Disclaimer: No, I do not own Erik. He is simply borrowed for my own purposes.

AN: Black ribbon roses to all those who review!

Chapter 14

"Ms. Anne?"

Waking up was something I did not want to do. I fought to hold on to sleep as long as I could but the ever pressing voice was trying to get me to leave the brief recess of reality. I had dreamed of Mama, and I was sure that I would dream of her every time I closed my eyes. In this dream, we were still living in the country house, and she was sitting at the table writing a letter. I was simply watching her, not moving, not speaking. She wasn't say anything but her lips moved as she mouthed the words she was penning to paper. And that was all. It wasn't a dream of any great consequence but I saw her, as she once was. Carefree, healthy…and alive.

"Ms. Anne, you must wake up. There's a note for you and I believe it's from your grandmother."

I had no choice to be awake, though I had slept so little since yesterday. I had tossed between emotions of sorrow and anger. It was an unquiet sea of toil, to which ever sunlit hour seemed to bring with it more unrest. I was glad it was Jane who woke me. I had not had much of a need of her since living in Paris. I had always been able to take care of myself, and I knew she liked her independence, after I was seen to, of course. She had taken the time to move between the different sections of the Opera House, though she spent most of her time in the kitchen telling the Cook what to feed me. At times, I took her for granted, but it always pleased her that I at least recognized that I did.

"Jane, I have no desire to hear any sort of excuses or reasoning from my grandmother."

"Ah, Ms. Anne. That's the pain talking. She is your family, and family connections are worth preserving…no matter how painful the connection may be. Elizabeth will be introduced to all sorts of society here, and as rank is rank, I think it would make your mother happy to know that you had some friends from all walks of life."

Jane always had a way of saying things that would make me believe Mama would truly want me to do. I had Mama's tendency of being uninterested with the fashionable world, but knowing people for who they were rather for what they seem to be was the sign of a good person. Mama never judged anyone. She always took the time to get to know a person, rather than the society.

I sighed, and sat up in bed. I leaned against the pillows as Jane lit a few candles. "What does it say?"

"I haven't opened it, Ms. Anne." Jane handed me the correspondence which I opened.

My darling Anastasia,

Dear Elizabeth has told me of the great shock you sustained upon the knowledge of the death of your departed mother. I understand what terrible distress this brings you, and I would very much like for you to come and visit with me while I stay here in Paris to assist your sister in her upcoming nuptials that are going to push her forth into such a high standing in society. We shan't be staying in Paris long, of course. Merely, a week or two, but it would be right and proper for you to be seen associating with your family. The carriage will be sent for you and your things tomorrow at half past twelve. I expect to see you here soon, and to assist us in every way needed as is your duty and responsibility.

Sincerely,

Grandmama

P.S. Jane will not be needed. Do be a dear, and break the news to her. Gently, of course.

"Well, I positively hate the woman!" Meg huffed, sitting next to me at the dinner table. I had read the letter to Aunt Giry and Meg who had done me a great service by taking me out to dinner at a small restaurant very much out of the way. They both thought that I couldn't stay in the Opera House and just wither away. There had to be a balance between socializing and solitude.

"Meg!" Aunt Giry admonished.

"Well, don't you?" Meg asked. "She sounds positively dreadful! Imagine, uprooting Anne like at, after she's been with us for months! And demanding that Anne dismiss Jane without any sort of word of gratitude. She's a horrid woman, Anne, and I insist that you not return to her!"

I took a sip of water to hide the smile tugging at my lips.

"We have only been Anne's family for a few months, Meg. She has been with her grandmother for years, and with her sister for even longer." Aunt Giry gave Meg a silencing look as she was getting ready to carry on the tirade. "Anne, the choice is yours, as it always is. But you must look at the long term effects of whatever choice you make."

I nodded fully comprehending her meaning, but Meg was a little less aware."

"What do you mean, Mother?"

She sighed and rubbed her temple before answering. "I mean that Anne will have the opportunity to do and to be a lot more than if she continues to live at the Opera House. You and I, Meg, have not the means to thrust her forward into society as her sister has already done."

"But if I were to stay at the Opera House, I would be happy."

"Anne, you stay in the Prima Donna's rooms because it is the wish of your departed mother. Now that she is gone, it is most likely that the Managers will stop receiving any sort of allowance to keep you there."

I had not known that mother had put forward any money to keep me in Paris but it made sense why I was placed in such a good room instead of in the dormitories like I had assumed.

"Your grandmother, I have no doubt, will pull any sort of funds away from you just to keep you close to her."

"I've been poor and destitute once, Aunt. I can do it again." I took a bite of my salad, hoping that she would stop this conversation. If I was to leave, I didn't want my last night with them to be filled with contention and arguments.

"Well, I hope you stay." Meg reached over and took my hand. "I couldn't ask for a better cousin or friend."

I smiled back at her and squeezed her hand. "I have certainly enjoyed my time at the Populaire."

"All the more reason for you to stay."

"But, Anne, the choice is yours." Aunt Giry's expression was hard to read. I couldn't tell if she wanted me to stay or if she wanted me to go.

But there was also Erik to think about. I hadn't forgotten him during the entire upheaval. He was another person to include in all of this. I felt guilty leaving just after we began our…arrangement? Friendship? Well, whatever the word for it, I couldn't leave him…could I?

"Excuse me, would you?" Meg got up and left the table to go to the ladies' room. I waited until she was out of ear shot before speaking.

"I saw Erik today." My voice was just above a whisper, but she heard me.

She appeared to be unfazed but my admission. "I'm surprised he's kept away from you for so long."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been practicing out in the open for three months now, Anne. Erik can recognize talent quite well. It was only a matter of time."

"So, you're saying you wanted this to happen."

"No, I'm saying that it's something that eventually he would have noticed. You've made no effort to hide your love of the arts."

"Should I have?"

"It would have been better if you had."

"It would be almost easier if you were." I recalled her words from when I first arrived at the Opera House. I had made a remark if she had wished me to be plainer than I already was.

"You think I'm going to become another Christine." I whispered it more to myself than to her as if suddenly putting the pieces together.

"Anne…"

"From what I recall, Christine was a singer and quite beautiful. I am neither, so I think you'll have nothing to worry about. He is simply helping me further along my skills as a pianist and in return, I help him ease away the hours of solitude."

"You can't be serious."

"I'm just trying to help. I'm not going to become his next obsession. There's no possibly way that will happen."

"That's what your mother said," was her cryptic reply.

I almost demanded that she explain, but Meg returned and sat down in her chair. The subject, for the time being, was closed.

I had not had the opportunity to continue my conversation with Aunt Giry after leaving the restaurant as she and Meg were quick to retire. I supposed that she had enough to say on the subject and I was now left to my own devices. The choice seemed so easy, but I knew that there would be consequences whatever the decision. I hadn't actually given my word to Erik about our arrangement, but I felt obligated. No one, regardless of past circumstances, deserved to be withheld from human interaction or from any act of kindness. I had to talk to him, though. He had a right to know…didn't he?

I sat in front of my vanity, preparing for bed and for tossing over the decision. I had much to do for my sister who in truth did deserve every chance to be happy. I could come back to the Opera House after my sister was married and begin my studies with Erik. I surely wouldn't be needed after the wedding, and certainly not during the honeymoon. Any obligations towards them would be finished.

But could I even consider them my family after they kept the death of my mother a secret? My blood boiled in remembrance of how Elizabeth acted. She was so cold, so callous, and so fake! How could I even consider tying myself to them after all of this? Why would I want to? Elizabeth and I hadn't been close ever since father's death and Grandmother's obvious preferment of her to me, only solidified that fact. I had no use them except to be useful and to be of service.

"I would hate to be on the receiving end of your anger, mademoiselle.

I jumped up from my seat and whirled around and found Erik standing in front of my floor length mirror. "How…did you get in here?" I asked, once my heart had regained a steady rhythm.

"This place has many hidden passageways and corridors. I simply used one."

I frowned at him, but resumed my seat. "I find myself with a problem."

"And that caused you to look as if you would rip someone's throat out."

"You would feel the same way if your family kept the death of your mother secret."

Erik was silent for a moment. "Considering I have no family to call my own who would do such a thing, I can't really say that I would."

"Let me rephrase. You would feel the same way if Aunt Giry kept the death of your precious Christine a secret." The moment I said it, I regretted it. Erik had no cause to be the recipient of my anger.

"You're very direct in your words."

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to take my anger out on you." I put my head in my hands and sighed. "I've been asked to go and live with my grandmother while my younger sister buys her trousseau here in Paris and makes all the preparations for her wedding."

"We have an agreement, Mlle Hillcrest."

"Have you think I've forgotten? It would make me happier than words can say to be able to practice with someone as proficient as yourself, but I have an obligation to my family."

"A family that keeps secrets from you? Hardly sounds like they deserve the word 'family' associated with them."

"You don't understand. I owe a great deal to my grandmother for taking my family out of the terrible situation we were in, and I should return her kindness."

"Giving up something you love hardly sounds like a fair price."

"I'm not giving up music, just postponing it."

"Forgive me, if I'm not so apt to believe you. I've seen people like them a hundred times over. They will find a use for you until you dry up and become nothing more than an automaton without feelings and without any mind of your own."

"And if I stay?" I stood up and walked towards him, my anger rising. "I cannot ask my Aunt to keep me on, and I can't keep staying here at anyone else's expense."

"Would you be happy here?"

"Of course I would but…"

"And if I remember correctly, all your mother wanted for you was your happiness. The answer seems simple."

He didn't understand that it was not that simple. For him, to choose between music and anything else was a choice that wasn't hard to make. But me…

"Why are you so concerned for me to stay?"

"You have a gift," he replied, after a moment's thought. "It needs to be refined and shared.

"I will never sing, you do realize that. I will not become another Christine Daaé, you do understand?"

"You could never become like her." The anger that dripped from that sentence scared me. "There's no way in all of Heaven or Hell that you could be like her. You have not her beauty, or grace, or angelic disposition."

"I don't need to be compared to someone who chose wealth over music, Erik. Get out!" I pointed to the door, even though I knew he didn't enter from there.

He didn't say another word to me as he stormed out of my room, leaving me to cry my own tears of pity, confusion, anger, and sorrow.