Dsiclaimer: I wish I owned them. I think I might get a cat. I'd name him Josh. He'd be cute. This Josh and Donna I do however not own.

Author's note: I want some company. That's why I think I'll get the cat. God no I'm not going to be a geeky person with a cat who writes all day. Well no I guess I am… for the most part. Wow I am sad.

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She felt dazed and perplexed. How long had it been since she had here? She was pretty sure she should start calling it home now. She just wasn't sure if he would want her too.

So she had kissed him. He had kissed her and she had made no objections. Is this where years of torment had brought them? Was this all there was to life? You live. You struggle. You love. Then you are lost.

She didn't want to admit it. She felt lost. Lost in a way she didn't mind feeling. She was lost in terms of not knowing how to love him. She was lost in not knowing if he were in love too. She didn't mind it but she hated it.

She looked up from the footsteps of the White House. Coffee in hand. She was ready to face whatever it was that was in there. A Josh who was going to end it before it got started. A Josh who might make out on office furniture. A Josh who was too busy to do anything at all. Or even a President who might accidentally walk in while confessing her love.

She was getting up the courage. She had to tell him.

"Maggie?" she asked when she finally reached his office. "Do you think it matters?"

"What matters?" Maggie responded as she filled something, giving Donna half her attention.

"Do you think Josh can care about anything but work?"

"He is a man isn't he?" Maggie joked.

Donna didn't laugh. She felt more like crying. She didn't know what was happening. She could barely keep an inner control of her emotions let alone an outward one.

Maggie looked over and saw her. "Don't worry." Maggie tried to reassure her. "He lo…"

She was cut off by the door opening and the Admiral exiting. He didn't notice Donna, and gave Maggie only half of what might be conceived as a glance.

Josh stood at the door. "Come on in," he mumbled to her. He turned almost immediately and went to his couch.

"Donna do you remember…" he began Donna following. Then he stopped dead and simply sat down. He didn't really move. His eyes kind of stared into space.

She closed the door silently and went to join him. She handed him a cup of coffee. He took it not really noticing he had.

"Josh," she sighed. "Something happened to me…when I left here. I mean I grew, I became someone else. I tried to run away Josh and I just couldn't do it." She took a deep breath. He took a sip of his coffee. "There's always been something calling me back. This is my home Josh."

"Do you remember?" he began not really acknowledging what she had said. "that time we went to New Hampshire and you told me that…." He paused again.

"That there was something important you should never forget about being a man," she continued. "There's always something you're going to regret. Something that you can't change no matter how much you want to. You just have to remember you are a good man and keep living."

She looked at him. He was tired, desperate for some kind of sleep. There was no way he could keep going like this. She wanted to reach over and run her hand through his tangled hair. She wanted to feel his forehead, keep him alive. Alive long enough for her to have him, for the very least/

"You remember that?" she asked him.

He just nodded.

Then a lull fell on the room. She didn't know what he was thinking. She was lost. She needed to find a way out.

"This isn't something that can't be changed is it?" he said finally.

"What?" she asked a little to shocked by what she thought he meant for it to be true.

"Me and you," he mumbled. "It's not too late?"