Chapter Fourteen
"'Cause she's just the way she is, but no one told her that's okay"
-Jon McLaughlin
The rain began to pour heavily now, and neither one made a move to find shelter. They stared at each other in the damp, dim light. The thunder mumbled as it moved across the sky. The rain plastered his clothes to his body, making them heavy. His usually well-taken care of hair was pressed flat against his skull. He was soaked to the skin. Not important. He was freezing and miserable. Not important. He lost the feeling in his fingers five minutes ago, but even so he paid no attention to that either.
Trying to keep his temper from getting the best of him was one thing, and blocking the nonchalant voices in his head that whispered to abandon the situation and walk away was another. Hikaru focused on ignoring the voices, knowing they would stop all together, because his temper was nowhere from burning out. As for right now, his shoes were anchored to the ground. He wasn't going anywhere - not without an explanation from her at the very least.
Across from where he stood, about ten feet away, Ren could feel the cool heavy wetness weigh her down as she stared up at him. She kept blinking so that the water wouldn't fill up her eyes. She noticed the devious smirk he wore everyday was nowhere seen on this new face of his. He looked different. It wasn't his clothes or his hair, skin or shoes. It was his eyes. They stood out from everything else on his soaked form. A deep gold, the darkest she had ever seen them. She studied his flawless features a little longer until it occurred to her that his expression was furious.
Why are you angry with me?
Hundreds of answers rambled inside her head as she slowly rose to her feet. She rolled each answer carefully, cautiously, in her hands - weighing them out for sureness. The problem was she didn't know which one to pick. It was difficult to choose when his expression confused her. He had always gotten upset for almost everything she did; however, he had never been furious with her.
Your face - why? Why do you hate me so much?
She felt like she was drowning in quicksand - too confused to break through the mud and rise with an understanding. She surprised herself. Usually she wouldn't go through the trouble in trying to understand why someone hated her. Since four years ago, and still today, most people have always disliked her while the other half feared her. Everyday they always had something new to say, like she was a dark plague on society, or a creature the world could live without. Those words once bothered her, lower her self-esteem below zero - hitting the negatives - until one night in middle school she realized there was nothing she could do to change how people thought of her. Instead, she settled with accepting their mistreatments.
She thought, who would like to see a dark creature in the clear light of day, sending waves upon waves of ghostly chills down your spine whenever you looked their way? Obviously no one. Unfortunately for everyone, she had to attend school. Things started making sense for Ren after that. The depression and tears had stopped, and she started to live again.
But then when she walked into Java Joe's, the Hitachiin screwed up her mind by touching her hand and telling her that she was good enough to be with him. Wait, what?
Pause. Rewind. And Play.
- "Do you truly believe you're not good enough to be seen with me?"
- "A dark creature is never good enough."
- "You're wrong."
GAAH! But that's not how it supposed to be, she whined and stomped her feet childishly in her head. Since the dawn of mankind everyone knew a beautiful creature was born to despise the creepy dark creature because it was different, ugly, and unwanted in society; not do the exact opposite. When did the rules change? Around the time the stray dog chased her half across town? She shook her head in doubt. Regardless of the mysterious rule changing, or that it happened without her knowing about it, since he finally admitted that he could tolerate her creepiness, shouldn't he be less angry with her now?
"Hey!"
Like dangling from a string, Hikaru's voice was like scissors, cutting her down. She hurled back to earth, disoriented and confused. She blinked.
"What were you thinking?" His voice was tight, controlled, opposed to his playful and mischievous voice. "You didn't look that scared."
She frowned. Er . . . what? To her disappointment her head slipped under the quicksand of confusion. Her brain sputtered and coughed as she struggled to comprehend his question.
Hikaru glared at her. "And don't give me that I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about look!"
For a second, Ren wondered how her face looked.
What's wrong with me today? I've never been this pathetic. Sure I had my moments, but this is different. Creepy-chan! Being afraid of someone cannot be healthy. Even though that someone is packing extreme punches of beautiful, I should at least fight back like I always do. Are you listening to me? But each time I try I find myself running and screaming in the other direction. No, of course not. You never listen to me. And it seems to me that he gets a good laugh at making me miserable - frustrated, sometimes even angry. You would think this would encourage me to stand up for myself. But I can't. It's confusing. It's annoying. It doesn't make any sense-
"Hey, Creepy-chan!" He shouted, putting seize to her mind rambling. She looked up at him, surprised. "Answer the question!"
Ren stood in silence, watching the fury still plain on his face. Her mouth opened but the words couldn't make it past her lips. They fumbled over each other in the base of her throat when it finally dawned on her that she forgot about what he asked for.
What did he say again, she thought and tried to remember his exact words.
- "What were you thinking? You didn't look that scared."
Ren let her dull eyes fall to her hands, listening to the gentle rhythm of the rain pattering around her while she tried to recall fifteen minutes ago.
Okay, She told herself, commencing the journey that will lead her into the depths of her memory. In six seconds flat she recollected small portions and began putting the puzzle together on why she wasn't scared of the Yakuza. Since I can never maintain perfect balance for more than two measly minutes, I fell - curse gravity, its laws and all of its principles. Well, I was pushed but I still couldn't get any support on the pavement and that's just sad. One of them . . . the one with the bat, said something to me . . . Something like . . . It was . . .
Ren paused in the middle of her mind jogging when she stumbled upon the words that boy had told her.
- "Ugly girls should die alone."
At that moment, realization brightened her face and she remembered exactly what had crossed her mind. Her eyes were fixed on one thing, that boy's nose. She wondered how he would look after shoving his nose in. Her attention traveled back to Hikaru, and she could see him getting impatient; frustrated by her silence.
"I was," then she put a stop to her words, surprised at how raspy her voice sounded. She cleared her throat. "I was going to break their noses."
"You were going to fight back?" This upset him further. "Didn't you think about running away?"
"I tried not to."
"Why?"
"I fall down a lot when I run."
"What about calling for help?"
"No one would care."
The excuse had left him completely flabbergasted. It was so Ren-like.
"You . . . you just - how could - but . . . but that's-" His stammering came to an abrupt stop when he realized he wasn't making any sense. Frustrated, he gave a sharp exhale and turned, giving her his side profile. He brought his fingers to his forehead and slid them back over his head, pulling his wet bangs out of his eyes. He was not looking at her anymore.
She was actually thinking about fighting them? He shook his head with a hand still tangled in his drenched hair. Stupid!
It wasn't right, or smart. It was wrong and stupid. She was stupid for thinking it was right. Those guys were Yakuza, and twice, no, triple her size with the ability to knock her out for a month - possibly longer. If it weren't for Mori and Hani's martial arts training he took in the summer, he wouldn't have stood a chance either.
How could she think for a second that it was all right to fight them? Anything could have happened to her. There would be bruises and broken bones and cuts and blood and blood and more blood. God! Just the thought of him almost using the shortcut, the one he usually took home, made him sick to the stomach. He would have never seen her in trouble, would have never intervened, which also meant she would be occupying a hospital room in critical condition right about now.
Too close. His jaw clenched. Too damn close.
Still standing a few feet away, Ren wondered about the thoughts going through his head. She assumed they were things he disliked because his expression seemed to grow harder by each passing second. Ren shifted a little where she stood, hoping the rain was playing tricks with her eyes, and was imagining things that weren't really there.
What if they come back? Damn it, you idiot! The hand on his head grabbed a handful of red hair, squeezing so hard he wouldn't be surprised to have pulled them all out from the roots. I should have gone after them. Should have turned around and hunted down those- He shook his head. No. Don't think that way. Think the other way. Focus. Control the temper. You can do this, Hikaru. Eventually his fingers relaxed, releasing the strong hold on his hair. Yeah, that's it. Good. Okay, didn't she say something important? Taking in a deep breath, feeling a little composed, he decided to place his full attention on Ren.
"What makes you think no one would bother to help you?" He kept his eyes elsewhere, not willing to see her expression.
"Because it's the truth." She responded matter-of-factly.
His eyes rolled. "You can't know that,"
"And what do you know?" She said in a low, frosty voice. "You haven't been through the things that I've been through, or heard the things that I've heard. You talk like you know me. But you don't."
There was silence. Hikaru was uncharacteristically calm, which puzzled her. Usually he would have by now snapped back at her for being a blunt idiot, and use the back of his hand to whack her head. But this time he did neither of those. Did her words hurt him? She couldn't tell. From this angle it seemed like he was in deep thought about something.
Ren sighed after a moment, and looked away. "I'm leaving." But before she had the chance to get her limbs moving, Hikaru's loud voice put a stop to her.
"Hold on." And then the rest of his words followed in a rush. "Had something happen to you in middle school similar to what those guys did?"
Surprise flitted across her face.
"Well?" He was still not looking at her.
Her eyes narrowed. "That's none of your business."
"So does that mean yes?" He pressed on.
"No!" She snapped. "It means exactly how it's said!"
Hikaru slid his hands inside the pockets of his jacket. "So then something did happen?" It didn't sound like a question.
"Doesn't the term none of your business mean anything to you? Just leave me alone." She tried to sound demanding, but her trembling voice gave herself away. "Just . . . just leave me alone."
"You can trust me, you know." From the corner of his eye, he gave her a sidelong glance. His eyes were gentle, but his face was still rigid. "I won't tell anyone."
She stared back. After everything that happened today, it surprised her how that little promise sent flutters in her stomach. His words bounced around inside her head, echoing over the thundering beat of her heart in her ears, until finally it sunk in. He, this beautiful creature in front of her, cared to take a moment of his time - out of his glamorous life - to listen to her.
He wants to know? Her knees started to wobble as if she weighed a ton instead of a hundred and ten. Why couldn't he be like everyone else? She could feel the hot tears sting the corners of her eyes. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?
Ren looked down to hide her face, but it was already too late. It didn't take him long to recognize the flash of emotions that surfaced: the tense expression, the occasional twitch on her upper lip and her wide dark eyes all signified how nervous she felt about his question. She was hiding something from him, he could tell, and the first person that came to mind was the boy who rejected her in middle school. He could be the reason why she felt so insecure around everyone. There were no other explanations. What are you hiding, he thought to himself.
Why did she act as if everyone was going to harm her? Why did she push every person she met out of her life, and then crawl into the darkness of her room as if she didn't deserve to be outside with the rest of the world? Stop running away, damn it. His hands clenched into fists, so tight each knuckle turned white. He was going to find out even if it meant waiting all night.
"You . . ." she was having a hard time concentrating on her question with those brilliant eyes of his staring with probing intensity at her, "really want to know?"
Under the cold rain she could feel heat building up in her cheeks. She had to hear it from him, had to know if he was joking around or being serious with her. After a moment of silence she bit down on her lower lip, feeling an invisible weight on her shoulders.
Say it. He hesitated. "Yes, I want to know."
He wants to know . . .
Lightening flashed. Thunder snarled above them.
And then she collapsed.
"Ren!" Hikaru's voice was alarmed as he quickly closed the gap between them and kneeled in front of her. "What happened?" He asked after seeing her body roll to the side.
"You . . . said . . . my . . . name." She said dizzily.
He felt his forehead crease. It wasn't what he expected to hear. "That's what made you faint?" He asked, confused.
"No," Carefully she shook her head, still a little faint. "You called me by my name. You have always called me . . . Creepy-chan." Ren wavered slightly where she sat, feeling incredibly lame.
"I see. I guess I did." His tone sounded like he was confessing an embarrassing weakness.
She looked up at his uneasy expression, and felt lightheaded again by the force of his gold-colored eyes. Why did he have to be so damn beautiful?
Hikaru read the discomfort on her face for a long second. Then it clicked. "Oh!" He blurted, sliding far away from her on the wet pavement. "Sorry. I forgot." He apologized sheepishly.
She didn't say a word, staring at her wrinkled fingers submerged in the rainwater. The silence dragged on, and she wished he would fill it up with one of his random questions. Or, better yet, argue with her. At this point anything would be fine.
"I'm still waiting for your story." He reminded, innocently looked up at her under thick lashes.
Except for that. She sighed.
Where to begin? There was one thing she never thought to find herself digging up, and that was the dread of middle school year. It was buried in the back of her head for a reason. She wished those four years of her life could somehow be erased from her memory, forever lost in the dusty pages of history. On second thought, she wished a car would hit her right now, at this very moment, and knock her into a deep coma - never to wake up and tell the story of her life to the beautiful creature. It was a crude thing to wish on, she was aware of it, but it was okay to wish upon it because she knew it would never happen anyway.
She took a deep breath and was able to locate a backbone despite the fact of enduring another dose of embarrassment today. Rather than spilling someone's coffee, she was going to spill her past on the floor for the stubborn Hitachiin all because he refused to leave without a story in mind - as he had so confidently told her.
"Well," she began slowly, reluctant as always. "It happened one week after I gave up on trying to be pretty. It started in the classrooms, behind the teachers backs - practically under their noses. People who I thought were my friends gave me the cold shoulder overnight. They told me they had never been my friend, and pushed me away . . ."
Being bullied around was starting to come as a daily routine for her. Every morning the same boys and girls of Hatsumakii Middle School pointed and made fun of her appearance while she walked to class. They didn't care how bad they treated her, or how much their words hurt her feelings. It just so happen they supposed a creature of the darkness would not carry feelings as they did; which logically made no sense.
"Ew, gross. She's looking at us."
"They say if you catch her staring at you you'll become just like her."
"How scary!"
"Oi, ugly girl. You're face is making people throw-up. You should take a hike."
"Yeah, off a cliff."
"Shhhh! Hey, everyone check this out."
As the students continued to snicker in the hallway, Ren did her best to ignore them by keeping her back turned, reaching into her open locker. Whoosh! She forced her lips together to muffle a whimper when someone threw a crumbled paper ball at her head. She could hear them laughing at full volume behind her. Hot tears stung the corners of her eyes, but she swallowed the weak emotion back, and pulled out her Geography textbook like nothing had happened.
"Did you see that? I think I saw a tear."
"Awe! Does ugly girl want to cry?" The mocking hostility in his voice made her wince. It was Kakeru Sanada - another soul who hated her guts.
"Leave me alone." She demanded pathetically. Another paper ball was thrown at her head, and then a third. "Leave me alone, Kakeru!" She snapped, slamming her locker door closed. The lockers shuddered against each other, and then finally went still.
Her demanding voice was not taken seriously because Kakeru had thrown yet a fourth paper ball at her head, but unlike the first three, this one did not bounce off. Angrily, Ren grabbed the large ball of paper and pulled on it. In that second she discovered a long strand of gooey gum on the paper, trailing to the back of her head. Her eyes widen.
"How do you like your new look?" He taunted proudly, nose in the air. "I think it brings out the big, red pimples on your face just perfectly."
She watched in horror as everyone in the hall pointed and laughed at her.
"When I realized people were not accustomed to seeing a hideous creature every day, I decided to ignore them, thinking they will one day do the same," Ren exhaled heavily. "Later did I realize how dumb of an idea that was. By being passive the bullying only got worst. I had to spend most of my lunch periods in the . . . girls restroom. And then finally I couldn't take it anymore. I fought back."
"I lost count on how many fights I was involved in. I remember the Head Principle's upset face, and the disappointed looks my mother and father would give me. But I guess there were some good that came out of it. I learned how to defend for myself, and by the end of the school year no one bullied me anymore. There were some name calling, but that was all. Most just avoided me." The sadness in her voice was poorly disguised. She turned her head, expression bland and unreadable, staring at the ground without really looking at it. There. The end.
Hikaru felt himself become very still. In his chest something tightened, a warm twisting sensation that burned his insides. He found it difficult to breath evenly. They were the reason why she couldn't trust people. She was afraid to repeat history.
Was she scared to go to school at some point, he wondered, always running away, always hiding to avoid the students harassing her? At that moment, he remembered the first time he met her, and the events from that day flashed before his eyes. Several images came to him in slow motion and he was able to see everything in great detail. He found her in one of the restroom stalls. She was crying. Her feelings were crushed over the words a couple of girls had said. Till this day he still had no idea what those words were, but clearly it must have been extreme to upset Ren in such a way to have made her hide in the girl's restroom. Nobody does that at school. Nobody except her.
The tips of his fingers tingled with a greedy possessive urge to pull her into his arms and to never let go. Even though he desired to hold her, protect her from the people in this world who took a sick pleasure in making her cry, he knew he could not because in the end she wouldn't allow him. Ren often had a neck for attracting danger, but she wasn't the damsel in distress type.
- "I don't need anyone's help. I'm already used to doing things on my own, so it's no big deal."
But no matter how hard she tried to be strong, no matter how far she tried to run from the world, behind the tough face and the cold heart was a normal fifteen year-old girl. He paused, and repeated that one more time in his head. Immediately his mind responded with a resounding negative. Normal didn't sound like a fitting word to describe her. Ren was not normal. She was . . . well, Ren was . . . herself, and always herself. Not your typical girl from Ouran Academy, not Renge, or Haruhi. Ren did not like the Host Club; she liked the Black Magic Club. Ren did not like watching romance movies; she liked watching zombie movies. And Ren did not like fancy tuna; she liked strawberries.
This new discovery surprised him. For the very first time everything about her seemed clear to him as if he had opened his eyes, saw passed the creepy personality, unkempt hair, and bizarre outfits, and truly found her.
After hearing nothing coming from his part, Ren guessed he either went into shock or died out of boredom. She looked at him. Nope. His chest is still moving. So then he must be in shock. Having him dead would have made things much easier for her then to face his criticism that was sure to come hurdling towards her very soon. It never came. She waited three more minutes but still nothing.
A shiver trailed down her arms, raising goose-bumps. Well she had to admit there was nothing like being in the freezing rain, without a jacket, waiting for the flu to happen - she was such asmart girl. Not looking forward to waking up in the morning with a sore throat and a running nose, Ren decided now was a good time to go home. But then he said something, seizing her brain from commanding her legs to stand up.
"I think I understand now." He muttered, so quietly that she wasn't sure if he was talking to her or himself.
After debating against it in her head, she asked, "What do you understand, exactly?"
Hikaru paused for so long that she wondered if he hadn't heard her question. Finally, he said, "Before, it was difficult. You were so reserved, and distant. But after what you just told me," He glanced up to check her expression. "I understand you now."
She stared, befuddled, into his eyes. They appeared brighter now, a light topaz, almost glowing in the limited light the streetlights provided. They were dazzling. She was so mesmerized by the eyes that stared so intently into her own, and, no doubt, did she forget about what he had just told her. For now, she concentrated on remembering how to inhale and exhale.
"It stopped raining." She heard him say.
She blinked before breaking away from his golden eyes to look up. And sure enough he was right. The storm had moved further north, but lightening still flickered in the sky. The slow movement of his body raising distracted her from the overcast.
"Let me help you up." He offered, giving her his hand. She eyed it with caution, and then looked up at him as if half expecting him to yank his hand back and laugh at her. All traces of distrusting him vanished when she saw his face friendly, open, with that breathtaking twisted smile. "I won't bite." He said, a bit smug.
She raised one eyebrow. Was he teasing her now?
Glaring at his smiling perfection, she reached out. Her eyes widen, amazed how the sudden feeling of security washed over her as soon as she grabbed his hand. She could feel her heart beat accelerating in her chest. Hikaru pulled her paper-light-body to her feet, but didn't let go. Mystified, she glanced up. He was staring at her hand with the strangest expression - something she had never seen in him before.
Hikaru felt her eyes on him, and slowly looked up at her. Embarrassed, she quickly averted her gaze elsewhere, expecting him to do the same. Instead, he bent his head to one side with those gentle eyes taking a great interest in her face. Now that the hood and annoying curtain of bangs were gone, he could see her face perfectly under the streetlights. The bright blush contrasted with her ivory skin and accentuated the darkness in her eyes. Tono was right, that cosmetician's facial treatment did do wonders to her complexion.
She swallowed, wondering why he was still staring at her in that way, and if he was aware that he's been staring for more than a minute. Obviously he would know if he was staring at her or not. And seeing that he did know, then he had to know she would most definitely not approve of his staring, and therefore, should stop immediately. So why was he doing the exact opposite?
Ren was so nervous she was unaware of her legs convulsing. She closed her eyes tightly and focused on the other part of her mind that didn't revolve around a pair of stunning gold eyes. "Um," she managed to say, "I-I guess this is where we say g-goodbye."
"It is getting late." The smile in his voice was crystal clear even though she wasn't looking at him.
"V-very late."
"Which is not a good thing."
"Be-cause it's dangerous?"
"Not only that. It's a school night."
"Then that settles it. Goodbye." She waited impatiently for him to return her hand. When he never did she opened her eyes and reluctantly looked up. He had his lips together, as if suppressing laughter. "I'm gonna' need that back to go home." Somehow she felt saying that made her sound like an idiot.
That twisted smile returned. "And you will as soon as we get there."
"We?" She squeaked.
"Yes, I'm taking you home." Not waiting for an answer, he pulled her along around the corner. With shaky legs, she followed him.
It was difficult for her to keep up with his pace when her mind was hazy. So naturally, she tripped a few times. Thankfully Hikaru was always there to hold her up before her face met the ground in what could have been very painful. She felt the familiar sensation of warmth in the depths of her nose, and she battled with it to keep from gushing all over the ground.
"This isn't the way to my aunt's house." She said, distracting herself from enduring another nosebleed. "It's in the other direction."
"I know." He said. "I'm looking for the bus stop."
"Can't you just - AACK!" She stumbled over her own feet but found balance quickly. "Why can't you call one of your personal drivers to pick us up?"
"Not unless you have a cell phone on you." Reaching in his jacket, Hikaru pulled out his cell and showed it to her. It was completely broken with the battery missing. "It fell from my pocket while I was dodging those low-lives."
Ren dropped her head. Just my luck.
They walked across the street and followed the sidewalk, going west. Blinking thoroughly, Ren wondered what was wrong with this picture. Oh, that's right THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS! The panic from before had returned, but much stronger this time. She didn't like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in her head repeated again and again. But that wasn't the worst part. As confusing as it may sound she couldn't think of a way to protest, but she knew she wanted to.
Clearly something serious was taking place here. Trying to think through the panic, she stared at her tiny hand being cradled in his rather large hand for reassurance. Why couldn't she put her foot down and yank her hand back? Why, why, why, why, why? It was the simplest thing to do in the world, yet she was unable to come through. Then a sudden thought came to her mind. A scary, unwelcoming thought.
Somewhere between running away, and the nosebleeds, could she have developed an infatuation for the dazzling creature?
No! She disagreed quickly. That's crazy!
Hikaru was a creature beyond her level, and totally the opposite from her. His brightness and her darkness could never mesh. Ever! How could she consider such absurdness? But what if her absurdness was correct? Her mind paused, and then seemed to remember something.
During Biology class last week, Sensei Arisu began lecturing about the structures of a single atom. After explaining electrons are responsible for binding together with a positively charged nucleus - in order to catch the interest of her bored students - she said human chemistry could be compared to the nature of Molecule Charges. There was a saying, she had said, opposite couples are often unexpectedly well matched. In Ren's case, a dark creature and a bright creature might be perfect for each other.
She choked back the exasperation that threatened to explode. Her wandering mind was entering dangerous waters, and she had to stop before her ridiculous notions started to make sense. But what, then? She asked herself. There had to be a rational explanation for why she couldn't think of anything to make him let go of her hand. She closed her eyes, and listened again in her head the things that influenced infatuation: the feeling of depression after realizing he was upset at her, the way she doesn't give him any restrictions after unsuccessfully avoiding him, the total lack of control over her body whenever she looked into his eyes, which include the following: faint spells, memory loss, butterflies in the stomach, wobbly knees, and let's please not forget about the massive nosebleeds. How he dazzled her frequently - sometimes without even trying.
Was she infatuated with him?
Well, she had something. Something relatively close to Taboo.
If she was falling for the beautiful creature, that would mean Renge's theory was correct. Slowly she was changing, and without noticing it too. She was beginning to develop feelings for the prettiest boy in school. How could she let this happen? And what about all those years of giving her loyalty to the darkness? All of it would have been a waste. She would be abandoning her oath to never fall in love again, the darkness, and Chucky-kun - poor, clueless, and often sticky Chucky-kun. The news would break his little black heart. And then again, he might not want to be her best friend anymore . . . Ren could feel her stomach do summersaults.
Either with the bright creatures, or with the dark creatures, I don't belong anywhere. The frightening truth made her head bow and her shoulders slump. She was too preoccupied in her newly found discovery that she failed to notice Hikaru had been talking to her that whole time, only able to catch four words.
". . . on the safe side."
Her eyes flashed open, and she looked up. The first thing she saw was the back part of his head. His hair was dripping wet, disheveled. Trying to sound like she heard his entire sentence, she responded lamely with a, "Yeah?"
But he wasn't convinced.
"You weren't listening, were you?" He glared at her over his shoulder.
She lowered her head. "Not really."
Hikaru took the moment to sigh. She was hopeless. "I said don't tell anybody about what I did for you today - especially to Tono. He might get ideas, and I don't feel like dealing with his melodramatic side right now. So do me a favor and keep this between us just to be on the safe side. Alright?"
"Alright." She repeated in a low voice.
"Good." He said, and with that he ended the conversation.
The silence between them didn't bother her this time. She needed to think clearly without him distracting her. There was no way she could be falling for a creature of the light. Perhaps she overlooked a piece of information due to her panic. Desperate to be liberated from this nightmare, she quickly doubled back.
It took her awhile, but she finally unearthed one solution that was sure to wash away all of her worries. While being a creature of the dark, was it not in her nature to react strangely in front of a beautiful creature - a beautiful creature like Hikaru, for instance? She was biologically incapable to resist their symmetric qualities, the kind of qualities you see in models. Absolutely perfect. So, Hikaru wasn't the only one she felt weak around. Beautiful creatures in general have the same effect on her.
So then - maybe. That would have to be her answer.
She felt a sense of some release, and she could breath easily again. Even so, in the far depths of her mind, she could not help but feel she was forgetting something. Mentally shrugging, she decided not to dwell on the matter. A slight headache was pinching the side of her head. No need to provoke it further.
Flashes of lightening illuminated the sky as they walked in silence. Ren shivered. She wanted to cross her arms tightly over her chest to conserve what warmth she had left, but remembered Hikaru was still holding her hand. She tried to figure out why he hadn't let go already. One thought came to mind. Was it that her clumsiness, prone to getting into trouble, made him felt she might never reach her aunt's house? Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"You don't have to do this, you know." She assured him. "I'm perfectly capable to walk myself home."
He made a complete stop, making her almost walk into his back. "Didn't you hear me promise to take you home?" His voice was indignant, and he turned around to look at her. She stared at his graved angel face, wide eyed. She didn't expect him to react this way. He took her silence as permission to do what ever he wanted and towed her across an empty road, pulling her by the hand.
She tried to match his pace. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?" He asked.
"Helping me." She said, not liking his playing-it-dumb attitude.
He closed his eyes. It was the question he knew she would ask him. "Since I was younger Kaoru always told me I had a temper. I didn't believe him until today. Every time I think about what those guys could have done to you if I hadn't gotten there in time . . ." He didn't finish his sentence, lips pressed tightly together, struggling for a moment to control his temper again. "I guess," he continued, opening his eyes, "what I'm trying to say is, I don't know what I would do if I saw you in danger again."
Seconds ticked by as she absorbed everything he told her.
"What are you thinking?" Unknowingly he squeezed her hand after saying that last word.
"I'm trying to figure you out." She replied honestly over his shoulder.
A ghost of a smile passed through his face. "Are you having any luck with that?"
"Not really." She admitted.
Hikaru laughed lightly. "That's too bad."
Ren sighed, and listened to her boots squeak on the wet pavement. A single car drove by them, turning right at the corner ahead. They were once again alone on the street. Until two girls walked out of the building they were walking alongside.
Both girls were blond, around her age, and a hundred times prettier than she will ever be. They walked off gossiping excitedly, heading in their direction. Her subconscious fear of being seen made her walk close behind Hikaru, hiding herself from their view. He was oblivious to the girls, looking past them to the corner.
She looked down and waited for them to walk by, hoping they would overlook her. This is embarrassing. They might get the wrong idea. And wrong ideas have been known to lead down many roads of destruction. How would they react if they saw her holding hands with a boy as beautiful as an angel? Well, it was more like he was holding her hand. She kept her head down and glanced up under her lashes. None of them were looking her way. She lifted her head a little.
They were facing each other, still talking. Then the girl on the right turned her head. That was when she found the Hitachiin. Ren understood the look in her eyes as she stared at him. Who could blame her? He was extremely beautiful. It didn't take the other girl long to follow her friend's intense gaze and share the exact same staggering expression. But as the two girls came closer and closer, they realized the beautiful boy they had been ogling at was not alone. Ren was sure in the instant their eyes meant, that the smiles on their faces simultaneously changed to a frown. She quickly looked away as they passed by, flushing bright red. She could feel their eyes bore into her back. As soon as Hikaru reached the corner, she walked fast around.
"It's about time." He had located the bus stop, which Ren could see a little ways ahead, across from Third Street. "And here I was beginning to think we were lost."
She dropped her head lower than ever, letting her slightly damp hair fall around her to conceal her face. "We must look weird." She couldn't help say.
"Huh?" Hikaru raised one eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"
"We are . . . hand in hand, after all." She almost died out of humiliation when she finished.
He stopped walking. "So?"
Startled, she looked up at him.
"I notice you take everything very seriously," he said, "especially when it comes to people and their opinions. But you shouldn't because not everyone sees you the same way."
"What do you mean?" Ren asked.
Up ahead the traffic light turned from red to green. A blue and white bus drove across the intersection, coming to a complete stop next to the sign they were pursuing.
Looking at her over his shoulder, he found her dark eyes underneath her bangs and held them. Those penetrating eyes of his were slowly turning her bones to putty. "I don't think we look weird."
She swallowed, dislodging the sudden lump in her throat. "O-okay,"
A smirk rearranged his features - so beautiful to an excruciating degree. Ren's head was spinning. The driver honked twice with obvious impatience. He changed the subject. "Hurry before the bus leaves us stranded here." He pulled her with him, and she staggered along sideways towards the public transportation.
The entrance slid open for them. It was empty inside with only a male bus driver behind the wheel. He glanced at them through half opened eyes. Hikaru finally released Ren's hand and stepped in. She stumbled after him. He paid his share for the ride, and it was now her turn. She fished out her coin purse, opened it, and frowned. Zero cents. She looked up to find Hikaru staring at her with a weary expression.
"Not enough?" He guessed.
"I forgot that I spent it all on a slice of Pumpkin Bread." As Ren pocket the tiny purse, feeling embarrassed, she was sure he had never known the feeling of being broke.
"Your aunt didn't leave you any money?" His voice was devoid of any uncharitable intent so she decided to respond to his question truthfully.
"I told her not to." She said. "I don't take money from others when I don't deserve it."
"What are you talking about?" He crumbled his face. "You're living in her house. Of course you deserve the money."
He shook his head at her confused look, and paid for her as well.
The driver watched his dripping wet passengers through the rear-view mirror as they took a seat across from each other. The man smiled, making his laughing lines more visible on his face. "Just came from dancing in the rain, I see." They both looked up. The elder man chuckled at their lost expressions and put the gears into Drive Mode. "That's very cute but next time you should bring dry clothes. You'll catch a cold."
Ren carefully glanced at Hikaru from the corner of her eye. He turned his head, staring morosely through the windshield at the grey clouds. The bus slowly lumbered across the streets, passing pharmacies that had influenza vaccine posters up on their windows; tiny antique shops filled with crystals, furniture, and books; winter clothes displayed behind glass-fronted stores. When the bus took its first turn on Main Street, thoughts occurred in Ren's head. Could two complete opposite people find a connection somewhere along the way, fall head over heels for each other, and end up happily together? She closed her eyes, and pressed her fingers to her temples, shoving the disturbing questions out of her mind.
"Hey?" Hikaru asked in a different tone - serious, but at the same time hesitant.
Her eyes opened, and she looked at him.
"Never mind." He said suddenly, eyes on the clouds again. "It was nothing."
She stared at him confused, before turning away. She laid her head back on the seat, trying very hard not to think. It was all no use, of course. A small part of her mind wondered what he meant earlier when he said:
- "You were so reserved, and distant, but after what you just told me . . . I understand you now."
There was a pause as she repeated the words in her head a few more times, combing through them to grasp what he was trying to say. But she found herself getting tangled after each attempt. What did he understand about her? She settled with asking him later.
"Oh!" He blurted aloud.
"Yes?" She turned to him too eagerly.
"I almost forgot." He smiled, flashing his brilliant teeth behind perfect lips. "During the time I saved you from getting a possible concussion, I lost my coffee." Somehow there was a dark edge to his voice.
"Um . . . I'm sorry." It sounded more like a question though.
"Sorry isn't going to cut it, Creepy-chan." He told her. "You have no other choice but to appease my caffeine cravings by buying me a Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Java Joe's. I expect it to be smothered with maple syrup, and given to me by tomorrow afternoon." He held up his hand, and showed her four of his fingers. "Four o'clock sharp. Right after school."
She glared, and then turned her head back. "I don't think so."
"Why not? I came to your rescue. You owe me." He reminded her, the smile had long left his face.
"First of all, you're selfish. And second of all, it's not like I asked you to save me." She turned her head a fraction towards him with a blank expression. "You did that on your own."
He was staring at her incredulously. "Are you telling me that you wanted to get beaten up?"
Ren sighed at his stupid question. That's not want she meant. "I'm just saying it was your choice to help me. I shouldn't owe you anything."
"You do!" Both fists came down on his lap. "Now return the generosity and buy me a hot drink of sweetened and fatty goodness!"
Now he's just being ridiculous. Ren fully turned to face him so he could maybe read her serious expression and give it a rest. "I couldn't if I wanted to. I don't have any more money. Remember?"
Hikaru crossed his arms, nose in the air. "That makes no difference."
"It makes a huge difference you selfish jerk! I'm broke!" Seriously, this was a stupid topic to be arguing about.
His mouth spread into a wide grin. "Then get a job."
What? She wasn't sure if she heard correctly. "What?"
"Actually a job just opened up at my place. I need a personal maid who will clean my undergarments for one dollar by the hour," Ren's jaw fell to the floor, "Interested?"
"You . . . you . . ." She couldn't think of a bad enough word to say to him.
"Dear me," Hikaru leaned forward, amused. "Am I annoying you?"
She couldn't take it anymore. Exasperated, she swiftly turned around, and pressed her lips tightly together to muffle her scream.
Hikari laughed - loving how he finally got her upset - until he heard her say, "That's it!" Ren reached up to pull the yellow tape. On impulse, Hikaru threw himself across the bus, and landed in her seat. They fought against each other: one trying to stop the bus while the other preventing it with all of his strength. But as their laughing and shouting echoed loud in the quiet bus, Hikaru thought this was nice, being himself. No fake smiles. No trying to please anyone - just natural and effortless fun. There was a time when she meant nothing to him, yet tonight, Hikaru was surprised to feel grateful to be with her.
"Quiet down back there!" Demanded the bus driver. The two Ouran students quickly settled down, placing their hands on their own laps. The man returned his eyes to the road again. The sensation she held back for so long finally came out. Ren leaned forward and covered her nose the moment blood spilled out. Hikaru turned away, snickering.
The bus gave a turn, and drove out of town, leaving the cluttered buildings and abandon warehouses behind, heading directly towards the oldest and most prestigious estates in the area that housed most of the students attending Ouran Academy.
"Let me know when we get there." Giving a sigh of comfort, Hikaru leaned back with hands behind his head.
She turned to look at him, alarmed. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He yawned to hide the smile playing on his lips - he loved making her nervous. "I'm relaxing of course."
"But there's several other seats to relax in." She said as she looked around the empty bus. They were the only passengers riding.
He waved his hand dismissively. "Too tired."
"I don't care!" She tried pushing him over the edge of her bus seat. Despite his skinny body, he was hard to move. "I don't want you sitting with me."
A thought came to his mind, and he smirked deviously. He turned to her quickly then, taking her heart-shaped face into his hands. The gold in his eyes blazed, unleashing its full, devastating power on her. "Please, let me sit with you."
God, enough with the torment for one night! The power of his flawless beauty began to take its toll on her. She whispered a feeble, "No,"
You asked for it, he thought. And so he leaned closer - breaking her number one rule. He smelled amazing. The delicious scent was intoxicating. Her heart accelerated. Damn him. Damn that dazzling creature. But before she could fall into her swoon, she bit down on her lower lip, hard. The feeling of pain momentarily freed her mind from his mesmerizing eyes. A furious expression crossed her face, and she hauled back a hand to push him away, but he caught her wrist in his hand.
"I wouldn't," he said coolly.
"No?" She asked, blushing. "What are you going to do about it?"
A twisted smile pulled at his lips, and then, without warning, forced her back. With a cry of surprise she fell against the windshield. Hikaru pressed her wrist on the cold glass, sending shivers down her spine. He looked down at her, poised on his knees over her body. Their faces were merely centimeters away, but she kept staring at him, practically going cross-eyed. Then, as if from a distance, she heard him speak.
"Please," he mumbled darkly, and there was a certain edge to his voice that she couldn't identify. "I want to sit with you . . . Ren."
Her dark eyes widen. The sound of his musical voice saying her name soothed the rapid beatings of her heart, numbing her entire body from head to toe. She sat frozen in place, jaw hanging. Hikaru seemed confused. Where was the massive nosebleed? He lifted the hand that held her wrist and poked her forehead twice to check if she was alive. She was alive, but somehow her brain refused to function properly.
She goes into shock when I say her name?
He let his head drop, eyes hidden behind a veil of red bangs. His shoulders began to shake. He pressed his lips together to stifle a chuckle. But it was just too funny! Hikaru threw his head back and burst out laughing. Blinking out from her momentarily frozen state, slightly in a haze, Ren looked up. She made a face. Was he laughing at her? She watched as the Hitachiin's laughter eventually dissolved, but his smile never left him. He moved away from Ren, and sat correctly on the bus seat.
"You're such a handful," sighed Hikaru, leaving it at that.
Blowing her bangs out of her eyes, Ren quickly sat upright and twisted around, giving her back to the Hitachiin. She glared at the passing outskirts of town through the windshield with a faint blush. At least she was going home.
In a huge bedroom several posters of the Host Club were pinned to the walls, but seen more often were pictures of the Hitachiin brothers. Hikaru's and Kaoru's face was everywhere, from Brotherly Love notebooks to Little Devil key-chains.
On top of a cream colored vanity table, where a vast array of cosmetics laid out, was a pink cell phone. The screen flashed blue, making a low rumbling sound as it began to vibrate.
Sprawled across a bed with four-posters, a girl looked up from the romance Manga in her hands. The cell continued to quiver across the vanity, knocking into different accessories - tubes of lipgloss and mascara rolled over the edge. She set the book aside, and kicked off her pink sheets.
When she reached her vanity, she picked up the cell phone and opened it, killing the vibration. She adjusted the glasses on the bridge of her nose before reading the text message out loud.
"Can you believe this?"
The girl frowned, puzzled, and pressed the Open button on the touch screen. The picture that was sent to her via e-mail appeared. Her green eyes open wide with surprise. She gasped. The cell phone fell from her hands. For a good long second she stared at her horror-stricken expression in the mirror, and watched a whole different emotion slowly take over her face. Jealousy. She screamed, shoving everything off the vanity onto the floor. Out of sheer rage, she lifted the vase filled with a bouquet of red roses and hurled it towards the mirror. It shattered. Roses fell everywhere. The water cascading down the mirror made her reflection look wavy and disoriented. One by one silent tears trailed over her cheeks. She clutched her chest with both hands and let her body fall to the floor. Her heart was broken.
Even though the powder from a purple eyeshadow was lightly sheen over the glowing screen, the image was still vivid. It showed two teenagers on Third Street, downtown. The shot was taken from a distance, through a restaurant window. The teenagers were easy to identify. Hikaru Hitachiin had a small smile, his hair wet and disheveled. And behind him, wearing a sodden black cloak with the hood pulled back, was Ren Ichihara.
They were holding hands.