Disclaimer: Disney will be pleased to know I am well aware of the fact that POTC does not belong to me. I am aware that Angus Steak might not have existed in that time period.

Parrots and Cows

"The All Knowing One shall bestow upon you great gifts for this act of rescue! He shall ruffle his feathers in gratitude and praise for your selfless act of rescue from the deepest destitute darkness that is called the bilge!"

"Yeah, the parrot thanks them, sure he does…" Oliver replied. He leaned in closer to the two naval officers. "Used to work for some fancy old lady he did, he just doesn't want to seem like he knows all this high-toned rubbish."

Charlie made disappointed clucking noises at him. "You're about a year younger than Ollie and me here and you're showing off like a cock with his feathers? Big words like that- I haven't heard anything like that out of that old parrot so don't you go on about that again."

"How dare you impertinently insult the All Knowing One! You shall pay for this disrespect!" He chased them up a ladder as they laughed in jest at him.

"They seemed happy." Murtogg observed morosely as they arrived at the bilge. Mullroy looked into the darkness. The two carefully stepped in and lit a lantern, hung it and began searching for rats. Ana Maria had thought they could get in less trouble down here if they were occupied with hunting rats.

"How are we going to ask him now?" Mullroy sighed inhaling the awful odor of bilge water that floated in the air. He grimaced as it crept up his nose. "It stinks something awful down here."

"I'll give up mop hating if it'll get me out of this mess…" Murtogg pledged. Mullroy made a strange face- if it was the reaction to his friend's dislike of mops or the atmosphere we may never know. I'll say it was the latter.

Do you know what bilge water is? If you don't I'll be more than obliged to inform you. No matter how well made a ship was water would undoubtedly seep in and it would seep to the lowest deck of the ship and just sit there. If it wasn't pumped out the hull would rot out.

Then of course the ship would sink, which would lead to other problems that really aren't related to the story. Things like people who don't know how to swim being in trouble, captains shouting about how they had always asked people to stop making holes in their ship, boys pleading parrots to save their lives…

"Stop with all the strange, specific details that oddly enough point to the people on this ship!" Mullroy shouted into the lantern lit space. Murtogg's eyes flickered towards him, and then looked from side to side as if looking for someone that had spoken that he couldn't hear. He spotted a rat and dived for it.

"What strange details? I didn't say anything." He added as he knocked the stuffing out of a rat, acting as though the writer of this story hadn't made that strange paragraph. Angus shrugged deciding that it didn't really matter; there was a strange awkward silence. The rats seized this opportune moment to scurry into safe havens.

"Pirates aren't respectable. They break the law." Murtogg stated randomly.

"But one saved our life so if we're going to be pirates we need new names. Why don't you think of some?"

" Ugly Angus and Judge Joe?"

"You think I'm ugly?"

"No-it's just that I-don't-er-"

"Audacious Angus and Jumping Joe!"

"I like it! So your name is the kind of steak right? Angus steak?"

"I'm NOT a cow!"

-- No real rats were harmed in the making of this chapter.--