Three months later……….
Leoben is lying awake in his cell, counting the dots on the ceiling. He's done push ups until he can't hold himself up. The boredom is getting to him. He's actually resorted to talking to the voices in his head, which turned out to be frightening. Kara hadn't been to see him in three months; he'd kept count on the bottom of his shoe.
In that time several marines had been sent to interrogate him. Currently he was sporting a split lip and a nasty shiner from the last round. A month ago, one of the marines had kicked him so hard, he'd had two broken ribs. That was when the marines were restricted on how they could hit him. He sighed to himself as he'd lost count of the dots and began again.
Meanwhile in the bunk room Kara has just returned from a shower. She's nervous in a way she hasn't been in years. She's finally convinced the commander to let her in with Leoben without his restraints. The sight of him in restraints wouldn't help Kara come to terms with the situation so she had pleaded and begged with the admiral until he had granted her permission after three months. The admiral only granted it because Kara was losing it. She had lost weight, which left her gaunt and she looked haunted most of the time. Admiral Adama needed all of his pilots in good working order so he'd granted her request.
The time away from Leoben was necessary for Kara. Over the last few months she had sought religious guidance and counseling on letting go of her hatred. It took the first month for her to let go of her childhood and the next two for her to come to terms with the fact that her husband is a cylon. The religious leader had pointed out that if she didn't consciously known before that he was a cylon, why would it make a difference now? She'd given some bullshit excuse about security risks but knew that her fear of him, of what he might be capable of, was controlling her actions.
So Starbuck had finally decided to get over the fear that he would hurt her, because if he hadn't yet all those months ago when he had stayed shackled while he was being interrogated, it was very unlikely that he would now. And she truly believed he loves her. No matter what her brain screams, she knew he loves her. Knew that he gave up his freedom because he trusted she was doing the right thing.
She changes out of her dress blues from teaching and slipped on her sweats. She runs her hands through her short blond hair and looks at herself in the eye one last time before she headed down.
Leoben sits up as the guard slides the door open. The marine is large enough he couldn't see who his visitor is until she steps pasted the marine. He gasps when he sees her. She nods slightly to the marine, who passes a small object to Kara, and then he moves to close the door and moves out of the room all together.
Kara moves slowly across the room. Each step seems labored and difficult. He could hear her heart accelerate even more as she comes closer. He stays sitting on the bed watching her, mesmerized. She kneels at his feet and moves to take the shackles off. He stares at the top of her head.
"Are you real?" He whispers hoarsely. He'd had dreams with her in it that were so real he had cried when he woke up and realized that the dream had never happened. She looks up at him, her hazel eyes locking with his blue ones. He smiles at the surety he sees there. She moves to unlock the shackles at his wrists and finally the one around his neck. She stands upright above him and steps back a fraction. He feels her resist the urge to back up further.
He moves slowly and purposefully as he stands, not wanting to scare her. He steps forward and wraps his arms around her in one motion, before she has time to realize what he is doing. She rests her head against his shoulder and brings her arms up around his back. He buries his face in the side of her neck, breathing in the scent of her. Gods how he had missed her scent. Even after showering it was still there, still Kara. He hears her take a deep breath and he smiles to himself.
"I love you." She whispers, her lips tickling against his neck. He pulls back and smoothes her hair down with one hand as the other moves down to rest on her waist.
"I love you." He says moving his body in close to hers again and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. She doesn't pull back but she doesn't deepen this kiss either. She pulls back from the kiss but doesn't move away. He rests his forehead on hers and breathes in slowly. "I missed you."
"I've missed you too." She chokes out.
"Are you ok?" He asks.
"No, but I'm getting there." She moves her arms around his neck and pulls his face towards hers and really kisses him. He's still mine, she thinks to herself, still the man I know and love. The taste, the smell, his kisses, all the same, she thinks. Why was I afraid of him? She questions. He pulls back panting at the contact. "I'll get there." She repeats looking up at him. He smiles widely as if she's just given him the best present ever.
"How's life in the fleet been?" He asks hugging her tighter.
"Typical. Train, eat, sleep, work out." She purposely leaves out the killing cylons part. It's her job and he knows it, no reason to point it out.
"Any news on how long they intend to keep me under observation?" He asks.
"Not a clue. The admiral seems convinced that you can still be used." She smoothes a hand down his face. "Which is why I suspect you have a few cuts, and aren't floating in space."
"Yes." He agrees. "I wish I could be more useful. Most of the time the stupid voices just tell me to go frak myself. The rest of the time they speak of some destiny. It's been a bit tedious."
"What could they possibly tell you about your destiny? Are they psychic now as well as being flesh toned toasters?"
"Mostly they speak of my destiny with you, but that's as far as they go. They don't tell me what that destiny is just that it's by your side." She pulls back to look at him. "I don't believe that my life was somehow mapped out before either of us was born. That would mean I was destine to be a cradle robbing bastard from the time I was born."
He smirks slightly at their old joke. She smiles faintly.
"Do you think you could have avoided me?" She asks seriously looking up into his face. "Do you think that it wasn't fate that brought us together on Picon?"
"I don't believe in fate." He states, her face falters. "I believe in you. I believe you were meant for me and me for you."
"Isn't that fate?" She looks suspiciously at him.
"I would call it luck more than fate." He moves a hand to brush her hair away from her face. "I am the luckiest man, toaster, whatever I am, in the whole universe." She pulls him closer to her and places her cheek against his chest, listening to his heart. It sounds so human and according to the grueling medical tests, it is a heart. The only real difference they've discovered is the silica pathways that receive bio information from the rest of his body in his brain, instead of neurons like a human.
"How are you doing with this situation?" She asks her voice muffled against his shirt. He strokes a hand down her back.
"I'm not sure." He states breaking away from her embrace. "I went into denial for a very long time, but after the second or third beating I realized that this is my life now." He sighs and crosses his arms across his chest. "I would help if I could. The cylons don't trust me because I allowed myself to be caught and told you point blank what I thought I was. The human's don't trust me, with good reason. Who knows what I'm capable off?"
They stand a part staring at one another for a long time. His gaze is intense and she looks away often, trying not to be afraid of him.
"I trust you." She whispers, looking back into his eyes.
"Why?" He asks pained.
"Because you love me. Because I believe that you're still being given a choice to act on the programming they gave you and you don't. Because I knew I could come in here and you would hold me, not hurt me. Because no matter what switch they flipped in your brain, you're still my husband. Because you're still here. You could have broken out of this cage any time you'd wanted, and yet you stayed. You took the beatings, the broken ribs" He raises his eye brows at that "yes I heard about that. You took everything they could dish out and you stayed. Why did you stay?" She asks with unshed tears in her eyes.
"Kara." He scolds.
"Say it. You always make me say what I don't want to admit, remember it's good for you." She smiles sadly.
"I stayed for you." He closes the distance between them and grabs her hands. "I couldn't leave you here not knowing what happened to you, if you were happy, if the fleet ever found a place to call home. I can't truly live without the sound of your voice or the touch of your skin. You mean more to me that I can ever tell you." She sighs and moves to hug him one last time.
"I have to go."
"Will you come back?" He asks.
"Yes."
"Tomorrow?" He asks hopeful.
"Probably not. I've got double CAP and teaching. I'll be dead on my feet."
"A day in the life of I guess." He kisses her one last time, and then sits on the bed so she can put the shackles on again. She looses it when she has to snap the collar back into place. She kisses his forehead and walks to be buzzed out of the enclosing. She hands the key back to the guard and with one last fleeting glance, is gone.
Several weeks later Starbuck is called to a briefing in the wardroom with the admiral, president and XO. She stands at attention in the middle of the room.
"Captain, how is your husband?" The president starts. Kara waivers. "At easy Captain." Kara relaxes a fraction.
"He is fine sir. His nose is healing from the last beating. I believe he can breathe through it again." Kara states matter-of-factly.
"Good." The president responds. "Captain, we have a task for you and him." Kara looks between the admiral and the president searching for what reaction they expected.
"Sirs?" She asks.
"We've been talking amongst ourselves. It is our belief that if he can hear the other cylons, and they can know what he is doing, the reverse is true. That he can find a way to learn what they know. Do you think he would be willing to help?" The president spreads her hands wide.
"Yes sir."
"Good. I would like you to propose this venture."
"Sir?" She asks. "May I assist if necessary?"
"Why would you need to be there?" The XO questions.
"I'm his wife sir. He is here because of me. If I weren't part of this whole equation, do you think you'd have a nice little caged cylon, or one going on a rampage?" She retorts.
"Captain." The admiral's voice holds warmth of anger and an edge warning.
"Sorry sir. Excuse my outburst." She stands a little straighter.
"We will have to discuss if you will be permitted to remain with him while he tries to infiltrate the cylons. We're still not sure he can't be forced to do something against his own moral fiber. Such as harm you. He's fast, and too strong. Before we could save anyone he could kill them. It puts us in a predicament." The president states.
"I understand sir. I would be willing to go in armed." She says.
"You want us to believe you'd shoot your own husband?" The admiral looks at her skeptically.
"To protect myself, absolutely."
"Yes but would you shoot to kill?" The president asks.
"Yes."
"Damn Starbuck, and here I thought you'd gone soft on us for a cylon." The XO taunts her. She breathes deeply and stares straight ahead.
"We will discuss it captain. You are dismissed." The admiral says.
Three days later Kara's schedule has been cleared for an entire week. She dresses in her civilian clothes as she prepares to help her husband infiltrate the cylons. He's been briefed on the type of information the fleet is looking for. He thinks it's a brilliant idea; Kara on the other hand is a little more cautious. What if they cylons have a way to shut him down, or worse try to break out.
She sighs heavily as she straps her gun to her hip. It'd been a while since she'd worn it; viper pilots weren't known for carrying a gun to fly a viper. She sighs again, knowing full well that it may come to killing the man she loved. Am I ready for that? She thought to herself. Yes, came the answer. She'd thought about it a few hundred times over the last few months as she struggled to understand why the gods would do something so futile to her as make her fall in love with a cylon.
She enters the small room and sat at the table, Leoben sit across from her. They don't remove the shackles and the marines stand on either side of Leoben, their guns trained on him. She gave him a watery smile and sighs.
"Ready?" She asks.
"As I'll ever be." He says.
"Just remember who you are and that I'll be here for you." She reaches across the table to put a hand on his. He smiles brilliantly at her and her heart stopped for a moment, then speeds up having absolutely nothing to do with being frightened of him. His smile widened and his hands move to enclose hers.
"Try not to speak. It'll just distract me." He closes his eyes and stops trying to drown out the voices with his thoughts. At first they welcome him, acknowledging him but that soon turns to distrust as the rest of his model figures out what he is trying to do. After only a few minutes, he feels like he is getting kicked out of his own head.
He gasps as he is suddenly back on Galactica looking at Kara. Well that was interesting, he thinks to himself. He tries again. This time he can see what the collective thought on the battle star is, how it's oriented, how many copies of the models live there.
Kara watches as Leoben's eyes focus in and out of the room. Every now and again he gasps and he looks at her as if he actually sees her. She sits quietly. She is there to help when needed and to report every detail to the admiral, president and XO. It would be a lengthy discussion.
After a few hours, he is starting to crack around the edges. Kara sees it but leaves it alone, knowing that there wasn't anything she could say to make him stop trying. It seemed to be affecting him physically as well as mentally. When dinner is brought to his cell she puts her hand across the table to touch his hand. He jumps at the contact, his eyes filling with the knowledge of being in the here and now. He smiles.
"Glad to have you back." She states. "Your dinner is here." She moves the plate across the table.
"That was amazing." He breathes between bites of food. She looks at him puzzled. "There is so much more there for the taking than the admiral and president asked for. I think I might need someone to sketch things out for me." She raises an eyebrow.
"I can." She says. "If you can describe it, I can probably draw it."
"I've only seen your paintings." He says looking at her quizzically.
"I took every art class I could from grade school on. But flying is my passion; art is just a past time. Especially now." She states. "What were you able to do?" She asks when he is finished with his food. He smiles at his wife.
"The base stars. How they're oriented, how many there are: 129." Kara's eyes widen at the shear volume of base stars. "There are ships we've never seen, but I don't know what they're called yet. There are only seven known models, one of them being decommissioned. My designation is two. I have no idea how they number the models, but I am number two."
"Did they try to stop you?" She asks.
"They did at first, but if I can't keep them out they can't keep me out. They're trying to hide the certain things the admiral wanted me to look for. Luckily the base star and the other cylons were easy because every copy of my model has interacted with one of the five other cylon models, although none of them gave a clear definition of the seventh one. It's very curious."
"Anything else?"
"Yes. My model is fascinated by us. More by you but defiantly by my interactions with you and our marriage. They don't have the concept of marriage. They barely have sex, or eat as a group. Even within the models they don't choose to interact very often. It helps and hinders them to have all of the models connected. Makes it only necessary for the models to talk between each other but within the models there isn't hardly any verbal communication."
"Sounds lonely."
"I would think so, but I don't know that they know what it means to be lonely. They've always felt that way. They've never needed anyone the way I need you and you need me. And love is almost a foreign concept to them. They're capable, and they're aware that it is something they can do but they choose to keep themselves at a distant from any other cylon. Its like having thousands of tiny islands within eyesight of one another and yet the stranded persons choose to stay stranded. I don't understand it." He raises her hand to his lips and brushes them across her knuckles. She gasps at the small movement. "I could never give you up." He states. She feels her heart melt.
"Well I'd be go report this information to the admiral. I'm sure they're wondering if you've killed me yet." He looks at her strangely. "We're all still wondering if you can be forced into doing something you don't want to do or aren't conscious of doing. Like hurting me." She finishes. His eyes widen in shock. She moves around the table and places a soft kiss on his lips. She leans in close, so only he can hear, "I love you, always."
He smiles as he watches her leave.
The next few days are pretty much the same. Kara has to cut Leoben off so she can be debriefed and try to conjure up some drawings of the things he's seeing. By the fourth day he's been exploring the cylons during the night. He discovers something that disturbs him more than anything else he's discovered so far.
"What's wrong?" She asks.
"Nothing." He says stoically.
"You know you're a really horrible liar." She states. He sighs.
"I found something out last night." He pauses; she waits for him to continue. "The cylons have this thing called resurrecting."
"Like rising from the dead?"
"Yes exactly. Evidently my consciousness would be downloaded into another body, like you would transfer files on a computer." He finishes with disgust in his voice. "That's what those oddly shaped ships are for: they're call resurrection hubs." He rifles through the drawings she's made. "This one is the closest to the fleet currently. It's within transmitting range of the fleet so if the six active cylons die they will be able to resurrect."
"How do they know where we are?" She asks interested.
"A tracking device and evidently we have a radiation signature from the nukes that hit Galactica when we came out of Ragnar Anchorage. It leads them right to us every time." Kara takes notes to report later. She pauses as she realizes what resurrection could mean to him.
"That's just disturbing." Kara mumbles to herself more than to him. He nods in agreement. "How would we know it was you who resurrected? And not some imposter?" She asks seriously. This type of information might get him killed if there was no discernable way to make sure he was the right deadly machine.
"There are some memories I've kept locked up very tight."
"Such as?" She looks suspicious.
"The masked party at Helo's. I've shown them bits but not what happened that night or what you looked like."
"How did you keep it from them?"
"I've been practicing thinking of mundane things almost all of the time. I never conjure that memory, even now I'm thinking of dancing that night or hitting on the woman on the balcony." She smiles slightly at the last comment.
"So we have a code I guess?" She asks.
"It would seem so."
"Are you going to keep trying to find information?" She asks. It's been a week, she has to return to CAP rotation tomorrow and her nuggets seemed to think that the week off was to aide them, boy were they in for a surprise.
"I always will. It's getting much harder now. Looking for the home world, assuming they have one, is very difficult. Plus there are the final five cylons that even the cylons don't know who they are. They're even forbidden to think of them, and yet every one of them does."
"Well I'd best go report this." The chair scrapes against the floor as she gets up. She goes around the table to kiss her husband but this time she tangles her finger in his hair, possessing his mouth with hers. When she breaks away he is smiling up at her. She smiles back. "I'll see you soon." She breathes and with that goes to have one last discussion with the admiral and president.