Guys, I got 22 reviews for the last chapter. I've no words for how happy that made me. You're all so amazing and I feel guilty for not thanking you enough.
So I'm doing it now. Thank you. For reading, for liking my story, for following it and for reviewing. You guys are the best and this chapter is for you, hopefully it's good!
I woke up the day before Katie's wedding, my arms tightly around Logan and one of my hands covering his stomach. It's been four days since we found out and I still couldn't believe it. I was right after all, we were having the third baby we wanted to bad. Logan was currently keeping our little baby in his belly, safely and warmly surrounded by its daddy and papa that wanted him so much.
I remembered the first few hours after we found out. As soon as Logan said the words I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe it, after all those years of trying and failing, finally our third baby was on the way. After the first few minutes of absolute happiness, Logan broke down. He cried for at least an hour, his face pressed in my chest. Telling me exactly what he felt at that moment.
Logan curled into my side his face pressed tightly in my chest as his body started trembling and tears left his eyes. I put my arms around his shoulders, holding him against me as he cried. Logan's hands had fallen onto his belly and were tenderly caressing, as if he was holding our baby instead of his stomach. I wanted that too.
I slipped my hand under the blanket and under Logan's hospital gown, wanting to actually feel the skin that was closest to my baby inside of Logan. He pulled away a little to stare at me, tears slowly flowing down his cheeks. I wasn't doing much better myself, feeling an all too familiar wetness in the corners of my eyes as I gently rubbed with my thumb over his stomach.
He reached out, his arms once again coming around my neck to pull me to him. I let my hand stay on his belly. "K-kendall, I l-love y-you so m-much," Logan stuttered between two sobs that were coming from his throat now. "T-thank you f-for t-taking m-me back and n-not h-hating me."
"Shh," I soothed. "It's okay, sweetie. I love you, I could never hate you."
He pulled me closer than I already was and hid his face in the crook of my neck. Luckily it were happy tears he was crying, so I wasn't really worried about him. I held him against me, feeling so intensely happy. I was ecstatic. Logan was pregnant, he was carrying our little baby in his belly right now. He was giving life to the third baby we'd been trying to have for so long and now it was finally true.
"Kendall," He whispered when he stopped crying after a minute or ten. "You've no idea how much I worship you. It's all thanks to you this happened and I feel so incredibly happy right now, though I really don't deserve it after what I did."
"You deserve it too," I whispered in his ear. "Promise me to be careful, I don't want to go through everything we've been through the past months again because we lost the baby."
"I promise," He whispered instantly. "I'll watch what I eat and drink and I'll never lie to you about my health again."
I nodded and rubbed his back, wanting to hold him close like this until the baby was born just to make sure Logan was healthy and happy and pregnant until it was the right time to give birth. We hugged each other for a long time, sometimes Logan would let out a sob and cry a little, but neither of us ever let go of the other. We were too wrapped up in each other to care about anything else right now.
I slowly pulled away when I felt my muscles starting to cramp from staying in the same position for too long. "No," Logan said desperately. "Don't go."
I didn't answer, just turned slight to swing my legs onto the bed and lean next to Logan against the mattress. He instantly pressed against my side and put his head on my shoulder, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist to keep me exactly where he wanted to have me. Right next to him. "I'm never leaving you again," He whispered. "Even if you murder someone, I don't care. I just want to be with you."
I kissed the top of his head multiple times and nuzzled his hair. "I love you," I said softly. He pressed impossibly closer, his face hid completely in my chest. I slowly ran my fingers through his hair and hummed 'You're beautiful' until he fell asleep. I kept my arms around him, wanting him close in his sleep as well. I then remembered gestational diabetes. I still had to ask Logan about that.
Yeah, the diabetes. When the doctor came back later with the new medicine for Logan, they explain to me that the first medicine -beta blockers- were bad for the baby. This new one was okay though, it wouldn't harm Logan or our little child. I'd asked what gestational diabetes exactly way and got the following answer:
Gestational diabetes, also known as pregnancy diabetes, is a temporary kind of diabetes that will disappear after the birth of the baby. Logan was supposed to check his blood glucose level three times a day, before the meals, to check if everything was normal. If it was not, he had to give himself a shot with the kit he got. I had seen him using it and was pretty impressed.
Logan coldheartedly pushed a lancet into his skin and put the drop of blood that came free on a monitor that would tell him what his levels were at the moment. Then, if he needed to, he took the insulin pen, decided on dose of glucose he needed at that moment by dialing the numbers at one end of the pen and stabbed himself with it. After five seconds, all the fluid would be in his body and he was able to eat normally.
He didn't even flinch when he pushed the needle in his flesh, like he didn't even felt it. Maybe it was because he was a doctor... Anyway, he had to write down the results in a diary and mail them to Dr. Young once a week, he was the doctor we always went to when Logan was pregnant.
We talked about that too. About working and going to university. Logan immediately agreed with me when I said I wanted him to be careful. After thinking of a solution for a while, I reluctantly told him it might be good if he worked two short days, instead of one full one. In my eyes he was away from me longer in this way, but if it meant less pressure and stress on Logan, I would go on with it. For our baby.
We called Dr. Ewing and told him Logan was pregnant and explained him our plan. He understood and said he would handle it at the hospital. He was the first person we told Logan was pregnant and only because it was absolutely necessary. Logan and I had a silent agreement to not tell anyone until the third trimester, when the chance of a miscarriage was lower. We just didn't want to curse it. Neither of us would be able to handle it if we lost this baby and explaining to other people would only make it worse.
I was terrified we would loose the baby. We were so happy right now, the last few days were some of the best of my life. Logan was doing better than ever, his eyes shining constantly, bright enough to light a room. Sometimes, when he thought I wasn't looking, he would slowly rub his stomach, all the while smiling down at it.
But what would happen to him if he lost our baby? Would he be able to live that down? Would it be like the past few months, that he pushed me away again to not deal with the pain? Would it be like the months after Jett happened? Would he turn into a mute, terrified mess again? Or would he find a new way to deal with his feelings? Another way that would slowly kill me inside as I watched him crumble down to a soulless human being?
I couldn't do that again. I've felt how it was to think Logan was dead, I knew exactly what it was like to have him away from me, I knew how it was to loose him, to live without him. It was hardly a life. I wanted to prevent that, but to do that I needed Logan to be careful. I'd searched online for all food that were bad for the baby and put the list on the fridge. Logan was forbidden to take any of it and he agreed, for the biggest part. He hated me for taking his precious morning coffee away.
He lived with it, but only because it was better for the baby.
Today we had to go to the doctor for the first check up. He would tell us how far the pregnancy was along and search for any complications. Like the first two, Logan had to go to him once a week, because this was a high risk pregnancy after all. Even more because of the diabetes that was added to the picture.
And Logan would get an ultrasound. The best invention the medical world ever did in my opinion, because now we would get to see our little baby and hear his or her little heartbeat. I was pretty excited for it and hoped everything was alright, I was done with all the worrying for a while. Definitely.
I sighed and took a look at the clock. 8 am. It was okay though, today the kids didn't have to go to school. Katie was taking them and Lizzy to the wedding rehearsal and tonight they would sleep over at her house so they could be dressed up and all in the morning. The only thing Logan and I had to worry about was being on time.
And we had the whole day to ourselves.
I grinned, knowing exactly how we were going to be spending it. I never read anything about sex being bad for the baby. The opposite was true, the baby would see his parents liked each other a lot. I did read that somewhere, there was no way Logan could tell me otherwise. Not that he ever said no to love making...
I kissed his cheek and carefully slipped out of bed, not wanting him to wake up yet. I quietly got out of my boxers and grabbed a towel before going into the bathroom. I got in the shower and turned the water on hot, loving the burning water on my skin in the morning. I went through my normal routine and decided I had to shave today. Logan liked it when I shaved. And he liked love making better after I shaved. He was so weird.
After I shaved I got out of the shower and dried myself quickly. Keira and Kegan could wake up any minute and I wanted to be done by then. We had to keep them busy until Dak picked them up at 11. I went back into the room, smiling when I saw Logan turning towards me, his eyes open. "That's definitely a good sight to wake up to," He said and climbed out of bed, walking over to me.
I smiled and put my arms around his waist, smiling down at him. "Morning, sweetie." I leaned in and kissed him gently, then pulled away.
Logan pouted and I laughed. "I don't want any children walking in on me when I'm naked, Logie. That's awkward."
"I like it when you're naked."
I chuckled and gave him a quick kiss. "Later."
Logan's face lit up and he pulled me back, cupping my face in his hands. "I love it when you just shaved," He said and put his arms around my neck, pressing his cheek against mine.
I let him hug me for a while, but eventually pulled away. "Still naked," I explained.
"Oh, right. I'll take a shower now. See you downstairs." He gave me a last kiss and then went into the bathroom. I dressed and went to Kegan's room, finding him playing on the ground with some cars. He was sweet like that, just playing on his own when everyone else was still sleeping.
"Hey, buddy," I said and picked him up. "Did you sleep well?"
He nodded, but he was still too tired to answer. Maybe he just woke up too. I helped him get dressed in his favorite shirt and pants, before taking him to the bathroom. "Brush your teeth good, okay? I'm going to check before you get breakfast."
He nodded and I gave him his toothbrush, then went off to Keira's room. She was still asleep, lying on her side, face turned away from me. I sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook her. "Wake up, Keke. You're going to rehearse auntie Katie's wedding today, remember? You get to wear your pretty dress again."
When Keira got home after fitting her dress she was so excited and couldn't wait for the wedding. She liked wearing it and told us all about it, but her description wasn't so good and I still had no idea what it looked like exactly. Keira was happy though, and that was what mattered.
She turned on her back and smiled sleepily. I helped her sitting up. "What do you want to wear today?"
"The stripes."
"Stripes it is," I said and pulled the shirt with pink and purple stripes out of the closet. "Are you going to do it yourself?"
"Yes."
"Okay, baby. Don't forget to brush your teeth, I'm going to inspect you today."
She nodded and I left. About three weeks ago I noticed that if I left them alone when they were brushing their teeth, they would just stop doing it and start playing together. When I found out, I told them I was going to inspect their teeth and if they weren't as they should be, they would go to bed earlier until they did it right.
They did what I said after that. Sometimes being a father wasn't so much fun.
I went downstairs and started breakfast, just cereal for a chance, I didn't feel like working today. I grimaced at the word 'work'; I had tons if work to do. The storm completely ruined my garden. I almost cried when I saw it, all those days I worked on it were for nothing. I had to start all over again. The past few days Logan and I threw all the dead plants away and tried to save the ones that were still in the ground. Yesterday we were finally done and it was so horrible.
Logan had been my inspiration for that garden, he was the reason it turned out so beautifully and I couldn't take it it was all gone now. It helped Logan was standing right next to me when I looked over my ruined garden, at least I had him back. He promised to help me with rebuilding it and would come with me to buy plants.
I sighed and put the bowls on the table. When Logan went inside to use the bathroom, I checked up on my secret place and surprisingly, it was still there. It was exactly the same as before the storm, only the pillows were wet, of course. I still didn't know if I as going to show it to Logan or not. It was my place, a secret place no one knew about and I felt safe there. I feared that if I let Logan in it wouldn't feel the same anymore. I didn't want that.
Maybe I would do it today...
Kegan came down first and tugged on my leg. "Papa, look at my teeth! They're really good!" He said enthusiastically.
I smiled. He came to me about it, then I was sure he really did it. If he didn't do it, I had to force him to open his mouth. Kids were so easy to read. I crouched down in front of me. "Okay, buddy. Show me."
He opened his mouth as wide as he could and I pulled on an inspecting face. "Looks great, Kegie. Good job!" He beamed and closed his mouth again. "Go eat your breakfast. Do you know if Keira's ready yet?"
"She's almost done," He told me.
"Okay." I sat down in my chair at the table. Logan and Keira came down together only a minute later. "Keira, did you brush your teeth?"
"Yes. Daddy checked."
I looked up at Logan and he nodded. "Okay, come eat then."
They sat down too and we ate breakfast, talking about Katie's wedding a bit and that she was going to be a mommy soon. They were excited to see their new cousin and I hoped they would be just as happy to get another sibling.
"Why don't we've a mommy?" Kegan asked curiously.
"Would you want one?" Logan asked.
"No, I want you," He said and Keira nodded in agreement. "But why don't we've a mommy?"
"We didn't need one," I said while looking at Logan.
"Why would you need a mommy?" Kegan asked confused.
"Babies come from mommies," Keira told him. His eyes grew wide in fear. "Then where is ours?"
"Listen, Kegan," I started. "Normally, babies grow in the belly of a woman."
"How does it get there?" He asked curiously.
"When two grown-up people love each other very much they… cuddle together and then the baby appears."
"Oh."
"Daddy and I didn't need a lady to get you, because you two grew in daddy's belly."
I reached out behind me and opened the small closet we had in the kitchen. I grabbed one of the photo books and searched in it until I found a picture of me and Logan while he was pregnant with Keira. I placed the book in front of him and pointed to it. Logan grimaced when hesaw it. Hedidn'tlike it to go on pictures at all while he'd been pregnant. He said he didn't want memories of when he was 'fat'.
"So daddy is the mommy?" Kegan asked. Logan bit his lip and looked away.
"In one way, yes. But daddy's a guy, Kegan. A very special one, because he could get you and Keira."
He nodded again and looked up at Logan. "I don't want a mommy when I can have two daddies," He said and climbed into Logan's lap. He stood on Logan's legs and wrapped his little arms around Logan's neck. "Don't cry, daddy. Papa always looks sad when you do that," He whispered a little too loud.
"He does, doesn't he?" Logan said softly after glancing at me over Kegan's head. "You're sweet, little guy."
He smiled and kissed Logan's cheek. "Logie love."
"Logie love, baby." Logan held Kegan tightly, but released him when Kegan started squirming.
"Papa, give the book, I wanna see more," Kegan said. I gave him the book and het started going through it. "Is that Keira?" He asked, pointing to a tiny baby in a bassinet.
"Yes, that's Keira."
"Where are my pictures?"
"Your pictures are in the next book, but let's finish this one first, okay?"
Kegan nodded, giggling softly at some of the pictures he saw. Keira was looking too, interested by the memories they held.
"Look there's Keira at our wedding," Logan said, pointing to a little toddler in a pink dress.
"Where was I when you married?" Kegan asked.
"Right here." Logan put his finger on the stomach of picture Logan. "You weren't born yet, but you were there with us."
We watched more pictures and the kids occasionally asked questions about them. Both were really interested in Kegan's pictures, the ones where he was lying in an incubator. I explained them Kegan was born too early and hat to stay in the hospital for a long time before he was allowed to go home. I didn't tell them why Logan give birth to him so early. That was a story for when they were older. Much older.
By the time we finished looking through the picture books Dak was here to pick them up. I gave my brother in law the overnight bag I packed for them and Logan and I said goodbye to our kids, then they were gone.
As soon as the door closed I went back to the kitchen and wrapped my arms around Logan's waist from behind. He was standing by the counter, just finishing up some of the dishes. He moaned quietly when he felt my lips on his neck. "Three hours until we've to go to the doctor's," I muttered, "You're gonna be sore.
He moaned loader and turned in my embrace, instantly going for my lips. I put my hands under his thighs and lifted him onto the counter, pushing his legs apart so I could stand between them. Logan kissed me eagerly, his fingers getting tangled in my hair.
I kissed him back hard, eager to get intimate with Logan. He pulled at my hair and wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me closer. I smirked into the kiss, I forced my tongue in his mouth and pressed all sensitive spots, making Logan putty in my hands. I ran my hands down his chest and slipped them under his shirt, quickly trailing them up to his chest.
Logan was melting under my hands, his grip on my hair getting looser. I rubbed his chest, thumbing his nipples. Logan whined softly, his hands falling to my shoulders. I pulled away from his lips, kissing over his jaw to his neck. I found sucked gently on his neck, my hands traveling down his chest and tracing my fingers over his belly before settling my hands on his hips.
Logan got some of his self control back and started unbuttoning my shirt. I growled and scraped with my teeth over his skin, making him whimper and shiver for a moment before continuing undressing me. I moved up again, sucking his earlobe in my mouth and softly biting in it. I moaned at the feeling of Logan's soft hands on my chest and squeezed his hips, pulling him closer.
I had enough of his ear and captured his lips again, not bothering with asking access and just invading his mouth. Logan pushed his nails in my skin, I growled again and moved my hands lower, my fingers slipping under the waistband of his jeans. Logan gasped in surprise and I chuckled, amused by his reaction. "What's the matter, Logie?" I whispered seductively as I cupped his cheeks and squeezed. "Don't you want me to take you right here?"
"Ken-Kendall, f-fuck," He moaned and put his arms around my neck.
I smirked. "Certainly."
Logan gasped as I picked him up, wrapping his arms and legs tightly around me. My intention was to carry him all the way up to our room, but once Logan recovered from the shock he began kissing my neck and shoulder, slowly getting lower to my collar bones. My mind fogged and instead of going to the stairs, I pressed him up against the wall, loving the moan Logan let out from the feeling of being pressed between me and the wall.
I caught his lips and kissed him forcefully, showing him exactly who he belonged to and where he was going to be for the rest of his life. I rolled my lips, moaning when I felt the tight material of my jeans rubbing against my hard on. I pulled one hand out of his pants and put my fingers on his lips. "Suck."
I watched how Logan parted his lips a tiny bit, his tongue escaping the warm inside of his mouth to give small licks to the tips of my fingers. He stared in my eyes, knowing exactly what he was doing to me and absolutely loving it. He bit softly in my finger, before sucking them inside his mouth and swirling his tongue around them in the most sensual and dirty way that would've made me pee my pants if I wasn't so turned on.
However, we were rudely interrupted by our 'best friends.' "Hello!" Carlos yelled as soon as he opened the front door. I cursed myself for not locking it.
"Go away!" I yelled, smirking at Logan when he started blushing furiously. "We're busy!"
They walked into the kitchen a moment later and looked awkward when they saw the position we were in; Logan pressed up against the wall, his arms and legs around me, the front of my shirt hanging open, one of my hands in Logan's pants and the other in his mouth. "So you really were busy..." Carlos said uncomfortably, looking down at his shoes. "We'll come back later."
"No," I sighed and pulled away from Logan, gently helping him back on his feet. "Just tell us and then stay the fuck away for the rest of the day." I took his hand and led him to the table, I sat down and pulled him in my lap. I bit back a moan when he shifted a bit to get comfortable and accidentally brushed over my still hard member with his butt. Or maybe not so accidental.
"Okay," Carlos said happily. He and James sat down too. "We're going out tonight."
Logan and I kept silent, until I realized Carlos expected an answer. "...And?"
"We were wondering if you wanted to join us," James said.
I looked at Logan, I didn't mind going, but if he wasn't up for it I wasn't going either. Logan just shrugged. "Sure. Where are we going?"
"We don't know yet. That's why we came here. We agreed it was lame Dak didn't have a bachelor party and we decided to create one ourselves, but then without Dak, because he's a loser."
I laughed, I couldn't help but agree to that a little. Dak let himself be bossed around by Katie and didn't do anything about it. "Sounds good."
Logan shifted in my lap again and now I knew he was doing it on purpose. I casually dropped my hand on his leg and rubbed slowly up and down, putting a little more pressure to warn him. "Yeah, it's a great idea. I'll drive back, then you guys can drink," Logan lied easily. Driving back was a good excuse to not drink any alcohol tonight without needing to explain to James and Carlos why he wasn't drinking.
"Thanks, Logan," James said. "Well, Carlos and I will go home and find a place to go to, then you two can go finish your... business."
They both grinned widely and I rolled my eyes. "What time do we have to be ready?" I asked.
"Around nine, I think. We'll come here when we're ready."
I nodded. "Okay. See you tonight."
"Have fun," Carlos said. James smirked and then they were gone. Stupid friends, like they weren't going to do exactly the same. I bet that if I walked over there in ten minutes they would be fucking too.
As soon as the door closed behind them Logan turned in my lap until he was straddling me and attacked my lips. I slipped my hands in his pants again, picking up where we left off. He moaned, his hands moving over my chest, his fingers tracing my abs. "Not funny what you did," I muttered between his kisses.
"No idea what you're talking about," He whispered innocently.
I growled and squeezed his cheeks, forcing his crotch into mine. "Grinding into me in front of our friends. Not cool, baby."
Logan giggled and kissed my neck, licking a line up to my ear. "You loved it," He whispered and bit my earlobe.
I moaned and pulled him to me again. Logan got the hint and rolled his hips against mine, creating the friction we were both craving. He left my ear to go back to my lips, kissing me greedily. I moved with him, distracting him with my hands on his ass and quickly taking over control. He kept grinding into me, faster and harder as our kiss turned wilder.
I didn't notice until it was too late, but when Logan grinded his hips against mine the chair started wobbling and at one particularly hard roll of his hips the chair fell over. I quickly grabbed Logan, an instinctive reaction to protect him and the baby. I groaned when the chair hit the ground, a sharp pain shooting up my spine.
Logan started laughing again while I was perishing of the pain, the chair pushing painfully in my back. After a minute Logan noticed I wasn't having as much fun as he was having and looked at me worriedly. "You okay?"
"No," I groaned. "Get off me."
He did and kneeled down next to me, carefully helping me off the chair. "I'm sorry, Kendall," He whispered when he saw my painful face. "I didn't mean to laugh while you're hurt."
"It's okay. I think it's over-" I whimpered in pain when I tried straightening my back and quickly bent again, the pain in my lower back killing me.
Logan looked at my worriedly and came closer, carefully wrapping his arms around my waist. "Where does it hurt?" He asked softly.
"Below, but don't touch it, it h-hurt-aaahh," I whimpered again when I felt his hands pushing in my back. He probably did it gently, but it still felt like an elephant was stamping on my lower back.
"Poor baby," Logan whispered in my ear. "Try to relax, I'll fix it."
I nodded, pressing my face in the crook of his neck and relaxed my body, while every muscle told me not to. He softly kissed my neck, effectively distracting me from the pain. After a minute I hardly felt his fingers pushing and probing my back. I was just about to tell Logan it was over, when he hit hard on a certain spot. "Oh! Fuck!" I yelled and pulled away from Logan not wanting anymore pain like that.
"Sorry," He said apologetically. "But it worked, right?"
"No! It fucking hurt- hey, I don't feel pain anymore!"
He smiled. "That was the point."
I slowly tried standing up, my back felt tender and I probably had to be careful for a while, but it didn't hurt and I could smile again. Oh, how I loved having a doctor as my husband. "Thank you," I said gratefully and pulled Logan towards me for a hug.
He smiled and rested his head on my chest. "You're welcome."
I put my chin on his head and stared out of the window. "I don't think god wants us to make love today."
"I can change that," He said smugly, running his hands over my stomach.
"I'm not sure if that's a good idea with my back and all..."
"Sure it is..." He whispered seductively. "I'll ride you... You don't have to do anything..."
I moaned quietly, my semi erect member jumping back to life. Logan smirked, one of his hands traveling down to the front of my pants and slowly fondly me. He stopped after a minute and took my hand, tugging on it to get my attention. "Let's go upstairs."
I nodded and let Logan pull me to the stairs, up to our room. I closed the door behind us and encircled Logan's waist, pressing up against him and kissing him deeply. He put his arms around my neck and turned us 180 degrees until I was with my back towards the bed. He hooked his thumbs in my shirt and pushed my already open shirt off my shoulders.
While he started working on the button of my jeans I pulled his shirt up over his head. It got stuck on his arms, since he was still working on my jeans. I popped his button and pushed his pants down as I stepped out of mine. My eyes wandered over the beautiful body of the love of my life and smirked when I once again realized it was all mine.
Logan looked up at me, his eyes glued to my face. I put my hands on his cheeks, gently cradling his face before I leaned in to kiss him softly and rested my forehead against his. "I love you."
"I love you too," He whispered, his hands gripping my wrists. I kissed him again, this time deeper and more passionate, eager to get on with this and be close to him again.
Logan pushed me down on the bed, straddling me the moment I laid down. He reached over me and grabbed the lube. He squeezed some onto his hand and divided the lube over my member, before sitting over it and guiding it to his entrance. "You aren't prepared," I whispered, not wanting him to have pain.
"I'll be fine, Kendall. We made love so much the last few days I don't really need any preparation."
I smirked. "True." I put my hands on his hips to held him steady as he slowly lowered himself down on me. He moaned quietly when I was fully in, taking a moment to get used to the feeling before he started rolling his hips. He put his hands on my chest to brace himself when he started moving faster, his eyes closed in pleasure and concentration.
I ran my hands over his sides to his legs and up again, pulling him forward when I felt the urge to kiss him grow. I put my arms around his waist and connected our lips, tongue and teeth quickly coming in to add at the pleasure we were experiencing. Logan rolled his hips and I thrust up shallowly, still not completely released from the pain in my back.
Neither of us lasted very long, the long foreplay that was severally interrupted taking away some of the need. I pumped Logan when I felt I was getting close, bringing him over the edge just before I released myself inside Logan. He collapsed on top of me, his ear pressed to the left side of my chest where my heart was. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed the top of his head, patiently waiting until he caught his breathe again.
"We shouldn't have showered this morning," He muttered. "Now we've to go again before we go to Dr. Young."
I chuckled. "We could go together."
"Then we'll end up doing dirty things again."
"What's wrong with that? We're under the water, we can get clean and have some more fun."
He smiled. "Okay."
I ran my fingers through his hair and kept my arm tight around his waist. I was perfectly fine with having him on top of me for a while, the fact he was close to me kept me calm and made me worry less. At least I was there when something happened with him or the baby. I wanted to feel Logan's stomach, search for any sign of a baby bump, but sadly the baby was too small to form a bump in his daddy's belly.
We laid there for a while, but then Logan noticed we only had an hour left before we had to be at the hospital for the first check up. We got up and showered together quickly, we didn't have time to do the things I wanted to do. I would just make time for that later, maybe when we got back from the hospital or when we were at the place James and Carlos would take us to.
Forty minutes later we were in the car on our way to the doctor. Logan was excited and didn't try to hide it at all; he wants to see our baby. I wanted that too, but there was still that fear something was wrong and Logan would be devastated once he found out. Or maybe he wasn't pregnant at all, the only sign was the diabetes, but who knew, maybe it was just a normal type 2 after all. We didn't exactly do a pregnancy test or something...
I held Logan's hand as we walked inside, always feeling small when I stood in the big hall of the hospital. Logan pulled me to the elevators and brought us to the right section, after coming here so many times I still got lost. I just didn't take the effort to remember the way. He leaned into my side as we sat in the waiting room that was really quiet. Only one other couple was there, but that lady was a lot further along then Logan was. She was probably having multiples, since her bump was really large. Or her baby was just fat.
"Hey, Kendall. I was thinking..."
"Do I have to be afraid?"
He rolled his eyes. "No. I was just wondering if we have to go to a gay club tonight. I've never actually thought of us as two guys being together."
I raised an eyebrow. "So you think you're a girl? That's a first."
He chuckled. "You're a jerk. No, seriously. It was always just Kendall and Logan and we never really had someone who reacted badly about us being together. It was just accepted, which was why I was never worried about it. But if we're going out I don't really know what to do. I mean, we're two guys being together, are we even allowed in a normal club if we act like a couple? Are we forced to go to an all-man club? That would be weird right, because girls can get into a gay club. But can guys come into a lesbian club? I don't think so... Hey why-"
I laughed and pulled him against me. His little rant has been so funny. "You're adorable," I said and kissed his forehead.
"Yeah, but what do we do Kendall? I do really want to go out, but-"
I stopped him from talking any more by kissing him softly. "Stop. We're going where ever we want to go."
"But-"
I kissed him again, gently running my fingers though his hair. "Shut up," I whispered lovingly.
"Kend-"
"We go to a club that looks fun. If it's a gay club, we won't have any trouble. If it's a normal club, we go inside and we dance. If anyone has a problem with it, we'll deal with it then."
Logan stared at me as if he saw the sun for the first time. "I guess that works."
I smiled and nuzzled our noses together, making Logan giggle. "I rather go to a straight club though."
"Hmm. Why?" Logan mumbled and moved his hands up under my shirt.
"I don't want all those hot gay men hitting on you."
"And you think I don't get hit on in a straight club?" His eyes widened a little as he started blinking cutely, like those females always do in movies.
"Damn," I whispered and kissed him. Logan responded eagerly, opening his mouth before I could ask for it and moved with me as I pleased.
"Ah. Can't wait till tonight," I muttered when I pulled away. "You're gonna be all mine for the whole night and everyone will see it."
"I was going to be all yours even if there was no one to watch." He trailed his fingers over my arm.
"I know, sweetie, and I love you for it. It's just that I finally have you back again and I want the whole world to see you're mine."
He smiled at me and snuggled his face into my chest. "I love you."
"I love you too, Logie."
He looked up at me and stole a quick kiss. "When we're done here, we should go buy flowers and plants to put in the garden. I miss how it looked like before, you really did a good job, Kendall."
I grinned widely. "Really?"
"Yes, it was beautiful and I'm sure you'll make it even more beautiful than it was before. And we're close to the center now anyways."
"I really like that, Logie. Thank you."
"'Everything for you, sweetie.'"
"Hey! That's my line!"
"Doesn't mean I don't mean it."
I smiled happily and kissed him gently. "I love you."
"I love you too," He said softly.
"Mr. Knight?" Dr. Young called into the waiting room. We got up, Logan slipped his hand in mine and together we walked off to the examination room. We shook hands with the doctor, Logan sat on the table and I took the chair next to it.
"Can you pull your shirt up? I'm on a tight schedule today, so we can talk while doing the ultrasound and most of the things I'm going to tell you, you already now. Do I have to call you dr. Knight now?"
"Not yet, two months left and then I'll be done. Finally."
"That's a good thing. I suggest you don't start working for a while. It's better for you and the baby to stay calm and relaxed during the whole pregnancy, being a doctor is stressful and with your diabetes it's really not the best thing to do."
I agreed with the doctor immediately. Logan bit his lip and nodded too, clearly a lot less happy with this advice. He looked at me and smiled sadly, but I knew he knew it was for the best. It was a disappointment for him, I got that. After for years of studying he wanted to finally start working as a real doctor instead of an intern, but I also knew Logan gave more about our baby more than about being a doctor.
And the idea of having Logan home for six months, even longer if he had to rest after giving birth, made me very, very happy.
Dr. Young squeezed gel onto Logan's stomach and grabbed the transducer that was going to show us our baby. I grabbed Logan's hand, getting more nervous for the moment of truth. I wanted to see our baby and I was so scared we may not even have one, that the female doctor from Sunday made a mistake and we're so happy for nothing. Logan was nervously chewing on his bottom lip while he stared intently at the screen for any sign of our baby.
After a minute he sighed in relieve and his face lit up, letting me know he saw what we were looking for, although it was pretty invisible to me until the doctor pointed it out. Logan never had an ultrasound this early in his pregnancy and the black spot on the monitor looked more like a bean. It was cute, I loved it.
Dr. Young changed the angle and now we had a better view on it. I could see tiny limbs now. I grinned and squeezed Logan's hand, he smiled at me but quickly looked back at the screen. I turned back to the monitor too, wanting to see as much of our baby as possible in the short time we had. "I would say you're about six weeks pregnant," Dr. Young said. "Everything looks great."
He pulled the transducer away and Logan sighed, looking at me pitifully. The doctor gave him some paper towels to wipe his stomach and then went to his desk where Logan's folder was lying open. He took a look at the numbers Logan wrote down about his blood glucose level. "I think if you go on like this, everything will be fine, Logan. If your levels change suddenly, check every hour for the rest of the day to make sure they go back to normal."
Logan nodded seriously.
The doctor turned to me and showed me a small orange box. "This is an emergency kit. Unfortunately it's possible that Logan's levels drop when he's asleep, that's what I think happened on Sunday. He'll start whimpering and sweating and will pass out. As soon as you notice either of these things, you have to use this." He handed me the kit.
In the next five minutes he explained me how to use it and what signs I should see after I gave Logan the shot. If he didn't turn to normal in ten minutes, I had to call 911. If he did wake up and was able to answer the questions I asked him, I had to get him something sweet with lots of sugar to eat, in that way he wouldn't have a hypoglycemia again. "The best things to give him are sweets or a sugary fruit juice or energy drink. Basically everything with sugar is good."
I nodded, looking at Logan. He was looking down at the floor, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. I was going to ask him about that later. "The last advice I have is to eat healthy. And then I don't only mean the kind of food you eat, but also how often. The best thing to do is eat three meals a day and eat a snack if you're hungry, preferably fruit. Never skip a meal and be careful with sugar. You don't want your levels to get too high. Check if you're not sure. Drink lots of water and try some light exercises. Nothing too crazy, because that's dangerous for the baby."
Logan nodded. He probably knew all this already, but I was glad the doctor told it anyway. Now I could keep an eye out too and make sure everything was okay. I was also glad with the emergency kit, now I wasn't completely helpless when something happened to Logan. We made another appointment for next week and said goodbye to Dr. Young, before walking back to the car.
As soon as we were both seated I started the car and started driving to the garden centre I always went to when I needed things for the garden. "Why were you so uncomfortable when the doctor was talking about the emergency kit?" I asked when I had to stop for red light.
"I don't like it you have to do yet another thing for me," He said softly.
"I don't mind doing things for you," I told him.
"I know that, but it makes me feel so helpless and dependent. If something happens to me, you are responsible for helping me and I don't want to put that kind of pressure on you. You'll beat yourself up if something goes wrong and I don't want that."
The light was green and I had to keep my eyes on the road, but I reached out for Logan's hand and squeezed gently. "I'll be fine, sweetie. I'm getting pretty good at handling situations like sunday. I had enough practice. Did you ever wonder why it's always you who ends up in the hospital and not me?"
"I'm glad it's me, Kendall," He whispered. "I've studied whole my life to be a doctor, I know what to do in every situation, but I don't see myself handling like you do if something happens to you. I admire that."
I kept quiet for a moment and ran my thumb over his knuckles. "Maybe I'll never have to use the shot, Logie. If you follow that diet and all."
"I will," He promised. "I never want to feel like I felt on Sunday."
I smiled at him and pulled his hand to my mouth to give it a kiss. A few minutes later we reached the center and went inside. I inhaled deeply, loving the smell here. Logan took a cart and we started our search for plants and flowers. "Do you have an idea of what you want?" Logan asked as he looked around.
I thought about it, then slowly nodded. "I want colors. A lot of different colors, sorts and sizes. But we'll need more small flowers than big ones."
He nodded. "Okay. I'll go look for... well, everything."
I grinned and took the other side, quickly finding the plants I was looking for. I needed dahlias, lots and lots of dahlias. And roses, definitely roses. And tulips and lilies and rosemary. And I wanted apple trees. I didn't had those before, but I fell hard for apple blossom when I saw that in a documentary on TV. And to have your own apples was a major plus.
I carried the flowers to the cart and saw that Logan put some in it already. Lavender and wisteria. I smiled, loving both the flowers and went back to get the other plants I picked out. When I put the second load in the cart, Logan got back too, carrying two large sunflowers. I grinned widely, happy that he remembered my favorite flower and quickly took them from him when I saw he was having troubles with them. "Thanks," He said gratefully. "Look, I got seeds too! Then you can plant some yourself."
I put the flowers down and pulled him in for a deep kiss, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. He sighed into it and moved with me, his hands sliding into my hair. "Fuck, I love you," I whispered when I pulled away and leaned in again for another kiss, this time softer.
"They're just seeds," He muttered shyly.
I smiled, kissing his forehead. "I think we've enough for today. We'll have to come back for more, but this is all I can plant in one day."
"All we can plant in one day, you mean. I'm helping you."
"So you can poison those poor flowers again?"
"Kendall! That was one time! I know the difference between weed poison and plant food now."
"We'll see, Logie. But you're not doing the heavy work. And we have to grab some food on the way home. You need to eat, it's been six hours since breakfast."
He nodded. "Okay. Let's go pay."
We did that and loaded everything into the car, the two small apple trees only just fitting in the car. We picked up some sandwiches at the bakery on the corner from our house where I always got those good cookies. Once home we brought everything to the backyard and ate on the grass. The weather was beautiful, like the storm never happened.
When we were done eating we started working. I was doing all the hard work, shoveling the ground and digging the holes where the plants had to come into the ground. Logan was taking all the paper and bindings of the plants, he was having a lot of fun, especially when I took my shirt off to get a bit cooler in this heat.
I was done with the ground and put the plants in the right spots, creating exactly the image I had in my mind. I took the branches of the wisteria and tangled them in the fence. The two young trees on either side and the sunflowers between them. I put the middle large plants in front of them and the smallest, more delicate flower in the front. It was a cheerful sight and I was happy with the result. I fell down in the grass and gave instructions to Logan who was giving them water. He laid down in the grass next to me and put his head on my stomach.
"It's really beautiful, Kendall," He said impressed.
"You helped too, you know."
"I barely did anything, you did the real work."
"You picked out flowers."
"You made them look beautiful."
I chuckled and played with his hair. "Thanks, Logie."
He turned his head and smiled at me before closing his eyes and enjoying the sun on his skin. "What time is it?" I muttered.
"Six thirty."
I sighed. "We have to get ready for tonight."
"Hm. Not feeling like getting up yet."
"We'll have to, sweetie. We have to shower, again, and eat something before James and Carlos get here."
He looked up at me, pouting. I smiled at him and sat up, his head falling into my lap. I bent over and pressed a kiss to his lips, remembering I had plans to show him my secret place. In one second I took the decision; I wanted to show him. I wanted Logan to see the result of the pain and loneliness I felt when he wasn't here. "I want to show you something," I whispered to his lips.
Logan looked up curiously and sat up, interested in what I wanted to show him. I helped him on his legs and held his hand tightly. I could feel his surprise when I walked towards the hedge instead of the house, but I ignored it and looked to the ground to hide my expression. I climbed through the small opening, looking around for a moment to see if everything was still as it was supposed to be, before helping Logan inside.
I sat down on my pillow and waited for Logan to take place on his. He was at a loss of words, his mouth hanging open as he looked around. He dropped onto the pillow and gaping at the place I created. All the dahlias, the pictures, the light spots dancing in the grass because of the leaves that put the roof over this hole. My memory cave.
I was too deep in thoughts to talk yet. I didn't even acknowledge him sitting there until a few minutes later. I had always thought that once Logan took place on his pillow the whole thing would finally feel good. And it did. Logan was in my secret place, he absolutely loved it.
But he didn't belong here.
This was where I went when I was so depressed I couldn't be anywhere near people or anything else. Afraid I was going to hurt someone or myself. It was where I let the tears stream freely and didn't bother to wipe them away, because no one would ever see them. It was where I thought of Logan, let all my frustrations go and just think of him. This was where I flew to different places back in time, just to watch Logan sleep or feel his lips on mine again, because I missed it all so fucking much. Logan being here wasn't right. It was my place. I created it and I wanted to keep it. It was mine, I didn't want to share, not even with my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life. He wasn't in his place. All this was supposed to make me happy again, make me forget about my real situation and have my Logan back in my arms for a few minutes. My imaginary Logie who didn't push me away and stayed my little, innocent baby that couldn't hurt a fly.
"I made a mistake," I said quickly and got up again. "You're not supposed to be in here. It's my place, now you've seen it and know where I'm going when I disappear, I want you to leave again."
He smiled sadly and nodded. "That's okay. It's lovely, Kendall, and I understand why you want to keep it to yourself. I won't come here anymore." He got up too and put his arms around my neck, kissing me softly. Without another word he turned around an climbed out of it, leaving me with my memories.
I sat back down on my pillow, immediately feeling more comfortable with the whole situation. It was like it was supposed to be again, me and my memories of Logan. Where no one would ever interrupt me.
I didn't stay there long, after all I had the real Logan waiting for me right outside. But when I got out too, I didn't see Logan anywhere. The backdoor was open though, so I knew he went inside. I took my dirty shoes off before going inside, following my nose to the kitchen. Logan was warming up the left-over spaghetti from last night in a frying pan and smiled when I came in, so I knew he wasn't mad I made him leave my secret place.
I put my hands on his hips and kissed his cheek. "Love you," I whispered in his ear. I slipped one of my hands under his shirt on his stomach and rubbed softly.
He leaned back against me, while he continued to stir the food in the pan. "Kendall, are you going to be there often?" He asked softly.
"No, I don't think so. Why?"
"I want to be as good as the Logan you're imagining there," He whispered. "Am I?"
"You're better, Logan. You're so much better," I told him softly. "When I'm there I think back to things we did, moments we had. I'm not imagining a better you, I'm just reliving things we did together, but I prefer being with you, the real you, over anything."
He nodded. "Okay," He said quietly.
"C'mon, let's eat and take another shower together. We're going to have some fun tonight."
Four hours later we set foot in the first club we'd ever been to. Maybe not the first, but it was the first we entered to have fun instead of work. "Alright, have fun," James said. He patted my back when he walked past me, pulling an excited Carlos with him.
I looked down at Logan, raising my eyebrows and nodding to the dancing crowd. He smiled and nodded, I held his hand tightly as I made my way through the partying people. There was no way I was going to lose Logan now. I made it towards the dance floor and went in further, till I reached the middle.
I turned around and pulled Logan against me. He grinned at me and put his arms around my neck. It had been such a long time since we last danced together, and that wasn't even close to this. An up tempo beat, sweating bodies all around you... No, it was nowhere near the slow dance we had at our wedding.
It took a while before we got used to it, but eventually we found the rhythm and started moving on the beat. It felt so sensual to have Logan's tiny body against me like this, the way he moved along with me. Rubbing and caressing in all the right places, it felt awesome.
Logan grinned at me and danced a little closer to me. I smiled back and moved my hands lower, until I reached his ass. I hooked my thumbs in his jeans and kept my fingers on his butt. I loved the face Logan made. His eyes fluttered closed and his mouth opened a little, as if he was moaning. I couldn't hear it of course, because of the loud music.
However, Logan wasn't giving up yet and pushed himself against me. He grinded against me, not caring about other people around us -they were practically having sex too. I growled and Logan smirked satisfied.
But I wasn't going to give up. I never gave up when I was going to win. So I took it a step further. I grabbed his hips and forced his legs apart with my knee. I used my height to my advantage as I put pressure on his crotch. I felt Logan's knees buckle and grabbed onto him tighter so he wouldn't fall.
"Giving up yet, sweetie?" I asked, my lips on his ear.
"N-never," He said, but his voice sounded weak.
"I heard that before. You always gave in. Give up, Logie."
He smiled at me and kissed me sweetly, before turning around and grinding his ass in my crotch. "Fuck," I muttered, wrapping my arms around his waist to keep him against me. "That's hot. Don't stop," I told him after I leaned towards his ear to talk to him.
"So I win?" He asked me happily.
"Sure. As long as you don't stop."
"Wasn't planning on it. Feels good to make you this aroused."
"Like you aren't." I moved one hand down to the front of his pants to prove my point.
"Never said I wasn't," He said, resting his head back on my shoulder and nibbled on my earlobe. "Hmm. Kendall," He moaned.
"Fuck, Logan. We've to be alone soon."
I suddenly felt a hand on my back and froze, until I heard James' laugh. "C'mon, horndogs. We're gonna get a drink before you're going to fuck each other right here."
I nodded and tugged on Logan softly. He looked up and saw James behind me. I jerked my head towards the bar to show him what we were going to do. He nodded and grabbed my hand, letting me pull him along. I followed James to a booth on the side of the club, where Carlos was already sitting. "Alright. You sit down, I get beer," James said and disappeared.
Logan snuggled into my side, grabbing my arm and putting it around him. Carlos rolled his eyes, but smiled and didn't say anything. He was going to snuggle with James too the moment he got back.
"So did you amuse yourselves?" He asked as he played with a drinking card.
"Yeah. We did actually," I replied, slowly rubbing Logan's stomach.
I held Logan against me while I talked with Carlos and waited for James to come back. He did a few minutes later, holding three beers and one bottle of water. James sat down next to Carlos and gave everyone a drink, before pulling the Latino closer. "So how long are you exactly pregnant?" James asked casually.
"Six weeks- wait, how do you know that?" Logan asked surprised. I raised my eyebrows, wondering how they knew about it too.
"You should've seen your faces the past few days. It was so obvious something good happened. So I'm right? You really are pregnant?"
Logan nodded, his face lighting up in happiness. James and Carlos grinned too, both of them obviously happy for us. "Is it a make-up baby?"
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"You know, a baby created on the night you two made up?"
"Well, yeah," Logan admitted shyly.
Our friends laughed, but I wasn't really okay with the words 'make up baby.' I had a much better word for it, only James and Carlos didn't need to know that. "It's a love baby," I whispered in Logan's ear. "We were loving each other that night, not just making up."
He stared at me, his big, beautiful brown eyes filled with something I didn't recognize. Suddenly he lunged forward and kissed me hard. I heard James and Carlos whistling and then James asking me what I said to Logan to make him do this, but I didn't react. There was only Logan. Logan's lips on mine, Logan's hands in my hair, Logan's legs around my waist; all Logan.
I kissed him back, loving his soft lips moving so passionately on mine. Everything else disappeared, the loud music, the quivering of the air, the dancing people, even James and Carlos. It didn't matter. I had no idea if it was the alcohol or the intoxicating smell around here, but I had the idea I was high or drunk, while I didn't drink much or took drugs at all.
At some point I got a little control back and glanced at James and Carlos, noticing they were kissing too. I put my attention back on Logan, moving my hands over his sides and hips down to his legs and up again, smirking when he trembled every time I almost touched his crotch.
I had no idea how long we were kissing, but it must've been quite some time. And then we were rudely interrupted. "Excuse me, sir. This is not allowed," A waitress told me. She looked guilty, so I knew she probably got an order from her boss to get us apart.
Logan looked at me, his eyes black and he nodded towards the exit. He wanted to go home. "Sorry, we're leaving," I told the girl.
She smiled. "Thank you."
She left and Logan climbed off my lap, getting up and shaking Carlos by his shoulder to get his attention. "We're leaving," He told them. James and Carlos nodded and got up too, following us outside to the car. They climbed in the back seat and immediately connected their lips again. I was jealous, wishing I could continue kissing Logan too, but he had to drive.
He drove away and didn't mind when I took his hand. Luckily the ride wasn't too long, Logan was speeding, which helped a bit. We got home safely and chased James and Carlos out of the car, before we practically ran back to our house. The door closed and Logan pressed me up against the nearest wall. His hands disappeared in my hair and his lips were on mine again.
I kissed back forcefully, quickly taking over control and turning us around, pressing Logan against the wall hard. He whimpered and threw his head back, exposing his neck for me. And well, I wasn't going to let that chance pass. I bit in his neck and sucked harshly, making him cry out in pain and pleasure. Meanwhile I unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders.
He cupped my face and pulled it back up to kiss me. I kicked off my shoes and helped him taking off my shirt, instantly connecting our lips again when it was off. I put my hands under his thighs and picked him up, carrying him to the stairs while he kissed and bit in my neck. I moaned and slipped one of my hands in his pants on his butt, my fingers in his crack and toying with his entrance. I heard his shoes tumble down the stairs when he pushed them off his feet, whimpering in pleasure under my hands.
I put him down when we reached the top of the stairs, pulling my hand back and wrapping my arms tightly around his waist to keep him close as I kissed him again. Logan kissed back eagerly, his tongue fighting mine for the first time in a long while. He didn't win though, his strength breaking when I put my hand on his member and squeezed, before opening his pants and pushing them down his legs. Logan kicked them away, his hands running over my chest and abdomen to the top of my pants and pushing them down too.
They were off and I picked him up again, almost running to our room. I dropped him on our bed and pulled my own boxers off first, cursing when they got stuck around my legs. I wanted to do Logan's too, but he already pushed them off his legs and threw them to the other side of the room. He opened his arms and legs, inviting me in and for once not ashamed of what I might see.
I sat between his legs and pulled them over my shoulders, before leaning forward, bending him in half, to kiss him deeply, showing him how much I cared. While we kissed Logan reached out and guided my hard on to his entrance. I slowly pushing in, not wanting to hurt him since I didn't prepare him and we already had sex that day and he was probably still tender.
He put his arms around my neck and kissed me slowly while he got used to the feeling of being filled again. "Go," He whispered after a minute, instantly kissing me again when he was done talking. I pulled out and thrust back in hard, smiling at Logan's obvious pleasure. I quickly picked up the speed, feeling more like fucking than love making tonight. It's been building up the whole day and now we could finally relieve ourselves, get lost in the other and just enjoy being together like this, without the usual heavy thoughts. It was just lust tonight. Pure, dirty lust.
Logan dug his nails in my back while I time after time hit his prostate, bringing him closer to the edge so much faster than we were used too. It was all so good and so intense and neither of us could hold on very long. I didn't even have to stroke Logan, he came hard, holding onto me tightly until he came down from his high. I finished quickly after, Logan's face during his orgasm enough to make me fall over the edge too.
I pulled out of him and collapsed next to him on the bed, pulling him against me and almost instantly falling asleep.
I hated the end. It was rushed… anyway, tell me what you think :)