Wednesday April 11: Somewhere on the Streets of Los Angeles 2:01 p.m.
Have you ever had that feeling?
When you're in the moment that you don't want to end, when everything in the world will be alright as long as what you're doing doesn't stop? When you know that time, in fact, has slowed down just for you, just so you can keep feeling what you're feeling for a little while longer? When every part of your body is screaming to you 'Yes! This is right. This is what you should be doing'? When every trace of doubt you had a just a second ago can be removed by just a wave of the hand or a touch on the lips?
And promptly after that, have you ever had the feeling that your body was wrong?
Or worse yet, that your body in telling you to go for it, to dive head first into that pool that's so far down, to jump off the cliff without a bungee cord, to go ahead and face your worst fears because this time nothing bad will happen, was actually correct and it's somebody else's sense and sensibility or possible lack thereof that's holding you back from receiving that first feeling again?
Have you ever had the feeling that you just took two steps on the best direction of your life, only to feel like you've been punched in the gut by a sumo wrestler and thrown back a mile?
If not, you are very lucky. And, if not, you have no idea how Detective Shane McCutcheon felt as she sat in the passenger's seat of the unmarked car with her partner.
And while we're on the subject of feelings, have you ever had the feeling like you wanted to punch someone's face in for ruining the most perfect moment of your life so far? That feeling, one that's a bit more familiar to most people with blind rage, was another that consumed Shane at the moment and it was probably for the best that Officer Williams wasn't riding along with them.
It was painfully quiet except for the air conditioner up on full blast. Carmen was doing her best not to look at Shane, and Shane, for her part, was making it easier on her by looking out the window.
She watched the passing scenery of trees, buildings, people on the street, and did her best to get Carmen off her mind for the moment, something that was pretty near impossible with her sitting less than three feet away from her.
She was starting to wonder if Alice was possibly right. Maybe she was better off just leaving it alone. Maybe Carmen's apparent rejection was a good thing.
A blessing in a damn good disguise.
As she leaned over, the edges of her hat brushing up against the glass, she saw Carmen's eyes looking at her from the reflection.
She looked like she wanted to say something.
Everything about the case was already in motion. The warrant for Tim Haspel's arrest was processed. The patrol cars were following them, just in case they needed back up. The lights were flashing, the sirens were off. There was nothing about the case she could possibly have to say.
Shane watched the mirrored image of Carmen shift uncomfortably in the driver's seat. She watched her as she gripped the steering wheel tighter. She watched her as she opened her mouth and prepared to speak.
Sunday April 8: Schecter/ Stevens/ Sweeney Residence 7:32 p.m.
Jenny cupped her hands together to bring water to her mouth. As she swallowed, she heard a knock at the door.
"It's Max," he called from outside.
"I'll be out in a second," she called back.
"Don't worry about it. Nikki just wanted me to tell you to come to the kitchen."
Jenny swallowed a lump in her throat. That girl was probably trying to do something nice for her again.
Why did she keep doing that?
Now, Jenny really did have to keep that promise of hers and tell Tim tonight. She now felt this odd compulsion to keep her promises and it was starting to turn her stomach.
"Jenny?" Max called, not having heard her say anything for a while.
Jenny opened the door, fully clothed, and looked at Max. She was going to need some help. He had the same pitiable look on his face that he always had, though Jenny never knew why.
"Max, are you doing anything tonight?" she asked.
Judging by his face, the boy nearly went into shock.
"Uh.. n-no why? What do you need?"
"Can you come to The Planet with me? I don't want to go alone tonight."
"Why don't you just go with Nikki?" he asked, growing sullen.
Jenny just smiled and cocked her head to the side. He didn't need to know the real reason.
"She's got to film late tonight. Besides, I really want to go with you."
It was that smile; that smile that only Jenny could do, that made Max's hair stand on end and his heart melt a little.
"Sure," he agreed.
Jenny nodded and headed down the hallway.
Nikki heard the approaching footsteps and a chill ran up her spine. She was nervous and not just about the dinner.
Max had just come in giving her the same evil stare that he always did, the kind that always unraveled her sense of self. He was more angry than usual for some reason and he'd decided to take it out on Nikki, threatening to tell Tim about her and Jenny…... again.
He was always making that threat, it was generally an empty statement, but today Nikki took it to heart. She knew it would be better if Tim heard straight from Jenny's mouth and she didn't want to give Max the opportunity to say it first. Not tonight of all nights.
While Max had so politely offered to let Jenny know that her dinner was ready, Nikki set the table. Even though she was nervous, there was no reason for Jenny to suffer.
She put on her best face when she walked in the door.
"Wow," Jenny said, "is this all for me?"
It played out like a fifties sitcom – that is, if fifties sitcoms involved young lesbians in love serving each other store bought spaghetti because they couldn't possibly make their own.
Jenny sat down, acting all impressed at the meal.
Nikki said it was nothing, that she just wanted to do something nice for Jenny.
Jenny insisted that she didn't have to go through all the hassle and Nikki said it was none.
All that was missing was the two kids, the poodle skirts, the sock hops, and the malt shops.
It was just that sweet.
At least until Max appeared in the doorway with that ever menacing look on his face just for Nikki.
"Hey, Jenny can I show you something really quick?" he asked.
Out of some odd compulsive reflex, Jenny looked over at Nikki for approval. After receiving the affirmative nod, Jenny followed Max out the studio leaving Nikki in the kitchen with her thoughts.
I can't let him do this, she decided.
But how was she going to stop Jenny from going out tonight?
She couldn't just tell her she didn't want Jenny to tell Tim, that wouldn't make any sense since she'd been consumed by it for the longest (quite odd, considering when they started out Jenny was the one concerned for Tim's feeling but, hey, this is Jenny Schecter she was talking about. There's no reason to question Jenny's motives).
Nikki looked over her shoulder and saw Max and Jenny deep on some conversation that apparently didn't concern her and looked like it might take a while.
She sighed and bit into her breadstick.
"Ow," she said, holding on to her cheek. She'd forgotten that side of her mouth was still sore from the stitches in her mouth.
It hit Nikki like a lightning bolt and she stood up just as fast, walking to the bathroom. She grabbed the orangey brown bottle of prescription painkillers that had knocked her out when she was on them and went back to the kitchen.
Fortunately, Jenny – despite her protests of fatty foods and determination to keep her tiny figure – loved cheese in her spaghetti and lots of it. Nikki quickly went to work grinding up the pills as fine as she could, looking up and checking occasionally to be sure that they were still --
She saw movement towards the door of the shed.
She scooped up the power an mixed it in with Jenny's plate before quickly stowing the bottle in her pocket.
"Are you okay, Nikki?" Jenny asked, entering the kitchen without Max.
Nikki was standing ramrod straight, looking slightly guilty, but Jenny dismissed it. Nikki wasn't smart enough to do anything worth being concerned about.
"Yeah," Nikki nodded, sitting back down. "I was just waiting for you."
"You're so sweet," Jenny told her as she rejoined Nikki for dinner. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
TBC