'Tomorrow at dawn'.
The three words no one should have to hear. In his time as General he had uttered those words seventeen times. He had the blood of a lot more than seventeen people on his hands, but to keep a man chained in the night with the knowledge that he would never see another sunset was the worst torture Iroh could think of. He didn't know if suffering the same fate was irony or some kind of sick joke. After seven years he was hoping that karma would pass him by entirely. He had to pay for that hubris.
His chains were taut around his limbs. The guards were taking no second chances this time. Iroh had long since dismissed the possibility of a second chance, and spent his last night meditatively. He was determined from the moment he left the spirit world to enjoy life as much as he could, to live it for the sake of living. And he had only a few hours in a chained cell left to live it in. He was ready to move on, and had lost the urge to continue going. He was ready to be with his son again, to be with all those who had passed, including those seventeen people he put to death. He wanted earnestly to join with the rest of life, to let his experiences drift amongst them, and to merge with something greater than himself, something happier, something filled with laughter and the joy of life.
Iroh looked up to see the door opening, and hoped that it was his son who had come to lead the way. When in the darkness he saw the black suit and the blue, fanged mask, he was sorely disappointed, "I thought you had left that mask behind you, Prince Zuko. But then I never really knew you, did I?"
"I incapacitated the guards, but they won't be out for long," the Blue Spirit brought his broad-swords down and cut off Iroh's restraints with ease, slashing at the wrist chains, twirling the swords downward and stabbing at the ankle chains. Iroh never winced, or budged a muscle except the arms dropping down at his sides, and continued staring at the masked man. The Blue Spirit pointed towards the door, "I can get you out via the side gate, but we'll have to be quick before anyone suspects anything."
"If you're going to make a fool of yourself, at least have the decency to take that thing off," Iroh spoke coolly and monosyllabically. The Blue Spirit heaved a large sigh and complied with the old man's request.
"Uncle, we don't have time for this," Zuko implored, meeting Iroh's eyes in the dark.
"I don't know about you but I've got until dawn," Iroh crossed his arms, "so, my brave, fearless, honourable nephew, what brings you all the way down here when everything you want is yours to have upstairs?"
"I just want to set things right…" Zuko's gaze drifted away from his uncle's and settled on the floor of the cell.
"Bit late now, isn't it?" Iroh berated his nephew, "or do you suppose you can bring the Avatar back to life?"
"You and I both know the Avatar is alive," Zuko looked back at Iroh pleadingly, "you saw what the Waterbender was capable of. She must have been able to heal him."
"You're in a better position to think that than I," Iroh was adamant, "so now you're clinging to delusions out of guilt. Forgive me if I don't feel pity for your plight. You made your choice, now accept the consequences!"
"You didn't give me a choice…" Zuko turned back to the wall.
"What are you talking about?" Iroh challenged, "everyone can make a choice, Prince Zuko!"
"I saw it in the way you looked at me last night," Zuko continued, "you've given me guidance, shown me a path, but it was a path I didn't want. And then you look into my eyes like…you're looking for something that isn't there."
Iroh looked at Zuko disapprovingly, tired of arguing with a brick wall, and turned to side in disappointment. He had tried so hard with Zuko, trying to show him an alternative that the boy had spat in his face. It pained him to think of it, "to think I once thought of you as my son…"
"I'm not your son!" Zuko turned to Iroh and screamed with a passion that shocked the former general. Zuko calmed himself only slightly before continuing, "I never was! I can't be Lu Ten, Uncle. I can't be the loyal and dutiful son…not to my father or to you! I tried, Uncle, but I couldn't go on just accepting life as it was, waiting tables, attending to your needs, taking each day as it went. That's not what I wanted to do! You kept telling me that my future was up to me, but you never wanted me to do what I wanted! …all you wanted was your son back. And I'm sorry, Uncle. I'm sorry I wasn't able to become your loyal and dutiful son. I'm sorry I can't be a loyal and dutiful son to anyone. But that's not me. And I'm just going to have to live with that."
Iroh was struck by the force of Zuko's anger, and his self-doubt. He wanted to say that he didn't want Zuko to be the same as Lu Ten, that all he wanted was for Zuko to be true to himself. He wanted to argue that Zuko was mistaken and that he just hadn't tried hard enough. But, looking back at his own actions, at his own thoughts, Iroh knew Zuko was right. He had been leading the young prince down a road that wasn't his. Iroh wanted Lu Ten back so badly he had formed a surrogate in his place. And Zuko had rejected this. His anger at the boy lifted, his choice made more sense, and now after seeing both worlds Zuko was finally making a choice of his own. Iroh simply asked, "why are you freeing me?"
Zuko's face warmed as Iroh's softened, "because I don't think trying to be a father again is something someone should die for."
Zuko turned out of the cell and put his mask back on. The Blue Spirit looked back at Iroh and beckoned him out, saying "I can take you as far as outside the city. After that, you're going to have to make it on your own. You can use your contacts, and I trust your skills but…be careful."
Iroh, pausing briefly, walked forward out of the cell and placed a hand on the Blue Spirit's shoulder, looking straight into that black pair of eyes, "you're not my son, Zuko. But I hope at least I have opened the way for you to take whatever path you want to take. I may not be your father, and I know things have been strained between us, but…I want you to know I feel proud of you. For the man that you are. Not for whatever anyone else…even I…want you to be. I may not have said that enough, and I'm sorry I didn't…"
"It's fine, Uncle," the Blue Spirit assuaged, "I have done things I'm not proud of, and you shouldn't have to feel responsibility for my own mistakes. They're my mistakes, and I have to face them on my own. I tried to do that once…but I didn't know how. I hope now I'll have a better chance. And I have you to thank for that, Uncle. I have to thank you for trusting me despite all I've done. That's more than any father should do…"
"I'll be the judge of that, young Zuko," Iroh felt the need for a lightening of the mood, "but we have tough times ahead for both of us, and I hope for the sake of the world that you're right about the Avatar."
"He is alive, and you know it too," the Blue Spirit asserted, "I know the days ahead will be tough. I just hope the next we meet, I won't need this mask."
The air between the two of them crackled with shock when a tired groan drifted down the length of the corridor of the dungeon. Iroh turned quickly to see that one of the incapacitated red-uniformed guards was rising out of his stupor to look up the length of the cells towards them. Before the soldier registered their presence, however, a small wooden object flew at high speed down the dreary corridor and hit the guard square in the forehead, knocking him unconscious. Iroh turned to see the Blue Spirit's hand out-stretched in the direction of the guard, before the masked man turned back to the former general.
"I think that's enough heart-to-heart talk for now," the Blue Spirit recommended.
"I entirely agree," Iroh concurred, and began running alongside the blue-masked stranger that his nephew had transformed into, who was already darting at speed in the opposite direction from the guard.
They left the dungeon behind them. It was a strange omen…on the night marking the First Night of Summer, the time when the element of Fire reaches its peak, the Fire Nation abruptly acquired two new enemies. The celebrations continued in the square, unawares, and the Blue Spirit guided the wizened former general into the darkness away from the brilliantly-lit city.
Light emerged early through the rafters of the Northern Air Temple, the dust in the air gently swirling and falling high above near the ceiling, illuminated by the light that peeked inside the large chamber with some difficulty, but making it very clear that it was morning, it was a clear, hot day outside and that it was time to get up and start moving.
Katara had been looking up and watching the light drift across the high walls with her head resting on her crossed arms. Occasionally she looked over to the sleeping figure of the 12-year-old fuzzy-haired child that slept soundly in the sleeping bag beside them. There were beds a-plenty elsewhere in the Air Temple, but she had the idea of letting them all sleep in the presence of Appa, to let the two of them spend the night near each other. Sokka was adamant about sleeping in a comfy bed for once in his life, and Toph felt like she deserved some personal space, leaving Katara to stay with Aang for the night. Momo slept soundly close to the boy's rest, and seemed to be breathing in time with Appa. She wondered briefly about how the two animals would handle separation, but quickly decided that was beside the point.
Katara had gotten used to watching Aang sleep, especially during the two nerve-wracking weeks wondering if the next time the boy drew breath would be his last. Some traces of that worry still remained. She had watched him sleep before, on those preciously few mornings when Aang's energy was insufficient to get him up early in the mornings. She always noticed that his sleep was frequently restless, filled with vague mumbles and whimpers, interspersed with the odd wistful smile and sudden jump, like he was alternating between nightmares of his past and penguin-sledding. This morning he slept as soundly as a mouse, no expression crossing his face except calm detachment. All their efforts to make him feel alive yesterday seemed to be dissipating in his sleep.
But his seeming contentment made Katara pause for thought about whether it was right to try to change Aang back into what he was before. This was the Avatar, the last hope for all the world, and all she was thinking of was the cute boy he was before. She thought about how selfish that was, when the fate of the world was at stake. But Aang's appearance was a breath of fresh air in this world wracked by conflict, his happiness and enthusiasm something she felt she desperately needed in her life, and the lives of everyone Aang touched. It wasn't only being the Avatar, the Last Airbender, master of all four elements, that showed Katara how special he was. She knew he was special before that, for different reasons. Aang's entire being was what the world needed. And to see that drift away was heartbreaking. If the City of Lieu couldn't spark that light in Aang's soul, what could?
Sparking the light…
"Well Katara, out of devotion and a sense of duty I cut short my precious sleeping time in order to get an early start," Sokka, appearing at the large doorway that led out of the straw-matted hall with Toph and a backpack nearby, interrupted Katara's thoughts, "the least you could do is actually get up."
"Sorry!" Katara kicked off her sleeping bag and stood up, dusting herself off, "I was just making sure Aang was oka-"
Katara interrupted herself when she stood up to see that Aang was wide awake, kneeling beside Appa with a satchel around his shoulder and a contented smile, stroking Momo awake. Momo was yawning himself awake and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. While Katara was occupied with her thoughts earlier, Aang had awoken and gotten himself ready…and she hadn't even noticed. Katara noticed as Aang was kneeling down that his shirt lifted up to reveal his back. She could see part of the massive scar on Aang's back, standing out fiercely along the length of his spine.
"He feels fine to me," Toph added her own critique, "now let's get moving. It's been ages since I've used these legs…"
Aang had picked Momo up and launched him into the air, sensing that the little critter wanted to fly. Toph held out an arm for the winged lemur to latch onto, and Momo proceeded to climb up her arm to perch on Toph's shoulder, beginning to clean himself with his tongue. Aang knelt down to pick up a backpack lying packed on the ground with both hands and handed it to Katara. The Waterbender took the backpack absent-mindedly, still concerned about the red-clothed boy. Still looking at Aang, she knelt down to roll up the sleeping bag and place it on the backpack.
"Are you sure you want to leave so soon?" Katara asked of Aang, "we've stayed for barely a night and we're leaving again, to places that could be really dangerous. It would be alright if you wanted to wait a while."
"We don't have much time as it is," Aang replied calmly, "it's not like I want to leave, but right now the arrival of Sozin's comet can be measured in days. The sooner we find a Firebending teacher, the sooner I can unlock the Avatar State and the sooner we'll be able to be at peace again. I know you're concerned, but you don't need to worry about me…"
"Yeah, it'll be easy!" Sokka stretched his arms above his head and smiled, "just you wait, we'll be back here in these nice, comfy beds with Jeong Jeong in tow before the week is out!"
Katara had finished fastening the sleeping bag and was loading the backpack onto her shoulders, giving a foul glance in Sokka's direction, "knowing how your predictions turn out, we'll be tied to poles about to be burnt alive before the week is out."
"There's only room for one cynic on this crew, sugar queen," Toph crossed her arms. She abruptly uncrossed them and turned around, sensing the approach of two people who duly appeared outside the doorway. The Mechanist and the Earth King, the latter of which was struggling forward inside his dressing gown.
"Oh good, you're awake," the Mechanist put his hands together in genuine happiness, "Teo's part of the early morning patrol, so I'm sorry he couldn't see you off. But I can show you a secret way out of the Air Temple that will take you out of the mountains past the gaze of the Fire Nation watchtowers. They watch all the other passages like halks."
"Kuei!" Aang stepped forward with a smile before bowing respectfully, "Your Majesty. I'm glad you came to see us off."
"I felt it my duty as ruler of the Earth Kingdom to wish you all success on this vital endeavour," Kuei smiled in return before blushing, "I…apologize for my attire. I'm not used to getting up this early in the mornings. Or dressing myself for that matter."
"Well…think of them as valuable life skills!" Sokka advised cheerfully. Kuei didn't take the advice with much grace until he lightened up and placed a hand on Sokka's shoulder.
"You know, Warrior Sokka, you're absolutely correct," Kuei smiled warmly, and looked at all of the group admirably, "you have shown me many things in the past few weeks that I didn't even know existed. And to know there's so much of my own kingdom I know so little about. The places, the people, the cruelties and the kindness…I honestly don't know how to thank you all. It may have taken my being deposed to see all these things, but when I consider what I've witnessed…it's probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. If...no, when…I reclaim my throne, one thing I will promise is to see every part of this kingdom. I don't want to cower behind walls for the rest of my life when there's so much that's wonderful and terrible beyond it. I want to know it all now, and how to make it better. If I'm going to be useful to you at all, I'm going to be useful in making my Kingdom a better place for all its people. You have my eternal gratitude, Warrior Sokka, Master Katara, Master Toph and…Avatar."
"Don't forget Momo," Katara joked, and Momo snapped his head around while gripping Toph's shoulder, hoping for some form of honour. Preferably in fruit form. The King simply laughed, and then looked down, knowing the seriousness of the task ahead.
"You have the weight of the world on all your shoulders…it's more than people your age should have," the King spoke, "I became King when I was only a child. I know the feeling of responsibility placed on shoulders too young. But we never have a choice in such things. And, seeing how you have all managed…I know you'll succeed."
"Thank you, Your Majesty," Aang bowed again, before taking a small, white object out of his pocket, "and since we're talking about responsibility…I'm not sure how to say this…I was wondering if you could take good care of Appa while we're gone? This whistle can only be heard by him, so if he ever decides to go wandering, you can use this to bring him back. He's a pretty heavy eater…but I guess that's something you two can have in common."
Kuei looked down at the bison whistle and felt taken aback at the trust this boy showed in him, "I'm sorry. I feel honoured to be trusted in this way but…I can't accept this. He's your bison, after all, I can't presume to claim ownership over him."
"Neither do I," Aang shrugged, placing the whistle in the King's hands, "he's my best friend. While he's here, I hope he can be yours," Aang smiled, and looked back at the giant flying bison, rising gradually out of his slumber. The boy walked over and padded his giant brow, "and you…you take of yourself, okay boy?"
Appa grunted, and shook his head from side to side to get the annoying thing off his face. Aang took his hand off very reluctantly, and knelt down to look in the bison's eye. The others watched, knowing this was something they couldn't intrude in.
"I don't know how I look in your eyes, but I must look like something terrible," Aang spoke gently to the creature, "I know I'm not the boy you grew up with, and I know you fear what I'm becoming. I…I fear it too."
Katara held her hands together and tried as hard as she could not to tear up. The small red figure, looking so vulnerable next to the gentle colossus, looked down at the straw that was laid patchily on the floor of the hall and inside himself, both at once.
"I don't know how long I'll be gone for, but I hope it won't be too long," Aang looked back up into the bison's eye, "then we can get back to normal, the two of us. Or as normal as we can get in this crazy world. I'll have tons of stories to tell you…and who knows, maybe you'll have stories of your own too. I'll have to trust Kuei to tell them to me, though. He's going to take good care of you. And Teo and his father and all the Gliders here. I know you'll miss me. I know you miss me right now. I just want you to know…we've been separated so many times, and we've sought each other every time. I know, this time, I'm leaving you behind because I'm choosing to. But…I'll never stop missing you. Whatever you think of me, I'll never stop loving you, boy."
Aang leant forward to hug the beast, who snapped his eye open in surprise. But gradually, and gently, the intrusion faded away, and the eye gradually closed again. The bison made no effort to shake Aang off, and nuzzled into the small boy. Appa understood. He didn't know what he was understanding, but he understood. Katara could see a small tear, just one, running down Aang's face.
Then they parted, and Aang silently stepped back. Katara placed a hand on the boy's frayed shoulder, and he made no effort to resist.
"Come, before the Fire Nation begin their patrols," the Mechanist began walking out of the hall and, one by one, the group followed behind. Toph, with Momo still on her shoulder, stayed behind briefly to wish the Earth King well.
"Well, Your Highness, here's hoping you'll be safe here while we're gone, and back on your throne in no time," Toph smirked deviously, "and if you ever feel like you're trapped and want to break out and cause havoc, don't hesitate. Trust me, you'll feel like a new man afterwards."
"Thank you…I think," the Earth King bowed to the strange blind girl, and she left with Momo purring in tow. For a peculiar moment he thought he saw the winged lemur bow before disappearing out of the doorway. Kuei, sighing deeply in his new-found isolation, wandered over to the giant bison and plonked himself down beside the beast, sidling up and accommodating himself with the behemoth, "looks like we'll be spending a long time together…do you like nuts?"
Appa grunted a grunt that echoed around the light-drenched hall. Whether it meant 'yes' or 'no' Kuei couldn't tell, but he was filled with the desire to make new friends.
To Be Continued…
Avatar: The Last Airbender Concept and Characters © Nickelodeon 2005-06