Meredith glanced over at her silent best friend, slumped over in the passenger seat; forehead leaned up against the glass. Cristina hadn't said much after she'd awoken from her fretful sleep and demanded they vacate the apartment. So they had quickly and efficiently packed up Cristina's most important belongings and shoved them into Derek's car, which they were now driving back to Meredith's house. Well, Meredith was driving, Cristina was... drifting. She hadn't said a word since she had closed the car door and jammed on her seatbelt. Meredith got it; at least she hoped she did. It was some sort of closure thing that Cristina was doing so silently. Leaving the apartment. Moving out. It was a closure thing. It had to be. She could only hope it was a good thing.
She sighed, glancing tiredly at the clock. It was well after midnight. She had gotten about an hour of sleep on Cristina's couch before Cristina had jolted her awake. It wasn't near enough, even for her intern adapted body. Not when she had been burning the candle at both ends trying to study for the exam, deal with Susan's death and then throw a party the night before. She was exhausted.
She wondered what had happened to Derek. She had called him, but had gotten his voice mail. She assumed he was in surgery, and wondered if he was still at the hospital. Her phone had been turned off all evening, not wanting to be distracted. Cristina deserved her utmost attention right now. But still...she could really do with hearing his voice right now. She almost smiled at the thought, and settled for a content sigh.
Remaining silent, Meredith easily navigated the streets toward her house, pullied into the driveway and shut off the engine. Before she could speak, Cristina was up and out of the car, already opening the back door to pull out her overnight bag. Meredith followed as quickly as she could.
"You mind if we leave everything else till tomorrow? I'm too tired to unload tonight." Cristina said more than asked. Meredith was still stepping out of the car.
Meredith nodded. "I'm sure its okay. Derek's probably stuck at the hospital anyway. He won't care if his car is full."
Cristina seemed to jolt a bit, as if just noticing she had not been in Meredith's jeep, and that the vehicle before them was, in fact, Derek's car. "Good," she finally said. And with that she was striding up to the front door.
Meredith hurried after her best friend, quickly opening the door and ushering the two of them inside. It was dark in the front hall and the whole house smelled of baked goods. She sighed, hoping Izzy was reacting to the stress of the non-wedding and not something else. If something else was going on, then she felt guilty, because she hadn't noticed.
Meredith pushed past Cristina, just meaning to stick her head in the door to check on her roommate, but was surprised when Cristina pushed her through the door.
"Hey!" Izzy exclaimed. "You guys are here. Awesome. You want some muffins? Or cupcakes? Or maybe some cake, I made two; different flavours. I'm trying out some new recipes."
"Calm down, Martha Stewart," Cristina said. "Who're you trying to impress." But she made her way to the counter anyway, picking out a cupcake with yellow frosting.
"Izzy, what are you doing up so late?" Meredith questioned.
Izzy shrugged, avoiding the question. "Just feel like baking."
"You know, Izzy, you should stay up all the time baking, like all baking and no sleeping. You could make a living at it. Cause these are good cupcakes," Cristina was already starting on her second, this time she chose one with purple frosting.
"Are you okay?" Izzy asked after a stretch of silence in the kitchen, the only noise being Cristina's hurried chewing.
Cristina nodded. "Yes, Izzy, I'm fine, and no, I don't want to talk about it. But I will take you up on a piece if cake."
"Oh, okay." There was a stretch of excitement in Izzy's voice. "You can try my new recipe. I think its better, but I can't be sure. And no one else was here, except Derek, and he didn't want any." She pulled out a large knife and expertly cut out a piece of cake.
"Derek was here?" Meredith questioned, watching Izzy expertly scoop the cake onto a plate without it losing any of its form. She almost shook her head. Her roommate had such an array of unusual and unrelated talents.
Izzy easily passed the plate across the counter to Cristina with one hand, while reaching for a fork with the other. She nodded. "Uh huh. Still here actually. Got home a couple hours ago. Said he was going to bed." She dropped the fork down on Cristina's plate. Then she smiled, turning her attention to her roommate. "And Mer, if he's going to live here, I mean really live here, you have to get him off the health kick. It's not good for my ego. I don't think he's ever tried my baking."
Meredith was slightly stunned, but chose to ignore most of the words that had come spewing out of Izzy's mouth. "So, he's here? Now?" She asked, her thoughts on other things. She hadn't even realized...
Izzy nodded.
"Okay," Meredith said, happy at the knowledge that she was simply in the same building as him. Although she was struck by the sudden compulsion to run upstairs, just to see him. That's all she needed right now. She just needed to see him.
"It's okay, Meredith," Cristina was saying between bites of cake. "You can sleep with McDreamy. I can crash on the couch."
Meredith shook her head. "No, you won't. I can't let you sleep on the couch." And she wouldn't, not tonight. She would not let her best friend sleep on a couch the night she was supposed to be in a fancy hotel, in a super pricey honeymoon suite. "I'm sure there's something..." She thought quickly. She could drag Derek out of bed. They could share the couch again. She smiled a little at the thought. Two fully grown adults sharing a small couch for the night hadn't been the most comfortable, but it had been nice. Especially when she had awoke in the early hours of the morning, his arms wrapped just as tight around her as it had when they had fallen asleep hours earlier. She had only been aware for a few short moments, but when she had shifted slightly before falling back to sleep, he had unconsciously shifted behind her, tightening his grip. And she had fallen back into the depths of sleep feeling loved, a smile playing on her face.
"Oh!" Izzy suddenly piped up, pulling Meredith from her thoughts. "You can have Alex's room. He's not here."
"See? Problem solved." Cristina muttered through a mouthful of cake.
"Oh-kay," Meredith sighed as she tumbled into the counter seat beside Cristina. She yawned and picked at a muffin. Even in her exhausted state, she had to admit the muffin was good. How could Izzy be so good with patients and with baking? It seemed implausible to her. Give her a scalpel any day, just leave the measuring cup behind.
"Good muffin, Iz," she nodded to her roommate.
Izzy smiled happily. "Do you want a piece of cake too?" She picked up the knife again, hopeful. She really did like sharing her food. And she really did make a lot when she was on one of her binges. Before George had moved out, he and Meredith had made jokes about Izzy's future children; Izzy's future, very fat children.
Meredith shook her head. "No thanks, maybe tomorrow." She yawned.
"Why don't you go to bed?" Cristina asked, now half way through her cake slice.
Meredith shook her head. "No, I'm alright." She didn't want to leave her best friend alone.
Cristina paused, fork on the way to her mouth, and stared a Meredith, considering her for a few seconds. Then she rolled her eyes. "Go to bed, Mer," she demanded. "You're obviously exhausted."
Meredith shook her head again. "I'm fine, Cristina."
Now Cristina was glaring at her. "I don't need a babysitter, Meredith."
"That's not what I'm-"
"Oh, don't lie to me. I know exactly what you're doing. Poor Cristina!" She exclaimed. "Burke left her at the altar, and now she can't be left alone. Now she needs a babysitter." Cristina had dropped the fork back onto her plate, still glaring at Meredith. Izzy had backed away from the counter, not wanting to be a part of the argument.
"Cristina..." Meredith began, not sure what to say. Other than breaking down and crying when Meredith had shown up at the apartment, Cristina had yet to have any sort of outburst.
"No, don't Cristina me, Meredith." She continued. "Today was a crappy day, probably the crappiest day of my life, or at least a close second. But I'll be fine. I don't need a babysitter. I'll be okay." She glowered at Meredith.
Meredith hesitated before responding. "Hey, you're my best friend. I'm allowed to be worried." She spoke, meeting Cristina's eyes evenly as she stared back.
They stood, stock still for several seconds, staring each other in the eye. It was almost reminiscent of staring contests from grade school. Then Cristina snorted and rolled her eyes.
"Whatever," she muttered, going back to her cake.
Meredith smiled, the tension noticeably dissipating from the room. Izzy cautiously re-approached the counter. Meredith grabbed herself a cupcake. It had blue icing.
"Good cupcakes, Iz," she echoed her own earlier praises of the muffins as she peeled the wrapper off half of the cupcake and took a large bite.
"Thanks, but I know." And the rest of the tension was gone as they all laughed.
Meredith yawned again.
Cristina rolled her eyes again. "Seriously, Mer, go to bed. I'll be fine. The iron chef here is obviously not going to bed any time soon. I'll have company" she said. "And as many baked goods as I can eat." She added. "Carbohydrates make good therapy."
Meredith hesitated, barely succeeding in suppressing another yawn. "Are you sure?" She finally asked.
Cristina nodded emphatically.
"Okay, then I guess I'll go to bed. If you need anything, just come and get me."
Cristina scoffed and rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, I'll just come and pry you out of McDreamy's arms."
Meredith sighed. "Cristina."
"Hey, I don't need to walk in on anything. I've seen enough of the two of you."
Meredith felt her cheeks redden, but tried to make light of it. "It's not my fault you come over at all hours and don't knock."
Cristina scoffed. "Whatever," she muttered.
Meredith smiled. "So," she prompted.
"Fine, I'll come and get you if I need you. But don't expect me to need you. I'll be fine." Cristina had forgone the eye rolling and was back to digging in to her cake. She'd already motioned Izzy for a second slice.
"Okay," she agreed. "Goodnight." She nodded at both Cristina and Izzy as she stepped away from the counter, still piled high with muffins and cupcakes. She made a quick, pointed look at Izzy, silently telling her to come and get her if Cristina needed her, but was too stubborn.
"Nghhht," Cristina muttered through a mouthful of cake.
"Good night, Meredith," Izzy called, nodding her head in acknowledgment of Meredith's request. She smiled, already mixing a new batch of something that would become a delicious baked good.
Meredith sighed as she made her way up the stairs. There was definitely something going on with Izzy. But that would have to wait until another day.
She pushed open her bedroom door, a smile pushing through the tiredness evident on her features. Derek was sprawled out on his side, right in the middle of the bed, her pillow clutched tightly in his arms and his legs splayed. He didn't wake as she shut the door behind her. He also didn't wake as she quickly made her way through the bathroom, brushing her teeth and readying for bed.
Derek still hadn't stirred when she stumbled out of the bathroom, stripping down to her underwear, and wandering over to the dresser to pull out some pyjamas. She reached out for the handle of the second drawer, but paused before moving her hand down a drawer and pulling out a tee shirt, much larger than any in her wardrobe. She donned the tee and smiled at the feeling of the thin, soft material. There were definite pluses to having him around.
She turned to smile at him, and it was only then that she realized he still hadn't moved. He was usually such a light sleeper, waking to small sounds and movements. She eased herself onto the bed, tilting her head as she smiled at his still expression. Something was definitely going on in his world. Even in sleep, his expression wasn't fully peaceful. She sighed, reaching back in her mind, trying to bring forth a memory that would explain his behaviour. He had been so supportive all week, and only started acting funny after the tension was over, after she had passed her exam. So, he had put his own suffering on the back burner... for her? Had she been so distracted by her own life that she hadn't even noticed his pain? She swallowed hard, trying to rid herself of the lump taking up residence in the back of her throat. She had let him down.
The thought brought tears to her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, tenderly brushing a stray hair out of his face. He stirred, but didn't wake. "I love you, Derek. And I'm here for you, too." With that, she gently pried her pillow out of his arms, and quickly replaced it with her own body. He immediately tightened his arms around her, pulling in close before resettling, his breathing returning to normal.
Even in her exhausted state, she remained awake for several minutes, just listening to him breathe behind her. She wasn't a very lucky person. She hadn't had an easy life. And she really hadn't had an easy week. But right now, at this moment, with his strong arms around her, she was thankful. She was thankful for everything, because it had led her to this point in life. She had started out the year with one parent, and somehow had lost three. She had almost died twice. She had been there when her friends had lost loved ones. And her best friend was in pain, having gone through a horror Meredith could barely imagine. But right now she couldn't stop the small wave of happiness sweep over her as she lay there in his arms. Because she had him. She breathed deeply, closing her eyes and slowly drifted to sleep.