(Jumpin' all over the world, literally.)
Romano version
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"Lovi~, come to the beach with France, Prussia and I."
"Why so I can be raped in the ass and possibly drowned, Fuck no! Besides, I'm already perfectly tanned."
"But….we were gonna go out for pizza… and watch France hit on chicas* and get rejected or beat up…are you sure?"
"…Well fine tomato bastard, I'm going for the pizza… where are my swimming trunks?"
"In, the red closet on the second floor on the top self next to the extra cans of tomato sauce~ behind my matador's hat on the left side of my 1st place competitive Salsa dancing trophie."
"….What the hell?" -Storms off grumpily to get shorts- "So fucking far away, stupid shorts"
-opens door goes in-
*door slams shuts*
Know your stars …
Know your stars …
Know your stars …
"HOLY TOMATO SAUCE WHOTHEFUCKSINHERE?"
Lovino Vargas, once pushed his brother off a cliff
"What hell is this!"
Lovino Vargas, models dresses for Spain
"Who the fuck are you?"
Lovino Vargas, Love Potatoes more than Tomatoes
"Holy shit, what's going on?" -Shakes door handle-
Lovino Vargas, Is the dumbest Italian in the world
"SPAIN ! Open this fucking door, I know it's you."
Lovino Vargas, gave Germany a BJ the other day
"You can go to hell! As if I do something so, so VILE!"
Lovino Vargas, is secretly a ballet dancer
"Secret my ass, I'm not gay and I don't dance!"
Lovino Vargas, that's not what this program for Swan Lake says
"Where the hell ya get that from?"
Russia, he said you were in it and gave it to me
"Voice bastard, you and vodka bastard can go fuck a tutu."
Lovino Vargas, you'd like to see that wouldn't you
-Flips bird to darkness-
"Open this door you dumb bastard I got shit to do."
Lovino Vargas, buys off brand clothes and accessories
"Like Hell!" -pulls out Apple Iphone- "You see this. You see this shit!" -points to cell- "This is the shit."
Lovino Vargas, Blackberry is better
"Go fuck a blackberry"
Lovino Vargas, aren't you just a saint, almost like mother Teresa
"Damn straight voice bastard."
Lovino Vargas, your just the nicest guy in the world aren't you
"Yes I fucking am, don't forget it."
Lovino Vargas, donates to charity, don't you
"…I give the rotten tomatoes to the rats…that's enough charity to last me a full 4 months"
Lovino Vargas, does volunteer work
"I sure do, anytime I hang out with any of the other loser nations -cough spainandfriends cough-I'm blessing them with my volunteered time."
Lovino Vargas, Loves fries
"Well….only when I have to visit that English bastard's place…and when he doesn't cook them…AND I don't love them their a last resort."
Lovino Vargas, eats ketchup on his fries.
"…I know what you're getting at; you must think I'm a dumb ass!"
Yes, yes I do
"I eat my fries with MUSTARD!"
Hard core
"Damn straight!"
Well now we all know Lovino Vargas, the twin killing cross dresser. While spending his time eating Whole potatoes covered in ketchup he practices his ballet recital in hopes of one day being good enough for the pros. He's not very bright and wears dreadfully ugly and off brand clothes because he has a lack of style. The up side is that he's a saint that does volunteer work and donates to various charities. He's also HARDCORE.
*door opens*
"'Bout Time dumb ass." –Walks out and away-
"Where are your shorts amigo? Are you not going…por que?"
"I don't feel like it….Tomato Bastard."
"Okay Lovi I'll see you later then." –waves goodbye and leaves-
Moments later Romano was in the living room again watching TV
"And if you are just now tuning in, we here at Ballet international would like to thank you for watching Swan Lake preformed live here in Russia"
Romano in leotard "you can do this Romano, concentrate."
-Turn turn Chassé and kick, turn turn Jeté and-
-door opens
"Hey Lovi I'm home!"-
"SHIT!"
Spain goes in to the living room
"what cha watching Lovi?"
"…Soccer tournament…."
"…What are you wearing…?"
"….my new soccer uniform Dumb ass…I'm GOING TO MY ROOM!"
"…okay Lovi! Nice outfit" –slightly oblivious-
"Go DIE!"
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(Requested by an anon person called Crazy tomato and ironically, Hetaliapasta90 requested when I was about to post it IDK why I find that funny)