Another chapter... And it was hard to write, by the way. Enjoy... This chapter may not be as long as the others, so sorry for that.
8:45pm: Sahara Square
The sky was enveloped in stars and darkness as Judy drove through the sandy streets of Sahara Square with a stolen Toyota minivan.
She hadn't wanted to steal a car, since she had sworn an oath to be honest and loyal as a cop, uniform on or no. But after fighting off predators, dragging Nick's unconscious body halfway across Zootopia from the car crash, and walking for what seemed like endless hours through the caliginous tunnels of the subway, exhaustion was an understatement to how she felt. She hadn't even walked one block before that Ungodly humidity had her feet screaming and her knees wobbling. And Nick must've noticed her languorous state, because it was him who suggested stealing a car. She had agreed without second thought.
Judy glanced over at Nick, her eyelids droopy from fatigue. The fox sat in the passenger seat across from her, still and silent, his head turned away from her. Those pine-green eyes lingered on the road outside as she drove and drove, taking occasional turns down numerous streets. They hadn't talked the whole ride, nor had they made eye contact, and she hated it. She hated the sound of silence, deeply. The only time that wall of silence was broken was when Nick had offered to drive, probably, once again, noticing her tired state. But she had kindly refused, saying that she was fine. Nick's only response was a nod. And the silence went on.
Judy couldn't stop thinking about what Nick had said back in the Old Navy. Every word… Every single, passionate word had been true. And when he had confessed his real, actual, feelings to her, when she had heard the sorrow and the agony in his voice, when he had told her she'd been worth all the pain and suffering he'd went through, she had wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him. Kiss him and kiss him and kiss him, until their lungs screamed for air—and then kiss him again. To have this selfless, beautiful fox standing by her side, willing to throw himself in the deepest pits of hell just to save her, to make her happy… She didn't feel worthy of him.
She just wanted to lock her lips with his, and let this rutting world around her—around them—vanish into nothing.
But something, something had stopped her from fulfilling that desire. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was guilt, but it was something. Like a mental shield was blocking her from joining her heart with Nick's, creating an eternal bond with him that would last, even after death.
Mating was the desire that burned within her core, she realized. Mating with Nick, sealing them together as one of the same.
She didn't want to make love to him. Mating…
The word itself sounded powerful, permanent, and could create such a big, big leap in their relationship. The thought had her closing her legs, hiding her lust.
Her violet eyes slid over to Nick, staring at him, admiring him. Admiring the leanness of his body, the richness of his auburn fur—and the heart-warming softness of it...
The desire she held for him lashed out, tearing down that wall of control she'd built around her instincts—her mating instincts.
I want him inside me, she thought—she thought. She wondered how it would feel to have him spread her open with his large bulge, and slowly thrust in and out—
Judy blinked, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. She centered her attention on the road, pushing her blazing lust deep, deep within herself.
Had that been what she really felt for Nick, or were those her horny bunny instincts? Whichever one, she needed to soothe it, before it was noticed.
So Judy shifted in her seat, taking in a breath, and then exhaled.
In the reflection of the window that Nick stared out of, Judy could've sworn she saw his nose twitch.
"How long until we reach the Palm Hotel, Carrots," Nick asked, his head slightly turn toward her.
Her violet eyes stayed locked on the road ahead. "Just a few more minutes, the parking lot may be filled with security though." She'd added that last part on purpose.
She glanced at him, searching for a reaction, waiting for him to give her a worried or concern or determined look. But… Nothing. Nothing at all—an empty, dry well stranded in the middle of a blazing desert.
Her dull, gray claws bit into the leathery texture of the steering wheel. Play with me. Tease me. Call me cute or poke my nose. Do something! Just don't abandon me to this void of silence. She wanted to say those chain of words badly, scream it to his face. But…
Even his expression was blank and cold as he nodded. His only reply.
Judy's lips thinned, and her violet eyes left the road for a single second.
"Why have you been so silent lately?" The words had slipped out before she could stop them.
He rested his head back on the headrest, pine-green eyes lingering on the dark, empty road illuminated by dim street-lights lined on each side of the street. Then said, "I'm just thinking."
"About what," she pushed.
She could've sworn she saw a flash of pearl white teeth in the dim light. "Getting into the hotel safely, that's all."
With his dead silence and expressionless gaze… "You're lying."
His head snapped in her direction, a glimmer of emotion flashed within those eyes. "I'm not lying," he protested.
"You aren't?" She shot him a look. "Then why are you acting so… So dead?"
Nick sighed, annoyed. "It's nothing, Fluff—even if I were to tell you, it doesn't have any importance."
Her expression softened. "Nick, you've been as silent as a corpse for this whole car ride. Whatever you're thinking about must be important." She went on. "Besides, we're friends, aren't we? Your problems are my problems."
His sea-green eyes met her violet, and she smiled warmly, assuring him.
The foxes gaze fell down to his lap, and then, slowly, shifted back to her. "Okay," he sighed, stroking the back of his head with a dark auburn paw. "I'll tell you."
He stirred in his leathery seat, a hiss of pain slipping through his teeth. He was probably trying to cope with the pain of sitting on his fractured tail.
A shard of sympathy poked at her heart, but she listened to what Nick had to say. "I'm just worried… About your family, your parents." A scowl creeped on his muzzle, and those knife-like teeth became visible. Sometimes she wondered if he ever plunged those teeth into another mammal's flesh out of self-defense or anger—and savored the taste. "What if that bastard sheep goes after your family to break you, so you'll no longer rebel against her?"
She actually found herself dreading the possibility. What if he was right? Maybe—perhaps Bellwether could do such a thing, but… "I doubt she would, or could, target my family."
Nick gave her a look.
So Judy explained, "My Mom and Dad hold one of the biggest farming businesses in Zootopia. Trust me, if anything happened to them, word would spread like wildfire, and it would only be a matter of time before mammals start suspecting Bellwether. And she knows that." She made a turn down a different street, lined up with parked cars and traffic-lights and stores.
Her violet eyes lingered on him for a moment. "And I think it's really sweet that you'd care for me and my family, Nick. But, with the predator discrimination worsening, shouldn't you be thinking about your own pare—"
"My parents are dead." Something icy and filled with hatred coated his tone.
Judy's ears fell flat against her head. "Nick, I didn't—"
"No it's okay," he said, blinking again and again, his lips trembling. "You didn't know. I can't blame you for it." The grumbling of the car engine was the only sound that danced between them.
And then, when Judy thought he was done talking, "I know what it feels like to lose a loved one, I know what it feels like to have that rage, the restless grudge that has you clawing the sheets of your bed at the darkest hours of the night… I know what it feels like to be alone." His sea-green eyes slowly, so slowly shifted to her, lingering. "And I don't want you to feel that same pain."
Judy didn't say anything… No… She couldn't say anything. She had felt the pain of guilt and agony and shame, but she had never felt loss, not like Nick had. His parents, both of them, were dead. And based on the glossiness of his eyes, and the quivery frown on his lips, tragedy had struck his heart deep, leaving an eternal, gaping wound in his spirit.
There was silence between them, such painful, lingering silence. Silence that let the agony of her friend's word seep into her sobbing, broken heart.
Her eyes burned, her vision turning blurry. If she were to ever lose her parents, her family…
"When my Mom and Dad first got married," Nick began, his voice filled with dread, "they never planned to have any children, both of them despised the responsibility of having one." A pause. "They had lived so happily together, just the two of them, rich or poor, it didn't matter. And the endless photos they had taken, each one more passionate and intimate than the last… They were truly in love."
"But one day, that one, rutting day, it all ended."
Judy's paw tightened around the steering wheel, and her nose twitched.
"They both had jobs, and both would bring money into the home. My Dad would go out every day and work as an engineer, while my Mom stood home and wrote books and books about mystical lands and magic and adventure. My Mom… My Mom was rapped, Judy, and her eye, her beautiful, midnight eye, was ripped from its socket." Nick sobbed—sobbed. "It broke her." His voice cracked. "And it enraged my… My father. So much so that he went after the bastard who'd done it, but he never came back—and his body was never found. And after my father's death, my Mom was deemed pregnant. She didn't have the stomach to do an abortion—she didn't want to kill her baby, despite it not having one gene from its dead father."
Judy wasn't sure if she was breathing.
"My Mom had tried to raise me as best as she could, even though I resembled that bastard so, so much—even if the mere sight of me had fear and agony flash in her mid-night eye. It had always been fear; not one ounce in my entire life had she given me a true smile—it was as if deep down inside her heart, her soul, her mind, she wanted to kill me."
She had never realized—she never could've realized, never could've guessed...
"And maybe that was the case. Maybe she had wanted to kill me, but couldn't bring herself to, because when I was fifteen years old, I found her lying on the living-room floor in a pool of her own blood, dead. She'd put a knife through her own throat—she… she committed suicide and left me behind." Nick placed his forearm on the dashboard, his head hanging low. "I was so alone, and I had nowhere to go, nobody to trust or love."
Sometimes she'd wondered who was more miserable, who hated living more, who questioned their own existence—and the existence of this damned world.
And from the corner of her 180° vision, she saw Nick gaze down at his paws, his trembling paws. "I'm the reason why my Mother put a knife through her throat, I'm the reason why her life was so miserable." His lips quivered once again as he choked on a sob, a tear running down his cheek. "I resemble a monster who violated and destroyed my Mom, who tore my parent's love apart." He stared and stared at his paws, as if he could see the blood, the DNA of his mother's rapist surging through his veins. Then, the next second, his sharp, deadly claws were gleaming in the dim, orange light of the street-lights. "I'm just a mistake," he mused, staring out to the street ahead.
She'd treated him so horribly. She broke him and abandoned him, leaving him alone. Alone—like he'd been most of his life, wearing a mask to hide his tragic past clawing at his soul.
"I'm just a mistake." He repeated, his voice cracking. "I'm just a mistake."
Judy couldn't say anything, she didn't want to say anything. She wanted to show him that there was someone out there in that miserable world that still loved him, that there was someone who would truly smile at the sight of him, no matter who he resembled. She wanted to show him that he wasn't alone, she wanted him to feel it, the passion, the joy, and the love. There are times when touch has more effect than words, her mother had once said to her, when she, herself, was knelt over, sobbing into her knees, because Gideon Grey had gotten a whole group of mammals to tease her and abuse for her ridiculous dream: to become a cop. But it still paled in comparison as to what Nick had to go through as a kid—as a fox.
Nick… she loved him so much, and yet, not once had she ever thought about her and Nick being a family, with their kids standing between them, strengthening their love. But after hearing his story of love and anger and agony and death, maybe showing her love for him… maybe having a family with him, would heal the gaping wound in his chest.
She managed a few seconds of lucidity to turn the minivan down a different road, Main Street.
Judy's gaze traveled to Nick, who stared out to the road ahead, claws still unsheathed.
She opened her mouth to say something, to do something, but she was cut off.
Dazzling lights mixed in the colors of blue and red danced in their vision.
Judy slowly drove up to the line of police cars and policemen flanked by the archway entrance to the Palm Hotel's parking lot, armed to the teeth. Her eyes squinted at the blinding lights of the police cars, but she could still make out the dread-stricken expression of the policemen, standing a healthy distance from their vehicles.
She didn't recognized any of them. They must be from the Sahara Police station, she guessed. But still… each one of them were prey.
A grunt of pain from the back of the mini-van had Judy's erect ear twitching. She titled her head in Nick's direction slightly. "Nick," she called, careful with the volume of her voice, although she didn't know why. "You okay?"
She heard shuffle from the back of the car, and then, "I'm fine." Hoarse—his voice sounded so hoarse, it made her heart ache. Another grunt of pain. "I'm fine," he repeated, "it's just..." She knew what he meant. His fractured and, maybe, broken tail—broken like his heart… Like his family.
"It'll be quick, Nick, I promise." She said
Silence was his only reply.
She frowned, driving closer to the chain of police cars. It was a mercy that there hadn't been a lengthy line of cars in front of them, and it made sense, too. Most of the prey in Zootopia were probably huddling within their houses, scared shitless of the riot raging down in City Central. She hoped the riot had simmered down by now, she hoped some prey doctors had survived the massacre. An image of Bellwether flashed within her mind, and she clenched her teeth. And she hoped that sheep had been mangled, along with her damned rhino.
A rhino officer stationed in front of the archway held up a giant hoof, his belt armed with a pistol. Judy slowed the car to a stop, calming the wind of emotion swirling inside her.
Soul-breaking—it was soul-breaking to think of Nick's past, his family; his life. And to think about what she, herself, had put him through… Judy took in a quivering breath, squaring her shoulders. Don't think about now, Judy, those voices whispered, caring, loving. The pain of her broken heart numbed, only slightly, enough for her not to break down and shatter a window or scream until her throat went raw. She kept herself strong.
The rhino was already standing beside the mini-van as she pulled down the window. And as soon as the rhino's golden eyes met hers, she saw skepticism in his expression.
"Officer Hopps?" The rhino said with a cocked head and a raised brow. "I thought you were still in the ho—" He stopped mid-sentence, and his eyes left hers for a moment.
He must've heard about what happened at the hospital. The news of the riot must've spread quickly, then. This could go bad—the rhino asking to search through the car being one of the worst possibilities.
Judy said, "The doctors let me out before it started." It was the half truth. She was supposed to leave around 1:00, an hour before the hospital was bombed.
The rhino looked up at her. "Then, why did you come to the Palm Hotel, alone." There was suspicion in his yellow eyes.
Willpower had her expression remain neutral. "Chief Bogo sent me here," she clarified, "he said it wouldn't be safe for me to stay in City Central, and I didn't want to return to my home, which is outside of Zootopia, so…"
"I see." The rhino said, giving her a hard stare. He was hesitating, confused as what to do.
Judy's sensitive, erected ears twitched at the grunt that came from the trunk of the minivan—Nick… His tail. She prayed—prayed—that the rhino hadn't heard it.
The rhino looked back at his fellow officers, all of whom had their statures' perked, listening in. At the rhino's look, they shrugged or shook their heads, all of them just as confused as he was.
The rhino looked back to Judy. "Have a goodnight's rest, Miss Hopps," he said, gesturing a paw for her to go.
She nodded, giving the rhino a grateful smile, and slowly drove the car forward.
Judy slowly pulled the van into an parking space located far from the canopy, golden-lit entrance of the Palm Hotel. The parking lot was mostly empty, with a few expensive cars parked far distances apart, probably all owned by prey. No surprise.
She put the car into park with a jerk of the gear-shift, and the vehicle lurched slightly, the engine falling into a deep sleep. Judy turned her head toward the back of the car, where Nick still hid, silent as a ghost. But before she could inform him that it was clear, he was already climbing into the passenger seat, pressing his fractured tail against his back as he sat down. A hiss a pain slipped through his black, slim lips, his sharp teeth clenched and shimmering in the soft, golden light pouring in through the back window of the van.
There were tears stains on the auburn fur of his cheek, more than there had been after he'd told his story of agony and loss. And his eyes, those eyes that would always gleam with mischief and joy, were bloodshot—and strained. It made something within her chest crack and scream.
Her ears twitched in his direction as he spoke. "We don't have to get a room, you know," he said blandly. Those eyes flicked in her direction, lingering. She knew what he meant, the droopiness and the redness of her own eyes, the sluggishness of her movement… he wasn't blind to any of it.
Judy looked at his fractured tail, which was pressed against his spine, golden light creepy through the long, soft strands of fur enveloping his tail.
He wasn't suggesting sleeping in the minivan out of his own tiredness, she realized, it was for her. He was willing to sleep on his broken tail for her. So she could rest.
Judy's lips thinned.
"It's okay, Nick," she assured, meeting his empty gaze, holding back the tears clawing at her eyes. "I'll be fine—let's just get this over with, okay?" The dark space within the van was illuminated by a car passing by. Nick's pine-green eyes glinted in the light, reflecting sorrow within them. Her nose twitched—only once, though. "Besides, there's a chance security might not be as tight as we expected it to be, since there aren't many mammals staying here, which means you should be able to sneak through the Palm Hotel easily, am I right, my sly fox?"
Nick didn't smile. "Perhaps."
She forced herself to continue smiling, to stay optimistic in hopes that the wound within his heart would heal. "Okay, then." She grabbed the door handle. "I'll go and buy our room." She opened the car door with a pull of the handle, and her violet eyes flicked back to him. "You're coming with me."
His ears perked up at that. "I thought you said I'd be sneaking in through the janitor's room?"
There was a hint of emotion in his tone, it wasn't happiness, but… at least it was something.
Judy answered, "change of plans, then." Nick cocked his head at her. "There aren't too many cars here right? And since there are police cars practically surrounding this place, security shouldn't be too tight on the inside."
His eyebrows arched as he contemplated on her theory. He looked to the canopy entrance of the casino, through the spinning glass doors and into the building. Judy followed his gaze.
Inside, there were only few mammals scattered around on the red marble floor. But Judy took note of the security guard, leaning on the golden-tiled wall, flanked by two elevators. A tiger-security guard, to her surprise. She glanced back at Nick, who's eyes had widened slightly. Seems he had found it just as perplexing as she had.
"We should be able to pass through into the elevators without any trouble." She remarked, breaking Nick's lingering stare.
"That's if that tiger guard doesn't use his pistol on me first," he said, gesturing his head toward the security guard's belt.
She looked into the casino, her violet eyes immediately falling on the pistol holstered on the guard's belt, and her face scrunched into a barely-noticeable grimace. Damn it. After what happened at the hospital—and, what hopefully has ended by now—that security guard might put a bullet through Nick's head first. The thought of Nick dying had a shard of fear slicing at her heart. She calmed herself.
I'm just a mistake. She banished the thought before it seeped too deep into her.
"That guard's a predator, he could possibly let you through. Like you said before, ' from one predator to another'", Judy suggested.
Nick shook his head. "Very few predators have jobs right now, Carrots." He stated. "That tiger could lose his if he were to let me through, so the possibilities of me getting into that elevator is almost slim to none." It was a fact, not an opinion.
Judy lips curled into a frustrated frown. She was tired, so unbearably tired… But she wasn't going to let him feel anymore pain, not after what he'd told her in the subway and the car ride, not after the physical agony he'd suffered in the hospital. So she made up a plan silently in her head.
She stared and stared down at her paws, at the soft, black fabric of her zipper-top's sleeves running along her forearm.
Her head slowly turned toward Nick, who's eyes stayed focused on the casino entrance.
Judy said, doubtfully, "I've got a plan Nick, although it may be too simple to work."
He turned towards her, his ear sharp, listening. He didn't say a word. So she explained.
Nick lightly pushed on the spinning door entrance leading into the casino, Judy pushing with him, both their paws on the crystal clear glass.
And as soon as Nick stepped one paw onto the red marble floor, he gawked.
Red and golden marble shimmered in his vision, and the bar to the far left of the lobby had his throat going dry.
The oak-wood shelves, filled with hand-crafted cups and beers and drinks with name-brands he'd never thought existed, had him wondering how much could he drink before he passed out. And the leather chairs set right in front of the bar, each one looking as if they were bought right off the stage, and were gleaming in the beautiful light illuminating the hotel.
And the lobby, the lobby they walked through, rose-red furniture and glass-filled tables and foreign lamps scattered throughout the open area in almost perfect neatness, everything set in the right place, it had Nick's eyes wide. And for the first time in hours, he smiled; he could feel the excitement and the happiness shouting within him.
He peeked at Judy, walking beside him, from the corner of his vision, and he felt something within his chest purr at the sight of her cheery smile.
She was smiling, because of his smile. Sometimes he felt he didn't deserve her, for everything she'd done for him, everything she'd sacrificed for him…
But Nick's smile faltered when his attention turned to the tiger-security guard, still leaning on the wall, and his hazel eyes locked on him, watching his every movement, glaring, contemplating.
He swallowed a lump in his throat as him and Judy neared the oak-wood desk, worked by an female gazelle.
And even with the soft brown fur coating the gazelles skin, he could still see the paleness of the prey's face as him and Judy neared.
He reminded himself of Judy's plan, her voice a whisper in the front of his mind. Just stay quiet, and let me do the talking, she had said. Then added, if they see a predator with me, as a friend, they may let you through, hopefully.
They grew closer and closer to the oak-wood desk, and Nick calmed himself, letting his paws hang limp at his sides, dropping his smile and drained his pine-green eyes of any emotion.
Judy put her paws on the desk, standing on her tippy-toes to make eye contact with the gazelle, who's blue eyes remained locked on Nick.
Nick stared back at the gazelle with dead eyes, who's pupils shrank upon making eye contact with him. Nick ignored the fear swirling within the gazelles cold, blue eyes and let his gaze drift down to Judy, who gave him a quick look, filled with concern. Don't worry—I've got this, her expression seemed to say.
He gave her a barely-noticeable nod, then redirected his gaze back to the gazelle.
The gazelle said, a slight quivering in her voice, "good evening, Officer Hopps." Those blue eyes once again snapped to him, then to the security who had hoisted himself off the wall, and back down to Judy. "What may I do for you tonight?" Her hooves were nowhere in sight on the desk, Nick noticed. Instead, they were placed near her waist, probably clutching a concealed weapon.
Nick tensed, but his expression and body remained neutral, unreadable.
Judy, who was still hoisting her head over the desk by her paws and tippy-toes, gave the fear-stricken gazelle an innocent smile that always seemed to brighten the mood—especially his. "Yes, there is, ma'am." She said. "Could I purchase a room near the top floor."
His predatory eyes, build to hunt and see clearly in the darkest hours of the night, caught the Gazelle's throat bobbing, her eyes darting from him to Judy, confused. "S-separate rooms?" She asked, turning to an apple computer to the right of her on the desk.
He looked down at Judy, who's expression remained pleasant, even at the gazelle's question.
"No, ma'am, just one room, please." She said, and her violet eyes flicked down to the gazelle's waist, searching, he realized. Seems she had caught the concealed weapon, too. Smart bunny.
At Judy's response, the gazelle had turned into a quivering mess, her eyes constantly darting and her throat flexing, and it only worsened the longer her eyes lingered on him.
Nick, honestly, wondered if the gazelle was wetting herself or no.
"Y-you sure you don't want a separate rooms, Miss Hopps?"
He expected her to scowl at the gazelle, to say something harsh and cruel, but… "I'm sure, ma'am, just one." Sweet—Judy's voice sounded so sweet and innocent, it made his skin crawl with ecstasy—and lust. Sly bunny.
The gazelle nodded, her throat, once again, bobbing, once—twice; her trembling hoofs danced across the keyboard as she typed information into the computer.
Nick almost clicked his tongue at the fear, the shakiness the gazelles didn't even try to hide. All these prey… He was surprised that the security guard stalking toward them hadn't shot him dead—yet.
Seconds passed, and the gazelle turned her attention back down to Judy, her hooves staying a healthy distance from her waist.
She then lightly slapped a key-card on the black marble desktop, smiling while saying, "your room is on the 50th floor, Miss Hopps." Fake—the gazelle's smile was so rutting fake. "Thank you." She added.
Judy took the key card in her paws, slipping it into her jean pocket. "Oh no, Thank you," she said, grateful, that loving smile still plastered on her beautiful face.
He had to push back the urge to run his paw down her soft, silky-like ears. Instead, Nick spun on his heels and walked toward the elevator, keeping his line of vision away from the tiger security guard's glaring eyes, who had his orange and black striped paws near his belt.
Nick silently scoffed, ambling with his auburn paws tucked in the pockets of his hoodie.
Suddenly, "before you leave, Miss Hopps," Nick's ears perked up, and he looked back at the gazelle through the corner of his eye, "I have to inform that there has been a new rule added to this hotel."
Judy had just started trailing behind Nick when she turned back to the gazelle.
And She gasped. And Nick's pupils shrank to grains of sand, his legs going numb beneath.
Hanging from gazelle's hoof, was a metal collar, equipped with a small box, glowing with a green light.
A tame collar. The word clang through him like a reverberation, each echo more haunting than the last.
Only prisoners, prey or predator, were authorized to wear those. And Nick was so deeply terrified of them, the tame collars. The very device had haunted him as a kid, countless times, gave him nightmares.
Caging emotions—that was what those collars were made for. Too much happiness, too much rage, too much of anything, and he would fall down to the floor with electricity surging through his veins. It scared him, it scared him so, so deeply.
Nick stared and stared at the device, the damn device.
The gazelle's voice echoed through the lobby as if they were in a cave—a prison cell. "All predators that stay in this hotel must were a tame collar. That's what the rules state, I'm afraid." He saw Judy's paws hang limp at her sides and her shoulders go rigid.
A small part of him was glad that Judy had her back to him. He could only imagine what her expression had shifted into, what emotion roared within those violet eyes.
He suddenly felt his heart raging against his chest, and he could've sworn that he saw a grin crack on the gazelle's lips. For only a second, then vanish.
The gazelle then said, "I'm going to need you to put this on his neck, Miss Hopps, if you don't mind." Punishment—this was like a punishment, for what he'd done to her. A punishment for what she'd done to this city, to the predators living within it.
"Yeah, no problem." She said, her tone cleaned of any agony, as if she didn't feel the pain he felt—sorrow and shame and guilt.
The terror within him began to manifest as Judy sauntered to the desk, taking the tame collar in her paws.
Nick's breathing became ragged, as if he had screamed until his vocal cords had snapped.
His pine-green eyes met the gazelle's cold blue, and he froze. The look she gave him, filled with malice and hatred… now it's your turn to experience fear, predator. The words floated so smoothly into his mind, as if for that single second, he had read the gazelle's every, scornful thought.
There was a flash of violet in his line of vision, and he saw Judy's face, her agony-stricken face, as she slowly walked toward him, the tame collar grasped in her paws.
He almost took a step back, almost unsheathed his claws—
He reminded himself that Judy was his friend; he reminded himself why he was doing this. Those ancient whispers within him roared and lashed at his mind, but he remained still—so, very still.
Suddenly, for a second, he wasn't in the hotel, but in the ranger scouts building; suddenly he felt tears flowing down his cheeks, staining his fur; suddenly he felt paws pin him to the stone floor; suddenly a muzzle was placed on his snout, locked into place. There was laughter and mocking and more and more tears—tears that refused to stop flowing. Suddenly he felt his heartbreak and his dreams shatter; suddenly he felt something warm and smooth on his paw, and he glanced down, only to see that his claws were covered in blood—
Judy stood in front of him, the collar still in her paws. And those eyes… Those beautiful eyes…
"We don't have to stay here," her voice was barely a whisper—so broken, so hurt. "We can go."
They could leave, find somewhere else to stay, but… The redness of her eyes, the black lines so visible under them, beneath her gray fur… She needed to rest, more than him.
So Nick got on one knee, and lifted his chin, exposing his bruised neck. A silent answer.
He shivered as the coldness of the metal met his fur, and the bare skin beneath. He reminded himself, over and over and over, that this was temporary, that in doing this, he was helping her. But as Judy's arms, along with the collar, enveloped his neck, as the cold, unyielding metal pressed harder and harder into his fur, he felt emotions of so many kinds roar inside him, almost overwhelming him. It was torture.
The next moment, the collar was locked onto his neck, and the clicking sound that came with it, echoing through the immense lobby, would haunt his dream for eternity.
The tiger-security guard let them through and into the elevator without a second glance.
And during the whole elevator ride to the top floor, Nick couldn't find the words to assure Judy, to let her know that he was okay, that he could cope—even though he knew that he was on the verge of breaking down, and giving up.
They were both silent, as if the collar on his neck had numbed their tongues.
Nick pulled at the collar fastened on his neck as him and Judy stalked down the hallway lined with oak-wood doors on both sides. The hallway was no different from the lobby, no surprise, red and gold sketched into diamonds on the soft, cold carpet-flooring. And the marble walls, stained in a soft color of red, gleamed in the gentle lights shimmering from the roof.
"120, 121, 122, 123." He listened to Judy as she counted every door they passed, to at least distract his mind from the nagging feeling of the collar brushing against his fur.
And maybe she was whispering out the numbers intentionally, to divert her mind from what she'd seen, what she'd done, just a few minutes back.
He'd heard her sob once on the elevator, sobs then go noiseless. And he ignored it, and he hated himself for doing it—shunning her. But with own emotions running rapid and wailing at his mind… he really didn't know how he could comfort her. It angered and saddened him, but he let the thought drown in the back of his mind.
"We're here, Nick," Judy said, pointing toward an oak-wood door with a golden plate nailed to it, with black numbers imprinted on it that read 130.
His gaze flicked to the door, his ears sharp, scanning it.
With one swipe of the key-card and a turn of the golden-coated knob, Judy opened the door with a click and a creek. He flicked on the light and ambled into the room.
Nick's mouth went agape at the chocolate wooden floors tiled in a perfect pattern, so polished and cleaned that he could see every movement of his reflection.
He made his way deeper and deeper into the room, his eyes feasting upon the moon-white bed and the nightstands flanking it with a twin set of lanterns, handcrafted with beautiful designs.
His gaze turned to the white door, which lead into the bathroom. It only took one turn of his paw on the golden knob before the door slowly opened with ghostly silence.
A clawed-toed bath tub, white marble tiled floors stained with little flecks of a soft hue of brown, and twin sinks with a marble counter just as white as the floor… The bathroom itself was as if it were made for a king—a God. The entire room was a representation of beauty.
Nick turned back to the room, to the prepossessing room so carefully crafted. Judy came beside him, those beautiful eyes darting from one form of beauty to the next. "Wow." She gasped. "I always knew the Palm Hotel would alluring from the inside, but this…" It was a blessing from God Himself that they had so much cash in their pockets.
And then he felt the coolness of metal. And the tightness of it around his neck, and he was reminded of what had happened, what he was, in the eyes of prey. The room seemed to turn dull and gray the longer he stared and stared at it, the longer he felt cold metal on his fur.
He no longer esteemed the room.
He ran his fingers across the collar, shuddering as he did, and something inside him cracked and screamed and begged to be set free. His claws suddenly felt sharp on his fingertips, and he clenched his jaw.
He let the thoughts of himself, of this city, of the citizens, of her, fade into dust and fall and fall and fall, until his entire being felt empty, until he felt alone…
Nick suddenly found himself strolling toward the floor-to-roof window at the very back of the room. He stood in front of it, staring out into the view of Sahara Square, staring at the reflection of himself in the window, his eyes glazed.
He looked down at the tame collar in his reflection, still glowing bright green, still digging into his fur. His throat bobbed.
And Judy, once again, came beside him. She must've noticed his pained expression, because she said, "I'm sorry."
His eyes flicked to her reflection in the window; agony, sorrow, guilt, and hatred—it was all he saw in her. And it hurt to see it… it had him snapping his gaze away from her and back to the rest of Sahara Square, lit by the many speckles of light glinting from below.
But something else caught his eye, and he let his gaze travel deeper into Zootopia, into City Central… Fire and smoke and a bombed, blazing hospital.
The riot hadn't stopped, and was still raging on.
He almost clawed the glass before him out of frustration.
"Nick, I'm so sorry." His ears perked up at the sob, and he looked at Judy through the reflection, who was facing him, tears running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She said again.
"I'm sorry about what you had to go through, all your life, and what I'm putting you through now." So much pain—she had put him through so much pain. He waited for the anger, anger that would be directed at her because of her ignorance to the wolrd, but… There was nothing.
"Mother told me that story," he began,"… Of how I was born and my Father's fate." He remembered that day so clearly, so, so clearly, like the glass he was staring out of now—his Mother telling him how he was born with tears staining her auburn cheeks and sobs choking her throat. "I was ten back then, too young to fully understand the trueness of my parent's tragedy. But I think my Mom had told me that story, when I was that young, with a motive, because the day after, she killed herself." Something within him mauled at his heart, and set his anger free. "She left me all alone, she killed herself, not once considering how my life may turn out…" He bared his teeth, rage seeping through his veins.
Then, his eyes slid over to Judy, who stood there with immortal stillness, her eyes lingering on him. And at the mere sight of her, of her gentle expression, his anger drifted away like leaves sighing in the wind. He took in a breath, then exhaled. It's in the past now, he told himself… For the past fifteen years, he had told himself that, over and over and over every time his Mother's story lurked in his dreams and waking hours. It's in the past now.
"I'm going to get cleaned up," were his final words before he strolled away without another word. He needed to be alone… He needed to think about something—anything.
Judy swirled around, taking a few steps toward him. "Nick…" Her voice cracked, his name sounding so broken on her lips.
But Nick had already disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
Minutes past, and Nick came out the bathroom with steam in his wake, wearing a black muscle shirt and blue jeans, his auburn fur glistened with droplets of water. Judy walked past him and into the bathroom, locking the bathroom door behind her without saying a word to him or herself.
So, I've done some research on a foxes lifespan, and it is said that a fox can live up to 10 to 13 years of age. And I've been wondering if animal lifespans' apply to the animals in the Zootopia universe. If so, how old do you think Judy is as a bunny, and Nick is as a fox. Leave a answer in the review, if you feel like it.
See you in the next chapter. Peace.