Dion bit down into the slice of pizza, the amount of toppings on that one slice equating to most normal square meals. In other words, it was so loaded with bacon, ham, pepperoni, sausage, sardines, fried chicken bits and a few other meats that it weighed as much as a small child.

"Mmm, that tastes damn good" he murmured with a mouthful of meat. Oh God, I just realized the sexual innuendos present in that last statement. Please ignore those to the best of your ability. Or just chuckle and continue reading like nothing happened.

"You regenerated very quickly" noted Alan Fitzgerald, biting into a chunk of pepperoni pizza and gulping down a huge swig of rum. "You had more holes in ya than a 50-person orgy."

"Ah, orgies" murmured Lupus Cithara, who was sharing with the priest beside him. "I've written at least fifteen songs about them. Half of which ended in murder. Man, good times."

"Ah, the Crimson Motherfucker in person" said Paula Picassa grinning, fan-girling slightly at him. She was eating a simple cheese pizza decorated with spray cheese as well as shredded cheese and what probably was grinded-up Cheetos. She liked cheese apparently. "I love your lyrical style. So…explicit."

"Dude, watch your ass" warned the Titan. "She'll chew it to pieces and spit it out. She nearly did it to me."

"Duly noted."

The artist grinned. "Ah, you spoiled the fun Dion. I love the original deception and shock."

"Stop calling me that" he snapped aggravated.

"Pretty girl calling you that, I'd recommend shooting for it" advised Saprus, eating into a slice of supreme pizza.

"Please. She just hit on Lupus" argued Dion.

"Well he is kinda famous."

"True. I have about fifty million subscribers" stated Lupus igniting a cigarette. Unlike Taika's hand-rolled ones or Axton's dime-a-dozen ones, these were long and feminine in a way. Combined with the crimson tear tattoos and long black hair, it definitely gave him an eccentric look that suited him nicely. He blew the smoke out of his curled lips, a smell that reeked more of perfume than tobacco.

"What's in those cigarettes?" inquired Saprus.

"Incense" he answered tapping the ash onto a small ash tray in the center of the table. "The smoke helps me think. Or so I'm told."

"Oh, they look tasty" muttered Paula leaning forward and licking her lips.

He harshly shoved her away. "Get your own. I don't share."

"Bastard" she muttered folding her arms.

"Call me what you will, I make more money than you" he said grinning.

"Don't remind me" murmured the Mad Artist. "My exhibits aren't selling so well. God damn Tina to Hell. She's putting me out of business."

"Oi, only I can call the big guy upstairs to damn people!" snapped Alan waving his rosary. "And Tina's cool, mostly. I didn't appreciate the 'house-breaking present' she left me. Nearly tore my arm off from the blast."

"Ah, she gave you a rigged teddy bear?" inquired Dion.

"Yeah. How'd you guess?"

"She did the same to me."

"Huh. I had a panda bear."

"Lucky! I got a regular grizzly bear."

"I bet you like grizzly bears, don't ya?" asked the priest grinning.

"Heh, yeah…wait….why you laughing?"

"Nothing" said Alan chuckling.

"Grizzly bear is a common homosexual term" explained Saprus. "Last time I checked, it refers to large hairy men, usually the dominant in the relationship as well."

"Oh…wait a minute….fuck you Alan!"

The priest burst into laughter. "Maybe I will. I ain't a grizzly, but I am dominant."

He stopped talking because a huge foot-shaped object had smashed into his head and knocked his face down into the table.

"ALAN FITZGERALD I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" roared Gaige, the source of the foot-shaped object, which turned out to be a flying tennis shoe. She had a simple bathrobe wrapped around her body and her hair was wet, not to mention the intense scowl on her face.

The priest looked up and grinned. "What's the matter? You look…flustered."

"Give me back my goddamn towel!"

He chuckled. "Why? I thought Baldemar liked you dripping wet."

"If he was here right now…"

"Yeah, yeah. He'd peel my dick like a banana, I know. But seriously, I don't have your towel."

"Who would steal it then? You stole my bras, drank the entire damn carton of milk, and you put graffiti all over the viewing deck windows!"

"That was you?" snapped Lupus. "Could've sworn Rocko did that with the various rap lyrics. And it even rhymed."

"I did take music appreciation in college" explained Alan. "I didn't appreciate it."

Gaige looked around exasperated. "Okay, so if pedo-dick over here didn't steal it, who did?"

"Hey! Does everyone think I'm a pedophile!?" snapped the priest.

"You dress like a Catholic, your sexuality is incredibly ambiguous, and I found lolicon on your computer" stated Lupus.

"Okay, I resemble that remark" muttered Alan rolling his eyes.

Baldemar popped his head out of his room, revealing that his hair was splayed out in several different directions. His shirt was torn jaggedly down the middle, revealing his toned chest and battle scars. Hooked up to his left wrist were the remains of a handcuff, the other one mysteriously not present. It looked like he had torn the chain in half, as the chain was hanging from the bottom of the cuff.

"Babe, what's going on? I thought you were getting a shower" he said rubbing his eyes. "Well, one where you actually got clean, unlike the last two where I joined you."

Gaige glanced back at him. "I'm trying Knight, but someone took my towel! Get your dick-peeling kit out!"

"Wait, that shit was serious?!" exclaimed Alan with eyes wide in fear.

Baldemar chuckled and held out a purple towel. "I stole it. I wanted you to walk in naked. But you found a bathrobe, so that plan failed I see."

"Pervert" sneered Dion.

"Ah go fuck yourself."

Gaige grinned mischievously. "So you wanted me to walk back naked?"

"Uh-oh" murmured Saprus covering his eyes.

"What? What's she gonna do?" asked the Titan nervously.

Gaige then proceeded to throw off her bathrobe, leaving only one article of clothing: her slippers.

"Here I come Knight!" she yelled sprinting over towards him and tackling him through the door. It quickly shut itself again, to the thanks of pretty much everyone.

"Aaah!" roared Alan covering his eyes. "I can never have sex again!"

"Saprus please give me my brain bleach" instructed Dion.

The infected calmly reached to the side and grabbed a bottle of Captain Morgan Freeman rum. "Drink up."

The Titan began gulping the concoction, the liquid pouring out from the sides of his mouth.

"That image is never going away" he muttered taking a deep breath.

"Give me some of that!" ordered Alan grabbing the bottle. He took an immense chug, trying desperately to seek sanctuary at the bottom of the bottle.

"That was…interesting…" murmured Lupus not at all fazed. He had seen plenty of naked people, so it wasn't that bad for him.

"Think they'd let me join?" inquired Paula glancing at the closed door.

Taika walked down the hallway, smoking a hand-rolled cigarette. "Uh…did I just see Gaige running down the halls naked? That sounds more like something Alan would do."

"Ugh, if he did that I'd have to replace oxygen with alcohol just to forget it" noted Dion.

"Oh fuck you! I look goddamn sexy when I'm naked!" argued Alan.

"Ignoring that comment" continued Taika sitting down. "What's the pizza for?"

"Celebration" explained Saprus. "We finished the first area of the Carnival and decided it was noteworthy enough to buy pizza."

She grabbed a slice of his pizza and bit down into it. "Hmm, pretty good. Glad to see you're all doing fine without me."

"You look better. Is the fever going down?" asked the infected concerned.

"Yeah. I got a biting of stomach aches…and…well…"

Paula took a deep whiff. "Ugh, I know that smell anywhere."

"Yep that's kinda why I stayed."

Saprus glanced at her and his eyes widened. "Oh. Oooooh."

"Eh? I ain't catching" said Dion scratching his head.

"Well you see Dion" began Alan grinning cheekily, "When God made women, he of course ripped one of man's ribs out and formed the first woman out of bone and dirt. He did that so the first man wouldn't be lonely and for the obvious reason that he couldn't self-replicate. In compensation, God made all women get into a state of extreme bitchiness where even approaching them can cause immediate disembowelment or decapitation."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how the story goes" said the Titan.

"Well you get the picture, right?"

"Yeah. I can see why you didn't want to join us Taika."

"Thank you for understanding" said the huntress rubbing the back of her head nervously.

"So what's the plan?" questioned Paula. "I like hanging around and doing nothing as much as the next gal, but I'm getting antsy to go back out and fight."

"Well first we need to figure out where the next area is" elaborated Saprus. "Triassic Gardens is a very evasive location apparently. We're doing scans of the planet, but it'll take a while till the entire thing is scanned. Plus we need intel on the next boss."

"You can get that from me" advised a voice from the side.

They all turned and saw a rather familiar man holding a large cardboard box.

"Doctor Suture" snapped Paula standing up rapidly.

"Please," urged the surgeon gripping his box tighter. "Let me speak."

"Why you here?" inquired Dion. "You want to die again?"

"Well that's the issue," murmured Suture looking away slightly embarrassed.

They all sat silent, waiting for him to continue.

"Well you see…I quit."

Alan burst into laughter. "Holy shit! You only lasted two seasons in the Carnival and you QUIT?!"

"Well I was supposed to stop you," muttered the surgeon. "Unfortunately, that didn't work too well. So I decided to pack my stuff and join the Raiders. I struck a deal with Lilith this morning. I join the Raiders, I pass on all the intelligence I have on the Carnival."

"Seems fair," agreed Saprus.

"Are you CRAZY?!" snapped Paula. "This guy…did…THINGS to me!"

"All he did was feed you a two-month old cocktail," argued Dion.

"Actually it was three months," said Suture blushing. "I forgot that May is the fifth month and not the sixth."

Paula turned dark green. "Ugh…gonna hurl again…"

Alan rapidly reached to the side and grabbed a bucket. Planting it on the ground, he rapidly kicked it at her and slid it perfectly in front of her.

"Thanks," she said before dislodging something that looked like a wad of cheese. Considering how she had put the equivalent of two cheese wheels on the last three slices of pizza, that wasn't too surprising.

"Well despite your teammate's odd stomach issues, are there anything else I need to deal with before I move in?" inquired Suture. "I hate to be rude, but my fingers are aching from not being inside something's torso or abdomen."

"Well there is initiation…" began Alan grinning like a shark.

"Don't be ridiculous," snapped Saprus. "We've never…"

"Shut the fuck up!" exclaimed the priest. "It was gonna be freaking hilarious! I was gonna make him get road-head while being the only person in the car!"

"So you were gonna make him suck his own dick?" questioned Dion. "That takes either extreme flexibility or natural gifts that I'm envious of."

Suture blew a lock of his black hair from his face. "Well unfortunately cunnilingus is not one of my talents. So what rooms are free?"

"The one beside me," stated Lupus glancing at the man. "I soundproofed my walls, mainly to block out the rest of these guys, and I advise you do the same. Considering the experiments you perform, it's probably a wise action."

"Very well," said the surgeon adjusting the box in his arms. "Come on Nurse Katelyn, we have a long day of equipment set-up in front of us."

His nurse assistant walked in, wearing her typical provocative outfit. "Oh, hello Alan Fitzgerald. I presume the cure worked for your condition of osteoperverseness?"

"Oh hello Nurse!" exclaimed Alan grinning mischievously. "Can I get a case of your sweet medicinal loving again?"

"Unfortunately, the Good Doctor needs my help, so I will have to abstain from your…healing."

The priest sighed. "Ah damn. Whatever."

Paula finally quit vomiting and looked around at the table's occupants. "Are we seriously letting this guy live with us?"

"We have a wereskag with mild cannibalistic tendencies, two other Titans with bloodlust, several different eccentric inventors, an old soldier infected with a disease that makes Black Death look like the common cold, and now an immortal pedophiliac priest" argued Lupus. "A bloodthirsty Titan doctor isn't the weirdest thing we've ever had."

"For the last time…I AM NOT A PEDO!" roared Alan.