The Crooked Knife
By CKBarGuy and BrownEyedBluez
We don't own Twilight. Ok, we have the books.
Chapter 14
Monday evening, January 3, 2011
Dear Diary –
I have to get this down, because I can't get over how today played out. It was nothing like I expected, that's for sure!
I was SO nervous about meeting Em again. I got ready much too early and then had nothing to occupy myself. I tried to read through some more of those employment opportunities, but I couldn't concentrate. If Edward had been online, it would have been easier – he seems to always know just what to say. He had class today and then work, so I was really on my own.
I left for FoodParc too early, too, but I didn't know how long it would take to get there. It was a good thing, too, because I ended up missing my stop. One day I may figure out this crazy subway system! When I finally got there, I had to figure out just where it was Em said to meet him. He said the order counter, but it didn't look like any order counter I know. I saw him before he saw me.
OH MY GOD. He's HUGE. Before when we were together, I outweighed him by a good 50 pounds. I'm sure the Navy had a lot to do with it, too, but he's obviously done a LOT of working out, and, honestly, it freaked me out. I almost turned around and left. I mean, if he was able to manipulate me when I could hold him down by just sitting on him, now he could physically carry me off. So not what I wanted to think about!
I don't think he recognized me at first, either. Actually, I know he didn't, because he sort of leered at me the way he used to look at girls at the mall, but then his expression changed. He gave me that smile that I could never resist – dimples for days and so sexy. My knees got a little wobbly, but I managed to get to the table and compose myself. Couldn't let him see he can still affect me, even if it's not the way he'd like.
We talked. We REALLY talked, about everything. He said he'd wanted to apologize ever since that night, but he didn't know how to even begin. He was too young and scared to try, so leaving was easier. I think he really meant it, too, and believe me, I know when he's not being sincere. His eyes get that little squint, and it wasn't there. He said every time he'd had to follow some tough Navy order, he'd think of me and it was as if he was doing penance. Wow. I had no idea. I thought he'd just been scared of being caught, but he was scared I was hurt and that I never wanted to see him again.
I told him it was really hard to deal with the aftermath by myself, but that I was as much to blame as he was. We both were drunk, underage and much too bored. That all adds up to reckless behavior and we both had paid the price in our own ways. He apologized several times for leaving me alone like that. I told him that hurt me more than all the rest of it, because I really needed him right then, as a friend if nothing else.
After a bit, we talked about NY and his life here. He said he was surprised when his mom gave him my number and said I was moving up. He'd assumed I hated him, and that my mom would give his mom my number really confused him. He didn't know I'd never told anyone he was involved. I think that stunned him. I can't get over it. We could have saved ourselves so much anguish if we had just talked!
He asked about my plans and I told him how up in the air everything is, until I can find a job. He said he'd ask around for me. He also said he wished he'd known I needed one, because the bar he works for just hired somebody, and he'd much rather work with me. Apparently, she's more interested in getting tips by showing cleavage than by actual customer service. Ugh! I can't stand women like that! He seemed to think it wouldn't be long before she fucks up royally.
He got a text while we were talking and he had to go, but he asked me to meet him around 6 for drinks. I said I'd go, as long as it wasn't a date. He looked at me funny, but agreed.
I'm NOT ready for a date. After that last fiasco with James, I'm not sure I can open myself up to trust somebody like that. When you're a month and a half into what looks like a promising relationship, and you find out he's married… Thank GOD I managed to avoid having sex with him before I found out! I'd never want to be the other woman.
I ran back to Jake's for a quick bite and to change. I couldn't eat during our conversation- I was much too nervous, not to mention broke. Em asked me to meet him at The Crooked Knife, which was great, because it's not too far from J's. I've passed it a few times, but hadn't gone in. That's one of the things I really miss about being employed – affording a night out. As it was, since I didn't eat at FoodParc, I thought I could splurge a little and get a drink.
I got there, got a corner table and waited. And waited. And waited. An absolutely adorable British guy with big blue eyes waited on me, which did help pass the time. Such a flirt! It must be a Brit thing. At least he did look at my eyes and not just my boobs. And I saw B&N guy again! He was in the bar, but I only caught a glimpse of him as he was going out the back. He looked angry again, like someone just pissed on his poodle. LOL Just after Blue Eyes brought my second drink, Em texted me he had an emergency and had to go out to New Jersey. I didn't want to stay by myself, so I came home. Now waiting for Edward to tweet me back.
Crazy how I've come to count on talking to him. :)