Amaranth Bun: Thank you! It's really starting to sink in that I'm graduating and it's crazy. Al's pretty happy to be back at home, too. He's finally starting to feel like himself again and being at home will help :) Ed has a lot of unresolved feelings and yelling is one of the only ways he can process all those feelings. While he shouldn't yell at Al, he can't seem to stop himself from doing it once he's started. It was surprising, though, that he went from saying he knew it wasn't Al's fault to full-out blaming him but it's also understandable. Glad you were reassured by it, even though you aren't sure why! Picard is exactly what Al needs, I think. He's a gentle little fluff ball who just loves on him so much. And it's hinted at that perhaps Picard used to be a therapy animal which is why he's so good about finding Ed when Al needs help. And you're absolutely right! Hohenheim is beginning to take control of his life and heal just like the boys are! They're on this journey together and now that the boys are improving, he can too. And yeah - Ed and Al haven't told their dad much about the abuse. He only knows basic details about it. So Ed opening up to him is a big step for Ed. Here's the next chapter!
Yveltal45: Glad you like it and it's getting better! :D Hope that trend continues!
Hey, guys! Sorry I didn't update Friday like usual. My little sister surprised me Friday by visiting my apartment so I didn't get a chance to edit this chapter over the weekend. But it's here now and to make up for it I'll post a new chapter on Wednesday and again on Friday so we're "caught up" so to speak :) Well, this weekend I graduate! Wow! I move back home on Sunday so I should have a chapter ready by Monday. I don't know if I'll be able to update on the same days after that, but we'll see! I've got two weddings in June to attend (I'm a braid's maid in one!), a wedding in July, and my training for my big kid job starts in June so it'll be crazy for a while! But I promise that I'll update when I can and that I'll be able to set a schedule for updates that I can keep up with. Just bear with me as I make this transition from college to the real world. It's crazy, haha! Anyway, I'll stop rambling and let you read. See you all on Wednesday! :D
In the morning Al and I both wake up in Dada's bed. It was a bad night for everyone. Al actually threw up last night but he's fine now. Dad thinks that it was probably a dizzy spell. While most of his concussion symptoms are gone now, he's still having some issues with light, memory, and balance. Takes time for that sort of thing to heal, you know? We eat cereal at the table as Dad reads over his lab protocol for the lab he's running today. He double checks his protocol every lab day 'cause the kids don't read it or listen to him when he explains stuff. He always gives them detailed instructions and things still go wrong. You'd think that kids in orgo would be able to handle lab and clean up after themselves but you'd be wrong. They can't. So, Dada has to know it inside and out so he can answer his students' dumb questions all lab. I don't know how he does his job, honestly. We finish breakfast, Al says goodbye to Picard, and we get in the car. Al talks about volunteering today on the way to school. He's excited to go back to the shelter, but is too anxious to do it by himself, so I'm gonna go with him today. Since Mei's mom drove us last time, Dada's gonna drive this week. Mei only has calculus at the high school in the mornings, so Dad will need to drive to the middle school to pick her up. It's not that big a deal, though, 'cause all the schools in town are actually near each other. The elementary school is behind the middle school and the middle school is on the same campus as the high school. Small town charm I guess.
We get to school and Dada drops us off. Winry meets us like always and we walk to class together. We drop Al off at his class, then Winry and I continue on towards ours. I have most of my classes with Winry. We're in the same advanced math, the same language arts, and the same history class. We even have gym together. The only differences are our electives and science. Winry's not in to chemistry, so she's in the honors while I'm in AP chemistry. She's also in shop and French while I'm in German and health. Winry takes health next semester and I'm taking intro into astronomy. The class is cool 'cause we're allowed to use the college's observatory and goes out there once a week in the evening on top of the regular class time. I think next year we're gonna take driver's ed. In Illinois, driver's ed is required to get a license, but you don't need to do it through school. It's just easier to do it through school 'cause the other programs are really expensive. At least, that's what Dada says. Dada bought me the permit book but I haven't really looked at it yet. So, yeah. There's that.
The bell rings and it's already time for lunch. I zoned out pretty hard core but the bell brought me back to reality. Winry and I meet with Al at his locker walk to lunch together. We didn't bring a lunch today, so Dada gave us lunch money. I've told Al before that when I can drive, we'll get good food for lunch instead of crappy school lunch food. The three of us wait in line, snatching up those cups of strawberries as soon as we see them. They're honestly the best thing the cafeteria serves outside of Bosco Sticks. Seriously. Don't know what is about them, but damn those preservative-filled strawberries are the best. We get the rest of our food and pay before sitting down. Ling joins us and so does Rose. It always takes Ling a little longer to get to lunch 'cause he has type I diabetes and needs to check his sugar and get insulin. His diabetes is controlled pretty well right now, but when he was a kid it was hard on him. He has one of those insulin pumps a couple years ago and that helped. Anyway, Ling and Rose notice that we have the strawberries and get irritated 'cause they don't have any.
"I swear," Rose mumbles, "The way they feed us you'd think they're trying to kill us." We all laugh, Lan Fan sitting down next to Ling.
"Hey, Mei told me you're volunteering today, Al," Ling says. Al nods and Ling goes on, "That's awesome, man. We've been trying to recruit volunteers but haven't had much luck."
"If I didn't have to work at the garage so much I'd do it in a heartbeat," Winry says, opening her strawberries. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Ling tells her. "You support the shelter in a different way. You and your grandma adopted your dog there, right?"
"Yeah," Winry confirms. "Den lost his leg when he was a puppy and nobody wanted him. But when I was a kid, I fell in love with him, so we adopted him." I smile. Not only did Winry fall in love with that dog, she designed him a prosthetic so he could walk like a normal dog. Winry's awesome. I blush and stare at my tray. Why am I thinking about her like that? Why? I don't know why, but lately I've been thinking about touching her and maybe even... I blush harder. I don't like where my thoughts are going. Winry's my friend. My beautiful, incredible, smart, warm, nice, passionate, kind friend.
"You're going to the shelter, too, Ed?" Ling asks.
"Huh?" I ask stupidly. Al nudges me and I nod. "Uh, yeah, but I don't think it'll be long term for me."
"But you and Al do everything together," Rose points out.
"Well, yeah, I guess, but animals have always been more of Al's thing," I explain.
"How's Picard?" Ling asks.
"Oh, he's great," Al says instantly. "He's adjusted really well to living at our house. He's eating and putting some weight. We're taking him to the vet on Saturday for his check-up and shots. I think he'll be good at the vet. Picard sleeps next to me and plays with all his toys and doesn't make too much noise. He's a really good cat."
"Yeah, Captain's a good cat," I agree.
"It's super cool that you connected with him," Ling says. "Mei told me that Picard wasn't doing so well. Not eating and shit. So, it's pretty legit that you connected with him. Think you saved his life, Al." Al blushes.
"I don't know about that," Al says, picking at his food. Al glances at me and says with his eyes that he thinks it's the other way around. I nod. Picard gives Al a reason to keep going. A reason to wish he wasn't dead. So, yeah. He might have saved Picard but Picard saved him, too. He just can't say that in front of them.
No one knows except me that he's in the low place - that he wishes he was dead most of the time. If anyone knew, they'd freak out. Al seems so happy at school. All our friends think that he's my happy little brother. But they don't know Al, not really. They don't really know me, either. As everyone talks I realize that someday, I'll have to tell them the truth. No one but Winry knows about the abuse. And what Winry does know isn't much. She doesn't know how bad it was. No one does. And someday, I'll have to tell them. Friends tell each other that stuff. They're honest with each other and they don't keep secrets. So, while I don't have to tell them everything if I don't want to, I at least need to tell them the darkest secret I have. Someday, I'll have to tell them I was abused. Al laughs lightly and I take a bite of those strawberries. I don't have to tell them right now. I don't have to tell them until I'm ready. I close my eyes and grin - these strawberries really do taste good.
At the end of the day, Dada picks us up and drives to pick up Mei. Mei's waiting for us and she grins broadly when she sees us. She hurries into the backseat and talks the whole way to the shelter. She tells Dad when to pick us up and we go inside. The staff greets us warmly and we go downstairs. Mei lets Al do the cat room, so he and I go in there. I see a radio and decide to turn it on. I find a station to listen to and smile. Better when I'm Dancin' by the M-Train is on, so I turn it up. Al laughs and we dance a little while we work. Al softly sings along with the song, the cats watching him and fighting for his attention. He pours them some food and the cats all go nuts. He's still singing, a smile plastered on his face as he pets the cats. They walk all over him, Al laying down on the ground. I sit cross-legged next to him and smile. Al's in his element. He's good at this. He'll less anxious about this in a week or two. He won't need me to come soon.
"Better when I'm dancin'," Al sings softly to an orange tabby on his chest. He pets the cat and I can't help but think that if given the choice, Al wouldn't leave. That or he'd just adopt all the cats. One or the other.
"Dreamsicle likes you," Mei comments, walking in. I spring up and turn the radio down, the song ending. Al smiles at her and Mei blushes slightly. "He, uh, you know... he's sweet."
"Just like the ice cream," Al hums. I blink and wonder if Mei thinks about Al the way I think about Winry. You know - wanting to touch him and be near him all the time. Wishing she could press her lips against his and wrap her arms around his middle and never have to let go. My eyes widen and it hits me. I like Winry. I like her the way Mei likes Al. Gross. That's not supposed to happen. Winry's my friend. But maybe... Maybe she could be more. I don't know. I've got so much other shit to deal with I really can't add a girlfriend on top of it all. But maybe we wouldn't be boyfriend-girlfriend. Maybe we could just be Ed and Winry. Maybe nothing would change between us except we cuddled or maybe kissed. Maybe we could just be friends still. I don't know. All I know is I like her. She makes me feel safe; feel like I can do anything. I don't need to kiss her or be her boyfriend to feel those things.
"How's Picard?" Mei asks, breaking me free of my thoughts.
"He's great," Al says, sitting up. Dreamsicle gives Al a sour look before hurrying off. Al laughs and says, "He's adjusting really well. Maybe sometime you can come over and visit him."
"Well," Mei begins, "if I come over it's not to see him." Al blinks, obviously confused.
"Who else would you want to see?" Al asks and Mei laughs.
"You, Alphonse," she chuckles, bumping him with her hip. "You silly goose." Al's cheeks turn pink and he laughs a little.
"Right," he says. "'Cause we're friends."
"Yeah," Mei replies warmly. "I gotta get back to work." She starts to walk away, but pauses. "Al?"
"What?" Al asks, standing up. He's got boxes to clean still. Can't sit on the floor forever.
"It's just, well," Mei struggles, "the week you adopted Picard, I heard you say that you understood him." My blood runs cold as Mei turns to face us. "I don't mean to pry and I won't ask, but I just wanted to say that if you truly do understand him, I'm sorry that you do." Al's whole body quivers and the three of us just stare at each other. I didn't think she heard him. But I was wrong. She did Mei lowers her gaze and shakes her head. "Sorry," she says, "I shouldn't have said anything."
"Mei," Al says as she turns to leave, "I do understand him." I blink, my heart thumping as I wait to hear what Al's gonna tell her or what Mei's gonna ask. She pauses again, but keeps her back to us.
"You do?" She questions softly.
"Yeah," Al replies with a strained voice. "I'm... I'm not ready to tell you now, but someday, I will be." I watch as Mei twitches and runs over. She gives Al a big hug, Al sniffling loudly.
"I'm sorry," Mei apologizes. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry. Please don't stop volunteering 'cause I can't keep my mouth shut!" Al wipes his face with one hand and smiles weakly.
"I won't," he tells her. "I promise." Mei pulls away, a smile on her face.
"Good," she says. "I'm glad. I like hanging out with you." Mei walks away, finally leaving the cat room. I turn to Al, my brother shaking violently. I've never been more terrified that someone stumbled upon our secret. But I've also never been more proud of Al. He was so brave, so calm when Mei was talking to him and I'm so proud of him. Al sinks to his knees, blink tears out of his eyes. He takes a haggard breath, starting to cry and I unzip his backpack. I take Chico out and hand it to him before sitting down next to him.
"Hey," I say gently. "You were so brave, Al. I'm so proud of you." Al grins weakly and tries to wipe his face, holding Chico under his arm. "You handled that so well."
"I was really anxious," Al says, "but I got passed it somehow. I was brave but I don't know how I did it. I don't know if I'll be brave like that again for a long time."
"That's okay," I tell him. "You don't gotta be brave all the time. No one can keep that up."
"You can," Al replies. "You're brave all the time."
"Is that a joke?" I scoff. Al shakes his head.
"No," Al insists. "I mean it. You're brave all the time." I shake my head.
"You're nice," I say, standing. "But you're also wrong. C'mon; we've got boxes to clean." Al stands, Chico still tucked under his arm. He grabs my hand and won't let me walk away. "What's wrong?"
"Brother, you're brave," he tells me. "And when you're brave, I am, too." I smile at him. Al's a nice person. Always has been. Sometimes, I think he's too nice. Now is one of those times. I'm definitely not brave all the time. I don't think anyone can be. It's hard to be brave. Sometimes, we get scared and the bravery gets choked right out of us. I know that if Mei told me she heard what I said to Picard, that I understood that poor abused cat, I would have freaked out. But Al didn't. He was brave, even though he was anxious. I'll be brave a different time. I'll be brave when Al can't be. But for now, I'll pretend I'm brave all the since Al thinks that I am. Maybe if I pretend to be brave all the time long enough, it'll actually be true.
We finish in the cat room and Al's still got Chico out. When Al cleaned boxes, Chico sat on the ground next to him and the cats came over and sniffed him. Guess they thought Chico was a real cat or something. Before we leave the cat room, I remind Al to put Chico around so Mei won't see. We've already had a close call in terms of telling Mei our secrets and I don't feel like having another one. I know Al feels the same way, so he puts Chico in his backpack and we leave the cat room. Mei waves and says she's nearly finished. While she works we go upstairs and play with the puppies Ling mentioned a few weeks ago. They're finally old enough to be adopted and I can tell the shelter volunteers are sad they're going to adoption Saturday this week. They really like those puppies. I mean, they want them to have homes and stuff but it's sad when stuff you like goes away, even if they're in a better place. A few minutes after we start playing with the puppies, Dad comes in. He smiles at us and Al holds up this fluff-ball up for Dada to see.
"Look, Dada!" Al cries eagerly. The puppy squirms and Al nuzzles his face into its fur. "He's so cute! And soft!"
"Does he have a name?" Dada asks, walking over.
"Yup!" Al replies. "They all do. This is Bear!"
"Well, hello, Bear," Dada greets, petting Bear's head. "It's very nice to meet you."
"Can we adopt him, Dada, please?" Al begs.
"Or this one!" I add, pointing at another little ball of fur. "She's my favorite. Her name's Puff 'cause she's so fat." The puppy shakes her ears, squealing as one of her brothers crawls all over her.
"We just brought home a cat, boys," Dad laughs. "How about we hold off on adopting a pet until Picard's better settled." Bear struggles out of Al's grip and tumbles on to the floor.
"Bear," Mei laughs, appearing from downstairs. Bear runs over to her and Mei giggles. "You silly boy." She scratches the dog's neck and says, "I'm going to miss you and your siblings when you get adopted on Saturday."
"You kids ready?" Dad asks.
"Yeah," Mei replies brightly. "Everything's finished!"
"Then let's get you home," Dad says, checking his watch. "It's getting close to six. Don't want your parents to worry about you." Mei shrugs and slumps off.
"They won't," Mei replies, clearly upset. "They never do."
"How come?" Al asks like he's forgotten that he's met her mother. I can imagine that with a mom like hers and a dad as absent as hers that her parents don't worry. That's probably why Ling parties all the time.
"They're always working," Mei explains, waving good-bye to the shelter volunteers as we walk out. "I don't think they ever really wanted kids, to be honest. Ling and I always had a nanny growing up and they don't spend any time with us. Never have."
"I'm sorry," Al says, getting in the car. "That's gotta be hard." Mei shrugs again, Dada starting the car.
"I'm used to it," Mei insists, though I can tell she's upset. I'm sure it's lonely to have parents who don't pay attention to you.
"Well, maybe sometime you could come over," Al suggests, his cheeks turning pink. He shakes his head and says, "Well, maybe. If you want to, I mean." Mei grins and Dada nudges me. He asks me silently if Al likes Mei and I shrug. I don't know. If he does, he's just now realizing it, I think. That or he's just embarrassed that he asked a friend to come over. Either one.
"I do," Mei answers. "You promised to show me Star Trek and I'm gonna hold you to that." Al blushes even harder and I grin.
"Uh, yeah," I say out loud, Dada smiling at me. "I'm thinking he does."
"Guess you boys really are growing up," Dad says sentimentally.
"C'mon, Dad," I say, a hint of irritation in my voice, "don't get mushy on me. We're the same as we were yesterday. It's not like we're grown-ups or anything."
"Well, no," Dada agrees, "but it's just little moments like these that really hit home that you're not little kids anymore. I missed a lot of that." I rest my head against the seat and sigh.
"Dada," I groan, "I haven't been a little kid since I was six." Al stops talking and stares at his lap. Mei glances around in confusion and I kinda forgot she was even here. But Mei doesn't ask what I mean. Don't think she will. She already got her awkward question out at the shelter. She's not allowed to ask a second one.
"No," Dada agrees sadly. "I guess not." Well. I killed that conversation. Stake right to the heart.
Way to go, Ed.
We drop Mei off at her house after the most uncomfortable silence I've ever had to endure. She knew that I had touched a nerve with both Dada and Al, but she obviously didn't know what it was. All she knows is that Al understands Picard, but that could mean anything, really. So, she had to sit through that and I do feel bad that she did. I mean, I've been on that end more times than I care to count. Dada seems upset still and he doesn't ask what we want for dinner. He just picks up something (it's frigging Olive Garden. Again.) and drives home. Al sets the table for three but Dada doesn't eat with us. I guess that I probably hurt his feelings. I don't know. I wasn't trying to. I pick at my food (Dada ordered me my favorite) and sigh. I can tell Al's anxious 'cause Dad's not eating with us. Just another unintended consequence of a comment I thought was innocent. I finish eating and go up to my room. I do homework for a few minutes before Al creeps in. He sits on my bed, Chico tucked under his arm and sighs. I glance backward at him before deciding I just want to focus on my homework. But out of habit, my lips move;
"What's the matter?" Taking care of Al is like instinct to me. I know how to do it. I know how to talk to him, how to remind him to take care of himself, and how to calm him down when he's upset and scared. I can tell when he doesn't eat and I know when he doesn't sleep well. I just know Al. So, asking him if he's okay is second nature to me and I'll do it even if I'm tired or frustrated or whatever. It's all I know in some ways.
"Is Dada mad at you?" Al asks quietly. I set my pencil down and shrug.
"Hell if I know," I reply bluntly. "I wasn't tryin' to be mean or anything. What I said was true."
"Yeah, but I think it hurt his feelings," Al says.
"So? " I question sharply.
"So, you should apologize," Al tells me. "What happened isn't his fault."
"Yeah, well, he's not innocent either," I mutter.
"I didn't say that," Al points out. "All I said was it's not his fault."
"Then who's fault is it, Al?" I ask loudly. "Who forced me to grow up so early, huh? 'Cause it sure as hell feels like Dad had something to do with it!"
"She did," Al says quietly. "Please don't yell at me, Brother. I didn't mean to make you mad."
"Well, you did," I spit. "Don't be such a damn baby about it." I'm in a bad mood 'cause of what happened in the car. I know I shouldn't take it out on Al, but I am and can't get myself to stop.
"I'm sorry, Brother," Al says, his voice strained. "I'm not trying to be a baby about it."
"Well, you are!" I snap. "If you're just gonna annoy me, go somewhere else!" Al sniffles and I groan; "You gonna cry, you big baby?"
"No," Al says, obvious tears in his voice. For some reason, his strained voice only eggs me on, encouraging me to continue being a dick to him. There's a voice in the back of my head screaming at me to stop, but the rest of me is so damn irritated that I ignore it.
"Go cry somewhere else," I mutter. Al stands but I don't hear him leave. I look over and he's standing at the door. I groan loudly. Why is he annoying me so badly? I don't understand. Al's my whole world; he's the person I care about the most. Why am I treating him like shit? Why am I ignoring the part of me that's begging me to stop?
"I know I'm a baby," Al says quietly. "I don't mean to be, honest."
"You wanna know why you're such a big baby?" I ask. I know what I'm about to say is mean. I know it is. But the words fall off my tongue before I can stop them; "It's 'cause you hide behind me all the time. All you do is cry and cling to me and I'm sick of it! You can't even take care of yourself! You always need me to clean up after you, to calm you down, and remind you to do shit like shower! Just grow up already! I should have forced you to take more beatings so you wouldn't have grown up to be such a damn baby!" Al stares at me and his lip trembles. I blink, fully realizing that what I said was beyond hurtful but the bubbles prevent me from apologizing. Al rubs at his eyes and starts crying. He wails pitifully, his whole body shaking as I stare at him. I can't believe I said that. Why the hell did I say that?! Taking care of him is my job - it always has been. I gladly took beating growing up because I love him. And yeah - it can be tiring to always take care of Al. But I don't mind doing it. He needs me and I need him. Why the hell did I say all that?
"I'm sorry," Al wails. "I'm sorry!"
"Al," I manage. I stand up and try to grab his hand but he pulls away from me.
"I knew you hated me!" Al cries. "I knew it! You hate me 'cause I can't take care of myself! I'm sorry, Brother! I really am! I don't even know why I'm here if all I do is piss you off and get in everyone's way! Maybe I really am better off..." Al trails off and I try to take his hand again. He yanks it away and yells, "Don't touch me!" I flinch, my heart pounding.
"Ally, I'm sorry," I plead. "Really, I am. I'm mad at Dada, not you. I don't think you're a baby and I don't hate you. You have to believe me!" Al shakes his head and bolts out of the room. I hurry after him and call, "Al!" He goes to Dad's room and knocks. Dad doesn't answer, so I guess he's in his office. I walk over to Al, still trying to calm him down and he pushes me down.
"Stay away from me!" He yells. "Don't touch me!" I sit on the floor, unable to process what happened. Al doesn't lash out physically, like, ever. I look up at him and his eyes widen. He backs up, his entire body shaking as he realizes what he did.
"I-I'm sorry," he stutters. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I stand up and walk over to him. He cowers away from me and I sit cross-legged in front of him.
"No," I say softly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't of said what I said. It wasn't true. I took my anger out on you and that was wrong. I'm so sorry, Al." I blink, my throat tightening up as tears prick in my eyes. "I love you, Al. I do. I love you." Al shakes his head and he wails loudly. I sigh and gently wrap my arms around his neck. I pull him into my chest and his whole body relaxes. I pet his hair, whispering over and over again how I'm sorry. I can't believe I said all that to him. Sure, Al cries a lot but who wouldn't considering what he's been through? Hell, I cry a lot. I cry a lot more than other kids in my grade to. So, if he's a big baby, I'm a big one, too. I think a baby lives deep inside of everyone. It gets buried and lost, but it's there. It's that baby that lets you see the good things in the world and laugh at silly things. But that baby is also what makes you cry a lot.
"I'm sorry, Brother!" Al wails pathetically. "I'm sorry!"
"Shh," I say gently, "it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong." Al struggles to breathe and I say, "Breathe, buddy. In through your nose and out through your mouth. You've got Chico and I've got you. You're safe. It's okay." I walk through breathing with Al, Al slowly getting the rhythm right. Once he's breathing he holds me tighter, shaking and whimpering into me.
"I love you," Al whispers. "I love you so much, Brother." I nod.
"I know you do," I say. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean what I said. You're not just a big baby. You're brave and strong and you're gonna be okay. We both are, I think." Al nods but whimpers softly. I pet his hair and ask, "What's the matter?"
"I wish I were dead, Brother," he confides in me. "That hasn't gone away."
"I know," I reply. "Are you hurting yourself or thinking about it?" Al nods.
"I think about it, yeah," he admits, his voice shaking. "I haven't done anything, though. All I've done is scratch at my skin but I catch myself doing it before I hurt myself."
"Good boy," I praise softly. "Please don't ever hurt yourself. You deserve better, Al. You really do. And even if you wish you were dead, I am so happy that you're not." Al nods again.
"Okay," he whispers tiredly. "And in the end, I think I'll stick around because of you. You and Dada and Winry and Granny and Picard and everyone else who cares about me." I grin weakly. That's the Al I know.
"Good," I say. "I'm proud of you." Al lays his head on my lap and I can tell he's smiling. He loves those four little words so much. They mean so much to him and to me. So, I know he's smiling. "Al, I won't explode at you like that again, I promise."
"And promise you'll apologize to Dada?" Al asks tiredly. I nod.
"Yup," I say. "I will. What I said was mean and I promise I'll apologize to him before I go to bed."
"I know, Ed," he says sleepily. "You always keep your promises." Well, that's not exactly true but I do try. And I've never intentionally broken a promise that I've made Al. So, yeah. I'll try not to take my feelings out on him again. If I do, I won't be doing my job - the only job I know how to do.