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My darling girl, but the time you graduated high school I had given up any hopes of ever finding Jasper. The trail was cold, and lets face it, 'Jasper from Houston' was never a very good lead anyway. Although there were moments that my heart ached for him, still, almost fifteen years after I had last seen him, I knew that I didn't really expect anything from him. He was a gorgeous boy, who would have grown into an amazing gentleman.

The one thing I wanted was to tell him that he had a daughter, and that she was beautiful.

A week before we moved to Providence, the night of your prom and final sleepover, Brîska, Bala, Nessa and I went out on a final girls night out. You girls ranged in age from fourteen to eighteen, so we figured it was safe to leave you at home for one last sleepover. After all, we would all be saying goodbye to some close friends in a few short days. To parts of our family.

While you girls sat around at home, eating pizza, doing makeup, and really, god knows what else, we went out to dinner, a movie, and were thinking of going dancing.

Dinner was pleasant, and I greatly enjoyed the company of the women sitting at the table with me. I was sad to know that we wold be leaving them soon, but knew that we would keep in touch. After all, we were only a few hours drive away, far better than the half way around the world like some of my other friends. The conversation flowed easily, and I was glad for a final night with these women.

As we moved from the restaurant to the cinema, we continued chatting. We arrived in the cinema with plenty of time to spare, and despite having just eaten dinner, I ordered a nachos from the candy bar. I rarely ate these any more, and I had not delusions that they even resembled real food, but I had become hooked on them while I was in England. I blame Vere, despite the fact that she didn't eat them herself. She would grab popcorn, which I don't eat, and something had made me try the weird nachos. I loved them, and they became part of my cinema experience. Vere and I went to a heap of films the year we were in England, so I had eaten my fair share of cinema nachos.

Settling into the cinema seats, I relaxed, looking forward to the movie. As always, I watched the trailers, earmarking the ones I wanted to see later. Some seemed a little, well, pointless, or uninteresting to me. Others seemed to have a little bit of potential. I was excited to see one trailer though. The previous year, my favourite book, The Gunslinger had been transformed into a movie. Though I knew how bad the adaptation could potentially be, I had gone to see it and was amazed. The film makers had been incredibly true to the book while making the film interesting and lively, and without making it hideously long. I had never encountered any of the actors before, but thought they all, especially the boy who played Jake, had real potential. I had heard rumours from friends that the second book was also going to be transformed into a film, but had yet to see any real evidence of it.

So, when Roland walked onto the screen, I couldn't help but give a small squeal of joy. Drawing of Three had been turned into a movie! I was in seventh heaven, or there abouts. I continued to watch, eager to see who had been cast as Eddie and Sussannah, when he appeared on my screen.

Jasper.

Jasper was playing Eddie.

If I hadn't been sitting down already, I would have fallen over. As it was, I nearly fainted with shock. The boy I had met had been about to start university. He was undecided about what he was going to do, but was thinking of majoring in history and fine arts, not acting.

But the person on screen was unmistakably Jasper.

I'm not sure what else was advertised before the movie. I'm not even sure what the movie was like. Honestly, I can't even remember the name of what we went to see. I was in a state of shock, numb to the outside world. When the credits rolled and the lights brightened, my friends chatted brightly, and I followed them from the cinema, deep in thought. While they knew about the situation with Isadora's father, I had never given them the full version of the story. Vere and Ad were the only two who I had told, in those days after my initial shock at being pregnant passed.

I have no idea what the girls thought about my behaviour after the movie. But, thankfully, they didn't question it. They let me be a bit numb, making sure I got home safely, before returning home themselves. I briefly checked in with you girls, then locked myself in my room. For the first time since we moved to Ithaca all those years ago, I used the lock on my bedroom door.

As soon as I was locked in and settled on my bed, sitting cross legged with the lap top in front of me, I logged onto imdb, looking up the new Gunslinger movie. Looking for his name. Something that I had wanted for the last fifteen years.

I quickly found the movie, and scrolled through the names of actors. As I scanned the photos, I saw him. His photo reminded me of the guy I had met on my tour. He looked younger, somehow. I moved my eyes across the screen, searching for his name. Next to his picture, there for the world to see, was his name.

Jasper Brandon Whitlock.

I clicked on his name, desperate to find out more of the man that I had stupidly left all those years ago. The man that didn't know of you, his brilliant daughter's existence.

Drawing of Three was not only his first film, but the first and only piece of professional acting listed. He didn't have a bio past his birth date. Mentally calculating, the birth date matched my dates for his age, making him not only look right and have the right first name, but making him the right age. Frustrated with the lack of information imdb was giving me, I moved onto google. I didn't get a whole lot more from google, but I did get his agent's website. Again, I didn't get a bio for Jasper, so had no way of knowing anything else he had done in the last decade and a half.

What I did get, however, was his agent's name. Victoria Samson-Radcliff. All her standard contact details were listed, and I figured that if I contacted him before the movie came out, I wouldn't seem too crazy fan stalkerish.

But first, I had to make some phone calls. I quickly did the calculations of time differences for England and Ottawa, and decided that it was an okay time to call given the circumstances. Quickly, I dialed Vere's number, and when she picked up, I made the conference call to Ad. I knew the phone bill was going to be huge that month, but couldn't find it in myself to care.

Hearing that they were both successfully in the conversation, I started speaking. "So, I have news guys. Are you both near computers?"

They both confirmed that they were, indeed, near a computer and I asked them each to youtube the Drawing of Three trailer.

Once they had both watched it, I started to tell my story. "I went to the movies today. And we saw that trailer. I can't even tell you what the movie was, or if it was any good. All because of that trailer. I was so excited when it came on. I have totally been looking forward to Drawing of Three coming out. I was stoked to see if they had unknowns playing Eddie and Sussannah, or if famous faces were going to jump on the band wagon." Drawing a deep breath, I steeled myself for what I was going to say next. "So, you saw the guy that played Eddie? I imdb'd him. His name is Jasper Brandon Whitlock. He's my Jasper. Isadora's dad Jasper. He's playing a character in one of my favourite books. Books I introduced him to. What do I do? He's going to be all famous now. And I'm just little me. How do I tell about his daughter? How do I explain that I tried to find him, but the tour company wouldn't tell me his name? What if he has found someone else, and doesn't want to know Isadora? What do I do?"

I was wailing by the time I finished talking. I had wanted for so long to have a way to find Jasper, to have some way to contact him, that now I did I had no idea what to do with it.

My darling girl, please don't misunderstand. I haven't had a lack in my life, not really. I know I basically haven't dated since I had you, but I have been happy. I have wonderful friends, a wonderful support network, and most importantly, I have you. You fill me with so much love, that I don't need anything else. Anyone else.

But, it worries me that you haven't had a male influence on your life, that you haven't had a chance to know your father. That fates stepped in and stopped us from having at least a chance of a life together.

It was Ad who replied to my wailings. "Baby girl, calm. Isn't this a good thing? Isn't it something that you have wanted? Maybe Mr Sex-God has moved on, and if he has then it is his loss. You and that beautiful girl are amazing. I mean, she turned fourteen what, yesterday? Last week? And is about to start college! And you, you have matured into such an amazing, beautiful, wonderful woman. He would be insane to not want anything to do with you. And if he has found someone else, then you will have to find a way to deal with that. Because, through no fault on either of your parts, it has been almost fifteen years since you last saw him, almost fifteen years that he has not known about Isadora. He had no reason not to move on.

"But, damn girl, he's hot. Age has agreed with him."

The strangely American phrase sounded so weird coming out of my proper (if highly flamboyant) English friend's mouth that I couldn't help but laugh.

"He doesn't have his own contact details listed, but his agent does," Vere started. "I know it is a gamble contacting him through her, because by adding a third party, messages might get lost or confused, but Lilly? I think Victoria might be your best option for telling him.

"You and Isa are still coming up next week to change you visa, right? Well, we can figure out how to write that letter to him then. Does that sound okay? Can you wait the week?"

Nodding mutely, I realised my friends couldn't see me nodding over the phone. "Yes. Can we skype you Ad?"

"Of course, you silly girl. As if you'd be able to stop me from getting involved in this! I'll fly across there if I have to."

As always, Vere and Ad, my fairee godmothers, had managed to calm me, and I no longer felt like I was going to explode. The world came back into focus, and I began to plan.

The first thing, of course was to talk to you. I looked at the time, and realising it was after 4am. And that you had friends around. So, clearly not the time. But later that day, after I had slept, after your friends had gone home, I knew I would have to talk to you. I just didn't know what to say.

That evening, when I sat you down to talk, I was still at a loss for words. Trying to buy myself time, I showed you the trailer for the Drawing of Three, then the imdb profile for Jasper.

Drawing a deep breath, I blurted out the only words that I could, the words that had been swirling round my head since seeing the trailer at the cinema the night before.

"The guy playing Eddie is Jasper Brandon Whitlock, your father."

I don't really know what I expected from you, but it definitely wasn't the reaction you gave.

"Oh. Good. When do I get to meet him?"

I was too shocked by your response to even think of something to say. I just sat there, staring at you. So you filled the silence.

"Mum, come on. You are still in love with him. Clearly you're going to contact him. And while you seem really freaked out at the moment, you will deal with this. You raised me by yourself, studied for eighteen months of the first two years of my life, and moved us half way across the world so that you could finish your education. You have saved enough for me to go to any school I want, anywhere. You are about to move away from a job that I know you love, just because I want to go to school somewhere else. You taught me three grades, each in a few short weeks. You had the strength to walk away from your parents when they wanted you to adopt me out.

"You're the strongest person I know. And I know that you are happy with your life. But don't pretend you don't miss him, didn't sometimes wish that he was here with us, that he was part of your life. Part of our lives.

"So, you have to tell him. But, I think you should do a DNA profile of me. It might make him, or his management, take you a bit more seriously. Because, I mean, if you're going to go to the trouble of including a DNA profile of the child of his that you claim to exist, it makes it a bit more believable. A bit less 'I'm-a-crazy-stalker-fan', or 'I'm-a-gold-digger-just-wanting-to-get-some-of-you r-fame-and-money'. A bit more like your claim is real.

"And mum, you're amazing. He was clearly very into you fifteen years ago, I mean, I'm evidence of that. He would be stupid not to want to be part of our lives now. And if he is stupid, then that is his loss."

I was so amazed and proud of you at that moment. You were still my little girl, but somehow along the way, you had become this mature being. My gorgeous girl, you calmed me that day, made me believe that it was all going to be okay. You became my rock, my stability.