HB: ENJOY!!

14. Arlong and the Fishmen Pirates

I have one thing to say about fishmen.

Goddamn ugly.

And I'm not talking about bad nose job ugly. I'm talking 'Jesus Christ, Satan has come to Earth an taken all the ugly people and mutated them with fish. God help us' ugly!!!.

One of the fishmen broke my personal bubble, by leaning too close to me. His bottom jaw jutted out further than the top one and an array of teeth erupted from it. He stunk something fierce and breathed heavily on me, causing me to lean back, clenching my teeth. Another one that had a fin, I think, reaching from the top of his head to his neck, leant nearer to Zoro, who was muttering about how he was gonna kill Johnny and Usopp.

"Oh ho! These two have been abandoned" Buck-Tooth fishmen sneered. He pinched my cheek. "Aren't you cute, for an ugly human?" I'M UGLY?!!! Have you ever seen that bright shiny thing called a MIRROR?!

"Get off her!" Zoro yelled, but stopped as Fin-Head fishmen slammed his chest.

"This one is injured as well" he explained, grinning through his…fishy lips. I am gonna beat you freaks so hard, Arlong is gonna feel it!!

"Let's take them to Arlong-san!" Eh?! I don't want to meet him!

"Oh, crap!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arlong, the leader of the fishmen pirates of East Blue, sat before us in a high white beach-chair. With blue skin, a dorsal fin on his back, a sun tattoo imprinted on his chest, gills and a long saw-like nose, he grinned shark-like down at me and Zoro who were still tied together, just in front of a large pool, that led through a gate to the ocean. As Zoro glared up at Arlong, I looked around for an escape route.

Fishmen, all different, stood everywhere blocking all exits. Arlong Park was a large, tall building, that had a large stone walk-around place, where we were now. It had an obvious exit, the gate that led to the ocean, another, a gate that led to the street and numerous exits; over the wall....

There must be more....

Oh, a squishy thing!!!!

"I told you!" Zoro bellowed at Arlong. "We're just looking for a girl! You half-fish freak!"

Arlong cackled. "Shahaha. Strong words from an inferior being...I'll let that slide this time, but I don't want to hear HALF-FISH come out of your mouth again!! We FISHMEN are EVOLVED 'HUMANS' who have gained that ability to live underwater. With our extra fish derived powers, we're higher on the evolutionary ladder than you are....!!!!"

"Why don't you untie us and prove it, Jaws?" I snapped. Damn him for distracting me from the squishy coral!! It is squishy and it'll be mine!!

It'll be my squishy!!!

"What is the point?" Arlong said, guesturing to his fellow fishmen. "The strength that we all naturally hold, stronger than countless of you lesser beings put together, is proof of that!"....But....you're not proving it. "You must get it into your heads that the fishmen are the 'Kings of the Beasts'!!! A human disobeying a fishman is disobeying the laws of nature!!!"

"I'm getting tired of hearing that stupid speech, Arlong". Standing behind Arlong...was Nami.

Nami?

"Wha...!!" Zoro exclaimed.

"Hey take it easy, Nami!" the large fishman said to the smaller girl. "You're different. You're our cartographer, the pride of the Arlong Crew. You draw us incredibly accurate maps!!"

"It's because you're all too stupid to do it yourselves!" Nami scoffed.

Wait...OUR CARTOGRAPHER!!! What the hell, Nami?

"Oi, Nami!" Zoro yelled. "Why are you so friendly with these guys....?!"

"She's part of their crew"

"What?!"

"Do you know each other?" Arlong asked. Nami snorted and walked towards us.

"Don't be stupid. They were just another mark. I made off with a ton of treasure from these guys". She leant closer to us, and I stared back at her, my expression blank. In my mind....I WAS GOING CRAZY!

Why is she wearing long shorts? She had long shorts? WHY DIDN'T I GET TO WEAR THEM?! WHY AM I STUCK WEARING DAISY DUKES?!

DAMN YOU!

Oh, yeah....kidnapped by pirates, Nami stole from us. Must pay attention!!

"Is this your true nature?" Zoro asked the orange haired girl.

"Surprised?" she replied, with a smirk. "I'm an officer of Arlong's Crew. A pirate from the start"

"Witch"

"Shahahahahahaha....." Arlong burst out. "She sure had you fooled. She forgot her OWN PARENT'S DEATH for money! She's nothing but a cold-hearted witch!!"

Nami bit her lip and trembled. Looks like she hasn't forgotten, Arlong.

"Lying and swindling money out of suckers like you is her specialty. And she has us backing her up"

"Not for long" I said. "Nami's coming back home with us, whether she likes it or not"

"Will you guys understand that I stole from you?! I am a member of this pirate crew!"

"Nami, I haven't had anything to eat since yesterday, the smell of fishmen is killing me, and you have stolen my only clothes. So spare me the fake bad guy routine, because you're coming home with us, even if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming and let Sanji have a lot of fun with bondage by tieing you to the mast!" I snapped at her.

"You humans don't realise-" Arlong began.

"Oi, Jaws!" I interrupted him, making him look directly at me. "The humans are talking. So go back into your fishbowl, and shut the hel-!". Nami pulled her staff out of the inside of her tank-top and smashed it around the side of my face. My cheek burning, I fell forwards onto the concrete, Zoro shouting abuse at Nami, while the fishmen roared their appreciation.

"Ow ow freaking ow!" I cried, panting slightly. "I think you actually cleared my sinuses, Orangeade"

"Oi, you okay, Soul?"

"Fine, Zo, fine"

I sat up to see Zoro looking from Nami to Arlong and then at me.

"I see now" he said, smirking. "Well, I never trusted her from the beginning. It wouldn't surprise me to learn she was a murdering cut-throat" Hark who's talking. I hope you're going somewhere with this. "I could tell from the start" he continued. "that you were nothing but trouble"

"That saves time" the navigator smirked. "Now that you realise you got tricked, will you forget about the treasure and my navigation and just diasappear?! Get lost!"

Zoro grinned, wolfishy. "Sorry, Soul" he muttered, before launching himself backwards into the water. I would've been fine but there was that one little problem...

I was frickin' tied to him!!

I was pulled into the water before I could draw breath, so I inhaled most of it. Zoro, if I die here, I am going to hunt you down in the afterlife, and kill you again till you're the deadest guy in Deadonia!!

...............Damn, I can't breathe!!

I looked down, blearily, the salt water burning my eyes, to see Zoro sinking slightly faster than me, and he remained motionless, blinking in the water, a bottomless pit below us. I tied to move against my bonds, but I froze as I felt something grab the back of my shirt and begin to pull me up, as well as Zoro.

If that's one of the fishmen, I am going to burn this top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

............

Air! Sweet beautiful air! I lay gasping on the concrete, soaked completely with Zoro wheezing beside me, and Nami grasping our shirts. Silence rebounded around the enclosure.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Nami asked the swordsman.

"What are YOU playing at?" he replied, grinning. "A LITTLE TOOL WHO CAN'T EVEN WATCH ONE MAN DIE SHOULDN'T BE ACTING TOUGH!!!! Hurry up and help us, you baka. I thought we were gonna die"

Nami shook slightly, before slamming her heel into Zoro's back. He groaned in pain. Bitch!!!

"SCREW YOU!!" she lifted the swordsmans head until she looked straight into his eyes. "Get anymore involved than this and you will DIE!!!

"I wonder..."

"Nice bandage"

"I didn't have anything to change into, so I used them instead"

Nami punched him deep in the chest, causing blood to leak threough the bandages.

"BITCH!!" I screamed, struggling to stand, or even sit up, as Zoro yelled in pain and fell onto the floor.

Nami glanced at me, a strange emotion in her eyes, before she began to walk away.

"Nami, what are you going to do with them?" a fishman asked.

"Lock them up!! I'll finish them off later" I doubt it.

"Arlong-san! Arlong-san!" the buck-toothed fishman came hurrying down the road before came running into the enclosure.

"What is it?"

"We let another guy with a long-nose escape!!"

Crap! Not Usopp too!!!

Please hide, until we get out of here!!!

Or at least wait until Luffy comes!!!

…..Yeah do that!

"I'm guessing he went to Cocoyashi village"

"Cocoyashi...." Arlong mused. "Just the place I need to go". He gave an evil grin.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Come on, Zoro!!"

"HELL NO!!!"

"Please?"

"NO!!!"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE!!"

"Come on. What is wrong with 'I Spy'?"

He just snorted. We had been in a locked room inside Arlong Park for about ten mintues, and I was already bored. I am not happy!!! My cheek still makes me wince slightly, my clothes are wet, and I'm goddamn hungry!!!

..........................

..........................

I HAVE COME UP WITH GREAT NICKNAMES!! HEHE!!!

I giggled, making Zoro glance at me.

"What?"

"Nothing, Jo"

"......What?"

"There's this dude in a manga I read called Joseph Joester or JoJo-"

"'Manga'?"

"....Never mind. Anyway, he was badass, kicked ass, an idiot out of battle, but smart in battle. So now you are JoJo"

"Hell no!"

"HELL YES!"

"DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT!"

"OH YES I WILL!!! YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THE MATTER!! ANYWAY, JOJO'S COOL!! BE GRATEFUL!!!"

"NO!!"

Before I could answer back, the door had opened and Nami stood there....holding a big knife!!!

EEEPP!! It's just like a Hollywood slasher movie!!!

She walked towards us and simply cut our bonds. She threw Zoro's sword on the floor in front of him.

"Get off this island now" she said, as she walked out.

"She's such a great friend, isn't she?". Zoro snorted and began to walk out of the room, me following him.

"Eh, JoJo?"

"WHAT?!"

I clamped a hand on his mouth, shushing him. "How about we play the 'We are innocent prisoners, let's fight our way out' game?" I said, with an evil grin. I felt him smirk beneath my fingers.

Let the games begin!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Ouch!" I whined, rubbing my bruises. We had just finished the tournament of 'Who can batter the hell out of the most fishmen' and Zoro had won....by a lot. Seeing as how I am not the greatest fighter using physical strength, nor do I have a weapon, Zoro had to help stop a few fishmen beating the crap out of me. My body was almost broken at least three times.

Arlong is right. Fishmen are strong....

But nowhere near as strong as JoJo

Do you wanna know why?

..................................

He's Joseph Joester, you fucker!!!!

Pure and Simple.

I kicked an already unconscious fishmen as Zoro removed one of the Hawaiian shirts of another.

"Well...didn't know you were that type, JoJo"

"Shut up" he said, tying his sword to his waist and moving to lounge on Arlong's chair.

I frowned and followed him. "Move"

"Why?"

"I wanna sit in the chair too!!"

"I'm wounded!!"

"I stitched you up!!"

"I'm still wounded!!"

"I'm younger than you!!"

"Exactly, so I keep the chair"

Not wanting to keep up this incredibly childish fight, I pouted. "Fine". He nodded, and closed his eyes. Damn you! I smirked and walked over to him, plonking myself on his lap, and I leant slightly against his injured chest.

"W-what are you doing?!"

"You're actually quite comfortable you know, so stop squirming!"

I heard him splutter like crazy in my ear, before accepting defeat and falling silent.

You have no idea how comfortable a Marimo Chair is!!

It's those muscles. Definitely.

"What's that?"

"Eh?" I craned my neck to look up at Zoro, who was staring at my thigh, his cheeks slightly red. I glanced at it.

"Oh, just a tattoo" I said, scratching the black ink beneath my fingernails, trying to scrape it off. "I hate it. No idea where I got it from"

"It would be like you to get a tattoo like that and not remember where you go it!!"

"OI!"

"MOMOOO!!!!" I jumped as a voice shouted by the beach, just over the wall. Glancing back at Zoro, we both nodded and walked to the wall and looked over the top.

Sitting on the concrete veranda that encircled Arlong Park was a pink octopus-fishmen. Within his six hands he held six fishing rods, and his white hair stood shocked up into spikes. He wore a sort of old-fashioned red bathing suit. He needs fashion tips. He was standing and playing his mouth like a trumpet.

Whoa.....He's kinda cool....for a fishman. He doesn't smell as much as them at least.

I glanced at Zoro who was staring blankly at the fishman.

"Has he already eaten?" the fishman asked himself, holding up a giant barbequed pig. "Maybe I should eat it?"

"Excuse me"

"Nyu!!!" he started and turned round to stare at us. On his forehead was a large tattoo of a sun. All the fishman have one....Must note that down. "Who the hell are you two?! Me?! My name is Hatchan! Call me Hachi!"

"You a fishman?" Zoro asked.

"Of course!! I'm a charming octopus fishman!" Hachi excalimed, proudly waving his arms like a fish or something. "You two look like humans!! You sailors?! Or guests?!"

I glanced behind me where there were piles of unconscious fishmen.

"Guests"

"But Arlong-san's out right now y'know?"

I faked confusion. "He is?" I asked, putting an innocent look on my face. "Do you know where he went, Hachi-san?" Zoro snorted at me.

"I guess there's some long-nose runing around" Hachi said, holding up one finger on three of his hands, so as not to be overheard, even though we were the only ones here. "They said two are being held captive here, but then they had to go find the long-nose in Cocoyashi Village"

"How do we get to that village?" Zoro asked, jumping over the wall, me following him, falling and ending up in an uncomfortable heap.

"Get on!!! You're guests!!!! I'll take you!!!" Hachi said, pointing to a large pot behind him.

"We are going in that, Hachi -san?" I inquired, standing up.

"Yes!! Get in!!! I'll take little girlie and swordsman to Arlong-san!!!" I'll let that comment pass, Hachi. I grinned, skipping over to the pot.

"We're off to save Usopp, that wonderful Usopp of ours!!!"

HB; AU REVOIR!!

Oh, Kisaki Soul would like to apologize for the disgusting language she uses in this and all future chapters, so forgive her