Whisper here had to put up with me," She reached for Whisper's reins, and stroke her neck.

"Can I say hi to Whisper?" The girl asked, and Emmy nodded. She watched as the girl made her acquaintance with Whisper, and fed her lumps of sugar when Emmy nodded her approval. "She's beautiful too," the girl said as she stepped back.

"Thank you," Emmy grinned, thinking of her mare's dull brown coat, and the white spots around her neck and rear. Whisper was not an elegant lady by conventional measure, but she was Emmy's, and they suited each other fine. The girl was probably being polite.

"Now, the stable master," Emmy said, and showed her the directions. Almost right after that, the bell for the fifth hour past noon rang, and the girl jumped.

"Oh I'm going to be late! I have to go!" She tugged Rebel's reins, and started towards the direction Emmy pointed her in. "Thank you! I'll see you later!"

Emmy waved and watched her go. It was only moments later that she realised she forgot to ask for the girl's name.

Emmy spent the next day on cleaning and mending, knowing that she would not have time to do so after the term starts. Two bells after noon, she heard muffled crashes and grating on the floor, and opened her door to peek out to the corridor. She grinned at the sight of Vania struggling with a heavy chest on the floor, and leaned against her door, crossing her arms. Vania must be dragging all her dresses here.

"Need a hand?" Emmy asked casually.

Vania's face lit up when she saw her, though she placed her hands on her hips at Emmy's feigned indifference. "Did you need to ask? Haven't the Bazhir taught you how to treat friends properly?"

Emmy grinned, and trotted over. Vania met her halfway as they embraced tightly. Vania felt a little taller again. Whenever Emmy grew a little taller and covered the half-foot distance between them, Vania would shoot taller again. Vania was already sixteen, but it didn't seem like Emmy would ever catch up.

Vania fingered Emmy's new short braid when she let go.

"I like this," She said, turning Emmy's shoulder around a little to see better. "Do you know how to twine some spikes into them, to discourage people from grabbing it?"

Emmy grinned at Vania, "That was going to be one of the first things I ask you."

Vania nodded her head at her storage chest at the floor, and signal for them to lift it together. "What are the other things you are planning to ask?"

Emmy forgot her question when lifted her end with a grunt. "What are you moving over? Don't you have another room in the royal wing?"

Vania paused to kick her door open wider. "You know how cursed far that wing is. I brought books for you, sweet. I found some interesting titles at Port Legann."

"Oops," Emmy said, and followed Vania to foot of her bed. They set down the heavy chest with a grunt. "I brought some sand from the desert for you. I'm sure there are still some in my boots."

That startled a laugh out of Vania. "I'm glad you went. The trip was good for you. Did Eda Bell teach you anything new?"

They settled down on Vania's bed and chattered about their summer. At some point Emmy had the sense to bring her mending over to Vania's room while Vania rearranged her things and polished her weapons. Fianola showed up just an hour before supper, and they tasted the snacks that she brought from home while they caught up.

Finally, it was time to stand in front of their rooms while haMinch led the pages to the first-years and find sponsors for them.

Emmy had a surprise when she realised that the girl she met yesterday was among the new pages, and the only girl in their year. What was even more surprising was her name.

"Patrine haMinch, sir." She said as she bowed, drawing gasps from the pages present.

Emmy couldn't see haMinch's face from where she was standing with the other pages behind him, but his voice was dry when he said, "Very well. And yes, as you must be wondering, we are related. Patrine is my grand-niece. But that does not mean that she will be treated more favourably."

"And I do not expected to be treated so, sir." Patrine replied confidently, and Emmy was surprised again that she dared to interrupt.

"You will be handed twice the punishment duties should I find your work unsatisfactory, understand?" haMinch said. The other pages either winced like Emmy did, or snickered.

Patrine didn't bat an eyelid. "Yes, sir."

"Now, who would sponsor her?"

Emmy found herself raising her hand even as both Vania and Fianola did. Several other boys did, as well, including Briar, a forth-year page now. A quick count told Emmy that a total of seven pages had volunteered.

HaMinch turned to survey them with a raised eyebrow. "Sponsoring Patrine would not improve my perception of you, to be clear. This is part of the duties of older pages." He turned a little to Patrine, "This is unprecedented. Would you like to choose your sponsor?"

Patrine nodded, and raised a finger to point at Emmy directly. "I would like her to be my sponsor, sir."

HaMinch raised an eyebrow, and he wasn't the only one surprised. "Are you acquainted with each other?"

"We are acquainted with each other's horses, sir." Patrine said with a straight face.

Emmy bit her lip to stop herself from grinning. Vania nudged her with an elbow, and when Emmy turned to look Vania had raised her eyebrow too. Emmy mouthed 'later' to her.

"Very well," haMinch said, "Emmeline of Tirragen will be your sponsor."

Emmy watched her face when haMinch said her name, and was relieved to find that Patrine did not flinch. When haMinch moved on, Patrine slipped easily through the group of pages as they parted ways for her. They shook hands silently, grinning, as haMinch had the next first year page introduced himself. Vania and Fianola were so busy getting Patrine's attention and waving that they didn't sponsor anyone else.

Vania and Fianola introduced themselves eagerly as they made their way to supper later, and they peppered Patrine with questions throughout supper. Patrine gamely answered all of them and asked her own, her confidence reminding Emmy of Vania, for all that she was only ten years old.

Emmy also asked questions, but half her mind was thinking back on her first year, and she tried to remember the things that were helpful. She tried to remember how the others acted as sponsors, and her heart fell when she recalled Tristan of Meron, the page Vania sponsored last year. If she was really honest with herself, was Emmy going to help Patrine's standing among her year mates?

When supper was finally done, she stopped Patrine and the corridor, and motioned for the others to move on. Vania and Fianola looked curious, but they let them be.

"Listen," she said to Patrine, her heart a little heavier but knowing that she ought to be upfront about it, "I'm honoured that you chose me as your sponsor. But you must know that Tirragen is a disgraced house, and it probably won't win you any favours from your year mates to be associated with me. I'll help you find your way around, but I'd understand if you want to stay away from me afterwards."

Patrine frowned at her. "Are you regretting this?"

Emmy shook her head quickly. "I would love to help you out. But haMinch values teamwork among the pages. You'd need to work closely with your year mates. They might not like to be associated with me, even indirectly. I'm used to it. I just want to make sure you know about this."

Patrine grinned a little. "Do you think I care about what they think? Rebel likes you, and he's a good judge of people. You're stuck with me."

Emmy had to grin back, though as she put an arm around Patrine's shoulder and steered her to the pages' wing, she made a mental note to herself. She would have to watch how Patrine works with her year mates. It would be sad if a relative of haMinch, the training master who brought a disparate group of pages together, were to become known as a lone wolf. Emmy would not let that happen, not on her watch.

The third years donned their weighted harnesses on the first day of training, and all of them were miserable. Emmy was pleased to note that she didn't struggle as much with it as she did at the beginning of her second year. She got used to it within the week, and and breathed a sigh of relief that her months of agony at the beginning of her second year wasn't going to be repeated.

"You're doing well with the weights, Emmy," Roland said to her one morning in their second week of training, panting as he leaned against his staff in the rare moment of breaks the instructors allowed them.

Emmy grinned, breathing heavily herself, though not as badly as Roland. "Eda Bell kept a strict training regimen on the road. We trained even after dinner."

Roland only had enough breath to give her a brief salute. Emmy surveyed the practice court, looking for one person in particular.

Patrine also leaned against her staff among the first years, though her face was grimaced in pain. Emmy frowned, and noted how Patrine held her ribs as if they hurt. None of her year mates were talking to her.

Emmy stole looks at her throughout the rest of her training, and noted that Patrine favoured one leg over another, and almost tripped when they trotted back to the storage shed to drop their practice weapons.

That night, Emmy stopped Patrine after supper and dragged her back to Emmy's room when she was certain that Patrine didn't have punishment duty to report to.

"What happened?" Emmy gestured for Patrine to sit next to her on her bed.

Patrine didn't move. She look exhausted. "What do you mean?"

"Are you hurt?"

Patrine shook her head quickly. Emmy caught a brief flash of panic, and it was only because Emmy was looking out for it.

She raised her eyebrow. "You don't have to hide it from me. I saw you at training today. You were in pain."

Patrine stuck her chin out. "I'm fine. I'm just sore from training, that's all."

Emmy crossed her arms. Was she this stubborn when she was starting out? "Why don't you give me a push-up? You did practise after I went to the trouble of showing it to you the other day, haven't you?"

Patrine glared at Emmy for a moment. Emmy held her gaze coolly, praying that Patrine had not yet realised that Emmy was not the type who wanted the first years to earn their ways. She would find out in time. But tonight, Emmy just needed to know.

Finally, Patrine lowered herself to the floor slowly, and braced herself on her hands. Her arms shook even at the plank position, and she gritted her teeth. The moment she tried to lower herself she gasped, and her knees hit the floor as she bend at the waist, her face grimaced in pain as she clutched one side of her ribs.

Knowing this was coming, Emmy was already by her side, and she helped Patrine up. She slung Patrine's free arm over her shoulders, and carefully guided her to sit on Emmy's bed. Patrine wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Let me see," Emmy said, and gently pulled Patrine's hand away. She lifted Patrine's shirt, and grimaced at the large bruise across her ribs and mid-section. It looked remarkably similar to her own bruises in her first year, and Emmy wondered if it was the same person who kicked Patrine when she was down.

Without a word, Emmy stood up and looked for the jar of bruise balm in her drawer. Knowing that Patrine was too proud for her own good, she handed it to her instead of helping her apply it.

"It's bruise balm. Put some on those bruises."

Emmy watched as Patrine did so.

"Do you have your own?" Emmy asked when Patrine was done. Patrine shook her head, and Emmy pushed the jar back into Patrine's hands when she tried to hand it to Emmy. "Keep it for now. Use it in the mornings and before you sleep. It's good, but not so good that you only need it once. Remember to use them on your leg too."

Patrine looked up to her in surprise. Emmy smiled slightly at her. "I told you I watched you at training."

Patrine looked away again, her cheeks flushed.

Emmy considered her words carefully. "I was ambushed on my first night of training." Patrine turned to her again, eyes wide. "Three larger boys cornered me in a corridor. Two held me up against the wall while a third punched me. When I fell to the ground, they kicked me." Emmy paused. "How many were there for you?"

Patrine gulped. "Four."

Emmy bit back a curse. "You'd think that they'd show some respect to a Minchi."

It was the wrong thing to say. Patrine's face closed up again and she looked away. "Why should they? The whole court knows by now how the Minchi clan denounced my father for letting me train for knighthood. My own relatives swore up and down that I would be gone after probation, and that my grand-uncle was only indulging his favourite nephew for a while."

Emmy stared in surprise. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

Patrine stood up with only a slight grimace. "I don't want you to be sorry for me." She put down the jar of bruise balm on Emmy's bed, and turned to leave.

Emmy gripped her arm and sighed, "Wait up, will you? I know how you feel. I'm a Tirragen, remember? All my friends feel sorry for me at times."

Patrine stopped resisting, and looked at the floor.

"They're still my friends, because we watch out for each other." Emmy continued, and shifted such that she was standing in front of Patrine. "Most of the time they forget I'm a Tirragen, and see me as a fellow page and friend. You're new to the palace, and you're my charge. I don't care what the court gossip say about you, I want you to do well. Will you trust me?"

Patrine looked up at her, and nodded tentatively. Emmy guided her back to her bed again and set her down.

"First things first, you won't be able to take on groups of boys at your age," Emmy began, feeling strange that she was reviewing her own experience and advising someone younger in a similar situation. "You will have the training to do so in time, but not right now. You need strength in numbers. Do you join your year mates when they study?"

"They avoid me." Patrine said quietly after a pause.

Emmy tried to hide her dismay. She had been so, so lucky to have Vania.

"Well, join us then," she tried to sound more cheerful, "My year mates and I always study at the classroom next to the library in the evenings. It helps when you come across problems you can't solve. Don't go anywhere alone, if you can. I'll walk with you, but don't be afraid to ask Vania or the others to walk you if I'm elsewhere, all right? You know they like you. "

Patrine nodded reluctantly.

"Don't worry too much about it," Emmy said gently, "They wouldn't leave me alone throughout my first year as well. But by the end of my first year I proved that I can take care of myself." She rested a hand on Patrine's shoulder, and smiled reassuringly at her hopeful eyes. "You'll do it too, in time. Let's watch out for each other in the meantime, shall we?"

Patrine nodded, smiling a little this time. Emmy made sure that she took the bruise balm with her. But Emmy stopped her before she opened the door.

"I know this will sound difficult for you," Emmy said, "but you'll have to figure out how to earn the respect of your year mates. Sir haMinch is strict about us having to work together, and you'll need to learn how."

"But I would have joined the Riders if I'd wanted to care about what others think," Patrine protested, bolder now that she could be honest with Emmy. "Knights work alone."

Emmy shook her head with a smile. She had thought that once too. "Do you think the Lioness work alone these days? She's fighting Scanrans with the army up north. Keladry of Mindelan is a commander at a camp, leading large groups of men and villagers. We'll work however we must, when the realm needs us. You're smart, I know you'll work this out eventually. But don't take too long."

Patrine actually pulled a face at her, and Emmy chuckled as she watched her return to her own room. She closed the door only when she saw that Patrine had reached her room safely. She shook her head. She would have to watch Patrine more closely from now on. She was lucky to have Vania and the others watch out for her, it was time to pass it forward.

When Emmy told the rest of her year mates about watching out for Patrine, they agreed readily. Fianola even told her privately that she was proud of Emmy for watching out for someone younger now. When Emmy ducked her head in pleasure and embarrassment, Fianola switched to complimenting Emmy on her combat skills, which surprised her.

After that, Emmy paid more attention to how she fared in class and was again surprised to find that she had improved a lot. She had always lived with the fact that she lagged behind her year mates when it came to combat trainings. But she was somehow among the top in class now, sometimes second only to Vania, sometimes beating Vania by a small margin.

Beyond the hand-to-hand training with Eda Bell on the road, Emmy's time with the Riders had improved her archery and riding tremendously. Her staff work improved as a result of her training with the glaive over the summer, and her fencing skills were sharpened with some of the moves that Eda taught her while on the road. The only thing that she was still rather horrible at, and in which Vania excelled, was tilting.

"Good," Vania had said when Emmy jokingly brought this up, "You have to leave something for me to be good at, my dear."

There was an odd glint in Vania's eyes when she said it, and Emmy had to wonder if Vania really minded.

In between her training and homework, and the occasional tutoring and keeping an eye on Patrine, Emmy didn't realise when Vania had started turning up exhausted to the trainings and classes. She took notice when Vania was punished for sleeping in class one day. Vania had dark circles under her eyes, and she looked haggard. Emmy turned to Fianola first, because Fianola noticed everything. But she said she didn't know the reason, and Emmy decided to confront Vania herself.

She waited for Vania while she mucked out the stables as part of her punishment for sleeping in class.

"What are you doing here?" Vania asked tiredly as she washed her hands.

"Waiting for you." Emmy said, walking over to stand next to Vania. Vania rested her hands on the edge of the barrel of water when she was done, closing her eyes.

"Are you all right?" Emmy asked, reaching out to rest a hand on Vania's shoulder.

Vania shook her off, and Emmy tried not to feel hurt by it. "I'm fine. Let's go. We still have work to get to."

"Wait," Emmy hurried to cut Vania off. "I want to know if you're all right. In general, I mean. You look very tired these days. Has something been bothering you?"

Vania stared at her for a few moments, her eyes unreadable. At last, she looked away. "It's nothing. Everything's fine."

Vania tried to walk around her, but Emmy raised an arm to block her. "I'm not blind, Vania. And I'm not an idiot, or too young to understand. You're my friend, and something's bothering you. I wish you would tell me."

Vania turned, and used her finger to raise Emmy's chin. Her smile was bitter. "You have grown up, haven't you?"

Emmy lowered her arm and shifted such that she faced Vania directly. She touched Vania's raised arm gently. "So have you. We all grow up. Will you tell me what's wrong? I just want to help."

Vania pulled her hand back and lowered her head. "You must think I'm a spoiled princess."

"I never!" Emmy said quickly, both her worry and frustration growing. Why wouldn't Vania just be straight with her? What made her so tired all the time? "You know I don't think that, Vania. Why would you say that? Can you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Vania insisted, and turned to walk away.

"I'm tired of you treating me like a child, Vania," The words were out before Emmy could stop herself, and Vania froze in her tracks, half turned away from her. "I know you and Fianola don't tell me things because you don't think I'd understand. But I thought I had earned your trust. I thought I'd shown that I've improved."

"Being good in training doesn't mean you know everything," Vania said unexpectedly, turning fully away such that Emmy couldn't see her face.

Emmy blinked, her earlier suspicions floating back up. "Is this what it's about? That I'm becoming good in training? You don't like it?" She tried to hide her hurt. She had thought Vania would be proud of her.

"It's not about you, Emmy." Vania said heavily, rubbing her temples.

"Have you been doing extra training on your own then?" Emmy asked. Vania's fingers froze at her temples, and Emmy knew she was right. Emmy frowned, "Have you been sleeping properly? You shouldn't push yourself too hard."

"I don't answer to you." Vania all but growled, and strode away. They echoed Emmy's own words, uttered to Vania on her first night of training two years ago. Emmy was so startled to hear them thrown back at her that she didn't follow Vania.

She stood in a daze at the stables for a while, wondering what had happened to them.