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Chapter 14: Cracks of Anger
Albus was released from the Hospital Wing without much fanfare the very next day, weighed down by considerably less mucus and having a very attentive Lydia by his side. That meant two things: one, that whilst Lydia was there the rest of them may as well not have existed and two, that both Scorpius and Max could go back to living a life without trying desperately to avoid getting ill.
The next week, Rose and Scorpius began to do their prefect's rounds together. To both their surprise, they always managed to have something in common. It turned out that both of them wanted to do some kind of academic research after school finished and, as the only two people they each knew who were interested in that, they could talk about it to their heart's desire.
"So just to clarify once more, you don't find it cripplingly nerdy if I go off on one about how much I love reading the Potions Monthly journals?"
Rose smiled. "Only if you don't mock how I used to steal my mother's copies of journals when I was younger."
Scorpius refrained at that point from declaring that he loved her even more.
They actually got on very well, when he was tripping over himself to talk to her, and she warmed to the idea that he wasn't a psychotic robot. Although, of course, he still occasionally tripped over himself. Sometimes literally.
"Ahh!" Scorpius fell up the stairs with a thunk, twisted ankle throbbing behind him.
"Scorpius— What the hell?"
"Malfoy tripped on air~ Malfoy tripped on air~" Peeves sang gleefully as he whizzed by, blowing a party whistle as he went.
"How can he even blow those things? How the hell does that work?" Scorpius held two fingers up to the retreating poltergeist as he was helped up by Rose.
"I still have no idea, to this day." Rose sighed as she, too, watched Peeves fly away. "So did you really just fall over nothing?"
"Oh, no. Peeves pulled my leg." Scorpius rolled his eyes. Peeves had caught on fairly early that Scorpius wasn't the most popular kid, and never, ever let it go. "At least I wasn't outside this time."
"Again?"
"You don't even want to know."
If there was one thing that Scorpius found could quickly shut Rose up, it was to mention his past. He didn't know why; she used to be quite gleeful about it. If he remembered correctly, she'd laughed along with the rest of the students for three whole years.
Their rounds were often the high point of his week, which is why it was a shame they were on Mondays. He had to somehow do something that was equally as enjoyable at least one more time that week for it not to feel like a complete letdown. With the amount of homework they had to do, that felt nearly impossible.
"Have any of you actually mastered non-verbal spells yet?" Albus asked frustratedly, his face still looking red and strained from his last few attempts at casting Lumos without saying anything.
"Nope. I've only got better at ventriloquy." Alfie sighed, putting his wand down in exchange for an ancient-looking book.
"Why do you only ever read books that look like they're about to disintegrate?"
Alfie shrugged at Max. "I like the thrill of danger."
"'The thrill of danger'?"
"Y'know. Will it be my hands it disintegrates in or the next person's? Am I going to be the one who has to deal with Madam Pince? That kind of thing."
"To be fair," Scorpius added before Max had time to say something stupid, "Madam Pince is terrifying."
"Do you remember that time we got kicked out, y'know, last year?" Joshua grinned at Max and Albus.
Albus leant back against the wall of their hideaway. "I thought she was going to transform into some horrible beast."
"What did you do, though?" Alfie asked in slight gobsmacked horror.
Max pulled an innocent face. Clearly, that was quite hard for him. "We only started a small, accidental fire."
"You started a fire... in the library?" Scorpius asked Albus, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"Turns out that when you use your wand to follow the words, it can sometimes cause a fire if you're reading about fire spells."
"We put it out! You couldn't even see the damage—"
"— the page is a little brown."
"—okay, you can barely see the damage. But still, the point is that I don't think she had to run us out the library."
"Oh Merlin's Beard, she chased you out the library?"
"Yep. Full speed chase."
Scorpius laughed. Even if he was slightly horrified, he couldn't help himself. "That's hilarious."
"We do try our best." Joshua saluted him.
Joshua had been in a much better mood since the Hogsmeade weekend, and since Amelie Bennett had accepted his invitation to the Ball. It turned out that he was only so mad since she was the only girl so far who didn't immediately drop at his feet. That, or she and her friends were using their common sense. But finally, she had agreed after he did something he refused to say during that Hogsmeade visit. Of course, Alfie knew about this all along. Of course he did, it was Alfie. Alfie, the paragon of how to raise your teenage boy, who was also very clearly increasingly bothered about something. He seemed to spend most of the time he was 'reading' staring at the page and biting his lip. But every time Scorpius even hinted about it, he never broke. He was like the world's hardest-boiled egg.
So, as November rolled around and the nights drew in but the homework dragged out, Scorpius was the only one left without a date to the Ball. But he hoped that would soon change, What with he and Roses' first 'date' to the Slug Club soon approaching.
"You can't call it a date, Scorpius." Joshua chastised.
"You really can't, not when old Sluggy'll be there." Max added.
"I'm going to call it a date because it makes me feel better." Scorpius argued back. "Oh wait no, it doesn't, that's now a lead weight sinking through the lining of my stomach."
Alfie lazily drew his eyes up from his book to look round at Scorpius who was halfway between shaking and dancing from one foot to another. "Oh. That's unpleasant."
"Calm down, mate. Try not to look like a blast-ended skroot hit you up the arse."
"Max— what the hell?!"
And so, in the second week of November, Scorpius found himself anxiously waiting with Albus in the Great Hall for both Lydia Griffiths and Rose to appear.
"How does this never get easier?" Albus whined to himself.
"You're asking the wrong person."
"Oh. Yeah."
"Try not to drink the whole bottle of fire whiskey this time."
Albus rolled his eyes at Scorpius, who sweetly smiled and adjusted Albus' tie.
"There you are!" Came Lydia Griffiths' lilting voice, and it felt like Albus had been shocked under Scorpius' very fingertips.
Lydia, dressed in light blue, was walking with Rose, who was dressed in long, navy dress robes.
"You look great." He commented as she came closer.
"Thank you. Let's not get too shallow now, though. I can still abandon you at any time."
"Right. Thanks."
Rose gave him a disarming smile and he just about melted.
"Stop shaking." She commented as they walked to Slughorn's Office together.
Scorpius jumped from his nerve-induced trance. "What? Shaking?"
"Yes. You."
"Oh. I'll try."
She sighed. "Do you often get nervous?"
"Not usually." He didn't think it'd sound right if he told her he only ever got nervous around beautiful women - aka, her. Max might have even called it 'stalkerish'.
She looked bemused at his answer. "I suppose I'm flattered, then."
"Only the best of company get to witness my nervous breakdowns."
"Oh, Dumbledore." She laughed.
The four of them waited outside Slughorn's rooms, waiting for him - or whoever he roped in to wait on them that night - to open the door for them.
It was a student who opened the door to them, perhaps a third or fourth year all dressed in white. Rose seemed to recognise him as she gave him a wave when they passed.
"Do you know everyone by design or by accident?"
"I suppose it's a coincidence. I'm from a famous family, they all know me; I simply remember them in return."
"Must be nice." Scooirus opined, and Rose quickly turned away, suddenly engaging James in a short conversation.
"Ditched that fast, eh?" Naoki Greensmith appeared at Scorpius' side, towering over Scorpius as always. He was ridiculously tall, but he supposed that it was an advantage for a keeper. He could cover more ground in an instant, just by virtue of sheer body mass.
"It's my obvious charm. No one can resist it."
Naoki smiled with an affection that had grown ever since their Quidditch victory. "I heard about Slughorn's offer, too."
"O-Oh?" Scorpius spluttered. He hadn't told his friends about that. He hadn't even told Albus or written to his father. He didn't really believe it himself yet. "How'd you find that one out?"
"Do you remember Oliver Turner?"
Scorpius wracked his mind for the name. It sounded vaguely familiar.
"No, I don't think so."
"A few years above me, used to be a beater on the Quidditch team. Always wore T-shirts, even in winter."
Scorpius grinned. He remembered T-shirt man. "Oh yeah, what about him?"
"We're friends, and he works there now as an administrator. He told me that Slughorn had sent in a letter to the head of the laboratories asking about a placement for one Mr Malfoy. Not hard to put two and two together, eh?"
"I guess not. Would you mind not telling anyone, though? Only, I haven't told anyone yet. I don't even believe it myself."
"'Course. Anything for my start player." Naoki grinned, clapping Scorpius on the shoulder.
"What're you talking about?" Rose, Lily, Jasmine and Paige seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Nothing. We were just talking about the next Quidditch game."
"The Gryffindor-Ravenclaw one? Oh, it's going to be so good!" Lily was energetic at the best of times, but even more so when it came to Quidditch. It wasn't surprising when one considered that Quidditch was essentially hardwired into her DNA.
"That, and we were debating which team would be easier to beat in the finals." Scorpius teased.
"Do you really want to have this fight?" Paige asked. Scorpius was momentarily taken aback. This must've been the first time they'd ever talked. Even when they'd had to sit next to each other all of Defense Against the Dark Arts in third year she hadn't said a word to him.
He grinned. "Well, I am pretty confident in my team, but I'm willing to hear you out."
"I'll leave before this gets messy. And, y'know — well done, Scorpius."
Scorpius gave a salute, and caught Rose's eyes. She narrowed her eyes briefly, but even if she realised that they had absolutely not been discussing quidditch, she let it drop.
It was a long while later until Scorpius and Rose were alone again. Almost two hours, in fact, and after the party had officially ended.
Rose had hung back in the charge of people who flowed out of Slughorn's office and into the chilly evening air, so she could catch Scorpius, who'd been discussing Slughorn's offer with him.
"Slughorn have something important to say?"
Scorpius hummed in approval.
"Are you going to tell me?"
"Oh, it's... it's nothing."
"If you say so."
He restrained a frown, choosing to ignore it. Things never ended well when two know-it-alls began to argue.
They walked back up to the courtyard together in the still November night. The stars looked beautiful in the tranquil night sky just beyond the grand arches of the grand hall's magnificent doorway.
"Do you want to go to the astronomy tower?" She asked, quite suddenly. "Don't start shaking again!" She giggled at the feeling of his surprise under her fingertips.
"Don't worry - I can assure you I've got the heart of a lion."
"Oh, really?" She asked, catching up to his long strides up the grand staircase.
"Absolutely. A baby lion though, obviously."
She laughed, leaning close to him. "You know, Albus told me about everything that happened. You know, in fourth year."
"Oh. Yeah, that." Scorpius felt his dinner churning uncomfortably in his stomach.
"I... I think you're braver than you realise. You could almost qualify as one of us, on a good day."
"Thank you, but I'm proudly a Slytherin."
She made a small sound. "If you insist."
"I do. Emerald and silver are just so complimentary to my skin tone." He said, deliberately affecting an overly-feminised voice.
"Don't mock the fashion of the house colours! You should take some tips from your friend Alfie; he's great with fashion."
"I know. He's great with girls, fashion, people in general... we all secretly want to be Alfie on the inside."
Rose smiled at him as they reached the top of the fourth-floor staircase.
"You're strange."
Scorpius frowned. He was strange? Pot, meet kettle.
And so Scorpius found himself sitting in the Astronomy Tower, pressed up against the rails, his legs hanging through the gaps, and watching the stars with the girl he'd never thought he'd be able to hold a full conversation with.
"Do you ever wonder if there are people on those stars, staring right back at us?"
Rose looked at him with wide chocolate brown eyes, that now he saw in the bright moonlight, had speckles of blue around the outer edge of the iris. And he could still see the remainder of her summer freckles around her eyes.
She looked back out at the starry autumn sky. "What do you mean?"
Scorpius frowned. "That... there could be people on those stars looking right back at us."
"You know they're flaming rocks of destruction, streaking across the galaxy, right?"
"Nope."
"Seriously?"
"No one ever taught me about these things! And they're not potions or history, so they're not worth researching."
She laughed, her teeth white against the red lipstick she was wearing. "It is always good to be open-minded, isn't it?"
The way she looked at him, a smile full of laughter, through thick eyelashes with eyes that sparkled with playfulness. That was a look that could kill him. And with that look in her eyes, anyone might think...
No.
Anyone could perhaps maybe think that she was flirting with him.
"Well, y'know, History is— it's very important and stuff."
The look was gone, replaced by a raised eyebrow. "Oh, really?"
"Sure. History directly lays the foundations for culture. Culture feeds into who we are as people. It just makes sense that we understand our culture to understand ourselves."
She swallowed, and raised her eyebrows in defeat, looking back out at the sky. "I suppose so."
A silence only interrupted by the wind gently blowing brought the corridors disturbing them.
"Go on, then. Tell me something important."
"Well, I can tell you all about unicorns and witches in the Roman world if you want."
"Oh god—" Rose groaned, "next!"
Scorpius laughed along with Rose. "Well how about... the first astrology teacher here!"
"Oh?"
"His name was Aethelred the Gazer. He used to stare and stare and stare at the stars so much, Ravenclaw offered him a post here."
"You mean — the original Ravenclaw? Rowena Ravenclaw?"
"The one and only."
"Wow. That was a serious lapse in judgment."
Scorpius smiled. "You'd think. But then he correctly predicted the death of her daughter based on planetary alignments, and thus Astrology became a permanent subject here, with him as the first teacher."
Rose made a sound of argument. "As if! That doesn't sound right."
"It's what 'is written'. And if a historian writes it down you absolutely believe every word you read as though ancient historians are incapable of telling lies."
Rose chuckled. "Whatever they say, I still don't really believe in astrology."
"Well, sometimes Alfie predicts nice things, so I definitely believe it then."
Silence fell between them again. And Scorpius found, to his delight, that he didn't feel the need to eat his own lips or score his stomach with his nails because of it. It was a pleasant silence. He found himself able to listen to the cool whistling of the first winter winds, look out over the grounds and to the Great Lake, and at Rose's beautiful, beautiful face before turning back to the night sky without feeling uncomfortable.
"You know, my Uncle Harry hates astrology."
Scorpius tore his eyes from the shimmering night sky to look at Rose. Her dark eyes reflected all the stars and shimmered brighter than any of them. "Really?"
She nodded with a hum. "He says it's weird to look at the night sky and suddenly decide the future."
"Now that is officially the most cynical approach to astrology I've ever heard.."
"Yeah. I think it's because he was essentially raised a muggle so stars are only for gazing to him."
"He was raised a muggle?" Scorpius frowned. Rose turned to look at him.
"Well, of course. How don't you know that?"
"I knew his parents died, but I just assumed he had some relative who took him in."
"He did." Rosen's frown matched Scorpius'. "His aunt and uncle. The muggles?"
Scorpius shrugged. "I don't know anything about modern Wizarding History past 1985."
Rose let out a choke of disbelief. "Let me get this straight. You believe that history is necessary to the understanding of oneself, but you don't know anything about the Second Wizarding War?!"
"Yeah. But we've never covered anything past that date. It's not really History then, is it?"
Rose clasped her hands over her eyes, exasperated. "Malfoy, you are the direct result of that history. It is who you are. Who I am. Who your parents are, who my parents are — everything!"
Scorpius' stomach dropped like a leaden weight, and he felt himself warm despite the frigid night air. He frowned down at his fidgeting hands resting anxiously in his lap. "I know the things some of my family did. But it wasn't all of us - not by a long shot! My parents are innocent, and so am I."
Rose sighed heavily through her nose. She looked back out at the night sky, but this time her eyes weren't shining with serenity.
"I do not understand you. I really just don't get it." She turned to look at him, and her face was somehow closed off to him. Like one of the walls he'd worked so hard to pull down had gone straight back up again. "Why don't you know anything? Didn't anyone ever tell you stories? Didn't you ever look things up for yourself?"
"Well, sure I heard the rumours!" Scorpius replied, feeling that acidic heat spread into his voice. "It's hard not to when people shout them at you down the school corridors. But they're just horrible rumours and that's that."
"Really?"
"Obviously! I'm not the son of Voldemort, my dad wasn't a death eater and there was never a bloody massacre in my house!"
Rose opened and closed her mouth a few times. "I— Okay. Alright." She stood up.
"What?" Scorpius asked, feeling the anger abate.
"I just need to take a little time. Go and... think things over."
"What? I don't get it."
"I know you don't. That's the problem." She groaned and stood, turning to leave swiftly with her dress robes trailing behind. "Look, I'll see you around."
"What? Rose!" He called, but nothing came except the shape of her retreating back getting smaller and smaller. He felt sick to the pit of his stomach again, but this time not with nerves - with confusion and emptiness and anger.
"I don't get it!" he yelled to no one at all, giving the stone cold ground a hard punch for good measure.
He looked out to the night sky. There were all his ancestor's namesakes, glitteringly proudly like a blanket over the night sky. There was his father's constellation, and his constellation. The decidedly evil grandparent's stars hidden amongst a constellation, and the star he'd decided would be his mother's star. His innocent, wonderful mother.
What on Earth was she implying? He frowned, his face turning hard. To suggest things about his father was one thing, but his mother... she was dead. She was gone, and never coming back, and suggest anything about her was to go too far. Too much, even for Rose to do. Why would she dare to imply anything like that?
For the first time in his entire life, Scorpius Malfoy experienced a moment he had never expected to feel. He was angry at Rose Granger-Weasley.
Anger is a funny emotion. Because often, it fades away far quicker than it lingers for, and then you're left with the mess around you from whatever you did in those few furious moments. If you were lucky, maybe it was something you could smooth over with a quick apology, or perhaps an object that you could cast reparo on and you'd never even know the difference. He and Albus had fought so many times over the years that I'd you looked hard enough, their friendship was full of sealed over cracks. But those healed up cracks gave their friendship its unique designed; fashioned them into who they were all those years later.
If you weren't lucky, those few moments of anger could cause a cavernous divide of life-long pain.
Scorpius cast a quick glance across the Great Hall. Rose met his eyes and, without any emotion at all, blinked and looked back at Lola Travers next to her. She was so devoid of feeling, so cool and unabashed that Scorpius felt a shiver of ice clamour in his stomach.
"Don't look all the time. You'll only make things worse." Joshua mumbled into Scorpius' ear. He felt Joshua's hand on his shoulder and gave a half-hearted smile.
"I always did say I was a hopeless romantic."
"Romantic may be right, but we've yet to see on the 'hopeless' front."
"Blimey, Josh. I've never seen you so optimistic!" Max cackled, and you didn't have to think hard to know why he was laughing.
Joshua rolled his eyes as the tiny witch at the front of the table-less Great Hall clapped her magically magnified hands together. The sound hit the walls with a boom.
"Welcome, Sixth Years, to apparition lessons. My name is Mildred Spans and I will be conducting this course throughout the year."
Professor Henrich prowled behind her at the front of the hall like a hungry panther.
"Today we shall cover the basics of apparition. This is a particularly advanced and difficult form of magic to accomplish, so I don't expect any of you to apparate anywhere today. Now, I want you all to line up - about three feet spare in all directions - and wait for Professor Henrich and me to distribute the hoops to you.
Scorpius and Albus lined up next to each other, Joshua and Max behind them and Alfie, who had been a tiny bit late arriving, was at the back with a few Ravenclaws - one of them Scorpius might've recognised as Oliver Abbey. He gave them a wave and a vague smile, before lining up next to Oliver, and Albus and Scorpius returned their attention to the hoops Professor Henrich 'accidentally' almost levitated to land on Scorpius head - not at his feet.
"Dick—head" Albus disguised in a heavy cough. Scorpius almost chocked on his laughter as Professor Henrich glances back at them from two rows in front.
"Apparition," Mildred Spans began in a high, almost shrill and reedy voice, "rests on the three Ds:"
Scorpius heard a stifled snigger from behind him, and he didn't even have to turn around to know it was Max.
"Destination, determination and deliberation. Decide on your destination first. Set your mind on it with all the determination you have, and without too much haste and the right amount of deliberation," she spun on the spot, and with a pop appeared in the hoop before her, "do a quick spin, and you will have apparated by yourself."
She gave a flushed smile as they applauded her, and Albus and Scorpius gave nervous looks to each other. Somehow, now he was faced with actually/ apparating, he stomach felt like a hundred butterflies spontaneous hatched and burst into flight. Sure, reading about it was fine. Made it sound easy, even. But simply turning on the spot and hoping that you ended up somewhere else? Now that was hard work. Appearing somewhere else seemed like trying to learn how to do non-verbal spells twenty times over.
"Now then, I want each of you to give it a good try. Decide on your destination - that'll be your hoop - muster all your determination, and then deliberate on moving your body so that you'll apparat to the hoop."
Scorpius gave Albus an uneasy grimace. It didn't seem just as easy as following those way too vague rules, but he'd try. And as he stared into the void of ancient floorboards in the hoop in front of him, he convinced himself that he would do it. Of course he would. He could do anything he set his mind to - and he had the added benefit of having apparated with his father several times a year for the past few years. No one was likely to forget such a horrible feeling quickly.
He took a deep breath as the noise built around him. Students twirling on the spot, falling to the ground, and yelling muffled swear words as they stubbed their toes on the hoops all around them.
He closed his eyes and cleared his mind. He could do this. He could do this. Thinking only of the hoop in front of him, he put all his determination into wanting desperately to apparate and—
"Oh bloody— ow!" Scorpius cried as he hit the ground. He looked up to see Max and Joshua barley keeping themselves upright from laughing.
"Oh go on then, how far have you two moved?" Scorpius frowned, rubbing his arse as he climbed back to his feet.
"About three inches." Max shrugged, making a very unconvincing lie.
"That must be a phrase you hear a lot." Joshua sniggered.
"You know, Josh, projection is a very common technique for people dealing with personal issues."
"Turn around, Mr Malfoy." Scorpius' neck almost cracked as he whipped his head around to see Professor Henrich glaring at them.
"Sorry, Professor."
He glided away like an arrogant hawk, beady eyes gleaming in the torchlight and dragon skin cloak glittering darkly.
"He is just a walking horror villain, isn't he?" Scorpius heard Joshua mutter, and agreed internally.
His eyes turned to Albus, who was frowning deeply and biting his lip - a habit of concentration that Scorpius hadn't seen since Ancient Runes.
"Scor - I can feel your eyes on me! I feel like an interrogation subject."
"Sorry!" Scorpius snorted, and turned his eyes back to his own hoop, leaving Albus in peace.
He closed his eyes again, blocking out the soft train of swear words coming from Harry Shaw a few hoops over. He focused only on the image of the hoop, and bore down slightly in preparation for a spin.
Pop!
Scorpius opened his eyes at the sharp sound. It pierced the bubble of chatter over the hall and everyone stopped turning.
In the destination hoop stood Albus, wobbling slightly on his feet and looking a little bit bemused.
"Oh. I did it." He mumbled, scratching the side of his head.
"Did a student just apparate?" Mildred Spans wove through the lines of gawking students to find Albus. "I do not believe it. This hasn't happened in eight years!"
Albus, growing redder by the moment, fought desperately not to meet her eyes.
"Could you show us again?" She asked, and Albus deepened to at least a light plum shade.
"M-Me?"
"No, Al. She wants the rest of us who can't apparate to do it." Scorpius chided, folding his arms over his chest.
Albus relaxed, rolled his eyes, and stepped out of the destination hoop and back into the original one. Exhaling loudly, he lined himself up again and closed his eyes. And, with a spin and a crack he was gone, appearing seconds later in the destination hoop an just as bemused as he had looked last time.
"Blimey. Feels a bit unpleasant, doesn't it?" He mumbled, and a few students surrounding him chuckled.
"You're lucky. The last student to apparate in their first lesson promptly emptied their stomach all over the floor"
"I can see why."
Professor Henrich, who had prowled closer, now floated away equally as fast with a disgusted look on his face. Knowing him, he was probably wearing gaudily expensive shoes under that cloak, too.
"Students." Mildred Spans gave an artificially magnified clap again, and this time every single student in the hall had their attention on Albus again. Colour crept up from his collar again. "Did you all see this student? He properly focused on his destination, put all his determination into it, and deliberated on how he was going to achieve it. Now you have a go at doing it. Pip-pip!"
With a pop, she apparatus to the front of the hall again, and Albus' face mercifully began to drain of colour.
"Thank Merlin she left! You look like you're about to explode." Max chided, and Albus stuck two fingers up in response.
"Well, at least Al can do it." Scorpius said, looking longingly at his destination hoop. "If we jump into it really fast, would that count?"
"No chance." The three of them chorused.
Albus apparated at least four more times in the remainder of their lesson, but the only time Scorpius got into his was to pick it up at the end.
"Next time, Scor." Albus had consoled his friend with a shy smile and a piece of empty advice at the end of the hour, and Scorpius quickly picked up his smile again as they headed down to the dungeons. But not before quite literally bumping into a taciturn Rose beforehand.
"Oh. Malfoy."
Scorpius gritted his teeth. "Granger-Weasley." He declared back. It simultaneously gratified the dim light of anger and grudge within the pit of his stomach and made his heart positively ache to be so callous. And he wasn't good at it - because he knew that he would moon over her for the rest of time given half a chance.
A letter for Scorpius came a few mornings later. One of the tawny owls that his father kept in his office dropped it in his cornflakes and flew off without a pause.
"Nice. I do enjoy a soggy letter every now and then." Max commented, watching as Scorpius retrieved the dripping corner of his letter from the bowl.
Cringing, he dried the milk-soaked point and opened the letter. It was the heavy official parchment again, and that same bold-inked pen.
"Your dad really does know how to add the personal touch, doesn't he?" Albus mumbled with a knowing smile.
Scorpius shrugged, and pulled out the letter.
Dear Scorpius,
You'll pick up apparating soon. I was a fast learner, but not everyone is. Keep trying. And if Albus ever gives you grief, I've got some stories about his father you could always use.
Life is the same as always at home. I get up, I eat, I go to work, I come home, and sometimes I even tidy(!) Catherine is pleased. But the rats are at play again, and Theia's presence is missed. I look forward to having the two of you back.
I'm working on a bill at the moment at the ministry - the one I always bored you and your mum with. My co-workers are less terse these days so the response has been good so far. If I'm lucky, I might even get to put it before the Minister in the near future!
You've been vague about your friends lately. I haven't heard anything since the Quidditch match. Is everything okay? I'm not your mother, but maybe I can help.
Keep up the good work. You're doing well and living up to the Malfoy name. I'm proud of you.
Your Father.
Somehow, he felt slightly unwell when he read the final line. 'Living up to the Malfoy name'. That name hasn't got him anywhere - and it had never done his father or mother any favours.
"What is it? Did you tell you that you're the milkman's son?"
"What— What even is a 'milk-man'?"
Joshua looked at them all dumbfounded. "Oh, come on! You're telling me none of you know what a milkman is?" He rolled his eyes. "This is exactly why Muggle Studies is important."
"Well..." Scorpius folded the letter and put it neatly back in the envelope. "He didn't say that."
"What's up, then?" Alfie asked, tearing his eyes away from the Daily Prophet's back pages. He'd always side he liked to read the 'looking for love section' he said it made him realise there was a wider world out there than just Hogwarts.
"Oh, well he just mentioned something about me 'living up to the Malfoy name'.
Albus chocked on his pumpkin juice. "W-Was it a joke? Because Scor, you're nothing like the Malfoy name!" He laughed into his goblet, but no one else joined him.
Scorpius frowned. "What do you mean?"
"No— nothing. Just that, y'know. The rumours aren't the best for the last generation or so."
Max and Joshua stared at Albus with wide eyes and Alfie retreated behind his newspaper.
Scorpius took a deep breath and tried to ignore that he was clenching his fist so hard the nails almost cut into his skin. "Okay."
"Scor— it's nothing against your dad. Or your mum. But if it didn't bother you at least a bit, why're you so bothered by it?"
Max sucked in a tiny breath and Alfie raised the paper higher in front of himself.
"Well, it bothers me that you're implying that my family really are the worst of the worst." Even if he knew Albus was right, even if it did bother him that reading those lines of his dad's letter caused his chest to freeze in an instant, for Albus of all people to actually say it was so much worse.
"I'm sorry. I know it bothered you—"
"Yeah, yeah it does! I spent years with it being thrown in my face, every day. Things said about my parents that you're never going to be able to understand!"
"I know, but—"
"No, you don't. I'm fed up, I'm going to the library." Scorpius pulled his bag out from under the table violently and stormed out of the hall without even finishing his breakfast, determined to spend all of his free morning alone, and at peace. Besides, Abus had class all morning - and not seeing his stupid face would let Scorpius think in peace.
Scorpius thumbed over the letter all morning. Fingers tracing the dented letters 'Malfoy' over and over again.
He always knew he should've been a Greengrass. And he was one, really. His aunt hadn't been as kind as his mum, but she'd been nice whenever he went to see her. But he didn't even know if she was still alive or well, not after she and his dad fought at Scorpius' mum's funeral. Talk about a bad day.
But if he'd been a Greengrass, he wouldn't have to sit there for hours and wonder why his family made him feel so uncomfortable. Sure, his dad's parents hadn't been the best. And yeah, maybe they were in Azkaban. But people must've needed scapegoats to put all their pain on after the war, and his grandparents were the perfect candidates.
And if people were willing to honestly believe that he was the son of Voldemort, they could believe anything. And if there was someone to believe something, there were people to make it up, too. No one liked his dad, that was a fact. And sometimes, Scorpius got it. So there were all the more people to make up things that he and his kin had done, and no one was around to defend them anymore but Scorpius - and it was only recently anyone had started listening to him.
"Scorpius... Malfoy?"
Scorpius looked around wildly, jolted as though from a nightmare.
"Oh. Lola, right?" Scorpius vaguely recognised the chubby blonde girl as one of Rose's friend. A Gryffindor.
"That's me. Mind if I sit here?"
"No. Go for it." He shoved the letter back into its envelope and slipped it back between the worn pages of his potions book.
"You know, I've wanted to say this since the Quidditch match," she nervously tucked some of her hair behind her ear, "thanks for what you said. To Daniel."
Scorpius frowned. "Eh?"
"My dad. He was a Death Eater, and now he's in Azkaban. But I'm not him, and I never will be. I still love him, despite what he's all done."
"Oh. I'm sorry. About y'know, all that."
She gave a half-smile. "It is what it is."
Scorpius noticed that her light blue eyes looked a little vacant in that way the Scammander's twins' did, and her voice was exceedingly gentle. He never would've know what her dad was if she hadn't told him.
"It's nice to see someone in the same boat as me."
Scorpius frowned, and pressed his lips together.
"And even when we do completely own our family's past, sometimes it's hard for others to see that we aren't just the same as them. I never want to see the Death Eaters come back, and I'd give anything to make sure it stays that way. But some people don't get it. So it's nice to see someone who speaks out about how we own the past like that."
Scorpius opened his mouth dumbfounded, and quickly found he had to shut it. He had nothing to say.
"Anyway. I don't want to distract you from your work. That's all I wanted to say, really."
"Oh, it's fine. You can stay if you want." Scorpius added without really thinking.
She gave a kind smile and shook her head. "It's alright. I've got to go read the old newspapers for Muggle Studies class, anyway."
"We have newspapers?"
She chuckled lightly. "Yeah. A whole rack of them at the back. The Daily Prophet, from last year all the way back to the late 1400s."
"You're kidding? The 1400s! I'll have to check that out as soon as I stop drowning in this pile of essays."
"Chance is a fine thing. Um, I'll see you later Scorpius."
He smiled, and gave her a wave as she walked back to the newspaper aisle.
He pulled out the letter again. Albus' words burned at the back of his mind still. And an hour later, a very harried looking Albus speed-walked last the table Scorpius was sitting at, only to reverse up to it when he saw the shiny platinum hair.
"Scor!" He whispered so fiercely he almost shouted.
"Hey! Do you want to get us kicked out?"
"No. Look- I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't think, I was being stupid."
Scorpius shook his head. "'S fine. I got a bit hot-headed."
"No, I wasn't thinking of your family. I'm sorry. Your dad's really nice, and I'd never say that to his face, so I shouldn't have said it behind his back, either."
Scorpius smiled as he recognised the same old logic that Albus had always applied to relationships, handed down from his mum. She sounded like a wise woman to Scorpius.
"Thanks. And for what it's worth, I'll just go on repressing my feelings until I don't even react anymore,"
Albus snorted, and quickly covered his face with his Charms book as Madam Pince wafted by.
"How British."
"How true."
Better luck next time in apparition —
Later that week, Albus and Scorpius were trotting lazily back from the library at night, heads heavy from all the potions essay-writing they'd been doing. How many words can you even write about how effective minuscule temperature changes were, anyway? Apparently eight inches worth, in Slughorn's mind.
And in Scorpius' mind, Rose's still frigid treatment was far, far more interesting.
"You know, she might've looked at me for more than three seconds today in potions. And Max says that always means a girl likes you."
"Max said that because any girl who looks at him, likes him."
"Don't ruin my dreams! It's just, it was going so well and now she's back to hating me! I could almost give up on life at this rate." Scorpius whined.
"Oh, come on Scor. You've got to do something." Albus groaned, interrupting what would've been the second lovely rant about Rose and his ~feelings~ of the bright.
"But what is that something?" He huffed in irritation.
Albus rolled his eyes. "Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, I do not give a rat's left arse cheek what you do! Just do something and stop whinging all the time! It's pretty obvious you don't suddenly hate her - either say you're sorry, or say you're not!"
"But I'm not sorry!"
"Then say that!"
"But I don't want to fight with her!"
"Then don't!" He growled as they entered the common room. It was fairly unoccupied this late at night - even Joshua, Max and Alfie had gone up to bed - and they reopened their potions books and took out their half-finished essays around the usual table. "And if you say 'but' one more time—!"
"Alright, fine." Scorpius huffed.
Albus cast a suspicious glance around the room. "Look, Scor, I don't think you're getting it so I'll explains why she's so mad."
"Please, enlighten me!" Scorpius declared harshly, and a group of seventh years glanced back at them. Albus shushed him quickly.
"What it is is— I mean-" He ran a hand through his hair. "Rosie's the only one who ever listened to our parents."
Scorpius furrowed his brow. "What? You mean about chores, or something? Always took out the bins on time? What does that have to do with being mad at me?"
Albus held up a hand to stop Scorpius from another tirade. "No, about the past and stuff. Y'know, she listened to all their stories about things they did."
"Oh. So, like the rumours?"
Albus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Scor, I don't want to fight with you. But, it's what she believes. That's why she's pissed off and why she won't talk."
Scorpius swallowed painfully. He felt his jaw clench and saliva thicken. So, this was going to be what he lost friends over again, was it? The stupid past that none of them even witness? "I see."
Albus stayed mute in the silence, watching his friend with agonised eyes.
"And what about you?"
"Wha— me?" Albus couldn't meet his eyes. "I don't know. Don't you believe any of it? Not any of it at all?"
Scorpius, too, found he suddenly couldn't look at Albus. The back of his eyes stung. The letter from his father burned a hole in his pocket.
Softly, he murmured, "I don't know anymore."
So, I do a lot of history and I have a lot of feelings about believing ancient historians. Anyway.
This was the longest chapter so far! Phew. It took me soooo long to write, but I hope you all liked it! Do you think Rose and Scorpius are going to make up soon?
Thanks for reading! Please review if you've got time and follow for more. Thanks!