"Would you sit still? This is hard enough without you bouncing all over the place!" I finally snapped as Gin moved her head yet again, making me lose the grip on her ginger hair.
Ginny shot me a look in the mirror she was sitting in front of, raising her eyebrows questioningly. Trying to balance the comb between my thumb and index and braiding her hair while glancing at my watch to make sure I would have time to get myself prepared before the wedding, I still found the time to stick my tongue out at her reflection. She laughed and I scowled as the movement made me drop the comb.
"Do you even know how to braid hair?" Gin asked in a taunting way as she watched me struggle behind her. "We've been at this for more than fifteen minutes now."
"Shut it!" I shot back, annoyed. "I am majorly stressed and my fingers won't obey me right now, that's all. I will get this done!"
"Hey, you are anxious, aren't you?" Gin supplied as pearls of sweat started to appear on my forehead. "What gives?" In response, I pulled on the strands of hair, hard, and she grimaced in pain. "Never mind, I don't think I want to know."
"Good." I growled and finally let go of her. "There, done."
Ginny got up and lifted her fingers to the back of her head, grimacing again as she felt the mess I'd created out of her beautifully combed straight hair. I threw my arms up and hid my face behind my hands.
"I know! I know! It's horrible." I cried out in desperation and felt the young witch touch my hands slowly. I let them drop and she squeezed my arm reassuringly, leading me to the bed where I collapsed in a very disgraceful manner.
"I know." I repeated quietly as she sat beside me. "I totally messed it up. You should've asked Hermione or Fleur to do it. I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's okay." Gin said hesitantly. She'd been acting very carefully around me ever since I'd come out of what Fred liked to call my "plant-like state", like I could break at any moment. "It's only hair."
To my utter horror, I felt tears build up in my eyes. What the hell was wrong with me? All of this because I was incapable of braiding hair?
"But it isn't just that!" I shot back, both to her and to my confused mind. "Nothing's right, not anymore. I've been a useless wreck ever since Jon…" a sob that I tried unsuccessfully to disguise in a couth escaped my lips before I could stop it.
"No you haven't," Gin replied, rubbing my back slowly.
"I have! It's like I can't do anything right now that he's gone. I haven't been able to help the twins build anything, I barely spoke to anyone during Harry's birthday party, I couldn't take part in the wedding preparations without tripping over stuff and ruining everything, and now this… I'm sorry Gin."
"You're just tired, Mel. It's only stress."
I nodded at that. I was completely exhausted, having been unable to enjoy one good night's sleep in days; I kept having the same nightmare, the one that had totally freaked me out on that first night where I'd spooked Hermione and Ginny. It hadn't been as bad as that first night when I'd screamed, but it was scary enough that it woke me up and stopped me from sleeping again the rest of the night. I had been spending countless hours just sitting in my bed, hugging my knees, waiting for my trembling to cease so I could wait patiently for daylight to arrive.
"Even your father saw it," I sighed into my hands. "Said he wouldn't let me join the Order because I was so messed up-"
"That's not what he said, he told you it was because you were too young…"
"… and that wanting revenge wasn't a good motivation for joining. I know Gin! I was there, remember? Only, I know what he was thinking, what the lot of them was. They kept looking at me with pity in their eyes." I scowled at nothing in particular. "I hate it when people pity me."
She nodded complacently and I stared off into space, biting my lip nervously.
"I'm scared for today." I suddenly let out and gave a shaky laugh as if to excuse the irrationality of my feelings. "It's just… I don't feel like celebrating anything. You know?"
"Yeah." She whispered sadly. "That's what Bill told mum when he wanted to cancel the wedding."
"What did she say?"
"That life goes on." Gin answered simply. "And that he shouldn't feel guilty for being the one still breathing when Jon was gone. That he had a right to enjoy life despite the loss of his friend. Philosophical stuff like that. I tuned them out when she started crying."
We smiled tearfully at one another.
"What else worries you?" Gin asked, like she knew the answer to that question and was readying herself to discuss it. I sighed deeply.
"I'm scared Amy will be there. Bill said he'd invited her." Before she could start talking, I added abruptly "but I don't want to talk about it."
"Right." Ginny paused and looked at the golden dress her mom had picked out for her on top of her bed. "Hey, what are you wearing anyway? Do you want me to lend you a dress?"
"Gin, I'm not really in the mood to dress up for anything."
But Ginny had already gotten up and was looking inside her closet with far too much enthusiasm, in my opinion. She was probably trying to distract me from gloomy thoughts, and unfortunately, it was working.
"Aw, please? You've got to dress up at a wedding! How about this one?" she asked, waving a bright, long-sleeved number in my direction. I grimaced.
"You must be joking. It's pink."
"Right, I'd forgotten I was addressing a tomboy." Gin shot back, already digging for other dresses. "Do you prefer them strapless?"
"I don't prefer anything! I told you I'm not dressing up tonight."
"You so are." She sounded much too confident in my opinion, and I started to head for the door. If running away was the only option to escape playing dress-up, then I would gladly embrace it.
"This one is perfect!" she cried suddenly, and I stared back, curious despite my better judgement. She was holding a simple short red dress. "It's like, screaming your name!"
"Well, it is pretty." I replied hesitantly, taking the fabric in my hands and marvelling at how light and soft it felt, before shaking my head, as if to clear my thoughts. "I don't know."
"And those shoes will go nicely with it!" she added, holding up a pair of black sandals. I felt my eyes widen.
"High heels?" I almost shouted. "Over my dead body."
She crossed her arms stubbornly and growled. "If it has to be that way, then so be it."
"Are you actually threatening me?" I almost laughed and handed her the dress back. "You know what, never mind all of this. I'll put on a little lip gloss if it makes you happy, how about it?"
"Mel!" she cried desperately.
"What?" I shouted back, bewildered. Why was me wearing a dress so important to her?
"Please put this on. You'll look great, I promise!"
"But Ginny, no one cares if I dress up today, so why bother?"
"The twins would care!" she replied, pointing at me excitedly while bouncing up and down. "They would love it if you wore a dress."
I felt myself blush as the image of George telling me I looked pretty popped up in my head. "The twins have girlfriends! They wouldn't care!"
She raised an eyebrow at me. "I didn't mean it in a romantic way. I meant they would like to see you have fun and enjoy life for once." She kept looking at me strangely and I shrugged to hide my embarrassment.
"Right." I ran a hand through my hair and looked away. Gin started tugging on my sleeve in a very annoying manner.
"Come on Mel! You have to go on living, you know?"
"I am!" I shot back, annoyed. "I just want to feel comfortable in a pair of jeans and sneakers, is that a crime?"
"Yes." She answered. "Tonight, it is. Please. Please, please please please please. Please."
"Fine!" I yelled. "I'll wear the damn thing, and I'll hate every minute of it! Are you happy now?"
"Extremely." She smiled at me as I ripped the dress out of her hands and headed for the bathroom to change. "You've got thirty minutes before mum wants us downstairs to greet guests. Come out soon so I have time to put some makeup on you."
"Makeup wasn't part of the contract!" I yelled as she closed her bedroom door.
"Oh, put a sock in it." I heard her grumble through the wooden panel and couldn't help smiling. Tonight might be fun after all.
ooOoooOoooOoo
My short brown hair looked wild and spiky, but I liked it that way. Jon had been right; it did suit me better.
Ginny had insisted that I put on mascara, eye liner and lip gloss, to which I hadn't been able to say no. At least, I'd escaped the high heels, claiming my terrible balance would make me a walking disaster if I were to wear them. Upon hearing this, Mrs. Weasley had insisted I'd be given safety-flats, and even Ginny's temper hadn't been able to make her change her mind on the matter. I considered this a small victory and had agreed to all her other requests so that she would stop staring at me in disappointment. Thus, my full lips had been carefully pink-glossed with the order that I stop biting my lips, "for goodness sake" (to which I'd replied with a traditional and classy hand gesture) and my cinnamon eyes looked bigger than usual, framed with heavily mascaraed eyelashes and a golden eyeliner which made their colour seem brighter.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I had to admit I looked alright. Better than alright, even. I looked good. The red dress fit me perfectly and made me look thinner than I really was. I was wearing a small, golden necklace that had been a gift from my parents on my last birthday and I liked the way my eyes shined as I contemplated my reflection in Ginny's mirror. Maybe, just for one night, I could enjoy myself and be happy. Maybe.
"You look great Mel!" Hermione said enthusiastically from behind me.
"So do you." I replied earnestly. Hermione had on a floaty, lilac-coloured dress and had somehow managed to tame her wild brown hair; it was sleek and shiny. Ginny had already left to go do her "maid of honour duties", as I liked to call them, and the two of us were preparing to go downstairs to meet the boys, who must have already been helping guests to their seats, if they were still on the carefully-prepared schedule set up by Mrs. Weasley. As we left the room, I couldn't stop myself from winking at Hermione and saying;
"Ron won't be able to take his eyes off of you."
Her reaction was not the one I had expected; instead of blushing and stuttering something about this being ridiculous, Hermione smiled at me knowingly and replied;
"Nor George from you."
I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at her, utterly bewildered.
"Excuse me?"
But she just kept on smiling and walking towards the stairs, so I followed after her, muttering quietly about how ridiculous she was being; and yes, it was slightly disturbing to see how easily the situation had been reversed. We ran into a grumbling elderly woman who had a feathery pink hat on and was holding a tiara in her hands. She stopped walking when she saw us and began talking aloud as if we couldn't hear her.
"Oh dear, are these the Muggle and Muggle-born?" she mumbled, her eyes going from our heads to our toes in a disapproving manner. "Bad posture and skinny ankles", she noted at Hermione, and "Oh, Merlin, where is that girl's hair? Mm, chubby cheeks." She informed me indirectly. The two of us smiled politely at the old woman and ran away as fast as we possibly could.
"That was Ron's Great Aunt Muriel." Hermione told me as we made our way through the garden near the entrance of the marquee, passing many people on the way; it seemed all of the guests had finally arrived and that the wedding was about to start.
"Charming lady." I noted dryly and she laughed as we joined Ron and Harry (who had been disguised as another Weasley who we were supposed to call Barry). Ron's eyes lit up as he took in the young witch.
"Wow, you look great!" he said enthusiastically and Hermione smiled back in response as I winked at Harry, who was watching the two of them in a knowing manner.
"Always the tone of surprise." She replied, looking pleased.
"Although your Great Aunt Muriel doesn't agree," I piped in cheerfully. "We just met her upstairs while she was giving Fleur her tiara."
"She said "Oh dear, are these the Muggle and Muggle-born?" and then "bad posture and skinny ankles"." Hermione added.
"What did she tell you?" Ron asked me and I shrugged.
"That I was beautiful beyond belief and clearly had some Veela genes somewhere in my family tree." Harry laughed and Hermione answered seriously.
"Horribly short hair and chubby cheeks." I stuck my tongue out at her and she pretended to look offended before grinning at me.
"Don't take it personally, she's rude to everyone." Ron told Hermione as Fred and George emerged from the marquee together.
"Yes, chubby cheeks, I've been meaning to talk about this with you, Ands." Fred called in greeting, wrapping an arm over my shoulders like he always did. Then he did a double take and stepped back, holding me at arms length and pretending to study me carefully.
"Well, well, well. Is this our Andy? What do you think Forge?"
"I don't know Gred. She actually looks like a girl!" George smiled at me over his twin's shoulder, looking pleased at my unusual attire. I grinned back, blushing in a way I hoped was conspicuous.
"You look great Ands." Fred said, finally letting go of me and messing up my hair.
"Well, you don't look so bad yourselves." I said as I took in their tuxedoed identical selves. They were quite handsome, to say the truth. Fred started to strike a pose as George imitated his Great Aunt Muriel's voice telling the redheaded what was wrong with his physical features. The six of us were laughing so hard that we didn't notice the dark-haired young man with the large, curved nose until he stepped behind Hermione and said:
"You look vunderful."
Judging by Ron's sudden intake of breath and the way his nostrils flared dangerously, what was soon to follow wouldn't be pretty and the twins and I realized it might be time to leave the trio alone to deal with the unwelcome newcomer.
"Come on," George muttered as he grabbed my wrist lightly and pulled me away from the group, where Ron's ears were turning a colour dangerously similar to his hair, and towards the marquee. I couldn't help but notice the way my skin tingled when he touched it; perhaps he felt it too because he dropped my wrist abruptly like he'd suddenly realized what he'd done.
Like he'd just remembered that he wasn't Fred and didn't do this kind of thing.
Trying to act like I hadn't noticed the awkward moment, I ran a hand through my hair and looked away nervously towards the garden. Fred's excited voice brought my gaze back towards the twins.
"Angie!" he shouted and ran forward to take a tall, black haired girl into his arms and to spin her around like a crazy kid. She laughed and I could see that she was very pretty; her hair had a multitude of braids with little pearls on them and her skin was a warm chocolate brown. Meanwhile, George stepped forward from where he was standing beside me towards a very beautiful and tall blond girl who had just arrived along with Angelina. Even though I knew what was about to happen, I was still shocked when I saw him bend down to kiss Alicia. I turned away, embarrassed, surprised at how bad I suddenly felt. Thankfully, I had time to collect myself and when Fred and Angelina walked back towards me, hand in hand, I was ready to smile and act like nothing was wrong.
"Ands, this is Angelina, my girlfriend." Fred introduced us, smiling cheekily in a way that you couldn't help but grin back at. "Angie, this is Andy, the girl I've been telling you about."
"Actually, I'm Melinda; but this doofus' skull is too thick for me to make him remember that." I interjected as Angelina reached forward to shake my hand. She smiled at the comment and hit Fred playfully on the chest.
"Yeah, he can be pretty thick, can't he?" she joked and they shared an intimate look that made me smile; Fred just looked so happy as his hand closed around her fist and he pulled her towards him. She stepped away, blushing a little and smiled at me in a friendly manner again. I decided I liked Angelina; the simple fact that she made Fred happy would have been enough for me to put up with her anyway.
"Well, these two look busy, so we might as well get to our seats." Fred joked and pointed to where George and Alicia were so intertwined that you couldn't tell one from the other. I felt a sudden pang in the chest upon seeing their embrace, and turned away quickly, hoping Fred wouldn't notice my unease. It was surprising how close to my heart the pain came from.
"Come on girls!" Fred said, putting his arms over both mine and Angelina's shoulders and leading us down the aisle towards our seats, seeming oblivious to the way I was feeling, which was good. I caught a glimpse of his girlfriend's face; she looked like she didn't really like Fred touching me like he was touching her. Gently, I pulled away from Fred and smiled at the couple, scratching the back of my head and looking away from Fred's confused look. I didn't want to hurt him, but I also didn't want Angelina to get the wrong idea; Fred and I were really close, but not in a romantic way, not at all. He was like my brother, and even if the confused way I felt towards George left me completely clueless, I was absolutely certain about Fred, and I wasn't about to ruin his relationship with Angie by getting in the way. He didn't realize he might be hurting her by being with me, so I was the one who'd have to pull away a bit, I decided. That was okay, and he'd thank me in the long run. The only thing, I realized as Fred and Angelina walked on ahead and George and Alicia stayed behind, was that I was suddenly being left on my own; and after having lost so much, I really didn't know how I would handle the sudden and unexpected loneliness.
ooOoooOoooOoo
As you may have noticed, I'm trying something new: telling this story in the first person singular instead of in the third person like I had done until now. Please tell me which way you find best and how you think I should continue the story! Thanks for reading, you guys are the best!