A/N: I promise I don't plan to post a new chapter every day. But the weekends are good for writing! Also, in case there is any confusion about the timeframe of this story, it is pre-slash, when they were only partners and nothing more, yet.
Of course Danny was shot in the thigh moments before the drug runners shoved him from the boat he and Steve had boarded. Thank God he had on his life preserver. As much as he hated wearing them, he knew this one was actually going to preserve his life, just like the name claimed.
He watched in some horror as the boat kept going, no evidence that it was slowing or circling back to reclaim him from the water. That was bad on so many levels he couldn't even begin to count them. Mostly what it meant was that Steve had also been incapacitated by the scum or he would have brought the boat back around. Great. Just great. Danny had known from the minute Steve pointed his gun at him inside his garage that first day that Steve really would end up being the death of him. He would have been perfectly happy being wrong about that. But no. Right again it seemed.
Danny did everything he knew to ignore the searing pain in his leg and the competing pain in his head. The headache was worse only because it throbbed with each movement he made with any part of his body. The blurred vision wasn't helping much either. Not that there was much to see except miles and miles of empty blue water.
He supposed the salt water had at least partially cauterized the gunshot wound in his thigh. The bleeding seemed to have slowed and the pain had been reduced to nearly bearable. He figured that's how Victor Hesse had survived – falling into the ocean after Steve shot him. And he'd read The Bourne Identity. Jason Bourne had survived multiple gun shot wounds before he was dumped into the ocean. A novel, sure. But the knowledge that he had lived, even if he was a fictional character, was immensely comforting to Danny. As comforting as anything could be as he tried valiantly to remain afloat and not panic while wondering if he would live to see Gracie again.
All right, he told himself firmly. I can do this. I can survive until Chin and Kono find me. They know where we were going. It's only a matter time before they show up. I only have to survive until then.
His thoughts were not as comforting as he would have liked. He tried again to concentrate on remaining conscious and alert so he couldn't slip out of his life jacket by accident. First order of business was to kick off his shoes. That would help prevent some of the downward drag.
Now, what would Steve McGarrett do in this situation? He would stay calm. He would assess the situation. He would determine which way land was so he could start toward it.
Despite what Steve had claimed on numerous occasions, Danno could swim. He could swim for survival. Checking the location of the sun, Danny began to slowly and painfully propel himself in the direction of the island they had left behind half an hour earlier when he and Steve had stowed away on the boat. Not their best idea but Steve had decided that the drug runners would take them to the bosses and taking them down would cut off the supply.
Danny concentrated on Steve's reasoning, or lack thereof, as he swam with one leg, not thinking about how much pain he was in or how thirsty he was or how there could be sharks in the water circling him at that very moment. He could block all of that out. He could ignore the pain and the weariness and the fear. He didn't know fear. He refused to acknowledge pain. He could go into warrior mode and survive this. That was all there was to it.
His lungs were bursting. His arms were cramping. His injured leg was numb. But he didn't stop. Wouldn't stop. His training wouldn't let him. Survival. It was all about survival. He would be found. His team would not leave him to a watery grave. They were coming. Just like they always had….
~o0o~
Steve was reading aloud the latest pre-season baseball assessment from the Sporting News. Not that he cared which team had the best starting pitching or needed a new third baseman. But reading aloud had become a part of their wait – waiting for Danny to emerge from his coma.
It had been a week since Chin and Kono had found Danny and rescued him. Steve would have joined them on their search but the drug runners had left him behind on the boat when they fled on a second one. Once Steve had freed himself, he had coaxed the barely working boat back to the harbor, the damage extensive, especially to the radio onboard. It was only after Steve had arrived at the harbor did he learn that Danny had been shoved overboard. He thought the drug runners had taken him on the second boat. Before he could convince the EMTs that he was fine and had to join the search, Chin and Kono radioed the HPD officers with Steve that they had found Danny.
Steve had met them at the hospital, feeling guilty that Danny had been so badly injured and tossed overboard while he was incapacitated and below deck. It didn't factor into Steve's thinking that he couldn't do anything to help Danny while he himself was being beaten for refusing to reveal how much info 5-0 had gathered on the cartel.
By the time Chin and Kono had found Danny, his face was blistered by the sun, his hands and arms a frightening shade of angry red. The diagnosis was not a surprise to any of them – dehydration, blood loss, concussion.
The doctors had put Danny into a drug-induced coma to allow his body to overcome the trauma he had experienced while being in the water, wounded and concussed. The brain swelling was the most worrisome and the coma gave it a chance to subside.
Over the last four days Danny had still remained comatose, the doctors concerned but not overly so. It was natural, they said. He by rights should have died in the ocean and no one could figure out how he had conjured the will to survive under such horrific circumstances. Steve wished he would wake up already, to smile at them with eyes bright and a rant on his lips, about hospitals and the ocean and Hawaii in general. But still he remained nearly motionless in the bed, looking far too small and vulnerable.
Steve returned to reading the chances of the Yankees making it to the World Series. The 5-0 team had been reading to him since they were allowed to sit with Danny. The hospital had enough history with them all to know they would not be able to make them leave, and acknowledging that having their familiar presence would help Danny emerge from the coma. Because there was no question in any of their minds that he would wake up. It was only a matter of time.
It was Steve's turn to sit with Danny, where he would remain without eating or drinking or doing any of those things he couldn't remember to do until Chin or Kono or Grace reminded him. Grace would be arriving in a couple of hours and she and Rachel would hold their vigil until Chin came to take the overnight hours. Grace understood what was going on as well as any eight year old could. It wasn't the first time her Danno had been in the hospital unable to respond to her. She wanted him to wake up but remained much calmer than any of them had believed possible.
Steve was about to move from the Yankees to their possible National League opponents when he felt Danny stir. They were accustom to him moving restless, muttering words they couldn't quite make out. But this was different. This was more purposeful.
Steve stood so he could see all of Danny, watching his eyelids try to flutter. Steve took Danny's hand, holding to it tightly. "Come on, babe. Wake up for me. Come back. We need you. Gracie needs you. Come on. Wake up," Steve repeated, watching closely.
His heart stilled for just a second when Danny opened his eyes, staring directly at Steve. Steve could only smile.
"Hi. Welcome back."
Danny frowned, closing his eyes. "Bright," he croaked, his voice unused and rough.
Steve understood all too well and after pressing the call button pulled the curtains over the windows and lowered the overhead lights. "Better?"
Danny squinted up at him and nodded once, flinching slightly at the minimal movement. "Wha' happened?"
"You were shot and ended up in the ocean."
Danny seemed to consider that for a moment, frowning again. He looked like he was about to say something else when the door opened to admit the duty nurse.
"Everything okay?" she asked Steve, approaching the bed.
"Better than okay," he said, gesturing to Danny with a smile. "He's awake."
"Excellent news," she agreed. "I'll get the doctor."
Steve nodded absently, looking down at Danny and taking his hand back into his. Steve wished Danny's hand was warmer but knew soon it would be waving about, punctuating Danny's words in his own particular manner.
"How long?" Danny asked, trying to focus on Steve.
"You've been out for a week," Steve told him, watching for any reaction. Danny just nodded.
Danny used the hand not wrapped in Steve's to point at Steve, all of his words used up for now.
"Me?" Steve asked, Danny nodding. "I'm fine. They tied me up but I wasn't shot."
Danny lifted their joined hands, looking at the fading bruises on Steve's wrist, frowning at the vibrant colors still there. He also pointed to Steve's face, several purple and yellow splotches visible.
"I'm fine," Steve assured him. He stepped out of the way as the doctor strolled in, his face warm and friendly. He took his responsibilities to his patients very seriously but not himself. He laughed more than any doctor Steve had ever met and he was glad for it.
"Hello," Dr. Brownley said, smiling down at Danny. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Danny said with a shrug. "Ready to go home."
"Not so fast," the doctor said, shaking his head. "First things first. Do you know where you are?" he asked as he carefully shone his pen light into Danny's eyes. He nodded at Danny's even and responsive pupils.
"Hospital," Danny said, looking around him as though it should be obvious.
"Where?" the doctor asked kindly.
"Hawaii," Danny responded.
"Do you know what day it is?"
"No," Danny decided.
"That's understandable. Can you tell me your name?" the doctor asked, certain that everything was it should be.
"Steve McGarrett," came the answer from the bed. It was said with the same authority as was hospital or Hawaii.
"Steve McGarrett," the doctor repeated calmly, glancing up at Steve where he stood beside him. Steve looked…shocked. Or frightened? Or…the doctor wasn't quite sure. "Who is this?" the doctor asked, pointing at Steve.
Danny frowned at the question, looking up at Steve. "My partner," he said in relief, certain he had gotten it right.
"Yes," the doctor agreed. "What is his name?"
"Mmm…" Danny licked his chapped and split lips, staring up at Steve, the frown of concentration returning to his face. "Mmm… 'm not sure," he finally admitted.
"Do you know who Grace Williams is?" Dr. Brownley asked, familiar with Danny's devotion to his daughter. From all of the times he'd treated the members of 5-0, he knew their immediate and extended families, their favorite foods, and how long he could reasonably expect them to stay confined to bed. Not long was the invariable answer.
Danny nodded in response to the doctor's question about Grace but didn't say anything.
"Who is she?" Dr. Brownley prompted.
"Daughter," Danny finally said, looking down at his peeling hands rather than at the doctor.
"Whose daughter?" the doctor asked.
"His?" Danny asked, glancing briefly up at Steve.
"What do you do for a living?" Dr. Brownley asked, patiently waiting as Danny considered that question.
"Head up 5-0," Danny said.
"And before that?"
"SEALs. Classified," Danny told him, a distinct 'don't ask me any more questions' expression on his face.
"All right," Dr. Brownley said with a smile and a nod. "Your partner and I are going to step right outside your room."
"Talk about me here," Danny demanded.
"That's not in your best interest," Dr. Brownley said, his tone even firmer than Danny's. "He'll be back in five minutes."
"Five minutes," Danny said, making it sound remarkably like an order not to be ignored.
"Yes. Would you like to try eating something?" the doctor offered.
"No. Water?" Danny asked.
"Of course. I'll have the nurse bring it to you. Little sips. Your body isn't used to processing anything."
Danny nodded, watching as they left him alone.
Dr. Brownley carefully closed the door after asking the nurse to go in and help him drink some water.
"Well?" Steve demanded.
"It's not unheard of," Dr. Brownley informed him calmly. "It's a form of trauma induced amnesia."
"He hasn't forgotten. He thinks he's me," Steve said in anger. But why he was angry wasn't clear to even him.
"I know this is a shock to you, Commander. I understand that. But look at it from his point of view. He was shot and knocked in the ocean. He didn't know if there was any realistic possibility he would be found in time - if at all. Who does he know that would stand the best chance of survival under those circumstances?" Dr. Brownley asked kindly. He watched as his words made an impression on Steve.
"I would," Steve said slowly, recognizing the truth of what the doctor was telling him.
"Yes. Danny did precisely what he thought you would do in order to survive. He had a pretty severe concussion and significant blood loss. It went from doing what he thought you would do to becoming you."
Steve nodded, glancing at the closed door to Danny's room. "Will he remember? That he's not me?"
"I'm certain he will. He doesn't have SEAL training. He didn't go to Annapolis. He'll realize the pieces don't fit quite right. There is no way to tell how long that might take," the doctor said before Steve could ask.
"What about Grace?"
"She may be the key. She may be the one that makes him remember that he's her father, not you. Or he may still think you're her father. You'll need to explain it to her. I feel sure she'll understand."
"Yeah," Steve agreed, glancing at his watch. "She'll be out of school in half an hour. I'll call Rachel and ask if I can pick Grace up. Bring her here."
"Excellent idea," the doctor agreed. "Make sure you tell Danny where you're going. I don't want him to think you've just left."
"I will. People are going to call me Steve. Is that going to be a problem?" Steve asked.
"It will be confusing," the doctor said with a warm laugh. "But don't pretend you aren't."
Steve nodded at that. "What about people calling him Danny?"
"He'll deny it. Correct them. Mostly people will probably not call him anything," the doctor reminded him.
"True. All right. Thank you," Steve said, bouncing on his toes, a normal state when he was too agitated to stand still.
"He's going to be fine, Steve. You will be too," Dr. Brownley assured him.
Steve watched the doctor walk down the hallway before entering Danny's room to find him anxiously watching the door. "I'm right here." He barely noticed that the nurse slipped out once Steve was back inside.
Danny didn't respond except for relaxing imperceptivity.
"I'm going to go pick up Grace from school," Steve said when he stood next to Danny's bed. "I'll bring her here to see you. She's been worried about you."
"Is it your day?" Danny asked.
"Not normally. But Rachel will make an exception, I'm sure," Steve told him.
"What day is it?" Danny asked.
"Tuesday. You were shot a week ago," Steve told him.
"Have Chin and Kono been by?"
"Of course," Steve assured him. "I'll call and let them know you are awake. Tell them to come right over, if that's okay with you."
Danny nodded at that, looking up at Steve again. "What is your name?" he asked quietly, his blue eyes intense.
"Steve," Steve said simply.
Danny shook his head at that. "No."
"It is," he said, reaching into his cargo pants for his driver's license. "See?"
Danny accepted it to study it closely. "This is a fake. I'm Steve McGarrett," Danny said, handing back the forged ID.
"Then I guess we both are," Steve said with a shrug. "I'm going for Grace. We'll be back in about half an hour."
"Okay," Danny agreed.
Steve called Rachel and explained about Danny. Rachel automatically agreed that Steve should pick up Grace and take her to the hospital. She was worried about Danny not knowing who he was but she'd experienced enough severe injuries to understand that the ultimate outcome was not up to them.
Next he called Chin, giving him and Kono the same information.
"I'm not ready for two of you, brah," Kono said making Steve smile.
"I'm sure you'll still be able to kick his ass," Steve assured her.
"And yours," she said before they hung up.
Steve got to the school just as the kids were getting out, calling for Grace who came to him warily.
"Hey," she said, looking up at him with huge brown eyes.
"Danno's awake, Monkey," Steve told her, talking her into his arms to hug her tight. "He's going to be okay."
"We knew he would be," she said with a nod, her arms around his neck. "You taking me to see him?"
"You know it," Steve agreed, carrying her to the Camaro. When he had her buckled in, her backpack secured behind her, he entered the car and angled himself so he was facing her as much as possible. "Do you remember what I said about Danno being hit on the head?"
She nodded, watching him closely. "You said he has a cacasion."
"A concussion," Steve agreed. "Sometimes when we get concussions, it makes us have amnesia. We forget things."
"Did Daddy forget something?" Grace asked. Steve could see she was considering their conversation very seriously and not for the first time he wished he was better at this – at giving complicated information to Grace in a way he could be sure she understood. Danny told him he did fine when he was talking to Grace but Steve worried about how much information was too much, and he never wanted to be guilty of patronizing her. He would never intentionally talk down to her.
"In a way," Steve said. "He, well, he's confused about who he is."
"Confused," she repeated, waiting for Steve to tell her the rest.
"When Danno was shot and fell into the ocean, he did what he had to so he would survive. He apparently thought about what I would do in the same situation."
Grace continued to stare up with Steve, the trust in her eyes almost heartbreaking to Steve.
"Dr. Brownley said that he's pretty sure that Danno thought so hard about what I would do if I had been the one knocked into the ocean, that now Danny thinks he is me," Steve finally said, watching Grace carefully.
"I don't understand," Grace said simply.
"Danno played a kind of 'let's pretend.' He pretended he was me. Because he had a concussion, he forgot that he is really your Danno and thinks he is me instead," Steve said, hoping that would make it clearer to her. But he wasn't entirely sure if it had helped.
"He thinks he is you," she said slowly. Steve nodded, sure she had something else to say about it. "Does he know everybody? Chin and Kono?"
"I'm not sure. They weren't there when I left. They were on their way. The doctor asked Danny who I am. He said his partner but doesn't know my name. We also asked Danny if he knows who Grace is. And of course he does," Steve said with a smile.
"Does he know he's my daddy?" Grace asked, as perceptive as always.
"He knows you are someone's daughter. He's not sure whose. He thinks maybe you're my daughter."
"Does he call you Danno?" Grace asked.
"No, Monkey. He doesn't call me anything. I showed him my driver's license, to show him that my name is Steve but he thinks it's fake."
"Will he remember? Will he know he's Danno?" Grace asked, a look of concentration on her face.
"The doctor said it is very likely Danny will remember," Steve told her.
"Okay," she said finally. "Can I go see him now?"
"Of course," Steve agreed, starting the car and taking them both to see Danno.
Steve held tightly to Grace's hand as they walked down the familiar corridor. She didn't seem especially worried which was a relief to him. He supposed that being the child of a policeman had made it harder for her to be fazed by too much.
As they approached the door to Danny's room, Grace slowed then stopped, tugging on Steve's hand.
"What is it, Gracie?" he asked as he knelt down next to her.
"I don't want him to be scared," she said.
"Scared?" Steve repeated gently. "Why would he be scared?"
"If he doesn't know who I belong to," she said, her eyes rounder than usual even for her.
"He won't worry about that. He'll be thrilled to see you. You are his Monkey no matter what he thinks his name is," Steve assured her.
She thought about that before nodding. When Steve stood up, he was holding her on his hip, Grace not prepared to face her father without Steve's solid comforting presence.
Steve opened the door, Chin and Kono immediately greeting Grace. She smiled at them before turning to look at Danny. "Hi," she said, smiling shyly at him.
"Hi Gracie," Danny said, his smile as warm and happy as it was whenever he saw his Grace. "I'm okay."
She shook her head before turning to whisper in Steve's ear. He nodded, setting her carefully on the edge of Danny's bed. "I'm glad you woke up."
"Me too," he agreed, reaching up to run his fingers through her brown hair.
"Did you see the pictures I drew for you?" she asked, pointing to where they were taped on the wall next to his bed.
"I did. They are beautiful," Danny said. "Thank you."
"When will you be able to go home?" Grace asked.
"I'm not sure. Another few days, I guess. Why?"
"You need to listen to the doctors," she told him, sounding very much like her mother when she said it.
"I promise," Danny told her. "And as soon as I'm back home, you can come over, to play on the beach and take a swim."
"Good," Grace agreed. "How's your leg?"
He shrugged at that, moving the cover aside to show her the bandage.
"Looks like it hurts," she decided.
"I've had worse," he told her, yawning before he could stop it.
"Can I stay a little while longer?" she asked Steve, looking up at him in pleading.
"Of course you can, Monkey. Your mom will come get you at 6:30 so you go home and have some dinner. How does that sound?" Steve asked.
"Good," Grace decided, turning back to Danny to tell him every single thing that had happened during the week he had been out. They noticed that she didn't stop talking even after he had fallen asleep. She understood that hearing her voice was probably the best medicine of all.
"Any improvement?" Steve asked quietly from where they were sitting on the floor not far from Danny's bed. Except for shaking their heads, Chin and Kono didn't respond, not knowing what to say in this situation. "Did he know you?" Steve asked, studying them.
"Once we told him our names, he knew who we were," Chin said.
"He'll remember, boss," Kono assured him. "Like Dr. Brownley said, things won't add up and he'll figure it out."
"I hope so. I'm not sure what to do if he still thinks he's me when he's released. He obviously thinks he lives in my house," Steve said. "Should I move his clothes in? Or…?"
"You'll need him at your house no matter what," Chin pointed out. "The doctor isn't going to let him return to work right away. Better he's with you than by himself."
"That's true," Steve agreed. "All right. I'll go to his apartment and pack up some of his clothes."
"We can do that," Kono said, patting Steve on the shoulder.
"Thank you," Steve said in relief. "You told the governor, right?"
"I called him," Chin confirmed. "He said we have as much time as we need. They won't call us unless they absolutely have to."
"Good," Steve said.
~o0o~
Three days later, Danny was released with strict orders to remain home and to rest for the next week. And when he moved around, he needed to do so on the crutches. He tried to refuse to which Dr. Brownley responded that it was crutches or another 3 days in the hospital. That convinced him, a frown firmly on his face as Steve pushed the wheelchair out to the Camaro.
Once Danny was settled in the car, Steve pulled out and drove them carefully toward his house. Kono and Chin had moved some of Danny's clothes into the guest room, opening those windows and dusting the furniture, making up the bed and putting a picture of Grace on the bedside table. They brought over more of Grace's toys, ready for her to visit that weekend. Rachel said that of course Grace should be with Steve and Danny for the weekend now that Danny was out of the hospital.
"So," Danny said, glancing over at Steve. He was considering his next words, a change from his usual habit of speaking and getting to the point eventually. Or never. Steve was chagrined to realize that he missed Danny's rants, the sound as soothing as the ocean to him. Danny's rants told him everything he needed to know about Danny's mood without listening to the actual words – the pitch, the ebb and flow, the length. So long as Steve nodded and provided the occasional 'uh huh,' 'right,' or 'really?' Danny would continue until he ran out of steam or words.
"Yeah?" Steve prompted, momentarily forgetting that it was now required.
"You and I," Danny said, looking over at Steve with a determined expression.
"You and I?" Steve repeated, glancing over at him.
"Are we…?"
"Partners," Steve answered when Danny stopped.
"Outside of work?" Danny asked.
"You mean, do we date?" Steve asked, hoping Danny was not about to ask some potentially embarrassing questions.
"Yes. Are we a couple?"
"No," Steve said, thinking he might need to add to that but not sure how to explain.
"Because of 'don't ask don't tell'?" Danny asked.
"It's more complicated than that," Steve said. "We are best friends. We have been accused more than once of being married. But we've never taken the next step."
"Because?" Danny prompted.
"Because you work… we work together. We aren't sure it's a good idea. And I'm pretty sure you've never had any sexual experience with men," Steve admitted, hoping the color rising on his cheeks was not obvious.
"I'm in the Navy," Danny said firmly as though it negated Steve's comment.
"That doesn't automatically equate to experimenting or hook-ups or…." Steve stopped, at a loss to explain that any further. "We've never discussed whether or not there is more in our future than friendship."
Danny turned to look out his window and Steve could tell he was considering his answer. "Is it what you want?" Danny finally asked.
"That doesn't matter. Since I don't know what you want. I'm not in this alone. We both have to decide if it's what we want," Steve responded. He regretted sounding angry but this conversation was from one of his worst proverbial nightmares.
"Did you ever ask me?" Danny responded, a dog with a bone.
"Stop," Steve finally requested, shaking his head. "I can't have this conversation with you right now. I really can't. This is not something we can talk about while you are still recovering. We'll talk about it eventually but not just yet. Why you can't just take no for an answer is beyond me. I swear I don't understand you sometimes."
Danny was still watching him, his eyes narrowed. "Do you always talk so much?" He was no less confused when Steve laughed and didn't stop until they reached the house.
Danny looked up at the house as Steve got his crutches from the backseat, coming around to Danny's side. Steve tried to help Danny out of the car but his assistance was brushed off with an impatient motion. Steve led him the short distance up the walk, unlocking the door and turning off the alarm, waiting for Danny to make his way in.
"I gave you a key and the code to the alarm?" Danny asked as he continued past Steve and into the living room.
"Something like that," Steve said, closing the door and following Danny deeper into the house. He watched as Danny looked around the room, carefully moving closer to the bookshelves and examining the photos. Danny picked one up to study it before returning it. Three of the other photos received the same intent study before Danny looked over at Steve who was watching and waiting.
"Why are all these photos of you?" Danny finally asked, gesturing to the one of Steve in his high school football uniform. The other pictures had Steve in them, along with his father or Danny or Danny and Grace or members of 5-0.
Steve knew this was the first of many awkward questions and wished he knew how to best answer them. Dr. Brownley had said to be honest but in the face of Danny's confusion, that was not as easy as Steve would have liked.
"Did you put them here?" Danny finally asked.
"Yes," Steve answered honestly.
"Why?"
"Because it's my house?" Steve said, wondering why it sounded like a question. Was he so unbalanced by Danny that he couldn't answer a simple question?
Danny shook his head, sitting heavily on the couch. "I never thanked you."
"For what?" Steve asked, not following the line of Danny's thoughts.
"For staying with me in the hospital."
"It's what we do," Steve told him, perching on the arm of the sofa. "You've done the same for me."
"I'll be fine by myself if you want to go home. Have some time to yourself," Danny said. His tone implied that he would like the time to himself but was too polite to say it when it would sound so ungrateful.
"I am home," Steve said casually, hoping he was hiding the tiny heartbreak he felt at Danny's words.
"You live here. With me," Danny finally said, looking up at Steve.
"I live here," Steve confirmed.
"I see," Danny said. Steve thought the look on his face would be best described as 'pinched' – displeased, strained, agitated.
"I was thinking of taking a swim," Steve said before he could further consider Danny's expression. "If you'll be okay."
"I'm fine," Danny assured him.
"Do you want something to drink? Or to eat?" Steve offered, standing up.
"Some water?" Danny requested.
"Yes," Steve agreed with a nod. "Then you can take your pain medicine and your antibiotics." Steve got him a glass of water and his pills, fetching the TV remote on his way back. Danny accepted them, watching Steve take the steps up two at a time.
Steve entered his bedroom and very carefully closed the door before sitting on the edge of his bed. He didn't know if he could do this. It was too surreal. Having to explain everything. Providing explanations he could only hope were reasonable. He regretted not accepting Chin and Kono's offer to come over but he sensed that Danny did need some time to adjust. And Grace would be here as soon as school was out. Rachel would be dropping her off although she didn't plan to come inside. Neither of them wanted to try to explain to Danny that she was his ex-wife.
Knowing he'd have a clearer head and a better attitude after swimming, Steve pulled on his board shorts and returned back downstairs. Danny wasn't in the living room which worried Steve until he saw him outside sitting under a tree.
"Hey," Steve said when he stood next to him. He felt Danny's eyes on him, the look as tangible as a touch would have been.
"Hi," Danny replied, squinting up at him.
"Feeling claustrophobic?" Steve finally asked.
"Something like that," Danny agreed, turning his focus to the ocean.
"Did you come out here without your crutches?" Steve asked, his eyes narrowed. Danny ignored him, Steve shaking his head. "Dr. Brownley said you needed to be careful. You could still tear your stitches. What part of 'walk on crutches' was not clear to you?"
Danny made a brief movement of dismissal with his hand, making Steve's frown deepen.
"I bet you didn't take your pain medicine either, did you?" Steve asked. Danny didn't respond but Steve could see the lines of pain around his mouth and eyes. "You don't have to be brave. We aren't going to be called for a case. I'm not going anywhere but to take a swim. There is no reason for you to be in pain when you have a way to stop it."
"It's not bad," Danny lied.
Steve snorted, returning to the house for Danny's crutches and pain medicine. When he stood next to Danny's chair, he handed him the pain pill, daring him not to take it. Once Danny had swallowed it, Steve nodded in satisfaction.
"You don't have to babysit me," Danny said into the silence that was broken only by the waves.
"That was not my intention," Steve assured him. "I'm only interested in making sure you are okay. And that you have everything you need."
"I'm fine. Go swim," Danny said.
Steve finally nodded, going down to the water and diving in. It did feel good to be in the ocean again, slicing through the water, nothing to think about but the rhythm of his breathing, the stretch and pull of his muscles as they worked to propel him forward.
He wasn't sure how long he had been swimming when he decided it had been long enough. He was tired as he emerged but in a good kind of way. Not the emotional exhaustion he had been battling for the ten days.
Danny was still in the same place as he crossed the beach but he had fallen asleep in the chair. The pain pills had that effect so Steve wasn't surprised. It was one of the reasons they both avoided them whenever possible, Steve even more so than Danny.
A quick check of his watch assured him that he had time to shower off the salt water before Grace arrived. He was coming back down the steps in clean cargos and a polo when the door opened to admit their little ray of sunshine.
"Hiya Monkey," Steve said with a smile, squatting down to accept her hug.
"Hi," she responded, squeezing tight. "How's Danno?"
"He fell asleep under the trees," Steve told her, taking her backpack to put it on the stairs. It would go upstairs with her when she was ready. "You want a snack?"
"Can I go see him?"
"Of course," Steve agreed, walking with her to the doors. He stayed just inside, watching as she continued down to where Danny was sitting. She stood by his chair, studying him before giving him a very light kiss on the cheek. Satisfied, she came back to the house to request her snack from Steve.
As they were finishing up, Danny came slowly back into the house on his crutches, smiling over her. "Hi Grace."
"Hi," she responded brightly. "Are you feeling better?"
"I'm fine," he assured her, sitting at the table with her. Steve was washing the dishes they had used for their snack, listening but not interfering. "How was school?"
She told him, repeating most of what she had already told Steve. "And Tommy said the aliens will be here next week."
"Tommy said that?" Danny said, a question for Grace and a request for help from Steve.
"Remember what we said about Tommy?" Steve said, leaning against the cabinet to face Grace as he dried his hands on a bright white towel.
"We put the closed sign on our ears," she repeated dutifully.
"That's right. Did you tell Tommy you weren't listening to him?" Steve asked gently.
"I did, Uncle Steve. But he said he saw it on TV."
"Uncle Steve?" Danny said, looking up at Steve in confusion.
"He's my Uncle Steve," Grace confirmed.
"Not your father," Danny said in a considering tone.
"You're her father," Steve said, wondering again if he was doing the right thing. They had already discussed Danny being Grace's father but apparently Danny either didn't remember or didn't believe it.
"You are my Danno," Grace agreed, looking from Danny to Steve, the hurt on her face hurting Steve.
"Your Danno," Danny repeated, the word unfamiliar to him.
"Yes," Grace said a little too loudly. "Yes, you are my Danno."
"Gracie," Steve said gently, squatting before her. "I know you're upset but that's no reason to yell, is it?"
"He doesn't know, Uncle Steve. He doesn't know I'm his Gracie." The tears that started falling were as heart-wrenching as they were unsurprising.
"He will, Gracie. He will," Steve promised her, taking her into his arms to hold her tight against him.
"I'm sorry," Danny whispered, looking up at Steve holding Grace.
"She'll be okay," Steve assured him, carrying her outside to sit with her on one of the beach chairs. "You don't need to cry, Babe. Danny's going to be okay."
"He doesn't know I'm his Monkey," Grace said through her tears, her voice muffled by Steve's shirt.
"I know. We talked about this, remember? How Danny has amnesia?"
"Uh huh," she sniffled.
"Why are you crying? You've been such a brave girl up until now. What has changed that?" He dug his handkerchief out of one of his many pockets, using it to mop up her face. When he was done, she buried her face into his neck, her body tense against his. "What is it, Grace? Talk to me," he requested, his right hand resting on the back of her head.
"Tommy said Danny isn't my daddy any more."
"Oh Gracie. Tommy says a lot of things, most of which aren't true. Of course Danno is your daddy. Even if he doesn't remember, he still loves you. Danno will always love you."
"He will?"
"That will never change," Steve promised. "He asked me if you could come after school and stay this weekend. He wanted you here."
"He did?" she asked, growing calmer.
"He did. Your mom agreed because she knows how much Danno loves you. Okay?"
She sniffed, leaning against him before nodding resolutely. "I'm sorry I got your shirt wet."
"It will dry," he said, kissing her on the head. "Let's go back in and see Danno."
"Okay," she agreed, holding tight to him as he stood. She didn't usually want to be held or carried so much but these circumstances were far from usual and whatever provided her comfort was what he would gladly provide to her.
"I'm sorry," Danny said up to them when Steve stood in front of the couch, Grace looking down at Danny.
"It's okay, Danno. You can't help that you forgot," Grace told him. "Can we watch Finding Nemo?"
"Of course," Steve agreed, settling her on the couch next to Danny. He started the movie, watching Danny study Grace with love lighting his eyes. That hadn't changed. "If you two are okay, I need to go do some housework."
"We're good," Grace said, leaning against Danny who automatically wrapped one arm around her and pulled her closer. She sighed, tension ebbing from her body as she became absorbed in the familiar movie.
It was about an hour later that Steve returned to the living room to find Grace and Danny laughing at the movie. Danny looked better than he had since before he was in the hospital and Grace looked completely at home with him.
"Kono and Chin called to check on you," Steve said, sitting on the arm of the couch and smiling at the two of them.
"You tell them I have everything I need?" Danny asked, hugging Grace with one arm.
"I did," Steve agreed. "They wanted to know if they can bring us dinner."
"I'd like that. What about you, Monkey?" Danny asked her.
"Pizza!" Grace requested with a bright smile.
"Pizza it is," Steve confirmed, taking out his phone and calling Kono. She said they would be there in 45 minutes complete with more beer and soda for Grace. They just wouldn't tell Rachel.
As promised, Kono and Chin arrived with pizza, beer, soda, and ice cream. Their choices were met with great approval, everyone gathering around the dining room table to share their bounty. Chin regaled them with how Kono had wiped out on her first wave this afternoon, face planting in the sand. Kono tried to deny it but Chin only had to touch her hair to bring back fingers with a fine coating of sand. They all laughed, Kono threatening them with all manners of bodily harm. But the twinkle in her eyes was unmistakable. It was even brighter when Grace extracted her promise to continue her surfing lesson in the morning.
"Will you come get me?" Grace asked her.
"I'll take you," Steve told Grace as he reached over to wipe a stray piece of cheese from her cheek. His hand stilled as he watched Danny take another slice of pizza, one from the pineapple and ham pie. Steve's surprise telegraphed it to everyone else, all of them turning to watch Danny take a large bite.
"What?" Danny asked in confusion.
"You're eating ham and pineapple, Danno," Grace finally said.
"Yeah?"
"You hate ham and pineapple," Kono said evenly.
"I do?" Danny asked, looking at the slice still in his hand.
"You rant about it being an abomination, brah," Chin confirmed.
"I rant?" Danny was considering all that they had said, looking at Chin in some question.
"It's your normal form of communication," Chin said making it sound much kinder than accusatory.
"Huh," Danny finally said, returning his focus to his pizza. Everybody else resumed eating, wondering silently about this pseudo-Danny and if they would get the real one back.
~o0o~
The next morning, Steve got up at his usual time, going out for his swim in the early light. He was a little surprised to emerge from the ocean to find Danno sitting in one of the beach chairs, sipping from a cup of coffee, a second on the arm of the empty chair.
"Good morning," Steve said as he dried his face and swiped the towel over his body.
"Morning," Danny returned, openly watching Steve and making no effort to disguise his admiration.
"Grace still asleep?" Steve asked as he sat next to Danny, pretending Danny didn't have a hungry look in his eyes.
"She is," Danny agreed. "She's a very special little girl."
"She is that," Steve said with a smile.
"Who is her mother?" Danny asked, frowning in a way Steve had learned meant he was trying to figure it out.
"Rachel."
"Your ex?" Danny asked.
"Yours. I've never been married," Steve corrected.
"Why not?"
"Life in the service," Steve said with a shrug.
"Yet I managed to marry and have a child as remarkable as Grace?"
"You were never in the service," Steve reminded him. They had discussed this topic several times but it seemed one of those things Danny couldn't or wouldn't remember.
"I was in the Navy," Danny insisted.
"What was your assignment?" Steve asked, keeping his building impatience at bay with some effort.
"I was a SEAL. Everything else is classified," Danny told him.
"You were never a SEAL, Danny. I was," Steve said, suspecting that some of his impatience was creeping into his tone.
"If I wasn't a SEAL, how did I survive being shot and nearly drowned?"
"By doing what you thought I would do," Steve repeated for, what, the 100th time? Amnesia didn't usually mean you lost what you had learned while you were recovering from it. Steve was pretty sure this was Danny being stubborn, not actually failing to remember the truth. "We've discussed this. I've told you that you were never a SEAL. You were a policeman in New Jersey. You moved here to be with Grace when Rachel remarried. I know you lost some of your memories but you should be able to retain what I've told you since."
Danny was staring at Steve, a look of confusion on his face. "None of that is the way I remember it."
"You don't remember. That's the problem."
"I'm sorry you're angry," Danny finally said, making Steve sigh.
"No, I'm sorry. I don't have any right to be angry," Steve said, shaking his head. "Tell me what you do remember. Tell me what's going on inside your head."
"It's… uhm… you know…."
"I don't know, Danny. Use your words and tell me," Steve requested.
"I know, or believe, you wouldn't lie to me. I know I trust you," Danny said slowly, considering each word. "But none of it adds up."
"What doesn't?"
"I don't know," Danny said in frustration, looking intently into his coffee cup. "I… want but… I don't know."
"All right. I'm sorry. I need to go shower so I can make breakfast," Steve said, not liking the sound of defeat in his own voice.
"I can do it," Danny offered.
"Thanks. But you don't need to stand up that long. I'll make us pancakes. It's Grace's favorite breakfast," Steve said with a fond smile.
"All right," Danny agreed, remaining in the beach chair as Steve went back into the house to shower and dress.
When he was out and ready, he went into Grace's room, one hand on her shoulder as he sat next to her on the bed. "Hey Monkey."
"Hey," she mumbled, barely opening her eyes.
"Wake up. We need to have breakfast so we can go surfing," he reminded her, smoothing the hair from her face.
"'Kay," she said, snuggling deeper into the covers.
"Don't fall back asleep. That brings the tickle-monster out of his hiding place," he warned.
"Not the tickle-monster," she said, more awake at the words.
"Oh yeah. I hear him coming. Oh no. He's here," Steve warned, tickling her through the covers. She squealed in delight, pretending to try to get away from him.
"I'm up. I'm up," she squealed, laughing as she squirmed under his hands. "Call him off."
"I don't know," Steve said, the tickles slowing but not stopping. "You aren't out of the bed yet. What if you fall asleep as soon as he leaves?"
"I'm up," Grace repeated, getting out from under the covers to stand on the bed. "See. I'm up. Call him off."
"All right. Put your swim suit on and come down for breakfast," Steve said with a laugh.
"Pancakes," she agreed in delight, jumping on the bed.
"No Monkey jumping on the bed," he said, snatching her up and twirling her around before depositing her on the floor. After kissing her on the head, he left her room to go down to the kitchen. The love he felt for her caught him by surprise once again, filling his heart in a way he never expected. And if he had started to have those same sort of feelings toward her father? Who could blame him? He and Danny had a connection neither of them had ever tried to deny. Two halves of the whole that slotted together seamlessly. Remaining distant from Danny had been difficult while he was recovering and he knew they would need to have a very serious discussion when Danny was back to himself. From the things Danny had said, Steve was pretty sure they would both end up with what they both wanted.
"I'm ready," Grace announced as she entered the kitchen, a tee shirt and shorts over her swim suit.
"So I see. I'll braid your hair after we eat if you want."
"'Kay," she agreed, looking around the kitchen. "Where's Daddy?"
"On the beach. You want to go get him?"
She nodded, racing out of the house and down to the beach. "Daddy," she called, stopping beside Danny's chair. "Good morning, Daddy."
"Good morning, sweetheart," he responded, kissing her. "You sleep well?"
"I did. Uncle Steve said breakfast is ready."
"Okay," Danny agreed, reaching down for his crutches. When he was sure they were steady under his arms, he followed Grace up to the house. Steve held the chair steady as Danny sat down, Steve refilling his coffee cup and giving Grace a glass of orange juice.
"Do you want to take a shower after we get back?" Steve asked Danny as Grace ate her pancakes.
"I would," Danny agreed. "Can you rebandage my leg?"
"It's not a problem," Steve said. "The hospital gave us all the supplies we need."
"Are you coming to the beach with us?" Grace asked Danny.
"I'd like to. But I think I better stay here," Danny said. Grace nodded in understanding, requesting another pancake. "Where are you putting all those?" Danny teased.
"I'm a growing girl," Grace told him happily, pouring more syrup on her pancake.
Danny was frowning down at his plate, not eating any of his food.
"Would you prefer something else?" Steve offered as he ate from his pancakes.
"Do you have any granola?" Danny asked.
Steve nodded, standing up to get it out of the cabinet, providing him a bowl, the milk and a banana.
"Thank you," Danny said with a nod.
Grace looked from Danny to Steve with a tiny frown marring her face. Steve leaned down and kissed her on the head, reassuring her that it was all right.
When Grace declared she'd had enough to eat, Steve finished his pancakes and put their dishes in the sink to soak. "We'll take care of them when we get back."
Grace nodded, nearly dancing in excitement. "I'm ready. Let's go."
"So I see, Monkey. You have your towel? Your sun screen?"
"Yep. Oh. Will you braid my hair?" she requested, looking up at Steve with round excited eyes.
"Right," Steve agreed, going with her into the living room. He sat on the couch, Grace standing between his knees as he brushed her hair. "One or two?"
"One," she decided, waiting patiently as he divided her hair and expertly braided it into a perfect French braid. After he secured it with her hair tie, he happened to glance up to find Danny watching them, a warm smile on his face.
"You're really good at that," Danny said with naked affection in his voice.
"I have a little sister. I learned on her, perfected it on Grace," Steve said with a shrug. "Okay, Monkey. I think we're ready now."
"Yep," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the door. "We'll see you later, Danno."
"Have fun and be careful out there," Danny said, watching them leave.
~o0o~
The house, as always, was way too quiet when Grace had left with Rachel. Grace wanted to spend Sunday night with them as well but Rachel thought that Steve and Danny probably needed some time to themselves. After many promises that Grace would be with them for dinner on Wednesday and a bonus weekend coming up, Grace left with Rachel.
Steve was in the kitchen, tidying up when he heard Danny come in. The quiet thump of the crutches make it impossible for Danny to sneak up on Steve, not that he had ever succeeded before he was injured.
"Hey," Danny said, sitting at the table and watching the steady, sure motions as Steve washed the few remaining dishes.
"Hey. You want something to drink?" Steve offered.
"Just some water?" Danny requested. Steve nodded, getting a glass and filling it with cold water from the fridge before setting it in front of Danny. Steve turned back to the sink, keeping his hands occupied and wishing he could his brain as busy. "Can you sit down for a minute?" Danny finally asked.
Steve's movements stopped, his shoulders going stiff. He didn't like the tone of Danny's voice, the sound sending warning signals out directly to Steve. "What's up?" Steve asked, sitting at the table and trying to look relaxed. He doubted he succeeded.
"Yesterday you asked me what I remember," Danny started, meeting Steve's eyes.
"Yeah," Steve said, nodding in counterfeit encouragement.
"It's like broken links," Danny said.
"Broken links."
"On a webpage. You find a link you think will give you the rest of the information you need. You click it but it's broken. It doesn't go anywhere. That's what it's like."
Steve nodded, Danny's words making complete sense to him.
"I think about Grace and I know I should remember when she was born. How my life changed from the day she arrived. But I try to think about it and… nothing. The link is broken. I know you and I are friends. And partners. I try to remember when we met. But I can't. I know I trust you with my life. And the fact that Grace is so comfortable around you means you've spent a lot of time with her. I don't remember it but I know it."
Steve waited, wishing there was something he could do to ease the tension etched around Danny's eyes and mouth. But he couldn't restore Danny's memories to him. He could only wait and do what Danny needed him to do. He just wasn't sure what that was.
"You said we are friends. And partners. Chin and Kono love you and respect you and are in some ways deferential to you. I take that to mean that we work for you. I don't head up 5-0. You do."
"Yes but it hardly matters," Steve assured him.
"That's what I figured," Danny agreed. "When Rachel was picking up Grace, I knew her on some level. Not the way you should know your ex-wife. But I knew she was Grace's mother even if I don't remember being her father."
"How can I help?" Steve finally asked, not able to stand seeing the pain on Danny's face. Pain that had nothing to do with his physical injuries.
"I don't know," Danny admitted. "I wish I did. Have you ever had amnesia?"
"Once. On a mission."
"How long?" Danny asked.
"A couple of weeks. We were in the middle of the operation and there was nothing we could do. My team had to keep me with them. I didn't know their names but I knew I trusted them. The skills I needed were part of my muscle memory so I wasn't a liability. If I had been…." Steve shrugged, not having anything else to add.
"Do you remember? Not remembering?" Danny asked.
"I remember feeling disconnected. Like I had come in the middle of the movie and didn't know quite what to do with myself."
"But you recovered those memories?"
"Almost all of them. I don't remember being hurt. I'm told it was because of a hand grenade that exploded too close to my location. But I don't remember it."
"Probably just as well," Danny said.
"Without a doubt. I was deaf in my right ear for a couple of months. I was afraid it was permanent but my hearing finally came back. Not 100% but I'll take it."
"I guess you are lucky you are as whole as you are," Danny said, considering it.
"I am. You've kept me safe since we met."
"You're welcome," Danny said.
"You claim it's a full time job," Steve said with a laugh.
"When did we met?" Danny asked. Steve was glad that there was no pain reflected in the question.
Steve told him about pulling their guns on each other and how Steve decided Danny would be the first member of 5-0.
"You railroaded me?" Danny asked with a laugh. They had migrated to the beach, beers making them mellow and open to laughter.
"Pretty much. You hated me. Then you punched me," Steve told him.
"Punched you," Danny repeated, making Steve tell him the details. They both laughed at that, Danny shaking his head. "No wonder I hated you."
"I deserved it. I was pretty much a hard-ass," Steve admitted. "I've mellowed."
"This is mellowed?" Danny asked, squinting over at him in disbelief.
"Totally. I'm a marshmallow compared to when you first met me."
"I find that a little hard to believe," Danny said, shaking his head.
"Ask Chin and Kono. They'll tell you," Steve assured him.
"I will. Providing you don't kick our asses."
"Never," Steve promised. "We are ohana."
"Family," Danny said, surprising himself.
"Through thick and thin. Good and bad."
"Sickness and health," Danny said, not sure if he was teasing or not.
"Always have been," Steve agreed with a nod.
They talked a while longer about the things they had been through, Danny laughing at some of their stranger adventures, unable to believe some of the things they had done. He listened intently when Steve confessed to being arrested for the former Governor's murder, Danny not doubting for a minute that he had been framed.
"You broke out of prison," Danny repeated, shaking his head.
"Yeah. You were pissed," Steve admitted.
"I would think so," Danny said. "You are something else."
"So you tell me," Steve said smiling. A glance at his watch confirmed that it was late so he reluctantly stood. "I need to get to bed. Some of us have to go to work in the morning."
"I feel bad for you, big guy," Danny said, laughing up at him.
"Yeah. Me too. You going to get back to the house by yourself?"
"I'll be fine. It's nice out here," Danny said.
"All right," Steve agreed. "Good night."
"Good night, Babe," Danny said, surprising them both. If there was a smile on Steve's face as he went up to his house, he wasn't going to deny it.
~o0o~
"McGarrett," Steve said as he answered his phone. He was at his desk, frowning at his computer and wondering why the email he was trying to send was refusing to go through. What was up with that?
"Hey," Danny's familiar voice said. But there was an edge to it, one that put Steve immediately on alert.
"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Steve asked, standing up and making sure he had his keys.
"I'm fine. Stand down, Super SEAL. I'm only calling to tell you that the links are all working," Danny told him.
"Oh," Steve said, knowing there was more that he should add. "I'm on my way home."
"You don't have to do that, Steve. I'm okay."
"I know. But nothing's going on here. I need to see that you are okay," Steve admitted.
"All right," Danny agreed. "I'll see you in a few minutes. And for the love of God, do not exceed the speed limit. No sirens. No lights. Tell me you'll drive safely, Steven."
"I promise," Steve agreed, smiling as he hung up. He told Chin and Kono about the phone call, promising that he would keep them posted. They would have dinner tomorrow night if Danny felt up to it.
Danny was still on the beach when Steve got home. He grabbed two beers before going out to join him.
"Hey," Steve said, handing Danny one of the Longboards.
"Hey," Danny said.
"What happened?"
"Nothing dramatic. I took a nap in the hammock and started dreaming. About you. And Grace. And us. That seems to have opened the flood gates. Once I stopped trying so hard to remember, I did."
"Do you remember everything? Including thinking you were me?"
"Everything," Danny confirmed. "I think I ought to feel embarrassed but I acknowledge I had no control over what happened. I do know that if I hadn't decided I was you, I would not have survived being tossed overboard."
Steve nodded, waiting. Danny had more to say. Steve knew that.
"I was sure you were dead," Danny said quietly. "I hoped you were tied up and unable to come get me. But I was really afraid you didn't come back because they had killed you. And that was something I couldn't handle. I knew I had to survive to find them and kill them to make up for them killing you. I had no idea what to do when I ended up in the water. I did kick off my shoes. That seemed like a huge triumph. But other than that, I had no idea. Until I thought 'what would Steve do?' How would you handle the situation? That's what saved me. You save me," Danny said softly, looking out at the ocean and unable to meet Steve's eyes.
"Danno," Steve said, one warm hand on his arm. "I understand. I understood the entire time. I wanted you back, whole. But it never bothered me that you thought you were me."
"You had Aneurysm face," Danny said with a bitter laugh.
"Only because you were not you. I missed you, Danno. Maybe it's not fair but it's true. I missed your rants. I missed you telling me all the ways I make your life hell. I even missed your constant complaints about all things Hawaii," Steve admitted.
Danny laughed at that, shaking his head. "Can I tell you a secret? One you must swear to never repeat? Because I will kick your ass if you repeat this to anyone."
"What?" Steve asked, leaning closer with a smile on his face.
"I liked the ham and pineapple pizza," Danny whispered. He frowned when Steve took his phone out. "What are you doing? I will kick your ass."
"Calling 9-1-1. You are clearly sicker than I ever thought," Steve said, laughing when Danny snatched his phone out of his hand.
"I will kick your ass," Danny repeated, grinning at Steve.
"Not with one good leg, you won't," Steve reminded him, laughing with Danny. He felt himself relax in his chair. His Danny was back. Life was good.