Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Her characters are just being borrowed for the purposes of this fic, which is not being used to gain profit or anything like that. However, I created this version of Ryoga's mom and dad, and the lawyer guy and stuff, so…touch them and die (no really, I don't care. And no one else probably does either, so it's all sunshine and lollipops).
Chapter 13
~ Perseverance ~
I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up and brought up the past
Once you know, you can never go back
I gotta take it on the otherside
Centuries are what it meant to me
A cemetery where I marry the sea
Stranger things would never change my mind
I gotta take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on
How long, how long will I slide?
Separate my side
I don't
I don't believe it's bad
Slit my throat it's all I ever…
~Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Otherside"
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone
To push you away
There's always another
Wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say…
~Vertical Horizon, "Everything You Want"
A soaking wet Ranma shook herself with annoyance as she headed towards the house, followed by an even wetter panda bear. Before entering, the panda also shook himself, sending a spray of water all over the redheaded girl.
"Pop, watch it! You stupid old man, I'm wet enough as it is!" Ranma shouted. She turned to boot away Happosai before he could latch onto her and accepted the steaming kettle offered by Akane. Ranma dumped some of it on herself and handed it to his father, then slogged up the stairs to change his clothes.
This'll be the third set of clothes today, Ranma thought. And it's only eight-thirty. You'd think Pop would at least have some consideration for Kasumi and quit throwin' me in the stupid pond all the time.
Not that Kasumi ever complained about doing the laundry. Ranma shrugged into a dry shirt and wringed some water from his pigtail. Then he dug through his clothes in search of dry pants.
After five minutes of finding none, Ranma charged down the stairs, clad only in his shirt and boxers, planning on wearing the same pair he had yesterday. He tugged them out of the hamper and had begun to pull them on when he heard something clatter to the floor.
That was too big to be spare change, he noted as he tied his belt. He looked behind him to find out what fell and saw Ryoga's knife lying on the floor. Ranma bent down to pick it up.
…losing him…
Ranma shook his head and pushed the knife back in his pocket. He ran to find his shoes, then darted out the door. He was nearly to the gate when he heard Akane shout his name.
"Ranma! Hey, where are you going?"
The pigtailed boy screeched to a halt and turned around. "I'm goin' back to the hospital."
Akane reached his side. "You're going back again?"
Ranma frowned at her. "Jeez, Akane. If you were in the hospital, wouldn't you want people to come and visit you?"
Akane glared at him. "That's not what I meant. Isn't it kind of early? It's not even nine o' clock. Will they even let you see him?"
Ranma shrugged. "You can visit anytime from eight in the morning to eight at night."
"But Ryoga might not even be awake!"
"Yeah he will. You know Akane, it ain't like you to pass up a chance for me to not be here. You startin' to like me or somethin'?"
"Don't be ridiculous!"
"Ok, see ya," he said.
Akane grabbed his hand before he could go. "Wait! Um…let me come with you."
Ranma blinked in surprise. Then he shook his head. "Not right now. Maybe later today, alright?"
"Why not?" Akane asked, feeling stung.
"Because I…just wait a little longer, Ok? He ain't goin' anywhere." Ranma pulled away and darted down the street.
"Dummy," Akane muttered as she watched him go.
Ryoga finished tying the yellow ribbon around the leg of his black pants. He checked the clock quickly, and saw it was nearly nine. He slipped on his extra pair of shoes from his pack, then went to the door and peered down the hall. The shift change would be occurring for the next few minutes as the night staff left and the day staff came in. Just as he'd hoped for, the corridor was empty. Ryoga hurriedly returned to his pack and pulled out his hunting knife. Lucky for him, Ranma hadn't gone through the pack again, or he probably would've removed it. Ryoga shoved the sheathed weapon into his pocket, then went to the door again. Glancing down the hall once more, he started to step out…
And crashed straight into Ranma.
Ryoga gasped and stumbled back as Ranma reached out to steady him. He pulled away, a mixture of dismay, fear, and anger in his eyes.
Ranma didn't look surprised at all. Instead, he gazed at the Lost Boy steadily, his blue eyes cool. "Where d'you think you're going?" he asked conversationally.
Ryoga swallowed hard, feeling completely undone. "I—I wasn't going anywhere," he said.
"That's interesting. 'Specially since I find you walking out the door right during the shift change. Don't suppose that's 'cause you don't want anyone to see you leaving."
Ryoga squeezed his eyes shut, despair welling within him. Why did Ranma have to show up now of all times? And how had he known? Feeling two hands on his shoulders, Ryoga jerked back reflexively. Ranma caught his arm before he could pull away.
"Let me go!" Ryoga cried, suddenly outraged. "Why would you care, anyway? You're nothing but a liar, just the like the rest!" He started to struggle, but Ranma caught his other arm, trying to avoid grabbing his wrists on reflex.
"Ryoga, stop!" Ranma said. "What's gotten into you?" he asked, trying to position himself between Ryoga and the door as the angered boy tried to push past him into the hall. Despite being weak from not eating and lack of restful sleep, the Lost Boy's strength was still something to contend with. Ranma gritted his teeth, knowing that sooner or later, Ryoga would either break free or someone else would show up. Not liking either of those possibilities, Ranma abruptly released Ryoga's arms. Not expecting the sudden lack of resistance, Ryoga fell forward against him, unable to catch his balance. Ranma put his hands on Ryoga's waist and lifted the Lost Boy off his feet. Then, without further elaboration, Ranma shifted his weight to one side and tossed him inside the room.
Ryoga landed on his side, his body sliding several inches on the smooth floor. Quickly getting over the shock of what had just happened, he started to push himself up off the ground. He stopped halfway as Ranma slammed the door shut behind him and remained standing in front of it.
"Sorry, man. But you're not leaving."
Ryoga glared at him and climbed to his feet. Too late, he realized the knife had come partially out of his pocket. Before he could grab it, it fell to the floor.
Ranma strode over to him and picked it up. "Planning on traveling light?" he asked caustically, his blue eyes hardening. He motioned to Ryoga's pack. "Give me anything sharp you've got in there."
"No," Ryoga said defiantly.
"Do it," Ranma told him. "Unless you want me to tell the doctors about your little plan."
Ryoga's eyes flared in anger. "Where will that get you? I already said I forgive you! No one will blame you when I'm gone, so you might as well stop trying to play the damn hero!"
Ranma blinked, momentarily taken aback. He stared at Ryoga in shock as angry tears formed in the Lost Boy's eyes. "Wh-what?"
"I know exactly what you're doing! You just don't want anyone to hold you responsible for what happens," Ryoga cried. "You're nothing but a damn liar, I know you don't give a damn whether I live or die, and I don't care! And no one's going to blame you now, and they won't blame Ukyo either, so you can both just stop your damn game!"
Ranma felt something akin to horror flow through him. Was that really what Ryoga thought he was trying to do? Cover his own back?
"Ryoga…" he breathed. "You…you don't really believe that, do you?"
"Why shouldn't I?" Ryoga demanded. "It's true, admit it!"
Ranma closed his eyes and raised a hand to his forehead, trying to grasp implications of what had been said. He shook his head slowly, then looked back at the Lost Boy. "No…it's not true. Why…why would you think that?"
"Because I know you," Ryoga managed, his voice now a trembling whisper. "I know what you're like. You only care about yourself…n-not me…nobody does…" He slipped down to his knees.
"That's not true-"
"Yes, it is!" Ryoga screamed. "I've got no reason to live…and I don't deserve to anyway," he said, starting to cry in earnest.
Ranma stared at him in confusion. "Don't deserve it? Ryoga, look, I know you're upset about your father and all, but that's still no reason to-"
"That's not the reason!" Ryoga cried, lifting his head. "Yes, I miss him, but I've missed him my whole damn life because he was never there anyway. The worst thing about it is that I'm more relieved that he's dead than anything else! And I hate myself for that, because I should be sad, even though he didn't love me and even though he beat the hell out of me all the time. He was still all I had. But now he's gone, and I'm alone…"
Ranma could only gaze at him, overwhelmed. He wants to kill himself because he's guilty for feeling relieved that someone who hurt him all the time is gone? he thought in disbelief. I don't understand…
"Ryoga," Ranma said carefully, "it's not like it's your fault he died. Why shouldn't you feel a little relieved? You're human. And you're not alone-"
"Yeah, right," Ryoga interrupted bitterly. "There's Ukyo, who only wants to use me to get Akane out of the picture so she can have you. Cologne only trains me because she wants me to break you and Akane up. Shampoo wanted to cook me for you. The only time Mousse was ever decent to me was so he could use me to help beat you. And Akane used me to make you jealous, no matter what form I was in. Then there's you," Ryoga said, biting the words. "You act all nice when you want something from me. The rest of the time, I'm your number one source of entertainment." He pushed his hair away from his eyes. "Great company. Sorry if I'd rather do without it."
Ranma fell silent, feeling at a loss. He couldn't deny what Ryoga had said, because as sad as it was, there was truth in everything he'd spoken. "Alright, so maybe it does look like everyone's just toying with you," he admitted. "But it's not like they don't care about you or anything-"
"Everyone appreciates a pawn."
Ranma let out a frustrated growl. "Can't you have just a little faith?"
"In what?" Ryoga asked angrily. "Why should I?"
Ranma glanced at him, perplexed by the last question. "Why shouldn't you?"
Ryoga looked away. "I've got no reason for anyone to care about me."
The pigtailed boy blinked. "Why not?"
Ryoga turned back to Ranma, his eyes still bright with tears. "Because if your own parents can't love you, why would anyone else?" he whispered.
Ranma felt something inside him clench. "Ryoga…" he sighed sadly. He knelt in front of the other boy. "It ain't like that. Is that how you really feel?"
Ryoga swallowed and averted his gaze again. "It's true, isn't it?"
Ranma frowned slightly. "Look, I'm sure your father did, even if it didn't seem that way. And you said your mother…I mean, it seems obvious that she loved you-"
"Right," Ryoga snapped. "So much that she left me with a violent drunk. She knew what he was like; she'd been married to him for years before she took off. All those things I told you were just my own stupid delusions. I knew when she left that she was never coming back for me, whether she wanted to or not. I knew that once she started running she would never stop. I've done the exact same thing these past few years. I ran, and this is what happened when I stopped," he said, motioning with his wrist.
No, Ryoga, you're still running, Ranma thought. Just like you always do. How many times have you run away because of something I did to you? I've lost count…
The pigtailed boy tried to collect himself. "Listen. I didn't know your parents, but I really doubt that's how they felt. Maybe they just made bad mistakes. Everyone does…but besides all that, it don't mean the whole world hates you or nothin'. Especially not Akane and Ukyo and…everyone."
Ryoga looked at him, his dark eyes dull and weary. "It doesn't matter anyway. They'll get over me."
Ranma's eyes hardened "Even if they do, I won't."
"Would you stop pretending?" Ryoga hissed.
"I'm not pretending anything!" Ranma shouted, causing the other boy to start. "You haven't even given me a reason as to why you'd think that! What the hell is with you? As if I really just wanted…as though nothing else mattered…"
"What else does?" Ryoga asked him. More tears welled in his eyes, and he pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face in his arms.
Ranma fell silent. What else? What about the fact that you'd be gone and I'd never see you again? No more you for me to talk to and spar with and pick on and save from figure skaters who want you for a pet. No more you to plot against me and make me jealous and help me learn techniques and bail me out when I get in real trouble. No more you to shout crazy things and make me laugh and pick fights with and tease. No more you to be my best rival and my best friend…
Ranma reached out and placed his hands on the sobbing boy's shoulders.
"Listen to me, Ryoga," he said.
The bandana'd boy lifted his head to look at him, his face wet with tears. Ranma gazed straight into his eyes, a determined expression on his face.
"I swear to you on my honor that I was not pretending anything," Ranma said steadily. "And I ain't pretending now. I don't know where you got the idea that I just wanted you to forgive me so I wouldn't be…accoun'able, but it's not true. I wanted you to forgive me so I'd be sure that you knew I…that I never meant to hurt you so much. Do you understand?"
Ryoga looked at him uncertainly, his hazel eyes still flooded.
"Do you understand?" Ranma repeated.
Ryoga flinched slightly at the force in Ranma's voice, then nodded quickly.
Ranma sighed in relief. "Good." He stood up, pulling Ryoga with him. "Now. I want you to give me anything sharp you got in your pack."
Ryoga glanced at him, his eyes suddenly fearful. "A-are you going to tell-"
"Jeez, no. Haven't you ever heard of an idle threat?"
Ryoga sank down on the bed, rubbing the tearstains from his cheeks with his sleeve. "You can get it. The only other thing I have in there is the cooking knife. It's right on top," he said.
Ranma opened the top flap of the pack and pulled it out. This makes three. I'd be in serious trouble if anyone around this joint decided to search me, he thought cynically. "Give me your bandana, too," Ranma said, being all too familiar with Ryoga's ability to turn it into a weapon.
The Lost Boy scowled slightly, but reached around to tug loose the knot. He pulled the swath of bright cloth free, causing his thick black hair to spill down further over his eyes.
The pigtailed boy wrapped the bandana around the blade of the tool, then slid it into his pocket with the others. He moved to the chair beside the bed and collapsed into it wearily. He'd known something was up, but he hadn't expected to find Ryoga preparing to escape to someplace where he could…
Ranma's thoughts were cut off as Ukyo came flying into the room in a blur, brown hair streaming behind her. She landed on the bed next to a very startled Ryoga, her face a mask of excitement.
"Guess what, Sugar! Your doctor just told me they're letting you out on Wednesday! And guess what else, Mr. Nakajima called and said you can stay with me! Isn't that great!"
Ryoga managed to nod mutely. Ukyo turned to Ranma.
"Oh, hi, Ranma-honey. I didn't even see you there. Hope I didn't interrupt. I just couldn't wait to tell Ryoga the good news."
Ranma smiled at her. "Don't worry 'bout it, Ucchan. It is good news. Right, Ryoga?"
The Lost Boy's expression told him clearly enough that he had no idea what was happening. Ranma elbowed him inconspicuously. "Huh? Oh, yeah, that's great," Ryoga said to her.
Ukyo beamed at them happily. "I knew it would cheer you up!"
Ryoga gave her a wan smile as Ranma shook his head. At least he's trying. "Did they tell you what time, Ukyo?" he asked.
Ukyo nodded. "We can come and get him after school. Mr. Nakajima said he'd be here to sign the release papers." Then her brow furrowed slightly. "Hey, Sugar, what happened to your bandana?"
Ryoga immediately blushed. "Uhh…"
"He's lettin' me borrow it for a while," Ranma interrupted. Ryoga glanced at him, relieved.
"Borrow it? For what?" Ukyo asked, confusion stamping her features.
Ranma went blank. "Uh…"
Ryoga sat up. "Well, we were…um, thinking that since Akane knows about my curse and I won't be able to, you know, pretend to be her pet anymore, maybe we'd get her a real pet pig. And she can have one of my bandanas if she wants one for it."
Nice save, Ranma thought, looking pointedly at Ryoga. "Yeah. That's right, it'll be a surprise. There's a weird pet store downtown that has miniature pigs. We can pick one out after school one day this week. You should come, Ucchan; you're a girl. You know all about cute stuff like that."
Ukyo glanced back and forth between the two boys, trying to figure out if they were hiding something. She wanted ask why Ranma needed it now if they weren't even going for a few days, but Ryoga seemed kind of strained, so she decided against it.
"Oh. Ok. That's awfully nice of you to do that for her," she said instead.
Ranma relaxed and put his hands behind his head. "Yeah. Course, she's such an uncute tomboy and all, she probably won't appreciate it or nothin'."
"Rannmaaa…" Ryoga growled.
The pigtailed boy grinned. "Old habits die hard, eh Ryoga?" he asked. The other two stared at him silently for a moment before he realized what he'd said. Ranma blanched. "Eh, heh. I didn't mean it like that," he explained.
Ukyo laughed nervously and Ryoga grimaced. "You crazy kids," she said.
Ranma tried to stifle his own laughter, but failed.
"Oh!" Ukyo exclaimed. Ryoga groaned and she started to giggle.
"Thanks a lot. Rub it in my face a little more, why don't you."
"Don't tempt us," Ranma warned. "It hasn't been on purpose so far."
"Sure it hasn't," Ryoga muttered.
Ranma shook his head. "Anyway, speaking of uncute tomboys, Akane's probably countin' the minutes at home. I think she wants to come and see ya pretty bad, Ryoga."
Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "Isn't she going to be mad?"
"Maybe," Ranma said.
"Yes," Ryoga said at the same time.
"Hey, that reminds me. How come you never told me about your curse, Sugar?"
Ryoga's expression darkened. "It's not exactly the kind of thing you want to go around telling people about," he grumbled. "Besides, you didn't ask."
"Hmm, good point. Oh, well, I kinda knew anyway," Ukyo said lightly.
"What?" Ryoga cried. He looked at Ranma. "You didn't-"
"Of course not! She figured it out on her own. And even if she hadn't, word woulda gotten around."
Ryoga put a hand to his forehead. "Great. So all this time, practically everyone knew except Akane, and no one bothered to tell me..."
Ranma glanced at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Yeah, come to think of it. Pop knew, Mr. Tendo knew, Cologne and Shampoo found out, so did Mousse, then there's Kasumi-"
"Ah, shut up."
Ukyo shook her head. "You two are impossible." Then she turned to Ryoga. "So, Akane wants to see you, huh? Maybe someone should stay for damage control."
"Don't scare him, Ukyo."
"It's a well-founded fear, Ranchan. How many times have you been on the business end of that mallet of hers?"
"Too many. Especially considering the bonbori, bokkens, chains, umbrellas and giant spatulas I've been on the business end of at the same time," Ranma said.
"You deserved it!" Ryoga and Ukyo chorused.
The pigtailed boy jumped. "Jeez. Great minds think alike, don't they." He bounced to his feet to stretch, then cocked his head and looked at Ryoga, only now noticing the drawn appearance of his face. "You don't look like you've been sleepin' so well, P-chan."
Ryoga's eyes widened at his statement. "Wh-what makes you say that?"
"You look like you're about to pass out, Sugar," Ukyo told him. "Maybe you should get some fresh air." She glanced at the window. "I guess your window doesn't open, does it," she realized sheepishly.
"N-no," Ryoga said. Memories of his nightmare came flooding back with frightful clarity. Ranma and Ukyo in the room with him…Akane…bars on the window…
His face grew pale, and his hands began to tremble.
Ranma didn't fail to notice. "Hey, man, relax. You look like you're gonna be sick."
Ukyo stood up, concern written on her features. "Are you alright, Sugar?"
Ryoga nodded. "I'm fine," he told them shakily. "I g-guess I am a little...tired, m-maybe."
Ranma and Ukyo glanced at each other. Then the pigtailed boy shrugged. "In that case, we'll let you sleep. You sure you're feelin' Ok? Should we get your doctor or something?"
"No!" Ryoga said quickly. "I mean, I'm fine. Really."
Ukyo and Ranma exchanged glances with each other again. "I'm fine," Ryoga insisted.
"Ok, Sugar. If you say so."
"Yeah, if you say so," Ranma echoed. Then he looked at Ukyo. "C'mon, Ucchan. I'll walk you home."
"You just want a freebie."
"Always a plus." Ranma turned back to the boy on the bed. "Take it easy, pal. We'll be back tomorrow."
Ukyo smiled. "Sure we will. Hang in there, Sugar."
"I will."
They headed for the door. "And behave," Ranma added over his shoulder.
"I will," Ryoga said exasperatedly. He watched them go, then laid back on the bed stare at the white ceiling. Sleep would be nice. Ryoga closed his eyes. An image of padded walls came unbidden to his mind, causing him to sit up with a start and gasp for breath. He tugged at the bandages on his wrists in a sudden fit of fear, then realized that nothing had changed.
Forget that, the Lost Boy decided. I'd rather be tired. Despite what Ranma said before, I'd rather be tired…
Ranma and Ukyo walked down the street, enjoying the fact that they weren't in school on such a nice day, but at same time feeling bad for the less lucky Ryoga.
Ukyo paused, apparently wondering at something. Ranma stopped beside her. "Somethin' wrong?"
"He doesn't smile much, does he?" she asked, sounding a little dejected.
"Who, Ryoga?" Ranma said, and Ukyo nodded. He shrugged noncommittally. "Not really. Why do y'ask?"
"I…I was kind of hoping he'd cheer up…"
"He did cheer up," Ranma said.
"But it was only for my benefit," she protested.
Ranma sighed. "You know how he is, Ukyo. He don't smile much, 'cept for when he's in a really evil mood. Or if Akane's around, of course." He shook his head. "But I don't know if that counts. I think he does it then more out of nervousness than anything. Ryoga acts so edgy around her, it's hard to tell."
Ukyo smiled. "Yeah, I know. It's kind of cute."
Ranma felt his jaw drop. "Wha-? C-cute?" he stammered bewilderedly.
"Well, sure. I mean, he gets so strung out and jumpy. It's too bad Akane doesn't appreciate the way he tries so hard."
Ranma felt a bit dumbfounded. "Huh. I don't know what he sees in her. She's so uncute and all. Figures a guy like him would be willing to be saddled with a mule like Akane."
Ukyo's smile faded. "Uh, Ranchan? Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," he replied easily, not noticing her suddenly subdued tone.
They stopped in front of her restaurant. Ukyo stared at the ground, wringing her hands, her expression troubled. Ranma's brow creased with concern.
"Ucchan? What is it?"
The pretty chef sighed. "Ranma…you know the other night, when Ryoga…you know…"
"Yeah?"
"Well…when I was talking to him—arguing with him, or whatever—he said something…"
This can't be good, Ranma decided. "Ok," he said slowly. "What'd he say?"
"Well, I said something about how he was always blaming you for everything, and then he said that you couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes…" she trailed off nervously.
Uh-oh. "What else did he say?" Ranma asked warily.
"He said…he said you couldn't do any wrong in my eyes except for loving Akane and not me," Ukyo stated finally.
Oh, damn, Ranma thought. I didn't want to deal with this yet. Not now…
"D-do you?" Ukyo asked, looking at him with wide blue eyes. "L-love her, I mean?"
Ranma sighed. "I'm sorry, Ukyo."
Ukyo dropped her gaze and bit her lower lip, trying not cry. "I understand, Ranchan," she managed.
"No, Ucchan. Don't just say that 'cause you think you have to." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Listen. I know what you're thinking, but it's not like that. See, with you…you're like a sister to me, Ucchan. I ain't got that many friends, and you're one of my best ones. And every time I think of what my old man did, I wanna throw him off a cliff. It's not fair to you or me." Ranma took a breath and continued. "I always hated all this fiancée junk, 'cause I knew it was just gonna hurt a lot of people in the end. I know it sounds crazy with the way things are, but…I do l-love Akane. I wish I'd been the one to tell you before Ryoga did…I'm sure he didn't mean to do it that way…but it'd be wrong for me to keep pretending I don't anymore and to leave everyone else hoping for something that ain't gonna to happen. You don't deserve that, Ukyo, and neither does Shampoo…you both deserve someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. And I'm sorry I can't be the one. Really, I mean it."
Ukyo sighed again and looked up at him. Her eyes were full of tears, but she was smiling. "I know you do, Ranchan. And it's Ok. If Akane is the one you want to be with, then you should be with her."
Ranma smiled back. "Still friends, right?"
"You know we are."
Ranma hugged her. "You're still the cute one. And I ain't the only guy in the world. True, it might be hard to find someone as great as me-"
Ukyo laughed against him. "Jackass," she said. They let go of each other slowly. Ukyo wiped at her eyes. "I guess this gets you out of one engagement."
"It gets you outta one, too," Ranma reminded her.
"Yeah." Ukyo stepped towards her door. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, Ok Ranchan?"
"Yeah," Ranma answered. He was glad Ukyo had taken everything so well. He hated to hurt her so badly, but what he'd said was true—she deserved someone who loved her. "Bye, Ucchan."
"See ya, Ranma-hon-…Ranchan."
Ukyo slid the door shut behind her and turned the lock. She wandered slowly to the back of the restaurant and went up the stairs to her apartment, where she curled on her couch. She'd expected herself to cry, but no tears came.
It's strange, but having put it that way, I guess I am out of an engagement, she thought to herself. It wasn't so bad, really. Ukyo wondered if her love for Ranma really had been much deeper than friendship after all. Ever since she came to Nerima, winning Ranma had been a competition between her and his other fiancées. Perhaps she had simply gotten caught up in the race, convincing herself that she did love him that way just because she thought she should.
Hmm. Marrying him really would've been kind of like marrying a brother, Ukyo concluded. After what we were like together as little kids and all…it was always a game. And love wasn't supposed to be a game.
Ukyo stood and went into her bedroom. She opened her closet and pulled out her school uniform—the one for girls, not boys. She remembered the way all the guys had acted when she had first worn it to school—except for Ranma.
But he's not the only guy out there, she thought with a small sigh. He was right, though—he might be a jackass, but it will be hard to find someone as great as him.
Ukyo hung the uniform back in her closet. Then she went back to the stairs and headed up to the third floor, intending to make sure everything was cleaned up for when she brought Ryoga home. She looked at the empty little room critically. The floor was bare, but she had an extra rug rolled up in one of the closets downstairs, and she was sure she had some spare curtains down there too…
She walked over to one of the windows and looked out at the street below. It was a decent view. Ukyo pushed the window open a few inches—surely Ryoga would be happy to have a window that opened.
Ukyo leaned down and put her elbows on the sill to peer outside without the glass panes in her way. Maybe she'd wear the girls' uniform this week. Maybe on Thursday or Friday…
Akane stepped off the elevator on the third floor of the Nerima District Hospital. She walked slowly, searching for the right room number. She noticed that most of the rooms she passed appeared empty, but there was one door up ahead that was open. Akane glanced at the sign displaying the number, and saw it was 332.
Akane peered around the doorjamb into the room and saw a familiar young man sitting on the windowsill opposite, obviously looking outside. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
Ryoga started at the sound and turned. A look of dismay passed across his face when he saw Akane standing there, smiling at him.
"Hello, Ryoga."
"A-Akane," Ryoga managed, jumping to his feet nervously. Akane walked inside slowly, glancing around at the room and its contents before settling her gaze on the boy in front of her again. She noticed his apparent discomfort at her presence, but tried to keep her smile in place.
"How are you?" Akane asked him, trying to keep her voice light and cheerful. Ryoga stared at her, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
"I-I'm f-fine," Ryoga forced out. He looked at the floor, finding it much easier to cope with.
"That's good," Akane told him, feeling a little awkward. She stepped closer, her expression one of concern. "You look a little pale."
Ryoga nodded. "L-listen, Akane, if you want to hit me or something, that's fine, but would you mind if we went outside or something first 'cause I think they'd be real mad if something got broken in here-"
"It's Ok, Ryoga. I'm not going to hit you."
Ryoga blinked twice. "Uh…you're not?"
Akane shook her head. "No."
Ryoga stared at her silently for a moment, then closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Akane," he said softly.
Akane smiled at him. "I know. It's Ok."
The Lost Boy shook his head. "No," he told her. "It's not." He gazed at her, his expression pained. "I-I didn't mean to take advantage of you like that, Akane, it wasn't supposed to go so far…but it seemed like you were the only one who cared about me, even if it was only when I was P-chan…I don't blame you if you hate me," he said quietly. He looked down at the floor again.
"I don't," Akane said. "You made a mistake, Ryoga. That's all. Everyone makes them." She walked past him to the window and looked down at the gardens below. "When Ranma first told me that you…he wasn't very specific. And I was angry—very angry. But later, when I found out what happened…I realized I wasn't being fair. I realized that maybe I shouldn't waste time being angry over a single mistake that you never meant to make. Not when time can run out so suddenly." She turned back towards him, her eyes bright. "Despite what you might've done, you've still been one of the best friends I've ever had, Ryoga. No matter what form you were in. You've always been there to defend me and help me." Akane averted her eyes, her expression ashamed. "I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you when you really needed it," she said.
Ryoga swallowed hard. "Akane…it's not your fault. And you've always been a good friend to me, too. No matter what form I was in," he added sadly.
Akane stepped forward and hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm so glad you're Ok," she told him, fighting back tears. "When Ranma told me how close…"
Ryoga hugged her back carefully, for once not suffering the bittersweet feeling of happiness that was bound to be cut short, the feeling he'd always had when with her before. He felt only the dull ache of loss for something he probably never would have had, and the warmth of having someone hold him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm sorry, Akane…"
"I know," Akane whispered back as she hugged him closer, her head on his shoulder. "It's alright, Ryoga. I forgive you…"