The rest of the night passed without incident and Hawke awoke feeling surprisingly rested and ready to get back to work, which was stange in itself being that he really hated mornings. He blinked the last remnants of sleepiness away, but as his eyes focused, his first sight of the morning was a better jolt than any cup of caffa.
He was propped partially on his side so he had to strain to turn his head far enough to follow the purple tail back to its origin. Sure enough, it was exactly as he'd suspected...the purple tendril was one of her lekku, draped over his shoulder. Tiny had nuzzled up behind him where he slept.
Hawke slowly scooted away from the Twi'lek girl and out from under her head tail. He thought to lift it off of him first, but he didn't want to touch it if it was going to be like grabbing one of her breasts or something comparable. Still, if they were akin to breasts, then she should not be draping them over people while they slept, he thought ruefully. How did she even manage that? Were they more prehensile than he thought?
Hawke stood slowly so as not to wake the girl. He didn't even really feel perturbed that she had squirmed up next to him. She had, after all, had a very hard night.
She lay there, bundled in her own bedding and the blanket from his bed. She looked much like she had the night before when she was sleeping in the hall, like she had made herself a nest.
She moved the other night to get closer to me as well. I wonder if she had a nightmare then too.
Hawke decided to let her sleep as he got started on the day. He grabbed a clean shirt and his boots from beside the door and made his way to the cockpit where he sat in the pilot's seat and got dressed.
"Kylsa, location on main screen."
One of the viewers flared to life with a grid showing their location. Hawke sighed and propped his head on his hand.
"Run another diagnostic on the hyperdrive generator. Maybe some of the repairs last night have it looking more stable."
Hawke watched the little dot on the grid while Kylsa ran the diagnostic. At sublight speed it would take months and nearly all of his fuel to get to Toydaria, and it was the closest inhabited planet. That wasn't really an option but Hawke didn't think that was a likely outcome anyway. He only had to get the hyperdrive patched up enough to safely make a single jump and get him to the planet. From there, he could get the repairs done that were necessary. So the name of the game was troubleshooting, for today and every day until he got it sorted.
"The diagnostic reveals that the energy deviations between the hyperdrive unit and the hyperdrive motivator exceed the recommended tolerance for the Avatar-12 hyperdrive unit," Kylsa chimed. "Activation of the unit is not advisable.
"How much deviation are we talking about?"
"Corillian based Vesthida Industries Avatar-12 Hyperdrive Unit Manual cites that the upper level energy deviation tolerance be set at 12%. Against the company recommendations, you have the emergency shutdown procedure set to initiate on this craft at 14.5%. Current diagnostics show the hyperdrive to be functioning with a variable 14% to 16% deviation."
"Well, that's not too far off. Still, we can probably do better. No need to risk combusting in hypersace if a few days of tinkering can ensure that we stay in one piece."
Hawke leaned back and enlarged the view screen.
"Kylsa, bring up the diagnostic information on viewer one, and the hyperdrive systems internal diagram on viewer two."
The screens lit up and Hawke began summoning everything he knew about hyperdrive engines back from older memories. He had rebuilt this unit more than once, which was the only reason he could tell what the complex groups of lines and symbols on the screens even were. Still, it had been some time since he had worked on it and he was going to have to figure out what his repair options were without being able to shut the ship down entirely, which mainly just seemed like a good way to get himself electrocuted.
After a few minutes he felt like his brain was sweating. He was having trouble focusing so he pivoted his chair around and leaned back to stretch.
Maybe I should get a shower and something to eat first.
But he didn't want to shower with Tiny still asleep, he would most likely wake her up. And though he considered it somewhat of a silly notion, he didn't want to have breakfast without her either. She seemed to enjoy eating with him so much, it felt inconsiderate to take that time away from her. He sighed and turned back around to the view screens. He meant to get back to work, but just couldn't quite make himself yet.
Then, a thought dawned on him that brought a smile to his lips.
"Kylsa...give me a synopsis on lekku."
"The lekku, also referred to as tchun-tchin are anatomical structures found in the Twi'lek species, resembling tentacles attached to the parietal bone of the skull directly behind the coronal suture."
Kylsa seemed to reach the end of her synopsis but Hawke was intrigued and was curious to hear more. Besides it was far more interesting to him right now than a hyperdrive.
"Kylsa, expand on lekku and use imagery, viewer one."
"A 'lek' consists of a complex nerve structure and partially hollow chambers of fascia, surrounded by a thin muscular sheath and porous adipose tissue that runs the entire length of its form. The lekku contain part of the brain at their base and are used for storing fat as well as faintly sensing climate and atmospheric pressure changes. In addition, the subtle movements of the lekku comprise a significant portion of the Twi'lek language."
The viewer lit up with several images of lekku, some of different colors and even an x-ray and an anatomical rendering of the different layers inside the lekku.
Wow, complex nerve structure is an understatement.
"Kylsa, I understand the lekku to be a sensitive part of a Twi'lek's body. What kind of sensitive does that mean?"
"Ambiguous inquiry, extrapolating. The lekku house more sensory receptors per span of tissue than any location on the human body. They have the ability to function on command, yet display a multitude of involuntary responses. They are highly responsive to temperature, light touch, and pressure. The muscular sheath is also very thin making it a poor protective mechanism for the highly attuned nerve groups within. As a result a Twi'lek can experience crippling discomfort from excessive levels of pressure to a lek, much akin to pressure against a Twi'lek's or a human's spinal cord."
"That seems terribly inconvenient. Why would something like that even evolve?"
"The Twi'leks, being a fairly undeveloped race technologically, have little record about their own species' evolutionary origin. All that is known is that they developed on an inhospitable planet called Ryloth."
"Caesyn?"
Hawke spun his chair around to to see Tiny leaning against the entrance to the cockpit. She was still bundled up in her blanket with only her head showing and her hand poking out holding the little holopad. Hawke wondered briefly whether or not she was wearing her clothes underneath the bundle causing him to involuntarily swallow hard.
"Tiny, hey," was all he could think to say at first. "Did you manage to get back to sleep okay? You had me worried there for a little while last night." He continued after a brief period of silence.
"I'm sorry I acted out so much." She looked down at the ground looking somewhat ashamed. "I just have such bad dreams, and it's like sometimes I have them and I can't wake up. Or I'm awake and the dream is still happening. I don't know. I'm just… really sorry to be so much trouble."
She was pouty enough to pull on the heart strings.
"Tiny, you don't have to feel guilty about it. Come here, sit down." He swiveled the seat next to him around to face her. She stepped over the lip of the door jam, and while she was still barefoot, Hawke could at least see the bottom of her pants leg poking out from under the blanket. He breathed a sigh of relief at that. He didn't think he could handle any more surprises at this point.
Tiny waddled over to the seat, being rather constricted by the blanket, and sat down while keeping her eyes downcast.
"Do you want to tell me about it? Some people say it helps to talk when they have nightmares."
Her eyes widened and she looked up at him for just a moment before looking back down at the floor and shaking her head vigorously. She obviously didn't want to talk about it.
"Did you have another nightmare afterwards? Is that why you slept on the floor?"
She shrugged slightly while nodding.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you. I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm sorry you had to sleep on the floor. I'm…"
She looked like she was going to start crying again. Hawke leaned forward and lifted her chin so she would look at him.
"Tiny, slow down, it's okay. I'm not upset with you. And it's not your fault that you have bad dreams."
"But… I… I…," and then she broke down into a full fit of tears.
If this girl keeps this up she is going to die of dehydration.
Hawke didn't know what to do. On one hand, he didn't want to see her sad, on the other… was she really crying over something so trivial? All she did was wake him up. He didn't understand what the big deal was. The only thing he could think to do was pat her little head as she cradled her face in her hands, though he was very careful not to touch her lekku, lest he add sudden pain to her reasons for crying.
Her crying reduced to sniffling and she lifted her head just far enough to speak so that the translator could still make out her words.
"It's my fault," she said tightening her grip on her blanket and the holopad. Hawke was about to tell her to stop worrying about it when she continued hurriedly to get out her entire thought.
"It's my fault your ship got broken. The people that chased us were after me, and they will keep looking for me, and that puts you in danger for helping me, and I didn't tell you because I was afraid you wouldn't stay with me, and I didn't want you to leave me somewhere, and I was selfish, and you could have been hurt, and it would have been my fault."
Eventually she had to take a breath but as soon as she did, Hawke took the opportunity to put his fingers over her lips so that she couldn't launch back into another guilt filled confession. She looked up at him with wide eyes and blinked another trickle of tears away to follow the same trail down her cheeks.
"I know, Tiny, it's okay. I know we're in danger, but I'm not going to just drop you off somewhere and leave you." But then he realized, that was exactly what he was going to do as soon as they got back to Nar Shaddaa.
He meant to say that he was going to take care of her; he wanted to say it. He wanted to tell her that she was safe, but he couldn't make himself. In truth, she wasn't just being chased, she had already been caught and just didn't know it yet. Here she was wracked with guilt because she was causing him trouble and hadn't told him everything and all along the man she is confessing to and thinks that she has wronged is the one that is the real danger to her. He took his fingers from her lips and she blinked the next round of tears from her eyes.
"So… you'll help me still? Even though it might be dangerous?" Her eyes were wide and full of hope.
"Ye… yeah Tiny. I'm not just going to leave you alone somewhere."
She sniffled and and lowered her head again.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do if I were alone. I don't know where to go. I don't…" she swallowed and took a breath before sniffling again. "Can I… would it be okay to embrace you?"
"Err embrace me?" The term initially made him panic, but then he realized it could be less serious than he was thinking. "You mean like a hug?"
She nodded. Hawke realized that the translator probably just translated the word back to the same thing she had said, "embrace" sounded so formal.
"Um...sure, we can hug." He didn't really think of hugging as something you initiated with a request, but she obviously had some understandable issues with physical contact.
She stood up from her seat and let her blanket fall away. Thank the architect she had all of her clothes on. Hawke thought to stand to hug her properly but she just sank to her knees and laid her chest across his lap and wrapped her arms around his waist. She laid her head against his chest and said something that was muffled by his shirt so the translator missed it.
He patted her head again and laid his other hand on the center of her back. It was more or less a hug. She turned her face to the side and spoke again, this time loud enough for the translator to catch it.
"Thank you," she said and finally took a deep shuddering breath. "I...I will figure out a way to repay you, one day. For everything."
Hawke could feel the knife turning in his chest around and around. He had, thus far, avoided directly lying to her. That was easier some how. Now she not only thought that he was helping her, he had told her so. He had taken advantage of plenty of gullible people in his lifetime, even before he was a bounty hunter. It was just part of surviving and he lost no sleep over it. But she was so naive and helpless. It just felt so wrong.
So what? It's more wrong to lie to her than it is to return her to being a test subject and a slave? He nearly told himself to shut up. There was no need for her to be afraid the whole way back to Nar Shaddaa. They had a lot of distance to cover, and he needed her to cooperate when they got to Toydaria.
I don't have to like it, I just have to get it done.
"Come on Tiny," he said and gave her a little squeeze. "Breakfast first thing remember? Then we have to get back to fixing the ship."
Tiny sat up and wiped her face. She smiled at him, though she looked rather tired for someone who should be rested now.
"Vix tha shep," she repeated with a nod.