between your ribs

I'm very, very excited to see what you think of this chapter.

Chapter Fourteen

November 26th, 2015

Jane closes her eyes, taking a slow and deep breath as her hands form fists at her sides. The intruder's breath washes over her ear – slow, and regular, so they're calm, this isn't the first time they've done something like this – and he grips her tighter, pulling her away from the bathroom. Her feet stumble slightly and he growls.

"Back to Maura Isles, detective," he mutters, forcing her to take one step forward.

Jane resists, gritting her teeth. No. He's not getting anywhere near her Ma and Maura.

"That wasn't a question," he spits as Jane tries to twist free of his grip. He's holding her too tight, anticipating her movement, so knocks the back of her legs with his knees to make her own buckle as he half-drags half-carries her to the front room, in full view of her Ma and Maura.

Maura is the one to notice first.

Jacob is still making her move, gripping her too tightly for breathing to be easy. Yet all she can do is watch the way the colour drains from Maura's face, the way the chopping knife falls from her hand and clatters against the counter, the way she takes two steps back and shakes her head as though she can wish this all away.

The clatter of the knife makes her ma turn to Maura, frowning.

"Janie!" She cries, reaching out, only stopping when the man digs the muzzle of the gun hard enough against Jane's temples to make her gasp.

"I'm fine, Ma," she gasps.

Tears glitter in her eyes and Jane looks to Maura, who has her hands over her ears, staring at the floor. The rise and fall of her chest is rapid, uneven. She wants nothing more than to hold her, slip away from the rest of the world and the things that dare hurt Maura.

"Doctor Isles," the man growls, making Maura's wide eyes look up with a flitter of panic. She lets her hands fall from her ears.

As she speaks, her voice breaks.

"You're Jacob Matthews. Melissa's father."

"You broke up my family, Doctor Isles. You're trying to put my daughter in prison, you've turned my son on his family. How'd you like it if I got a little payback?"

Jacob releases the safety on the gun, and Jane feels herself trembling. But Maura takes a few steps forwards, hand reaching out.

"NO! Don't you hurt her, don't you dare!" Maura cries fiercely.

"Well would you look at that, detective? It looks like I've found Maura Isles's weakness," Jacob murmurs into her ear.

Jane squirms, hands gripping his arm around her tightly. "What do you want, you sack of shit – "

"You don't want me to testify," Maura interrupts, moving closer, slowly, her hand drifting across the kitchen counter and curling around the handle of a drawer, white-knuckled. "You think that'll be enough to get Melissa off of charges."

"It will be."

Maura shakes her head. "No. It won't. Threatening me won't change Melissa's fate. She deserves to pay for what she's done."

"So do you."

She hears her Ma gasp and look away as Jacob's finger meets the trigger of his gun. Jane prepares herself automatically, tensing, staring at the woman she loves.

But then Maura is moving, so quickly she might have missed it if she had blinked. The drawer that she's close to opens in a flash and then she has a gun in her hands. Jane hears the sounds of the shots, jerks instantly, but feels no pain, only the way the arm gripping her goes limp as Jacob falls and blood spurts over the back of her shoulders.

She turns, wide eyed, reaching, to find him already on the floor, two bullets lodged into his skull.

There are shouts, and then Frankie and Korsak kick down the door, Phillips and Ito following them inside. Jane stares, mouth falling open, but they say nothing. Frankie and Korsak are by her ma's side immediately, Phillips rushing to take Jacob's pulse. Ito catches her eye and nods towards Maura.

Jane turns, finding Maura standing in the same spot, the gun gripped tight in her hands. She takes a few cautious steps forwards, until Maura lifts her eyes to hers, tears spilling over their edges as she trembles. She reaches out with one hand to pry the gun softly from her hands, but she flinches, fingers pale while she gasps at Jane's touch.

"Give me the gun, Maur," she murmurs. "You don't need it anymore. You're safe, he's gone."

"Safe," Maura repeats, staring at her in wonder.

She holds the gun out, letting Jane take it this time. Jane holds it aside, where Ito has moved to take it, and before she can say anything else Maura lets out a low, long cry, eyes closing and hands curling against her own chest.

"I'm okay," Jane whispers as she gathers Maura in her arms, feeling her shudder with sobs against her. "I'm fine, Maura. I'm okay."

"I can't lose you," Maura sobs against her shoulder. "Jane, I can't ever lose you."

"You won't. Ever. I promise," she rasps, kissing her hair. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Maura Isles."

The laugh that eases out of Maura's throat is choked and mixed with sobs. It is enough.

Jane sits on one of the dining chairs watching as the FBI loads Jacob's corpse onto a stretcher. Things feel a little calmer inside of her, now. She'd changed her shirt from the blood-splattered one and tied her hair up, not allowing it to knotting around her eyes and preventing her from keeping an eye on Maura. She's sitting on the couch with Phillips, who is taking her statement, slowly and carefully, to avoid triggering Maura into sobbing again. It had taken a long time to calm her to begin with.

"Careful, someone might think you're in love with her."

Jane startles a little as Ito laughs. She rolls her eyes and punches his side playfully as he takes his seat next to her.

"Shut up," she growls, fighting a grin.

"C'mon. The woman just killed a guy for you. If she doesn't love you too, I'll resign."

"Phillips would love that, she can finally hire someone useful."

"Good to see you haven't lost your wit."

Jane chuckles, looking back to Phillips and Maura. Something about Phillips is… different. She reaches out and squeezes Maura's forearm softly when she hesitates, jaw tightening as if she's fighting tears. It's only now that the agent becomes less of a foggy form in Jane's mind. All of this time she had been fighting against her as if she had needed to compete to be the one to save Maura. Now, though, she looks at this agent, with her blonde hair falling free around her shoulders for once and her green eyes kind and warm, so different to the one who had been bemused by her attempts to take over the investigation. Oh. Oh, this is why she had been uncomfortable around her.

She looks like Maura.

"Where'd she get the gun?" Jane asks, rubbing a thumb over her scars.

"We checked it out. She got a permit a couple weeks ago. It's all legal."

Jane sighs. "She didn't tell me about it."

"She's scared, Rizzoli. I imagine there's a lot of things she hasn't told you about."

Jane hums, glancing over at the puddle of blood staining the wood of Maura's front room. Forms fists with her hands. She will never let anyone harm one hair on her best friend's head again.

"You know, in Japanese, we have this proverb," Ito is saying. "After rain comes fair weather."

"Is that right."

Ito nods, and when she turns away from watching Phillips and Maura she finds his eyes on her. He's young, sure, but sometimes, when he looks at her, she sees knowledge and experience that surpasses his age. She's almost… missed him.

"Well," Jane says, rubbing her hands together. "It's winter. Crappy time to ask for some decent weather."

"You'll see one day. And when it happens, you better invite me to the wedding."

"Why, you wanna be my bridesmaid?"

Phillips stands from the couch, signalling to her team to finish up now that they've collected all the statements and Jacob's body. Ito sighs, rising from his seat and tugging on the end of his blazer sleeves.

"Don't be a stranger, Rizzoli."

Jane looks up at him and smiles.

"You can be maid of honour if that's what you really want."

Ito rolls his eyes, making her laugh as he leaves.

Once the FBI are gone, three of their finest agents promising to watch over Maura's house, her Ma force feeds them dinner. Maura sits silently, staring at nothing but her plate, stabbing at the food every now and then but failing to eat. Angela gives Jane a pointed glance as she leaves them by the time the night has rolled around.

Jane watches as Maura paces by the kitchen counter, muttering under her breath while jabbing at her phone furiously.

"I can't believe their phone lines aren't open at this hour – what if someone needed them in case of an emergency? Like now – "

"Maur, c'mon, slow down," Jane says, approaching her cautiously. "What do you need?"

"I need CCTV surveillance and a better security system, obviously what I already have is subpar to my needs and considering there is a gang of – of criminals out there bent on hurting you – "

"They're not gonna get me. They're not gonna get you either, Maura, Jacob's dead," she murmurs, slowly slipping the phone from Maura's grip to place on the kitchen table. "Listen, you can call them first thing in the morning, okay? You'll be safe tonight. I promise."

"That's what you said before, Jane. And look at what just happened! I killed – "

Maura pauses, not breathing for a moment, until Jane takes her hands.

"I killed him," she whispers, tears filling her eyes. "I've never – I didn't mean – he's…"

Jane pulls her close, letting Maura tuck her face into her neck, hands gripping her tightly.

"Stay," Maura chokes out. "Jane, I can't do this on my own anymore."

"You don't have to," Jane promises. "I'll be here as long as you need me."

"And if I need you forever?"

Jane smiles against her hair. How beautiful those words are to her ears.

"Then I'll be here."

The nightmares come to her quickly. Visions of Jacob pulling the trigger, ending her life before she can save her ma and Maura. Maura screaming out, crying as her blood spills across the floor, because Jane had promised, she had promised that she would be safe and that she'd always keep her safe, and now look, she's too late, too late –

She wakes in a cold sweat, heart pounding in her ears. It barely takes ten seconds before she realises it is not her own nightmares that have woken her.

The screams echo through Maura's house. Jane rips the covers away and begins sprinting to Maura's room, taking the stairs two at a time. She bursts into her room, the only source of light spilling in from the hallway, illuminating Maura's empty bed. She rushes over to the sheets, confounded for a moment, gripping them tightly, before another scream echoes from the other side of the room. Groping her way through the dark, she finds Maura curled beneath her vanity, rocking back and forth as she stares at the wall and tears trickle down her cheeks.

Jane grips her shoulders. "Maura."

The screams stop, replaced by a small, barely there whisper.

"Jane is not coming for me."

"I'm right here, Maura."

"Jane is not coming for me."

Maura twists away from her grip, heaving a deep breath before yelling.

"Jane is not coming for me!"

Jane crawls back out from underneath her vanity, rushing over to the curtains. She flings the curtains open so that the moonlight mingles with the borrowed light of the hallway, crawling back over to Maura who she can see clearly now, down to every detail: her bloodshot eyes, the tear in her silk pyjama blouse from her own hands, her trembling lips.

"I'm here," she says softly, watching the way Maura's gaze settles on her suddenly. She takes her hands and squeezes. "I told you, I'm not going anywhere, Maura."

"You're really here," Maura whispers, reaching up to cup the detective's cheek. "Jane."

"It's me, Maur," she murmurs, leaning into the touch, almost allowing herself to close her eyes.

"I keep… Having these – these flashbacks, of sorts. Hallucinations. That I'm back there. Or I'm here and you're… you're just not, and I never know why."

Maura hand slips, travelling along her neck, curving around her shoulder, trailing down her arm until it's just her fingertips against Jane's. Jane fights to keep her skin from burning in the path of Maura's touch. This is not about that. This is about so much more.

But she needs her to know.

"I love you, Maura."

Reverent. Absolute.

Maura's teary eyes widen, glancing up at her.

"You do?"

Oh, how is that a question? The absence of Maura had been a terrifying thing, a hole so deep inside of her that she had felt her guts unspooling, all of the strings inside of her threatening to break. Loving her is a bubbling, filling thing; balm to her scars and a soft touch to the rough, sharp edges to her.

"Yes," she replies fiercely. It is one of the only real things she knows anymore. "You don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to know so that you know I'm not… I'm never leaving you, Maura. Not unless you ask."

Maura sighs, sloping forward, until Jane twists to curl an arm around her shoulders and hold her close.

"But what if I told you… that I can't go back to work? I can't go back to working on the dead, Jane. Not after all of this. I don't think I ever will."

"Then we'll find you something makes you happy," she promises, holding her tighter.

Eventually, Maura agrees to attempt sleep again. As she slips to sit on the edge of her bed, the covers thrown back, Jane moves over the windows to close the curtains. She drifts past Maura in the almost darkness, but she catches her wrist, shaking her head. So Jane closes the door, staying inside, before settling beside Maura, the way they used to when one of them was afraid, or tired, or just – just because.

She rests her head on the pillow, Maura doing the same, the covers at their socked feet. Maura reaches for her hand.

"I need to be small."

Jane takes a sharp breath.

"No. No, no – Maura. You are not small. You don't need to be. Please tell me you understand. How much space you take up inside of me. Maura," Jane curls her fingers beneath Maura's chin. "Please talk to me."

Maura looks up at her. Wide-eyed. Places her hands on Jane's cheeks.

"I need. To be small."

Her hands fall away as Jane finally begins to understand. Watches as Maura curls herself into a ball on the mattress and Jane pulls the sheets up and over their heads, until it's nothing but them and darkness, and wraps herself around Maura. She feels the small motions of her breathing against her and tightens her grip.

She will be enough for the both of them.

TBC