Black

10.

Minato looked up. It was still nightfall. No time had passed since he had initiated Hiraishin. Who knows how far away exactly he was from his destination. Even he wasn't sure. "Come on," he muttered. "Make a decision."

"Can I have the dumplings anyway? I'm still going to harass you."

"Sweet Jesus…" Minato lunged. He was rarely this frustrated and angry to be the one to attack first, but as his sensei always used to say, "STUFF IT!" Minato attacked.

Minato maneuvered around him, pulling out several shuriken in order to slow him down. The hokage was fortunate enough to hold the cloak for a moment with two kunai and hit him across his face—er, mask and turned, placing a seal on the back of the man's ankle before the force threw him into a tree. Minato stood there and waited. He finally had an ace in the hole.

The man readjusted his mask. "I knew you were a mean son of a..."

Minato bit his lip, angry and annoyed. "Don't tell me you're an Iwa nin, sent here to prevent me from getting there in time."

"A whata-what? Oh no. I'm not one of those. I was born far away from the shinobi villages you speak of."

"You were born," Minato muttered as if the subject had been moot. "What did you use to get into my jutsu?" said Minato angrily.

"Ah. That. Yes. Well. First off, you got into MY jutsu. So don't even talk to me if it's my fault mister big important man," the masked man flaunted his upper middle like a bird.

"I got into YOUR jutsu? But that's IMPOSSIBLE!" Minato exclaimed.

"Hey, I wasn't the one who placed the seal on my butt."

Minato stared. "I placed it…where…?"

"On my butt. I was about to turn, but I wasn't quick enough. I was coming out of a great sleep you know, and I couldn't activate it because you put some sort of protection on it where no one could activate it but you. Very smart," the man allowed, "Very intelligent."

Minato's mouth was open. "…You're joking."

"I am not. I often transform myself into rocks. It's how I like to sleep."

Minato squinted, shaking his head, trying not to picture what the man accused him of doing. "No…no…that can't…No," said Minato. "That's not right."

The man inclined his head as if to say, "Oh yes, it was."

"No. I. Placed that seal. Over a week ago," recalled Minato factually, "On a ROCK, almost exactly fifteen miles from…an undisclosed location which will remain undisclosed to you."

"That was me. I had been traveling all day. I was very tired."

Minato felt like pulling his hair.

"As I was saying. As soon as I saw you again, I wanted to clobber you for what you had done. Surely you would have too, had the situations been reversed. I am a reasonable man."

"…Okay…okay…Let's SAY, I did what you say I did. I'm…sorry. Okay? Where are we now, exactly, I have an appointment to keep."

"What a busy man. Of course I could infer that from your cloak. You come from the land of fire. You look like you are Konohagakure's leader."

"Why yes. I am," Minato affirmed. You can read, he thought.

"Well actually," said the man. "I'm not sure where we are either."

"…How d'you mean…?"

"You see, when you activated your mark, on my…"

"On your …"

"Yes, well, I was en route to my home from north ofTanzaku, toward the west via a seal summoning jutsu a lot like yours. These woods, while they are typical of Konoha, are not familiar to me."

Minato opened his mouth and then studied the man curiously. "Which village do you hail from?"

"Haven't you been listening? I hail from no village. I was simply on my way home when you happened to activate your seal at the same time I did mine."

"But you…" Minato shook his head. "You were trained in ninjutsu—It took me years to develop Hiraishin. Even with Academy training, I didn't know what I was doing was even possible."

"Ah. So we are both lunatics."

"…It would appear so," said Minato flatly.

"No. I never went to the 'Academy'. I never trained under legitimate trainers. I was self-taught. You could say…it just comes…natural."

"What is your jutsu called?"

The man hesitated. "Mine is the Flying Dragon technique."

Minato nearly fell over sideways. "What is yours?" the man's voice was young and eager, but Minato said very low, "Flying Thundergod technique."

"Ooo!" The man skipped on his feet. "How uncanny! I knew you were a strange one."

"Could we please focus on getting to a village or road mark or something so I can get on with my mission?"

"I suppose," said the man, "Unless we're not anywhere."

"…What do you mean?"

"Well. Haven't you ever considered what would happen if your jutsu and my jutsu…collided?"

"…No."

"I did. After you so cruelly placed your mark on my ass. I began to worry if you activated it while I used my jutsu, what the outcome would be. Upon seeing nothing good would come of it, I vowed to myself then I would make it home on foot (the traditional way) until I received word just a few minutes ago (figuratively speaking) that my daughter is ill. I decided I had to rush home. I thus activated my seal the moment you did yours, and WHAMO!" He clapped his hands together and squashed his palms, "You and me were entangled and I was going to get your ass…for getting mine…so to speak…"

"…Oh. Forgive me."

"Yes well. Let's see if we are truly in the here-or-there…BYE!"

"WAIT! WHAT—" As soon as the man vanished, he was back, and thrown viciously against the tree. "Oh shit," he said. "Oh shit shit shit. Not good, not good, not good."

Minato rushed over to him; the man looked like his neck was broken…but it was not. The man cradled it and cracked it a few times, repeating, "Oh my God. Not good. Not good. No not good."

"What? What happened? One second you were here, the next…!"

"No, it was within a second," the man corrected. "I tried to activate my seal. But it did not work. Not good."

"What does that mean?" Minato asked immediately.

"It means we are not in the here-nor-there." He said cryptically, moaning.

"…And that means?"

"We are…" The man paused. "We are…outside."

"WELL YES TRIPPY NINJA WE ARE OUTSIDE IN THE WOODS. GOOD FOR YOU."

"No…no…Not good for us. We are out-side," the man emphasized.

"Outside of what!" Minato exclaimed.

"Everything."

Minato silenced.

The man pointed a finger, as in instruction. "The world you know isn't the only world there is. We are outside. In one of the other alternate realities."

Minato stared at him blankly.

"As to which one…" the man shrugged, sitting more upright, "That remains to be seen."

Minato opened his mouth, and then he closed it.

"…No? No comprendé?"

"…No. Not really."

"Then we shall go forth to your Konohagakure, and see who is there. My home does not exist. I must be some kind of mass murderer or something…I've got the talent for it…"

Minato hesitated, but helped him up. "I'm not sure I believe any of this." said Minato.

"I'm sorry about your mission. We may have entered a reality where the Iwa nin have not tried to invade or kill you. We may have entered a walk where my wife is still alive or orange-colored jumpsuits are in style."

"Orange-colored jumpsuits are never in style."

"So you say."

Minato glared at the back of his dark-haired head. "Well if this reality is so screwed up as you say, you might as well take off your mask."

"…But…I need it on. I never take it off except for my daughter," the man seemed astonished Minato asked such a question.

"Did you take it off for your wife?"

"…Of course."

"Then pretend I'm your wife."

"…How shocking." The man said, his voice rightly shocked.

"Yeah, well, I have a feeling we haven't been shocked yet. Especially not when you meet my wife."

"A shuriken is she?"

"Mm…" Minato murmured neither affirming or denying.

.