Part IV
"Today," drawled Professor Snape with a voice of black silk, "we will be learning about a subject that is related – however indirectly – to Potions."
Double Potions with the Gryffindors seems to happen too often, Arthur thought as his quill jotted away on a piece of parchment. Over at the Gryffindor side of the room, Alfred was trying to fold a ninja star.
"Jones!" Snape barked, causing the American to quickly hide his handiwork underneath the table. "What can you tell the class about Alchemy?"
Alfred blinked. "Uh," he stammered, pulling himself into an upright position. "Is it anything like chemistry?"
Arthur and the other Slytherins snickered as Snape glared at the American.
"Incorrect," the Potions master snapped. "Kirkland?" He turned to Arthur, who smirked.
"Alchemy is the art of turning ordinary metals into gold."
"Exactly. Ten points to Slytherin."
Alfred looked grumpy at that.
"Alchemy is a very dangerous art," Snape continued. "The knowledge an alchemist works with is, most of the time, purely hypothetical. You do not know what will happen if you combine two potions and if you try there is always a very good chance that you will die."
The class was deathly silent; the gurgling of the cauldrons was almost unbearable.
"The end product of a successful alchemist is a most curious object called the Philosopher's Stone. Can anyone tell me a property of the Philosopher's Stone?"
Arthur's hand shot up.
"Anyone except for Mr. Kirkland? Ah. Mr. Jones." Professor Snape smirked and pointed at Alfred, who had hesitantly raised his hand. "Do care to inform us of one property of the Stone."
"Uh, it will turn ordinary stuff into gold?"
"Incorrect."
"But Artie said...
"Mr. Kirkland said that the principle of Alchemy is to turn ordinary metals into gold, Mr. Jones. You are confusing the Stone with the Midas Touch." Snape's smirk evolved into a sneer. "Five points from Gryffindor."
Alfred looked furious.
"The Stone," Snape continued, "is indeed capable of turning any metal into the purest of gold. It also makes something called the Elixir of Life – Mr. Bonnefois, stop fondling Miss Desmarais and pay attention!"
The entire class turned to look at Francis and Madeline. Francis's hands quickly retracted; Madeline blushed furiously. They quickly looked away from each other.
"Mr. Bonnefois, do tell us what the Elixir of Life does."
Francis coughed lightly and sat up. "Euh... l'Élixir de la Vie is a substance that gives you eternal life."
"Correct, in essentials," Snape said as he strode to the blackboard and scrawled 'Elixir of Life' across the top. "The Elixir of Life does not grant immortality on just one drink – to attain immortality with the Elixir, one must take it indefinitely."
Alfred suddenly frowned and raised his hand. "Professor?" he asked.
"What do you want?" spat Snape, whirling around to face Alfred.
"Does the Stone also facilitate resurrection?"
Snape stopped dead in his tracks and stared at him, saying nothing.
"What kind of question was that?" Arthur demanded after class as he and Alfred headed up the stairs towards the Great Hall for lunch; Francis and Nataliya were following a little ways away.
Alfred shrugged. "Tiffany claimed that she once revived a stillborn baby with one," he replied.
"How?"
"She claimed to have drawn a circle on the floor with chalk and placed the Stones –"
"Stones? As in the plural?"
"Yeah?"
"Then she's lying," Arthur said shortly as they entered the Great Hall. "There is only one Philosopher's Stone in the world, and your insane cousin is not its owner."
Saturday evening found Alfred and Arthur lingering in the Great Hall after dinner. "I can't believe I agreed to go exploring with you," Arthur complained.
"It'll be fun!" Alfred exclaimed happily.
Hermione passed by them. "I'm sorry, but I can't help but hear that you two intend on exploring the third-floor corridor," she said bossily. "I don't think you should."
"I don't think you should poke your nose into other people's business," Arthur replied.
She huffed at him and left.
"Hermione's actually a nice person once you get past her bossiness," Alfred remarked as they left the Great Hall.
"I know that, but our little trip – which is your entire fault, by the way – is none of her business, really."
Alfred laughed. "You know what? She reminds me of you. Stuffy, snobby, bossy, and bookish."
"Hey!" Arthur smacked his arm.
"Oh, and not to mention very high-strung," Alfred carried on, oblivious to the rising colour in Arthur's cheeks. "But it's like... once you get past the outside, you see this really nice person inside, y'know? Hermione's like that. And so are you."
Arthur stopped dead in his tracks, his heart pounding so hard he was nearly deafened by the sound. "Wh-wh-what?" he stammered.
Did Alfred just call me nice?
The American, however, didn't notice the reaction and laughed. "Stop gaping like that, Artie! We've got a corridor to explore!" And with that, he was dashing up the stairs that led to the third-floor corridor; Arthur charged after him. The stairs weren't going to stay in that spot forever, after all.
The Charms corridor was dark and devoid of people. "Lumos," Arthur whispered, lighting up his wand. Alfred did the same. They walked down the corridor all the way to the end, where there was a door.
"It's locked," Alfred said quietly. Arthur stared at the door oddly.
"Funny, I think I've seen this before," he said, taking his wand and tapping at the lock. "Alohomora!"
The door opened and they entered, closing it behind them.
"Whaddya suppose is in here that is so dangerous?" Alfred asked, waving his wand about. The light skimmed over walls, over ceiling, over...
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT?" Arthur shrieked, grabbing Alfred's arm and pointing his own wand at something in the darkness.
"What?" Alfred asked, following the beam of light. "It's just a dog."
"IT'S NOT JUST A DOG, YOU GIT! IT'S A GIANT THREE-HEADED DOG!" Arthur backed against the door, even as the... thing blinked its six eyes and suddenly stared at them, eyes rolling, mouth drooling.
It started to growl; Alfred paled. "Artie, I think I know why this corridor is off-limits!" he squeaked.
"No, really?" Arthur yelled back sarcastically, even as he looked down at the dog's monstrous feet and noticed something odd. It was standing on something – a trapdoor. "Hey, Alfred, look down!"
Alfred looked at the floor. "I don't see – is that a trapdoor?"
"Yes, yes! The dog's guarding something! Now let's get the hell out of here before we become dog chow!" Arthur wrenched the door open and the two boys piled out of it –
– Right at the feet of Mrs. Norris. They looked up. There was Filch, grinning at them evilly.
"My, my. What have we here?" he asked. "Trying to sneak into the third-floor corridor, are we?"
Arthur and Alfred had identical 'oh bloody hell' looks on their faces.