Monday shuffled around with something new waiting for Jim and Bones on their padds. Apparently - as it was explained in the message received - after a few weeks of classes, cadets were expected to start putting their knowledge into 'practical' situations. Obviously, they didn't start out with simulations. That would be like throwing an infant out in the ocean and hoping it learned how to swim sometime before it drowned. So, instead, they got word problems…goodie.

Each specific question was designed specifically for a track, and not just the track but the field of study particular to the cadet. As Jim was specifically specializing in tactical, his question had to do with a typical scenario whether he should choose plan A or plan B should cliché situation between a Federation ship and Orion war ship crossing paths arise, and please be sure to include the reasoning. If the look on Bones' face was anything to go by when he found his scenario was anything to go by, his question wasn't much better.

Jim had tossed his padd away from him. Cadets had the day to formulate their answers, though Jim didn't see how it could possibly take the entire day. His answer was half formulated in his mind already. If it hadn't been for the fact that he only had another fifteen minutes alone with Bones before he woke Joanna and another fifteen minutes after that until Bones left for his first class of the day, he might have thought about answering it there and then.

As it was he was more interested in feeding his little girl and talking to Bones for the thirty minutes they had before they parted ways. Joanna, Jim noticed, was visibly more exuberant when she realized that Bones was there again. Jim had actually had to shut the bathroom door to get her to brush her teeth, and he barely managed her curly hair, which had actually been inherited from his runaway mother. After she was ready for the day, she followed Bones around, even going so far as to ignore her show.

Bones hadn't minded in the slightest. He held an early morning conversation with her, asking her to repeat her alphabet with an enthusiastic smile on his face. Jo had known her alphabet for a few months now, probably about six, and knew the sounds each letter made. Jim supposed it just never got old, listening to a toddler recite the alphabet. He certainly couldn't keep his own smile from smothering his face when she ran half the letters together into some made up word.

Joanna had been quite upset when Bones had to leave back to his dorms to dress before heading off to his classes. She had run up to the door after it had swished closed, crying for 'popsicle' to come back. Jim had felt bad for his little girl, but he couldn't help the small chuckles that had erupted from his lips when she kept moaning and staring at the door with fat tears running down her cheeks as he assured her that she would see him later.

He smirked to himself as he entered into his last class of the day, his most boring class of the day, Intergalactic Ethics. His only consolation was that he was indeed being seeing Bones afterwards and that Uhura would probably be waiting to assess him. He stepped in through the doorway, looking immediately for his… he felt firm enough in their odd bitching to call her his friend…so yes, his friend.

Uhura was at their normal seating, speaking with the Tellarite that normally sat in front of Jim in his home language. She seemed to be enjoying the conversation, an air of contentment settling around her. Jim loped up to his seat at the end of the row, sliding into it with a contented sigh, even as Glaf gave him a dirty look. He was still unforgiven for that one time he had accidentally kicked the Tellarite in the back of the head.

He turned to Uhura with a pleasant smile as she regarded him curiously.

"You're still here," she said pleasantly.

He shrugged. "Sorry to disappoint. I know you were looking forward to the boredom that would have assaulted you had I dropped out."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, my life would be in ruins without you here to irritate me constantly."

"And yet you were the one who sought me out at the hospital," he said with a smug smile. "C'mon, Uhura, you like me a little bit. You can say it."

A reluctant smile tugged at her features as she turned to face the front of the classroom, where their professor would be joining them in less than two minutes. "I wouldn't go that far, Kirk."

Not out loud maybe, but Jim was feeling pretty wanted since the previous Saturday. He let her have her way, his smug smirk still on his face as he too turned towards the classroom's front. The instructor entered in through her own private entrance attached to her office and began the boring class in much the same way she always did, a boring introduction to the chapters they would be going over. Jim pulled out his padd from his pocket and pulled up his 'Scenario of the Day' problem, as he had decided to call it.

He was a little upset that it didn't take more than thirty minutes to answer, but before he could pout, he received a message from Uhura, N. N. He glanced beside him to see her scrolling through her own padd, actually paying attention to what the professor was saying and making random notes off in the margin of the page she had pulled up. She was, pretty much, pretending like she hadn't just sent him a message over their padds.

He opened the message, distantly taking some satisfaction over the fact that this was the first time they had contacted each other outside verbal communication and even more satisfaction over the fact that she had been the one to send it.

The message asked simply whether or not he had made amends with 'Len.'

He hunkered down into his seat, trying not to smile at the fact that, yes, yes he had and that she was curious enough to ask.

He replied with, 'So, your first name starts with N?'

He had to refrain from snickering when she made a noise of disgust, slapping her padd down on their table. She turned to him with promises of torture flickering in her eyes. He only smiled, no longer smug, but secretive as he gave her a small nod in acknowledgement to her original question. He was surprised when a small smile took her lips as well, and she nodded, before turning her attention back to the teacher.

Obviously, that was all she needed to know.

+ststst+

The next day, after another morning spent with Bones in his company, Jim hung back after his advanced hand-to-hand class with Pike. He had a good thirty minutes until he had to be at his next class and fully planned to spend it harassing his counselor. That was what he did most Tuesdays and Thursdays after their class had finished, though Jim didn't always pester the older man. Actually, most times, Pike regaled him with stories of anything he could think of, from his previous second-in-command, who was apparently beyond being a no-nonsense-woman and closing in on being tyrannically in control, to his time at the Academy with George, and once even a story of how he and the admiral had met.

Today, though, Jim was definitely hassling the captain. After the weekend and the pissy argument the captain and Archer had almost had, Jim just couldn't let it go. He wanted to know if Archer and Pike were seeing each other, and more importantly, how they managed to keep it so under wraps. It had never even crossed his mind to consider the two of them as an item. After all, the second conversation he had ever heard between the two, they had asked why the other wasn't dating. They hadn't seemed to like each other in a way other than platonically.

Jim hummed thoughtfully as they took a seat on the green padded floor. Supposedly they were supposed to be cleaning up, but usually they just flopped down wherever they had been standing when Pike dismissed the other cadets. Alright, well, Jim flopped; Pike folded himself neatly, because he was, quote, old, end quote.

Pike settled on the floor a few feet away from him, his legs folded and his elbows resting on his knees. He raised his eyebrows toward Jim at the hum he had made, curiosity evident in his eyes as he regarded Jim. "Something on your mind, Jim?" he asked.

Jim regarded him, his mind working to figure the chances of him getting the answer from Pike by blunt inquisition. Somehow, they didn't figure that well. Pike wasn't necessarily secretive. The man practically made all of his plans and thoughts and memories available to him, but his personal life, dates and family members, aside from his sister, had never been brought up. Jim honestly wasn't sure how the captain would respond to this probing. Perhaps a roundabout approach would work best.

So, Jim started talking about the class that he helped Pike with. He talked about some of the students that were having problems and the students that were doing really well, and the students that were doing really well but still having problems. Pike looked like he was on to Jim's game, but he spoke with him easily. Slowly but surely, Jim built them up to personal life, telling the captain about how he and Bones were fairing with their relationship, new as it may be. Then, Jim, feeling that he had buttered Pike up, asked, "So what's going on between you and Archer?"

Pike must have been expecting something like this, because his eyes, which had been narrowed throughout their conversation, suddenly widened with understanding. His lips pursed, and he just shook his head. "You know, I'm a little surprised it took you this long to ask."

Jim shrugged. "I was a little too self-absorbed to notice the goings-on of others earlier."

He was man enough to admit that. He wasn't necessarily proud of it, but he knew he had been focusing on himself and how he was going to get Bones to not love him. Now he was fine with letting it come naturally, if it came at all, and he did still have to remind himself that their relationship was not doomed from the start. Hell, Bones made it pretty damn clear that he wasn't going to be letting go of Jim, made it clear that he was scared of losing him. They had a marginally good chance of sticking it through…

He smiled encouragingly to Pike. "So…ya gonna tell me?"

The captain rolled his eyes. "Jon and I…" he paused as if thinking of the best way to describe them. "We're kind of seeing each other." Another pause, then he nodded to himself, content that that was the best way to describe his relationship with the admiral.

"Kind of?" Jim asked after a moment. He understood the premise. Maggie Jay had 'kind of' seen a few men over the course of their friendship, but when she had said it, it had implied that she was having sex with the guy and other than that she tended to forget that they even had names. Somehow, Jim wasn't seeing that kind of relationship between Pike and Archer.

The captain readjusted, leaning back on his hands and regarding Jim curiously. "Is there a particular reason you want to know the details of my admittedly not-so-romantic life? Shouldn't you be focusing more on your new relationship with Dr. McCoy?"

"I can multitask," Jim said offhandedly.

Pike sighed. "Well, what do you want to know?"

He lay down on the floor mats, making himself as comfortable as possible, like Joanna getting ready for a bedtime story. He smiled up at Pike, resting his hands behind his head. "Explain all that you can in the next fifteen minutes," he requested in the form of a demand.

The captain, for a moment, looked like he was sad that Jim didn't have a pillow to rest on, namely because that meant there was no pillow with which to suffocate him. However, he resisted the urge to just strangle him with bare hands. Instead, he gave Jim the basics of their 'friendship with benefits,' which in Jim's opinion was actually just a relationship without chains. Jim had known they were hard pressed to be seen without the other, just from general sightings of the two of them around the campus, but it went beyond that to spending a few nights a week with each other, usually at Pike's house that way the captain could have his coffee. Jim did not ask about their sexual relationship. There were some things that he didn't need to be scarred by.

The only thing that the populous at large would consider 'unorthodox' was the fact that when Pike was off planet they 'saw' other people. Jim didn't know about anyone else…well, he knew of at least one or two other people who had the same opinion as him, but that sounded pretty reasonable. After all, off world missions tended to span anywhere from six months to five years. It would be unfair to ask someone to go that long without, though Jim apparently could go six months without, but five years? That was pushing it.

"So, basically," Jim said, as he pushed himself off of the green flooring, readying to go to his next class. "You are in a relationship with Archer, it's just modified to the careers the two of you have?"

Pike, hoisting himself up and looking every bit like he needed a walker, nodded. "I guess you could say that." Dusting himself off, he regarded Jim patiently. "Has your curiosity been appeased?"

He nodded happily.

The captain smirked. "Good. Now get to class. Story time's over."

It was times like this that Jim sometimes found himself wondering how he went from a family of two, to a growing family close to totaling six in only a month and a half.

+ststst+

Later that same day, Jim sent Bones off to gather Joanna from Sandcastles, and returned to his suite, slowly filling with Bones' clothes and padds, to call Maggie Jay. It had been five days since he had last spoken to her, his message aside. She hadn't returned a message afterward, letting Jim have his space. He figured they had gone long enough without talking. He was still a little irritated, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been before and not enough to keep him from talking to her. So, he entered her computer console's contact number, and took his seat.

He only waited maybe fifteen seconds before her face filled the screen, her red hair up in a sloppy bun and a large t-shirt hanging off her frame. She looked tired, and Jim thought maybe for the first time in their long friendship that he had woken her. When she saw him, her green eyes, bleary with sleep, cleared instantly, and a small smile graced her face. "Jim," she said happily.

He smiled back. "Hey, Maggie."

"Where were you all weekend?" she asked, worry filling her eyes.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. Then with a small, breathy laugh, he told her, "You're not going to believe this."

Her already thin lips disappeared when she heard that. She tilted her head to the side, physically signaling him to expound on why she wouldn't believe his story. Jim didn't hesitate in jumping into the story, knowing they wouldn't have long before they were joined by Bones and their daughter. He told her about going to the bar and the xenophobes that had attacked him. He skimmed over the damage they had done, telling her that he had ended up in the hospital for observation, and he sure as hell didn't tell her about the doctor that had screwed up his medication, nearly killing him in the process.

He left out the part about Uhura, but told her about Bones' and his conversation and implied assertion that they were seeing each other again, watching in delight as she pieced the clues together and that same maniacal smile took over her face. She listened quietly, her facial features showing all that she had to say, from her unhappiness with the doctors to her excitement that he and Bones were back together.

"Wow," she said, leaning back in her own chair. "That really is…" A burst of laughter escaped her lips. "That could only happen to you Jim."

Jim nodded along to her laughter, his smile still on his lips. He didn't ask for her to apologize. Hell, he couldn't apologize half the time and he admitted that she had only been trying to help, even though there was a big difference between tough love and shoving someone in front of an emotional train. Talking to her now, he felt most of his irritation drain away from him. They were back to being themselves again, and it was easy to just let go of her transgressions.

"So, where are they now?" she asked, looking around in the small area she could see behind him as if they had just faded into the woodwork.

"Oh, Bones is picking up Jo from daycare. They should be here in another ten minutes or so," he said after a quick glance at the chronometer. He was already planning on keeping her on the line so that Joanna could talk to her for a while. In the mean time, he inquired as to how she was doing with her new doctor friend.

"Oh, Nick's fine," she replied with a small sigh that denoted that she was unsurprisingly getting bored with him. "Apparently, he wasn't prepared to deal with my moodiness this weekend. You know, I've never actually been in an argument with you that I couldn't just pester you into liking me again. It did bad things to me, Jim. Bad things."

He scoffed. "I never stopped liking you, Maggie Jay. I just…I wasn't ready to talk to you." He shrugged, somewhat apologetically, but mostly in a way that stated that was just how it went. "And if he can't deal with you when you're moody, he probably shouldn't be following you around at all. Your mood-swings, predictable as they might be, still aren't pretty when they do occur."

She laughed. "And you would know, you poor, tortured man. I don't know how you managed me for three years."

"I think I was actually the worse one to be around," he replied with a smile. "And you're still better than Winona."

Rolling her eyes, her lips disappeared once more. "Everyone is better than Winona," she told him, her eyes settling on him with meaning and just the slightest glimmer of guilt. And that was her apology, all they would ever say on the matter again.

Jim nodded, and she mimicked him, understanding passing between the two of them.

Then, Maggie Jay shifted the conversation again. "Speaking of Kirks, your brother called me on Saturday. You forgot to tell him you had moved. I checked your old console and you have a message and two transmissions from him."

Jim's brows shot up. "That's a lot of attempted contacts," he said with amazement. "I talked to him back in July."

Jim and Sam only talked every three to four months, having little to nothing in common, but unwilling to lose that last person of blood relation. Their grandparents were dead, and Winona was just as good as. Even though their visual transmissions were sometimes stilted, and their messages to each other were short, they were all they had left of their family, all they claimed to have left of their family.

She nodded. "Yes, for his birthday. He told me."

"Well, what did he want?"

"For me to tell you to call him as soon as possible."

Jim rolled his eyes. "I know you read my messages. What's this about?"

She had the good graces to look affronted. "I don't always read your mail. You don't rule my every breathing thought." She paused at his skeptical look. Then with a grudging tone in her voice, she gave in and admitted that she had gone through his messages after Sam had called. "He's getting married apparently. He wanted to tell you the date so that you and Joanna could come and everyone would have a chance to meet properly. He's getting married in spring sometime. You should still call him and let him know your new contact information."

"Yeah, I'll do that, Maggie Jay," he said, momentarily distracted by the idea that Sam, his brother, was getting married, had found someone who could put up with him long enough to decide to get married. Not that Sam was a bad guy, but he tended to have even worse antisocial tendencies than Jim had, and he didn't have a kid to use as an excuse. He was bordering on being a hermit, preferring to study his science texts and journals rather than even go shopping.

When last Jim had talked to him in July, he was ungodly thin and looked unkempt. He had made no mention of having met a woman or even having left the house in the previous two weeks before the call had been made. Where the hell had he met a woman and why had she decided to put up with that?

The door opened off to Jim's right, allowing the sound of his eagerly chattering Joanna and placating Bones to reach his ears and by proxy, Maggie Jay's.

"…but th' ball was'n th' boy's it was…it was th' doggie's and th' doggie was sad when th' boy took it 'way…" Joanna was talking quickly and her words were running together, which was probably why Bones could only manage an 'uh huh' every so often.

He heard Joanna's bag as well as the unmistakable sound of Bones' heavier medical kit being settled just next to it.

"Jim, we're home," Bones called, just over the unceasing chatter of their daughter. Some part of Jim worried that Bones was already calling his suite home, despite knowing he probably called it that for Joanna. It worried him because he liked the sound of it, liked hearing Bones say that.

He left it for another time, choosing instead to call out for Joanna. "Jo-bear, Ms. McCurdy is on the screen."

The story stopped instantaneously and small, but loud footsteps thundered the short distance from the door around the small partition between the entrance and the living area. She ran up to him, crawling into his lap to look at the woman on the computer screen, yelling, "Ms. 'Curdy!"

Jim held her loosely, his hand steadying her as she wiggled around, looking just moments away from tumbling onto the floor. Bones paid her a salutation, giving her a pleasant enough smile and a friendly wave. He nodded to Jim as well, before he moved off into the bedroom they were currently sharing to change from his red over-shirt into a t-shirt, which, as Jim had discovered, was usually the first thing he did when he was 'finished' with the day. Jim was pretty sure he had smiled in welcome, but with his brother hovering at the back of his mind, he wasn't sure.

+ststst+

Wednesday he sent his brother a message with his new coordinates and contact information. He also asked Sam not to call just yet. That he would call a little later in the month after a few, admittedly, made up problems died down. Mainly, he just wanted some time to think before they spoke. He didn't know why he had to think so hard over any of this.

Yes, Sam was getting married, but that was no sin. Lots of people got married every day, and his brother should, by no means, be excluded just because he was a little withdrawn. Even the length of time within which Jim estimated they had been dating was better than some. He had heard stories of people who had married after only having known each other for six hours. He supposed Sam had the capacity to woo someone in just a week. Jim was almost sure it was a Kirk charm.

However, Maggie Jay had said that Sam wanted to meet, and that was what Jim deduced was really the problem of all of this. He hadn't seen his brother since he was fifteen. For that brief week before he had demanded that he was fine, Tarsus hadn't ruined him, and that Sam could go back to wherever it was that he had run off to when he had run away a year beforehand. Now, of course, he knew that Sam had gone to New York, where he had lived for close to nine years now. He wasn't sure what to do with the idea Sam wanted to see him, really see him now that they were both somewhat stable.

Jim had been fine to live the rest of their lives as they had been doing; only contacting each other every four months. He thought they were doing well, just like that. They never argued. When they spoke there was always something new to speak of, even if they hadn't always spoken that well to each other. Jim had been quite fine to just go on like that, but he couldn't in good conscience turn down Sam's request to attend his wedding, not without feeling exactly like their mother. And he did want to meet his brother's significant other, make sure she was good for him.

He sighed rubbing his hand over his face. He felt his newest tension headache pulsing behind his eyes, having started Wednesday and progressed all the way into Thursday. It was damn near taking on migraine proportions and his only thanks were due to the fact that the day was nearly over.

He sat on the couch, trying his best to keep the symptoms to himself as Bones put their daughter to bed for the night. Ten o'clock again for the third night running, Jim was pleased to note. Perhaps by the end of the semester they could have her on a regular toddler's schedule and have her to bed by eight. He didn't hold his breath, but it was a nice thought. Jim also hoped that by the semester end he could get her to eat a carrot again.

In his hand, he held a padd containing all of Harrigan's notes and problems. They had met for his tutoring, as scheduled, in the library around five. Bones had once again been sent to gather Joanna and had been alone with her for most of the night. Jim was trying to pinpoint a lot of the errors that Henry had made to better get a grasp on what he would have to approach and more importantly how he would approach them.

He was only now getting to this due to the fact that most of their short hour in the library had been spent with Jim chatting and Henry slowly adding in his own tidbits of information. Towards the end, the cakette had enough ease to bring up Jim's previous weekend, apparently having gained respect for Jim adequate to offer his service should anyone ever try to pull that shit again. Jim was, to say the least, flattered, but when he spoke of such flattery, the cakette only said it would be too difficult to find a new tutor. Jim was beginning to think that he couldn't talk to people who weren't verbally abusive towards him.

He sighed again, squeezing his eyes shut as the ache gave a particularly sharp throb and tilting his head back to rest against the back of the couch. His headache was getting so bad he had almost been reduced to lying down in bed the second he came through the door, but the moment he had seen Joanna running toward him he just couldn't bear to do that. So, instead, he had suffered in silence, playing a few rounds of hide-and-go-seek with her, where she was always hiding and he was seeking while Bones did some work for the professor he was TAing with.

He heard Bones, before he settled down on the couch beside him. The holoscreen, which had been blaring as background screeching while Jim was looking over Henry's notes, was switched off and Jim just barely managed to peel his eyelids up again. What met his sight was the concerned gaze of Bones, mixed with irritation.

"You have these headaches often?" he asked gruffly.

Jim swallowed, looking away from the doctor, who of course would have known that he had a headache; why had he even pretended? The ceiling was too bright, sterile white and glaring artificial light at him. Shaking his head dismissively, he answered, "It's nothing, Bones. It'll go away when I sleep."

"You slept yesterday and it's still here."

Well, shit! Caught again.

He closed his eyes against the glare of the white ceiling tiles. "Don't worry about it. They're just tension headaches. I get them when I'm feeling stressed."

He wasn't surprised when Bones grabbed the padd out of his hand, tossing it gently onto the coffee table or when the lights were dimmed to thirty percent. He was surprised when he was bodily pulled from his position against the couch and turned to relax against Bones' chest, warm and inviting even through layers of their shirts. He felt Bones' warm fingers press against his temples, massaging lightly. Jim groaned, caught somewhere between pain and relief and all but melted against the doctor.

He felt Bones exhale against his ear. "What's got you so stressed, Jim?"

For probably the first time ever in his entire life, Jim didn't hesitate to open up about his life. He cleared his throat, eyes still shut and told Bones slowly, "I have a brother and he's getting married. Rub harder."

The pressure on his temples increased marginally. "I fail to see the stressor in this. Care to explain?"

"He wants me to go to the wedding and I haven't seen him since I was fifteen."

A few minutes passed where Bones just continued to massage his scalp and it was nice. Jim almost felt the need to fall asleep, but he knew they weren't finished just yet.

"Fifteen," the doctor said after their long pause. "That's eight years you haven't seen each other. Any particular reason?"

Drifting in a comfortable haze, Jim didn't care to really answer, but he didn't care to really lie. "It's a long story, Bones. We just…we had a rocky childhood. Lotsa shit just…just happened. We've never really recovered from it all." He cleared his throat. "Can we talk about it another night?"

"Sure, Jim."

Jim felt his headache releasing after so long of Bones' ministrations, but he couldn't refrain from wiggling just a little. He smirked a Bones' breathing hitched. "Y'know," he said a little smugly. "I've heard sex is a great way to relieve headaches."

His teeth caught the curve of Jim's ear in a playful nip. "You think you can be quiet?"

Jim laughed, but stood from the couch, turning to see Bones looking up at him with a quirked brow.

"I think I have the right incentive," Jim said quietly, pulling the doctor from the couch and tugging them chest to chest. Grasping the back of Bones' head, he brought their lips together, slowly dragging them toward their bedroom.

+ststst+

(i hope you dance)

InnocentGuilt