Chapter 14There was nothing that could be compared to the blissful aroma at Christmastime. The way the snow fell gently to the ground and muffled all noises, how music was playing nearly everywhere, and how couples huddled together to keep warm.
Amu sat in one of the restaurant's booths, staring longingly out the window at the October leafs being tossed and blown across the dark street. She wanted Christmas to hurry up and get here already. She wanted to feel problem-free and at peace. She wanted nothing but happiness to fill the air.
Instead, she was stuck with a pregnant thirteen year old for a sister and a mom who probably couldn't care less. Midori didn't know about it yet. Once she found out, though, she'd probably make it out to seem like she was the victim in this situation, and how she did everything in her power to make her daughters have a great life, but Ami had to go and ruin it. She'd probably also toss in something about Amu not being there for her sister enough. Midori would say anything to keep the blame off of herself.
The pinkette rolled her eyes. She could see it already.
Thirteen. Ami was thirteen for crying out loud. Amu didn't even know anything about sex at that age – okay, she did, but she wasn't running around town actually doing it.
Amu sighed and began tracing shapes onto the table top with her fingers. Everyone mourns in their own way, maybe going out and partying was Ami's way of coping with the loss of Tsumugu. What she didn't expect to happen was to actually have a consequence in the end.
"A damn big consequence." Amu whispered angrily to herself. It was a child's life Ami was now in control of. She was a child herself and she couldn't even control her own life.
Amu remembered meeting a woman at the mall a couple years earlier. She was sitting in the play area, watching her five young children. The woman turned out to be 21 years old, and had gotten pregnant with her first child at the age of thirteen. She stayed with her boyfriend and had four more kids after that.
Amu found it unreal at the time, and even now she found it hard to believe. Something told her that wouldn't be the case with Ami. In fact, Ami probably didn't even know who the father was.
The thought made Amu's stomach churn.
"Hinamori-san, are you okay?"
The pinkette forced her eyes to un-glue themselves from the table and turned to look at Tadase. He stood with a towel in his hands, watching her carefully.
"I'm fine." Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper. She hoped it wasn't too obvious that she had been crying.
Tadase smiled. "I'm glad. You really should smile! You look most beautiful when you do."
Amu wanted to roll her eyes and glare at him. He was so oblivious. Could he not tell by her voice that she wasn't okay? That she wanted to be alone, otherwise she'd lash out and rip someone to shreds?
"Thanks, Tadase-kun." She forced a smile that seemed convincing enough. Releasing a long, tired sigh, Amu stretched her arms and rolled out of the booth. "I'm going home now. I'll see you later."
Just as she wrapped her warm fingers around the cold door handle, Tadase called after her.
"Hi-Hinamori-san!" He paused as she glanced over her shoulder at him. "Wednesday is the opening night for the carnival...do you... want to go with me?"
Carnival with Tadase, or moping around all day with a hormonal sister who'll demand you to do everything- Hmmm.
Amu smiled. "Sure. I'll meet you there at 6?"
The blond thought for a moment, then smiled back at her, nodding. "6 sounds great. I'll see you there!"
With one more exchange of smiles, the pinkette pushed open the door and disappeared into the dark. She wanted to go home, but there was yet another get-together for the dance committee going on at the library. By the time the dance actually happened, Amu was sure she wouldn't even want to go.
She walked briskly down the sidewalk, plunging further into the inky darkness. She always went a tad slower whenever she passed through a street lamp's warm bubble of light.
Once reaching the library, she treaded up the small staircase leading up to the lobby. Everyone else was already there, half-listening to what Nikaidou was talking about.
Judging by what was written on the white board behind Nikaidou, the theme chosen for the dance ended up being Kukai's idea after all. Alice in Wonderland, it was. Amu couldn't complain. She thought Kukai was a genius for coming up with it.
"...So what I want you to do for the next hour is to draw pictures, make lists of what we need for decorations, just...brainstorm and imagine what the gym could look like! Make it Wonderland, make it real!" Amu was certain Nikaidou wanted to be an inspirational speaker at some time in his life.
"Now, off you go, everyone! Get into your groups!" He shooed everyone away before skipping happily into the shelves of books, probably in search for a cheesy romance novel to get his mind off of how lonely his life was.
Amu sighed. Poor guy.
The pinkette finally found Kukai and Ikuto making their way to the back of the library. She met up with them just as they chose a table to sit at.
"Look who finally decided to show up." Kukai teased as he slid into his seat. Amu noticed he had made sure to make it so that she had to sit next to Ikuto. Sneaky son of a-
"Yup. Sorry, my shift went a little longer than planned." Amu stated with as little emotion as possible before she dropped into the seat beside Ikuto.
The three sat in an awkward silence. Kukai couldn't stop smiling as he looked from Ikuto to Amu, while Amu sat there staring at the table, and Ikuto was drawing something on the back of his hand.
"So..." Kukai began. He seemed oblivious to the moody atmosphere. Not only was Amu upset, but Ikuto also seemed to be in a bad mood. "You two can work together to start designing the gym layout.. in the meantime, I sense nature calling."
Sending Amu one last sneaky look, the brunette slid out of his seat and walked away.
Amu wanted to end it all right then and there. With Ami being pregnant, it just made Amu realize how imperfect her life was – how hard it was to get through a day. So much more stress was headed in her direction, and she was not looking forward to it. She'd rather end it than have to attempt to put up with it, only to be crushed under the weight of the world.
"You ever think about taking up drinking?" Ikuto asked quietly, sounding like he was half-asleep.
"No. It doesn't bring good outcomes." Amu replied in the same, half-dead tone of voice.
"How so?" He asked, continuing to draw on his hand. "It makes you forget all your worries."
"It also makes you so out of it that you climb into bed with the first guy you see and you end up getting pregnant at thirteen years old." The pinkette stated angrily through gritted teeth, staring straight ahead, imagining all the things she wanted to do to Ami to knock some sense into her. She then cleared her throat awkwardly and stared down at her lap. "Just a guess."
Ikuto twirled the pen around in his fingers, glancing over at Amu. "That happened to you?"
Amu shook her head. She really didn't want to tell Ami's secret to the world, but she also really, really wanted to rant and burn off some steam. "My sister's pregnant." She uttered shamefully.
There was a moment of silence before Ikuto started to laugh.
There were numerous emotions flying through Amu as she looked over at him. Hate, annoyance, confusion, and hurt. "What's so funny about that?"
"Teen pregnancy seems to run in the family with you guys."
That hurt more than she thought it would. With everything going on, all the emotions she was bottling up seemed to burst out, resulting in Amu smacking Ikuto across the cheek as hard as she could.
A few students sitting nearby stopped talking and looked over at them, but Amu hardly noticed. She stood out of her seat and glared at Ikuto.
"You have no right to judge my family when you have no idea what we've been through!"
This also caught Nikaidou's attention. He poked his head around a bookshelf and watched the teens, too scared to interfere. He did attempt to speak a few calming words, though. Except no one heard him.
Ikuto chuckled humorlessly while rubbing his cheek. "You act as if you have such a terrible life and that everyone else's families are perfect." He slowly stood from his seat to face the pinkette. "You know, there are other people in the world who are suffering,you're not the only one."
Amu glared at him. She couldn't tell what made her angrier: the fact that he was right, or that there were tears forming in her eyes. She hated feeling like he was in control of her emotions. She felt like a puppet dying to break free from it's strings.
"I'm not feeling sorry for myself, of course I know that other people are struggling, too! But it always seems like whenever life is going good, someone has to go screw that up!" She exclaimed.
"Oh, no. How ever will you survive? Your perfect life is crumbling beneath you."
"You're such a prick."
By now the librarian had waddled over. Her thick glasses were half-way down the bridge of her nose, her gray hair in a tight bun to expose every wrinkle on her face. "Shhh!" She hushed. All the surrounding students cringed, preparing for the angry response.
"Shut up!" Ikuto and Amu yelled in unison, glaring at the old lady.
Amu rolled her eyes and angrily grabbed her bag from off the table, pushing past Ikuto.
"And there she goes running away." He taunted, following after her.
She stepped into the windy night air and whirled around to face him. "I don't understand you one bit, Tsukiyomi! You're so bi-polar! One minute you're a guy who seems likable, the next you're a complete spazz who loves to torment people!"
"Yup, that's me. At least I don't search for ways to make people feel sorry for myself." Ikuto replied lazily, his hands finding their way into the pockets of his jeans.
Amu shook her head at the older male. "You don't know what you're talking about. And how is it that your life is so much worse than mine! You're Tsukiyomi Ikuto! You can get any girl you want - if you stopped being bipolar, that is - and you don't have to worry about losing your house to foreclosure 'cause your family's just rolling in the dough!"
He stepped closer, making the silence more intimidating. "Oh yes, I have such a perfect life. Especially with a bastard of a step-dad who loves taking his anger out.. on me." Ikuto grew quiet, realizing he had said more than he meant to. He mentally kicked himself for saying too much. He kept his personal life a secret for a reason.
The pinkette also went quiet as she watched Ikuto shift uncomfortably.
"Does he.. a-abuse you?"
It just dawned on her that they weren't mad at each other. Not at all, really. They just needed a reason to rant and express all the emotions they were feeling inside. They both needed to get rid of their hurt and anger, and taking it out on each other seemed like the best way to go.
"It still doesn't make it right to belittle other people's problems." Amu scolded, a lot softer now than the tone she was using before.
Ikuto smirked and looked her direction. "But still, the Hinamori girls do sound pretty easy."
Amu went to slap him again, but Ikuto grabbed onto her wrist and didn't let go. They stood with their chests together, eyes burning holes into each other's skulls.
"You're getting abused at home?" Amu asked quietly
"You have a flat chest?"
The pinkette scoffed and tried to pry her hand out of Ikuto's grasp, but he held on tighter. He closed his eyes and exhaled loudly. "I'm sorry. That was.. uncalled for." He opened his eyes and looked down at her, his grip around her wrist loosening. "And everything else I said, too. Sometimes it's necessary to have a good rant. Taking it out on you, well...that wasn't exactly the best choice. And.. I'm sorry."
Amu's eyes softened as she let her hand drop down to her side. They really were two tragedies crumbling more after each passing second.
She cleared her throat and glanced to the side as a tear betrayed her and spilled from her eye. "I'm sorry, too."
Ikuto was hesitant, but pulled his sleeve down over his finger tips and grabbed onto it, lifted it up to Amu's cheek and gently rubbed the tear away.
The pinkette shifted her gaze back up to him and noticed they hadn't moved away from each other. She also noticed she didn't want to move away from him.
Before she could back away like the paranoid side of her brain told her to, Amu stood up on her tip-toes, wrapping her arms around his neck and in return, Ikuto leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.
Amu nearly melted in her spot.
She now knew it wasn't her teenage hormones that were causing the warm feeling inside of her. She liked Tsukiyomi Ikuto, and she wasn't ashamed to admit it.
Author's note: Well then... there you have it. I'm signing off for about a month due to exams. PAAAH. Just kidding :3 but I will be trying to do some serious studying.. I hope. So hold onto your seats! The ride has just begun ;)