A/N: IMPORTANT! There is mention of a past suicide attempt and just general angst ahead so be forewarned!

Alright, now that that is out of the way, hope you guys enjoy a chapter that got away from me a little on the sad side (sorry) and is from Kili's perspective! Thanks for reading!

Also, I edited the last chapter because there were a few words missing towards the end, just a random heads up that doesn't make much difference. Alright, I'll shush now. ;)

He was going mad.

He was going mad, he was going mad, he was, no matter what Bilbo told him, or the reassurances his brother gave through the sound of the hobbits voice.

Okay, so he wasn't quite there yet, he could still appreciate the red-haired elf, Tauriel, when she came visiting on her nightly rounds, and sometimes on mornings, and once or twice in the afternoons, but even so.

He thought he'd been doing a pretty excellent job of convincing the elf maiden he was wrongly imprisoned. She seemed sympathetic to his plight. Maybe, just maybe, she'd look the other way when Bilbo got them out if he asked her to.

Speak of the devil… "Kili."

"Tauriel," he said, making sure to add a little lilt to the end of her name just as he raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"And how is your cell treating you this fine evening?" she asked, a playful sort of smile on her lips.

Even though he was only chatting her up as a tool towards their escape, he still could appreciate the small curve of those red-

He shook himself from his thoughts as he continued the ritual, "Beautifully, my lady. Couldn't ask for anything more, except perhaps… a window," he leaned against the bars, "or a bit more freedom of movement."

"Neither request is one I can grant," she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest, "Have any more wild stories to tell me about you and this best friend of yours?"

His mind blanked for a minute- she hadn't stopped by his cell in what felt like days, and might actually have been despite her usually regularity. His best friend? Fili, probably, so he'd given a fake name, fake description…

"There's always more stories," he grinned, pretending like his pause hadn't been too long, "And half of them probably wouldn't be appropriate for a refined individual such as yourself."

She gave a small laugh, "I assure you, I am no lady. No matter, I am only down this way to gather a member of your company for questioning. I do not have time enough for them anyway. Thraunduil is upset by his lack of progress… I'm not sure what he's planning for today, but it can't be anything good."

She waited to see if he would react to that, but this too was an old ritual and he simply shrugged, "I'm not sure what progress he wants to make, considering there isn't anything else we haven't told him."

Tauriel nodded, "I have tried to explain that to him. He does not seem to want to listen… and so I am off to find Dwalin again."

This had to have been the third or fourth time she'd mentioned him recently, "Popular dwarf."

"I guess that is the case," the red-haired elf shrugged, and even that motion carried a grace and elegance that astounded him.

She left without another word, and he sighed, leaning back against the stone again.

He was going mad.

There was a long stretch of time in which he was alone. He thought he heard Bilbo whisper something, but after the third time investigating only to find nothing, he gave up.

Eventually, the sounds of a party trickled down to him. He wondered what the elves were doing to cause so much noise that it would echo down to the dungeons, but then realized he didn't really want to know.

He was jealous, however, that they got to have a celebration, and he was stuck here.

It only took him about sixteen heartbeats to be bored of listening and pull out his rune stone.

He'd managed to keep ahold of it despite the fact that they'd been searched so thoroughly, something he could thank Nori for. The patterns on it glittered in the fire light, making the words stand out all the much more.

"Come back to me," his mother whispered as she pulled him into a hug, pressing the stone into his gloved palm, "do you understand me? You'd better come back."

"Mum," he protested, "We'll be back in no time, before you'll even notice we're gone or have time to worry."

"I always worry about you, my reckless boy," she said sadly, patting his arm.

He (apparently still a boy) was a good head and a half taller than her (even Fili had a few inches on their mother) but she could take out an entire army of goblins with a frying pan if she needed to. So it startled him more than a little when she choked back a sob.

Fili rounded the corner from where he'd been snatching up one of his forgotten boot knives, "Kili, what did you do?!"

"Nothing, I-"

"No, no, it's not his fault, it's…" she stepped forward, reaching up to brush some hair away from his face, "you've just started to cope and now…"

She didn't need to say what she'd meant, they all knew that you didn't mention the months after Kili'd been changed, you didn't mention Fili finding his brother on the storeroom floor in a puddle of his own blood the third time he'd nearly killed someone because he couldn't stop himself from shifting. You didn't mention how Fili stopped eating, how they stopped talking, how angry he'd been at his brother until he realized it wasn't anyone's fault. You didn't mention Thorin finding the two of them literally at each other's throats, knives unsheathed and doing damage, you didn't mention it. You just… didn't.

Fili offered a wry smile and caught Kili's eye. The brunette signed back, in a way that hopefully his mother wouldn't see, "Can't believe you left me alone with her. Traitor."

"I saw that!" Dis immediately snapped, "Oh, get out of here you two. I can't believe I ever thought I'd have to worry about you. Or Mahal forbid, actually miss you!"

She sniffed as if to contradict her statement, and Fili grinned.

"Love you too, mother."

"Look after your brother, you hear me? You know what kind of trouble he gets himself into," Dis embraced her elder son, straightening one of his braids, "And Kili, make sure this one doesn't get too caught up Thorin's agenda to take care of himself."

"Disobey Uncle? No problem." Kili smirked, and Dis smacked his stomach.

"He's your king first, never forget that," her smile was softer now, less filled with broken glass, "I love you both. Just promise you'll come back to me."

"Promise," the brunette pecked her cheek and shoved himself out the door, "Thorin's waiting!"

He rubbed his thumb along the rough surface, wondering if his mother was thinking of him.

"What have you go there?" Tauriel's voice made him jump.

"Just a rune stone," he answered easily.

"A cursed one, perhaps?" she asked, her tone light.

He snorted and glanced up at her with a question in his gaze, "Nothing of the sort. Just a token from my mother. A simple reminder of a promise, is all."

He'd been waiting for the right time to tell her of this. Who knew that his mother forcing him to swear he'd return could work so well in his favor? If he had any luck, she'd feel sympathetic for him, more affectionate. He'd up his game the next time he saw her. Was there anyway he could reach her through the bars?

"A promise?"

"Aye. My mother made me swear to come back to her. She thinks I'm reckless."

"And are you?"

"Na," he shook his head, and then something in the air shifted, something he hadn't felt for-

He dropped the stone, dread curling in his stomach.

"Sounds like quite a party you're having up there," he jumped to his feet, trying to distract her from the strange expression he'd had on his face, from the way he'd just let his rock slip through his fingers. Mahal, he was trying to distract himself.

She started talking about stars, but her voice kind of faded to the background while his internal monologue took over. He didn't care about the stars, he wanted to know the state of the moon.

"Is there a full moon tonight?" he tried to ask as casually as he could, but he could tell he must have been off topic or interrupting because she gave him a strange look, holding his stone out to him.

He quickly took it, stashing it back away in what he hoped would be a safe enough location.

"Yes, that is part of the celebration-"

He could hear the blood rushing in his ears. His heart pounded too loudly, his chest was too tight. This couldn't happen here. Thorin would be furious, for one, but who was to say the bars could hold him? What if he hurt someone, an elf? Would Thranduil take it out on the company?

...What if he hurt Tauriel?

Which didn't matter, she didn't mean anything more to him than the rest of the tree-shaggers, but she was standing right in front of him-

He had to convince her to get Fili.

"Are you okay?" Kili finally heard her ask.

From the way she posed it, he could tell it wasn't the first time she'd spoken up, but he couldn't bring himself to worry about that, "You have to find my brother."

"Your-"

"My brother, yes. I know I lied and said that I wasn't related to anyone in the company, I am, I am, and he's a blonde named Fili and he'll understand what's going on if you tell him it's the full moon, although he probably already knows, please, you have to find him and bring him here."

Everything kind of just poured from his mouth after days of lying. Telling the truth felt like a relief.

"Are you ill? What's happening?" Tauriel looked alarmed, her hands straying towards her daggers for some unexplained reason.

"No, I'm no- yes. Yes I'm ill, it runs in my family and my brother will know what to do, please! You have to convince the guard to bring him here else tonight could go very, very badly," he mouth felt like mush, his tongue too; he hoped this was making any kind of sense...

"I'll try-"

"Just hurry!" the words exploded from him harsher than he intended, but she finally seemed to understand that this was an emergency situation even if she didn't necessarily know why.

Every inch of his skin was starting to itch, which was a new development. Normally there just came the pain, in a sudden wave as his body was forced to change.

He sat there, waiting for his finger bones to start moving, waiting for the agony to take over until his vision went black, but the longer he sat there, the less it felt like anything was happening.

The longer he sat there, the more he wanted it to happen, however.

Once again, new development.

It was like something was screaming in his mind that he didn't belong in this shape. Didn't everything feel to tight, too confined? He wasn't built to exist like this on a night like tonight.

But no matter if he had let himself give into the voice or not, there was still the matter of the fact that he wasn't shifting.

It dawned on him then. Was it the cell? Had the wood elves found some kind of magic that suppressed his curse when the entire line of Durin hadn't been successful?

He had no more than finished that thought when Bilbo materialized in front of him, a wicked grin in place.

"I'm happy to tell you, master dwarf, that you are free to go."

And the bars swung open.

A/N: Thank you for reading! :D Next chapter, we have some Thorin, per request (thanks to everyone who commented, it was very much appreciated/helpful) and a bit of Fili to finish off. Don't worry, Bilbo will put in his two sense soon too. :) Comments and favorites are the best, thank you so much to everyone who has done so already (over 100 followers :D!).