Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Enjoy, my lovely angels.
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All mistakes are my own
Hotch stood outside of Reid's room. He had faced down dangerous murders and managed to negotiate the release of hostages before but he felt nervous going into Reid's room and talking to him. He had no idea what Reid's reaction would be if he walked into that room. The last time he had spoken to Reid properly, he'd been screamed at to leave and to never come back. "The door won't by itself, Agent."
He turned around to see Dr Lockhart behind him.
"I just don't want to have him scream at me again. It hurt before to hear him yelling at me like that."
"He has gone through a tremendous amount in a short amount of time. When you spoke to him before he was just beginning to process what had happened to him. He was in shock at losing his leg and had not adjusted to his new surrounding. Only going into that room will fix things. You don't want to spend the rest of your life not seeing or talking to him. He needs your support as much as you need his."
"Are you sure you aren't a therapist?" he smiled at her.
She smiled back at him. "Not enough action, Agent Hotchner. I like the excitement I get from being on the ward and saving people. Go in and talk to him. Don't make me push you into that room."
"I'm going," he nodded. He took a deep breath and walked into the room to find Garcia playing cards with Reid. Hotch watched as Reid saw him. Garcia put down her cards.
"Do you want me to stay?" she asked Reid. "I think you two should speak alone."
Reid sighed. "Can you get me some jello? Morgan came in and took mine."
"He did, did he?" Garcia shook her head. "I'm going to steal his then. I swear, he eats anymore jello, I'll walk in one day and just see this block of green jello instead of my chocolate adonis. I'll be back soon, sweetie. With two pots of jello."
"Thanks, Garcia."
Garcia stopped next to Hotch. "Just be gentle and calm."
She walked past him and out of the door. Hotch took a seat next to the bed. An awkward silence filled the air for a minute before Hotch brought up the courage to speak. "How are you feeling?"
"Hard to say," Reid said quietly.
"Reid, I never wanted this to become an option for you but it was the only way that we could save you. I also want you to understand why you're on the pain medication. Without it, you'd be in a lot of pain and your heart can't take the stress of that. I was with you in the ambulance and when you woke up, you were crying and you were in a lot of pain. I can't watch you in pain after all you have gone through. They brutally tortured you and almost burned you to death. You've been through enough pain, I just want to give you a break from it. As for your leg, it's a small price to pay for having you here with us. The infection was serious and the leg wasn't able to be saved. There are many options for you still."
Reid looked at Hotch before brushing a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier."
"You don't have to apologise."
"It's just, I'm struggling to understand why this is happening. I came to Salem to help catch murderers and I became a victim. I was so scared in that building. David forced me to talk about Tobias and yelled at me when I didn't want to. Strung me up like an animal and carved into me. They burned my leg and I don't have it anymore. I look down and I think it is still there and it's only numb. That isn't the case though. It's gone and I can't ever get it back. They took a piece of me!"
Hotch remained silent and let Reid vent out everything he was keeping inside.
"I'm a good person," he sniffed. "I'm not evil but they never listened. They just yelled and hit me. Being tied to that pyre was the most frightening moment in my life. I felt the heat and I felt the fire as it burned my leg. I didn't want to die like that."
"You didn't," Hotch said before moving on to the edge of the bed. "We got you back."
"Not in time," Reid shook his head before his breathing hitched. He wiped his eyes as tears burned them.
"I'm sorry we didn't get to you before they put you on that pyre. We came for you as fast as we could. The air unit was down and I doubt it would have helped. They would've killed you the moment they heard the chopper. We came through the forest as quickly as we could. The most important thing is that you are alive. You're alive and we didn't lose you. You can fight and be yourself again."
"I don't want to fight!" Reid shouted before shaking his head and letting out a sob. "I am sick of fighting for nothing."
"You don't fight for nothing," Hotch argued gently.
"I fought after Tobias and then I had so much crap after that. I thought things were finally getting better when I met Maeve. I lost her to some psychotic bitch and yet, I still fought and got my life back to some sense of normalcy. This happens and I just can't do it again. I don't want to fight for a normal life again! I just want to have some peace. I've done nothing wrong but I keep getting punished."
"Reid, the fact you have fought back so many times shows your strength. There is no truly understanding the world."
"I understand the world," Reid snorted. "It hates me and wants to get rid of me. Well, I invite it to come and get me again. Maybe, it'll finish the job it has failed to carry out all this time."
"Don't talk like that," Hotch shook his head.
"None of you understand," he sighed heavily. "I don't want to fight. It's never worth it."
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