Man, I've been feeling really out of sync lately… Maybe that's why the other night when I was brushing my teeth, I accidentally went to spit the water into the wastebasket…I'm even feeling it when I write – everything just seems so… blah…Oh well, I've been toying with the idea of writing a series of short stories (which I'll probably ditch right now) and I've started a story with Alaska Kennedy that should be very weird, yet very entertaining ("Restaurant Evil"). Hopefully writing will help me get out of this rut… Other than that, I'm going to get back to Chris, my friend and myself in this chapter. She's been wondering what ever happened to us, so I guess I'll fix that…I've been avoiding the task for… seven chapters, now. And be forewarned – this chapter jumps around a lot, namely because I ended up working on it late and I was in a hurry to go to sleep. That's what I get for starting a campaign in Warcraft when I should have been typing…
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Chapter Fourteen
Outside of Chris' Math Class
Chris finally understood exponents… sort of… While he attempted to explain them to the Algebra class, the two girls he had persuaded to help him had occupied themselves in the hallway, having what seemed to be a discussion with Nosferatu.
"Mmmmwwwwuuuuuuhhhhh," Nosferatu said, and Vee the author nodded.
"Hhhhheeeehhhh. Wwwaaauuuhhh. Uuuuuggghhhh," she replied.
"Uh… Did you just say something?" her friend Brit asked with a quizzical look.
"I have no clue. But it sounded neat. Wait a second, I have an idea…" She started digging around in her messenger bag, and pulled out a CD player. "I have recordings of zombie squirrels from Conker's Bad Fur Day on here."
"Why would you tape that?"
"I dunno. I think I was making a documentary…"
"Mwwwuuuuhhhhh," said Nosferatu.
"Hhhhhhhmmmmm," said Vee.
"Wwwaaauuuhhhmmmmwwwaaaauuuhhhhaaaahhhheeeeeehhhh," said the CD.
"Weirdos," said Brit.
Rustle, rustle went the potted plant.
Brit stared at it. She didn't recall there being a plant there when they'd first entered the hallway. And it was large and weird-looking enough that it was quite noticeable. "Hey, where did that plant come from?"
"Err… Maybe the school garden?" Vee replied, not bothering to look at it.
"So, what's it doing?"
"What do you mean?"
The plant was slowly dragging itself across the floor with its tentacle-like vines, coming towards them.
"Well, that's a first. Hey plant, whatcha doing?"
The plant made a shrieking sound, which didn't seem remotely possible.
"I don't speak plant."
It shrieked again.
"Maybe it's hungry," Brit suggested. "Give it some food."
"I don't have any. Besides, what would a monster plant eat? Actually, hold that thought… Plant 42 ate humans or something. So maybe this does, too?"
"That might be why it's inching towards us… I don't really want to find out."
"I have an idea. We could find something to feed it, and see what happens."
"Like what?"
"Well, we could give it one of the gym teachers…"
All of a sudden one of their old friends walked by. "Hi, Vee. What happened? Did the Kool-Aid Guy finally stop attacking you?"
"Sure, whatever you say. Hey, we're trying to find something to feed this plant, and we think it might be carnivorous. Have any ideas?"
"Hm. Try the green gym," he replied, moving away from the plant when it edged nearer.
"Okay… Thanks."
In the Green Gym
The two of them and Nosferatu walked into the green gym, which was eerily empty, except for one racquetball court where two zombies, a man in a tuxedo and a woman in a dress, were walking into the glass door repeatedly.
"Why do they look like they just got married?" Brit asked.
"Aww, they're cute! I'm going to call them Zsa Zsa and Willittodie," Vee said happily.
"… Did anyone ever tell you that you are seriously weird?"
"Yeah, you tell me all the time."
"Anyway, what are we supposed to do with them? We need to get them to the plant somehow."
"I don't want to feed them to the plant – I like them too much. Maybe I'll keep them as pets…"
"Do you know how much your mom would freak out? Remember what happened with Cuppy?"
"Poor Cuppy… His little top hat doesn't have an owner anymore…" Vee said sadly, then suddenly perking up. "Anyway, you've got a point. Okay, let's make them into zombie plant chow."
"Alright. I'll open the door, and we'll lead them back to the plant."
Back in the Hallway, Next to the Math Class
The three of them managed to lead the two zombies back to the plant without anything horrible happening… Yet.
"Um, I think we have a problem," Brit said.
"You can say that again," Vee replied.
"Mmmwwwuuuhhh," Nosferatu agreed.
The two zombies refused to go near the plant on their own, being more interested in the two potential humans for dinner instead. And the plant moved so slowly that it couldn't go fast enough to catch up to them.
"This is like The Tortoise and the Snail, or something," Brit muttered, "We need someplace where we can go that the zombies can't get us, but the plant can get them."
"How 'bout the diving board in the Natatorium?"
In the Natatorium
They walked in, the smell of chlorine hitting them like a ton of bricks.
"Eww, this smell takes me back to how much I hated learning to swim here in fifth grade…" Vee said, holding her nose.
"Come on, we have to find the pool."
"Err… Isn't it behind those doors labeled 'Pool'?"
They just stared at each other. For a long, long time.
"Excuse me, can I help you with something?"
They turned to see the swimming teacher, a guy with an Afro of black hair and super short shorts.
"No," Brit said.
"Then can I ask you to leave?"
"Mmmwwwuuuhhh!" Nosferatu said nastily, grabbing the man with his insect-like appendages and hurling him into a wall.
They continued on into the pool area.
In the Pool Area
The two girls climbed onto the end of the diving board as the zombies came closer, carefully moving towards the middle where the undead couple couldn't get to them. Nosferatu just hung out on the side, since the zombies wouldn't bother him.
"It would be sort of funny if we fell in right now," Vee said idly and Brit gave her a dirty look.
"Don't jinx it."
The plant was slowly making its way over to the zombies, who were too busy examining the diving board hungrily to notice.
"Hey! No street shoes in the pool area! And one person on the diving board at a time!" the swimming teacher said, breaking the main pool rule by running inside and slipping on water, skidding right into the wall.
The plant finally reached the zombies, grabbing each one with a vine, and stuffing them into its foliage, where they disappeared.
"Bye, Willittodie, bye, Zsa Zsa."
"I'm not going to ask where that thing's mouth is," Brit said with disgust as the plant made a burping sound.
"Uh-oh. I think it's still hungry…"
The plant was now inching its way toward the diving board. They started moving closer to the end of the board, just as…
"I said, only one person on the diving board at a time! And no eating in the pool area!" the teacher said, coming at them.
The plant ate him. And then spit him back out.
"Gross!" he said, "Whose disgusting plant is this?"
The plant threw him into the pool spitefully.
Before anyone could react, even the plant, a giant white tentacle came out of the deep end, wrapping around the plant and dragging it down into the dark water under the diving board.
"Wow, I guess the pool is deeper than I thought…"
"What the hell was that?"
"I think it was a squid…" Vee said. "Maybe we should leave."
The three of them got the hell out of there.
"That's right! Get out of the Natatorium, you nuisances!" the swimming teacher called after them.
The giant squid suddenly rose up out of the pool, staring at him with a colossal eye.
"That's it, I'm quitting this job."
Back Outside of the Classroom
"Well, that's over," Brit said with a sigh. "Can we leave now? … Vee? Vee?"
Vee was staring at something. Make that someone. "Bill Nye the Science Guy?"
"What?"
Indeed, there was Bill Nye the Science Guy, wandering around the school. "Hi," he said in a friendly manner.
"I've been watching everything you do on TV since I was a kid. I'm, like, a huge fan."
"Really?"
"Yeah. My ninth grade Academic Earth Science class was full of your fans. But our teacher said you were too cool for us."
"Academic Earth Science? I am too cool for you," he said. "Nah, just kidding."
"Hey, I'm proud of my semi-Geek status. So, what are you doing here?"
"I'm looking for something," he responded simply.
"Uh, okay. And that would be?" Brit questioned.
"Nothing."
The two girls exchanged looks.
"What's that thing?" Bill asked, pointing to Nosferatu.
"Oh, him? He used to be a scientist."
Bill stared at them. No one talked for a long time.
"I'm leaving now," he said, turning to walk away.
"No, wait! I want to talk to you some more!" Vee said, following after him as he began to sprint.
Brit watched them run off, then turning to Nosferatu. "Now what?"
The monster shrugged.
"I guess we should follow them."
They walked off in the direction their friend had followed the TV host/scientist.
Chris came out into the hall and looked around. "Where'd they go? I still can't do that exponents thing…"
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Okay, and I'm gone. Somehow it seemed fitting that my exit from this story would involve Bill Nye, because I've been obsessed with him forever. And he's going to have a role in part of the story in the near future – plus it's going to be a really weird scenario. The whole 'Kool-Aid Guy' bit was from my senior year of high school. I dyed my hair candy-apple red about a year ago, and for the whole time it was red, my one friend would ask me everyday if the Kool-Aid Guy had attacked me. I wonder what he would have said if I had gotten to dye my hair green… Me with pet zombies – ha, now that would be funny. The closest I ever came to that was Cuppy – a cooked fish head I kept in a jar of alcohol. My mom didn't like him, although she thought the top hat I made him was cute. I think she threw him away, though… Oh well, I can always go back to the restaurant and order another fish. The Natatorium – ugh. I hated that place, and I had to pass it everyday, walking into the school. I actually had a dream about it a couple weeks ago, where they put sharks in the pool… I actually didn't mind the swimming teacher, I just thought it would be funny to pick on him. I don't know if a giant squid would fit in that pool, though… I might actually use that squid in something else… I was watching some show about giant squids and got inspired to base a monster on one when I heard they grow up to 40 feet in length. Wouldn't want to run into that… And why it would choose the plant over two people that were right in front of it, I don't know. Maybe it mistook the plant for another squid. Well, anyway, I've got to go. The story will be back to normal next time, and hopefully it will be less one-sided. In the meantime, leave me a review and let me know what you thought!