Chapter Eleven

Hellooo ;)

Thank you guys for the feedback. I guess that chapter went well overall. I'm sorry if some of you read that before going to school though xd

Here's chapter eleven.

( • ~ • )

I spent the next three days in the hospital, placed on seventy-two hour suicide watch because of my wrists. Fun.

Natsu, Lisanna, and Levy tried to visit me, but I told the nurse that I didn't want to see anyone so they haven't let them enter the room, albeit reluctantly. The nurse I've known since I was little was trying to convince me to go to rehab since my self-harming relapsed, but I'm very determined to say no. I've been there once, and I don't want to go there again.

The said nurse walked in and smiled at me, which I returned. "Good evening, Lucy. How are you feeling?" She had a very thick British accent that I found pretty endearing.

"Hey, Melinda. I'm doing okay."

"I know that you are not going to be happy with what I am about to say, but I have a proposal for you." I nodded slowly with narrowed eyes. "Since you are adamant on not going to the rehabilitation center, I want to suggest that you start visiting your therapist again."

I started to protest, but she raised her hand for me to stop and walked over to my bed, sitting in the chair next to it. "I know you don't want to go, and I know how hard it was the first time around. But you need help, Lucy. And if you don't want to go to rehab, go to the therapist at least once a week."

"But-"

"Please Lucy. It hurts to see you this way." She pleaded. I looked into her deep blue eyes with a frown. They were glossy, as if she was going to start crying.

I sighed, defeated. "Okay." Melinda immediately hugged me tightly and I hugged her back, closing my eyes.

When we pulled away, a grin crept on her face. "Natsu is also standing outside the room."

I scowled at the name. "Really, Melinda?"

She rolled her eyes. "That boy cares about you. There is no reason to push him away because of your own insecurities. I'll send him in."

I bit my lip. I swear she knows me better than anyone. She's also the only person I would give in to when it comes to things like this. On that note, I didn't say a word as Natsu stepped in with a small smile. "Hey." He said cautiously.

"Hi," I mumbled, not meeting his eye. "Don't expect me to talk to you while you're in here." That came out harsher than I wanted.

Thankfully he just chuckled and sat down next to me. "I'll do the talking, then."

And that's exactly what he did.

( • ~ •)

The next morning I was back at school, and not in a good mood. I had an appointment with my therapist today and I was expecting the worst.

Opening my locker and organizing my things, Levy and Lisanna came up to me with angry auras. "We were worried sick about you!" They said in unison.

I rolled my eyes. "Your point is?"

"Why didn't you let us visit you? Why were you in there in the first place?" Levy questioned.

"I didn't come to school today to be interrogated, Levy." She flinched at my annunciation.

"So is the HP off?" Lisanna asked.

"Why is everything about the fucking HP? I just got out the fucking hospital and you want me to worry about getting with somebody else?"

"I didn't mean-" She started.

"Yes you did!" I snapped. "All you're worried about is Natsu this, Natsu that. He did this, and he did that. Nobody fucking cares. But you obviously don't understand that, so let me break it down for you. You fucked him because you wanted to and you are very aware of his playing ways. Yet, you thought you could change him or some shit or that you were special. Well news flash, you aren't. So talk to me again when you want to talk about something else." With that, I slammed my locker closed and walked away, ignoring the pain in my chest when I saw tears in Lisanna's eyes.

I really thought that what Melinda said would help me stop pushing people away and lashing out at people. Apparently not.

I know I should apologize, but I was just so angry that all they cared about was me breaking Natsu's heart. And after everything that happened, I don't want to do it anymore. It's exhausting and I have enough to deal with as it is.

After my first two classes I was sitting in the courtyard eating lunch by myself, which didn't go unnoticed by the student body. Confused looks we're sent my way, silently asking why I wasn't sitting next to Levy and Lisanna, who were sitting at a table far away from mine.

Considering what I said this morning, I knew I shouldn't sit by them anymore. Too many words were said, and too many feelings were hurt. At this point I don't even know if we're still friends. I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't.

When I started eating the yogurt I packed for lunch, Natsu sat at my table with a tray of the school's food. I raised and eyebrow at him but he didn't look up, prompting me to speak. "Why're you here? It's pretty obvious that I want to eat alone." I gestured to the empty seats surrounding us.

He shrugged. "You looked lonely."

"Don't expect me to speak to you." I mumbled, continuing to eat.

"So I heard about the argument you and your friends had. What was that about?" I ignored him. "That was a test to see if you would say something, I heard most of it." I stiffened in my seat. Did he hear us talking about him? "I think you treated them unfairly."

"Are you suggesting that you treat people fairly?" I countered.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You bang girls on the daily and throw them away. Not exactly fair treatment, I'd say."

"Coping mechanism." He answered curtly.

"A bit sadistic, don't you think? Your happiness derives from the pain of those girls wanting your attention."

"You don't know what you're talking about, so stop it." He clenched his jaw.

"You sat here, deal with it." I narrowed my eyes. "Let me take this further. You like the attention, don't you? All those girls that practically bow down to you and grovel at your feet. You think about how to break their hearts all the time. One. By. One."

He clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. "Stop," he said forcefully.

But I didn't. "You think the whole world revolves around you and your supposed good looks. That you can get anything you want by fucking your way to the top. Well that's not how it fucking works!"

"Shut up!" He screamed. The courtyard grew silent. "Shut the fuck up! You know nothing, okay? Ms. Know It All, you think you have me figured out, huh? Well you don't. There are other people suffering out there other than you so get off your fucking high horse and open your goddamn eyes. You don't know anything."

"But I do know that you're an incompetent asshole."

He shook his head, picked up his tray, and left. Leaving me with tears in my eyes.

I ruin everything I touch.

( • ~ •)

I know Levy and Lisanna are OOC, but book characters aren't supposed to be perfect and not have anything wrong with them. This'll be a bit of a learning curve for them character development wise so you'll see that once those three reconcile.

So Natsu has some secrets too, huh?

You'll find out eventually ;)

See you later, My Poptarts~