I've been without internet for the last three days so that is why I've been unable to upload. I've been sitting on this chapter for four days and I'm so excited to be uploading it now!
Thanks to thewhitekitten and DrunkenOfficer for making my week with your wonderful reviews!
I love you all!
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The barracks looked exactly as they had when their inhabitants had left over a week ago. The homes were quiet and the windows dark. The Others were led by the light of the torches; Tom knelt down and punched in the code to the pylon fence, the hum from the electricity immediately coming to a halt. The men and women passed through unharmed, and they walked up from the beach and into the jungle. Home was not far away now. Four men carried Ben on a stretcher through the dense combination of underbrush and vines. He bit his tongue to keep from moaning in pain. Though they tried to be as calm as they could, walking through the jungle was not an easy task, and with each toss and turn and bounce, a jarring pain would shoot up Ben's back.
The sight of the bungalows made the men and women cheer. Hydra Island was not their home and it lacked the amenities that the barracks provided. With warm showers, good food, and electricity, it was no wonder that they all seemed to rush to their homes as fast as their feet could carry them. Good thing too, because Ben was just itching to finally lay in a soft bed and rest his weary body. Traveling had not been the wisest choice, even Jack had warned against it. But they had had no choice. With Sawyer and Kate having escaped back to the mainland, the other survivors would waste no time in finding a way to cross the ocean and rescue their beloved surgeon. The Others were strong but there would have been bloodshed, one thing that Ben did not desire at the moment.
Once the four men brought him to his own bungalow, they placed him inside the threshold and then they rushed to the clinic, only to return about a half an hour later with a hospital bed and a wheelchair, both of which they put into his room. The thought made Ben's mouth twist into a grimace. He hated being weak, sickly, and unhealthy. It made him feel vulnerable in ways he had never felt before. They moved to help carry him into his bedroom and his gut clenched. His pride was internally screaming and he couldn't send the men away soon enough.
Then, he was alone.
He heard Alex getting a glass of water and he hoped that she would at least come and say goodnight to him. She hadn't so much as looked at Ben since she had discovered just what measures he had gone through to keep her and Karl separated. She walked down the hall and passed his door. For one split second, she glanced at him and their eyes met. Her face turned hard as stone and she continued down the hall. Ben heard her door slam with a ferocity that he had never heard before, and, coming from Alex, that was a surprise. He winced when he heard it.
How had they ever gotten to this point? And how had he failed to screw things up so fast and terribly as he had?
0o0 Flashback 0o0
Ben emerged from the shadows and entered the encirclement of tents. It was the most recent camp the 'hostiles' had set up. With each time they moved, they came closer and closer to the Dharma Initiative. Now, they were very close to the boundary line, the pylon fence was the only thing separating them from the men, women, and children on the other side. Of course, the fence wasn't a problem anymore. They knew the code, thanks to the newest member of their group, but they were still waiting patiently. Now, was not the moment to act. They had to be patient.
His thoughts briefly flickered to Annie who was within the barracks. It was nearly eleven at night. She would be in bed fast asleep by now. But Ben had been called by Widmore to fulfill a certain mission: kill an insane French woman who was a menace to the Island. The moment Ben had found out about the child, though, he had been unable to do it (something he refused to reflect on at the moment), which was how he had ended up back here with said child in his arms and a prayer on his lips. He hoped Charles would understand.
With bated breath, Ben stepped before them. Charles eyed him. "Well? Did you do it?"
"We had a-" he hesitated, "Complication." Just then, the child decided to wail and all eyes turned to the bundle he was holding in his arms.
Charles' brows furrowed. "I'm sorry...is that a...baby?" It was very quiet all of the sudden and Ben's heart thumped wildly in his chest. This man was their leader, and he seemed displeased. Which Ben had expected. "Your orders were to exterminate that woman," Charles' tone was hard.
"Why? She's no threat to us. She's insane, Charles. Besides," he licked his lips, "You didn't tell me she had a child. What was it I was supposed to do?"
"Kill it," came the ugly response and Ben felt sick to his stomach.
He shook his head and argued back. "It's not an 'it', this is a child."
Charles looked to Richard and then stood up and approached Ben. "You might find this difficult to understand, Benjamin," he began, "Every decision I've made has been about protecting this island."
"Is killing this baby what Jacob wants?"
There was silence and Ben knew the answer. He waited for Charles to respond. He waited for Richard to intervene, but there was nothing. No one moved to help him. Even young Ethan had taken a step back and out of Charles' view. He licked his lips and then held the child out to Widmore. "Then, here she is. You do it." His eyes never blinked as he stared at his leader. He could see the flicker of surprise on Charles' face as the man realized the tables had been turned.
Within seconds, Charles just smirked. He turned away and walked into his tent, pulling the flap behind him. Ben had angered the man, this much he knew, but he wasn't afraid, and nor did he feel guilty. How could he when he looked down and saw the pink face of the baby staring up at him? Her brown eyes found his and he shifted so that she was once again cradled in his arms.
When Ben looked up, he found that everyone was staring at him, even Richard. The man seemed shocked by the turn of events. He seemed shocked by the sight of the child being held in Benjamin's arms. But no one said anything. No one shouted or protested. And it was Ben who once again broke the silence, this time speaking to Richard. "I'll keep her," he said in a quiet voice and the man only nodded. There was nothing more to say. But Ben's life was about to change forever.
0o0 Flash to Present 0o0
Juliet knocked on the door, and when there was no answer, she walked on in. She didn't spare a second glance around the place as she walked through the living area and down the hall. She stopped when she reached Ben's door and she knocked once.
"Tom told me I needed to come in and check on you," she spoke softly as she entered the room.
He smirked and replied in a dry tone, "Well, thanks for caring, but it won't be necessary. Besides, isn't Jack my surgeon?"
Juliet closed the door and stepped closer, but she stayed a good distance away from the bed. "Tom took Jack to his bungalow to get settled."
"Fine. Then let's get on with it." He tried to sit himself up, but it was futile and ended with him gritting his teeth to fight back a groan. Without saying a word, Juliet walked up to him and helped him. He smiled tightly in thanks and then was silent.
"On a range of one to ten, how much pain do you have?"
"I just had a major surgery, Juliet. What do you think my pain level is at?"
Juliet scowled at his tone. "You can continue to be a complete ass, Ben, or you can just shut up and let me do my job." She watched as his eyes widened in shock. She had never spoken to him like that before.
"Alright, Juliet, alright," he replied calmly, "But you must understand my contention. Not everyone is comfortable with letting their would-be killer become their doctor."
Her eyes flashed in anger. "Can you blame me? Can you honestly blame me, Ben, for wanting you dead?"
"Yes, Juliet, I-"
"You killed him, Ben! And you just expect me to forget about that? To just move on and act like it never happened? Like everything is fine?"
"I didn't kill him, Juliet! Ana Lucia did."
"But that's what you wanted, and that's exactly what you knew would happen!"
Ben let out a loud sigh of frustration and strove to maintain calmness, or at least the illusion thereof. "Juliet, is this what we've been reduced to? One minute we're exchanging pleasantries, and the next we're ready to tear each other's throats out. I don't want that. I never wanted that."
Juliet just nodded. "Fine, if you want me to act as if everything is normal, I will. But don't ask me to like you."
"I'm not asking anything, and you don't have to pretend with me."
"I think I do."
She crossed her arms and just stared at him until the hardness of his eyes grew to be too much for her to bear and she had to look away. "...thank you by the way. I know I should be dead by now."
"Don't thank me, Juliet. It was Jack who bargained for your life. It would seem that you'll finally be getting off this island after all." She looked at him in confusion. He sighed and began to explain. "In exchange for finishing the surgery, Jack wanted me to let you go free. I believe the submarine leaves at the end of the week."
"I'm going home?" She echoed in disbelief. Ben merely nodded and Juliet decided to leave the matter alone for now. Her heart was soaring, but he looked miserable. "So..." she began awkwardly. "How's Alex?"
Ben scoffed. "I've lost all hope, Juliet. She hates me."
"You tend to have a habit of doing that," she replied coldly. Ben's eyes grew sad but she didn't even try to rectify what she had said.
"Perhaps you are right. But she's still my daughter. Why can't she see that what I did was for her own good?"
"Because attempting to brainwash her boyfriend was really the best way to handle the situation," she replied sarcastically.
"Thank you for your opinion, Juliet." His voice was dripping with an equal amount of sarcasm. Then, he looked down at the comforter and began to fiddle with it. "Never mind, Juliet. You honestly believe I'm getting what I deserve. You can leave now." It was silent for a moment and he thought that Juliet must have actually left, but when he looked back up, he saw that she was still standing there. Her eyes were hard, her arms were crossed, and she seemed to be deep in thought. Ben just stared at her.
"You can do nothing but give her time," Juliet finally spoke, "And hope that she has it in her to actually forgive you for all the pain you've caused her."
"She's nothing like she used to be." He sighed. "It's like she's not even my daughter anymore."
0o0 Flashback 0o0
Three days after the Purge...
Richard knocked on the door and when he heard a shout to enter he did so without hesitation. What he saw shocked him. The entire bungalow was in utter chaos. He had never seen the place look so neglected. And this was Ben's home. The man prided himself on his neatness.
"Ben?" He called as he stepped cautiously threw the mess of pillows, clothes, and nappies. "Are you alright?"
"I'm in here!" Came a voice. It was snappish and Richard could sense the irritation. He walked down the hall, toward the source of the sound, and into a room that was painted a pale pink. The room was bare, save for a few items that they had been able to salvage from the empty bungalows. There was a crib and a dresser, a changing table and a rocker. And in the center of it all stood Ben, his back to Richard. Alex was draped over his shoulder and he was rocking back and forth on his heels.
"Shhh," Ben whispered but his voice was far from gentle. "Shh, can't you just sleep? I've fed you, washed you, changed you twice. What else could you possibly want?"
Richard nearly laughed, but he managed to contain it. "Having trouble, Ben?"
Ben whirled around and frowned. "She hasn't slept for nine hours. I don't know what's wrong with her."
"Here, let me take her," Richard held out his arms and Ben relinquished the child to him. It was a matter of minutes before Alex finally settled down. First, she stopped her screaming, and then, she began to coo. When Richard finally placed her down in the crib, the child's eyes began to droop until she started snoring softly.
Ben let out a barely audible sigh of relief, lest he wake her up, and then he walked out of the room and down the hall, not even caring to pick up the stray items he had thrown on the ground in his distress. When Richard finally got a good look at the man's face, he saw big gray circles under his bloodshot eyes. He looked exhausted and his entire frame seemed to tremble. "Want some tea? I'm making some tea." Ben reached for the tea kettle and filled it with water. But when he reached for the mugs, they both slipped from his shaking fingers and crashed upon the counter top. "Damn," he swore, but he didn't even try to pick the broken pieces up.
Richard observed him and gave him a strange look. "You alright, Ben?"
"Of course I'm all right," he snapped back, "Just tired."
"You seem...frazzled." It was true. Ben never cracked under pressure, that was one thing Richard had admired about him. But he was visibly shaking, and he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. Richard frowned. "Is this about your father?" He asked. Ben's head shot up.
"Of course not. It's never about him," he spat out.
Richard nodded. "It's alright to feel this way, Ben. It's only been three days since all of that happened. But they needed to be purged so that a new generation could arise and rule the island. They all, including your father, needed to die."
"Spare me the lecture, I've heard it all before." Ben sighed tiredly. "Why are you here?"
"To see how you are getting along with Alex."
"Well," he sighed again, "I guess it's as it should be expected, considering I've only been taking care of her for three weeks now."
Richard nodded. "Do you need any help?" Ben just shook his head, some of his old stubbornness returning. The tea kettle whistled and Ben grabbed a new set of mugs, this time without breaking either of them. He didn't look up at Richard when he handed him his cup of tea, and the man knew that something was still bothering him. "Ben..." he ventured cautiously, "Besides your father, was there anyone else that you lost? Anyone you cared about?"
"No," came the all-too-sharp reply and Richard decided to drop the topic.
"Alright," he replied softly. He took a sip of tea and gulped it down quickly when the burning hot liquid scathed his throat. "But it's only natural to grieve, Ben. A life lost is never something to take lightly. If you didn't grieve, then I would question what kind of a man you were."
Ben was silent and just nursed his cup. He thought of telling Richard everything that was on his mind. Alex had never cried this much when she had been here. He scrubbed his worn face with his hand.
Richard noticed how much older the man looked than his tender age of twenty-four. He frowned again and pushed aside his cup of tea, left unfinished. "Well," he gave a reassuring smile. "I have other business to attend to, other people to see. If you need anything, you just let me know. Okay?" Ben nodded his thanks and Richard got up.
The moment the door closed, Ben felt a split second of relief. Then, he heard Alex start to scream all over again. As he groaned and began to walk back down the hall towards her room, he couldn't think of anything else that he wanted to do more than to just scream himself.