All Roads Lead Here by Teenage Anomaly
There's a smell of stale fear that's reeking from our skins.
The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins
We sit and grow our roots into the floor
But what are we waiting for?
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done
Chapter Fourteen: Course Correcting Or Coincidence?
Day Eleven
Someone was screaming, and someone was shaking me.
Why did my throat hurt?
Oh. I was screaming.
My eyes snapped open as the scream died away, and I saw disgruntled faces all around me. Sawyer and Boone were right above me, worry in their eyes. Both of them helped me sit up, animosity forgotten. Their hands were warm and steadying on my cold, shaking arms. Sawyer's face looked regretful and a little guilty. He's trying to make up for what he did, said Ben's voice in my head. He feels like he needs to…(I could almost see Ben's non-committable half shrug in my head) compensate for something. Their faces were beautiful and bright, but my mind was clouded by analytical eyes and thin lips and manipulative men.
"Katty, what's wrong-
"You okay, midge?"
They glared at each other, and I ran a hand through my greasy hair.
"Yeah. Nightmare, I guess."
"Some nightmare," said Jack, crouching next to me. I raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
"Who's Ben?" he asked flatly. My heart stopped as I stared into his steely eyes.
"Say what now?"
---
Jack gave me the "very mild sedative" that he would also give Claire, later. I'd protested weakly, but when he said that this was the second time I'd woken up screaming in the middle of the night, I needed sleep, and everyone else did, too, I didn't really have much choice. So I took a handful of the pills and put them into my pockets. He told me to take one, about half an hour before I went to bed. I nodded at him.
When Jack left, I was sitting in my little corner alone. I missed the beach. It was too dark here; the only light was green, and there was something odd about it. Like it was tainted.
My mind kept jumping back to the dream, and I automatically glanced up to see Boone, who trying to communicate with Sun. They were both laughing.
He was going to die.
"Now, what are you doing in my caves?" I heard a cheerfully British voice ask, and I glanced up to see Charlie and Claire. Good ole Charlie.
He was going to die, too.
"Don't see your name on them," I said, forcefully cheery. I waved at Claire, who was standing a little behind Charlie, who, I realized, was pulling a wheelchair. I laughed.
"Is that for me?"
"Yep," he said, swinging it around so that it landed with a "clank" on the ground, and grinned at me. "Heard you're a cripple now, so I thought I'd bring you this."
"That's sweet," I said, and gingerly crawled into it, propelling myself forwards and back, before tilting my head backwards to grin up at Charlie.
"Wanna push me around?"
He turned to Claire. "You wanna come?"
She smiled, but shook her head. "Nah, I think I'm going to lie down."
"You okay?" Charlie and I asked in concern. She laughed and nodded, waving us on. Charlie looked down at me with a mischievous grin and I felt my eyes widen.
"Don't even think abo- CHARLIIIEEEEE!"
He began running at full speed through the caves, and I saw angry and bewildered faces turn to glare at us. I couldn't tell if I was screaming or laughing. I did know that I was clutching the armrests with all my might as he sped into the jungle.
"CHARILE, KNOCK IT OFF-" I sounded like an insane sheep, my voice shaking and bouncing as we barreled over roots and the uneven ground of the jungle.
He started spinning around in circles then, laughing his head off as I screamed.
Then he drove the chair right into a protruding root, and I was dumped unceremonially out of the chair as he went flying over it and landed right on top of me. We lay there, panting, for a minute, just looking at each other. And then we both began cackling madly.
"You should have seen your face!" I howled, rolling off the root and into the dirt, clutching my ribs. Charlie gasped for breath and then said, "I thought you were gonna have a heart attack!"
We turned to look at each other, still laughing, and at the sight of each other's red faces, we were so completely overcome that breathing was out of the question, let alone speaking.
---
Charlie pushed me back to camp a few minutes later, still chortling, as I imitated his accent.
"God, your face," he kept repeating.
"God, your face," I mimicked, and he glared down at me, pretending to be angry. I grinned cheekily up at him, and he couldn't help smiling.
Jack was waiting for me when we reached the camp. He shook his head, smiling, and approached us, carrying some fresh bandages and hydrogen peroxide. I made a face at the little brown bottle as Charlie clapped me on the shoulder.
"Glad I'm not you, troublemaker."
"Oh, go drink some tea, ya hobbit," I shouted at him as he sauntered away. He looked back over his shoulder and grinned cheekily at me. I laughed and shook my head at Jack, who was now kneeling by my feet.
"I love that guy."
Jack laughed. "Looked like the two of you were having fun with that wheelchair."
"Oh, you know it."
"So, Katty, I've been thinking about last night," he said as he began peeling the bandage off my foot. My stomach clenched and I leant forward, wheelchair creaking, and stared at the top of Jack's fuzzy head.
"Yeah?"
"I think we should just tell people you got lost in the jungle." He looked up at me with a grin. "It does sound like something you would do."
I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed. I said, "Do you not want to scare people, or do you not believe me?"
He hesitated for a moment before pouring the peroxide onto my foot. I hissed in pain as he said, "I'm not sure what I believe, Katty. But I don't want to scare people, no."
He looked up at me, poker face in place. "Are you… cool with that?"
I studied his face for a moment, the five o'clock shadow, the haunted eyes, his somewhat pointy nose- features that were so familiar to me they might have mine.
"Yeah," I said quietly, finally. "I'm cool with that."
---
Life at the caves was much more boring than life at the beach. I didn't have Sawyer to joke with, Boone to tease, or Sayid to just sit with.
Here, I had…. Hurley.
"Dude, you suck," he chortled, laughing as I swore. The stupid dice refused to give me a three. I glared at Hurley, who was still laughing.
"You think it's funny?"
"Hell, yes," he said. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Just wait till my feet get better. I will take you down, boy."
"How do your feet make you suck at rolling dice?"
"They just do, okay?"
"Okay, dude. Whatever." He got up and walked away, still laughing. I frowned. There really was nothing to do here. I couldn't explore, being a temporary cripple, and I wasn't really friends with any one here except for Jack, who was busy, and Charlie and Claire, who seemed to be having a private discussion.
So I was alone with my thoughts. And Vincent. And the memory of my unsettling dream.
Just thinking about it gave me the chills. Just thinking about Ben gave me the chills… though not the ones he should be giving me.
I shivered as the memory of his voice ran through my mind, smooth as silk.
God, it was going to be a long few days.
---
Day Thirteen
"Well, you sure are a fast healer," said Jack, slightly disbelieving, as he unwrapped my feet. I'd graduated to crutches, now, and was sitting on an uneven rock as Jack knelt in front of me. It had been about two and a half days since I'd been taken, and about three days that Sayid had been gone. We'd been on the island for almost two weeks now.
I was getting very tan.
"I think about two more days, kiddo, and you'll be good to go, foot wise. Far as your face goes..."
"Watch it, wise guy," I warned. Jack smiled. "You're going to have a pretty noticeable scar there, but it's healing too. We should be able to take the bandage off that one tomorrow, but the fact that you've recovered so quickly…"
Jack stood up, sounding frankly incredulous as he stared at my feet and shook his fuzzy head. "Those should not be healing that fast."
"You should see my back," I said with a grin, heaving myself to my feet with the help of my crutches. Jack frowned at me.
"What's wrong with your back?"
"Long story, doc. Maybe another time." I saluted him with my crutch and we both laughed. "See ya 'round, Jack."
Two nights later, Claire would wake up screaming
---
Day Fifteen
I awoke to screaming that, for once, was not my own. I sat bolt upright with a gasp, ignoring my sore back, and looked around at the camp that was now in slight chaos. Claire was standing in the middle of the camp, red faced but pale at the same time, hands dripping and bloody, screaming her head off.
I felt a surge of sympathy, since I knew what it was like to wake up to your own screams, but it was quickly pushed away by exhaustion and a dull ache in my back.
After straining my neck to look up and see what was going on, I let my head fall back onto my pillow with a dull 'thud' and was soon asleep once again.
---
I don't know why I'm still writing in this thing. There's not much point, really. Mom and dad, I hope the printer is stocked on ink.
Sayid's been gone six days today. If I remember right, he's only gone seven, which means he should get back some time in the ballpark of tomorrow. I hope so. I miss him. Things are pretty boring at the caves, specially since I can't, y'know, WALK. But Jack says that I should be able to walk without the crutches tomorrow, thanks to the Magical Healing Power of the Island TM. I hope he's right.
Claire woke up screaming last night. If I remember right, that happens twice, and then she's gone. And Sayid's back.
I miss you guys. I love you.
Pray for me.
---
I hung out with me, myself, and I that day. Claire, who I normally hung with, was being questioned by Jack, plus she didn't really look like she was in a talking mood, anyway. And Charlie, my fall-back guy, was acting like a complete loon, just staring off after Claire and muttering to himself. If I hadn't known better I would say that, somehow, he knew what was going to happen to the two of them.
I sure did, and it was eating me up inside. But there wasn't really anything I could do, so I just stayed far away from Ethan and slept a lot and ate a lot. Not really much else to do, in the caves, when you can't go exploring, which was what I really wanted to do.
Except, I was almost healed, wasn't I?
I glanced down at my feet, wrapped in make-shift bandages. There were some discarded sandals, over by the water fall- and I had my crutches.
I looked around, stomach tingling. No one was paying me any attention, and I'd mastered the art of not looking like I was up to something.
I snatched the sandals, and I was out of there.
-
It was really a gorgeous day. It was windy, and I guessed about eighty degrees, but being under the thick canopy of trees made it quite a bit cooler.
I'd always loved the tropics. Jungles, and all, and this place was beautiful. I was speechless, walking around with my mouth hanging open, just trying to take it all in. The sheer amount of green was overwhelming. I wished very deeply that I'd brought my camera with me, to try to capture all this beauty.
I wandered around for a while, careful to landmark places in my mind. Being an artist had a practical use- it gave you something very close to photographic memory. And so, by staying close to the camp and paying attention, I wasn't all that worried about getting lost.
No pun intended.
Eventually, I wandered into a clearing type place that had a steep hill covered in trees on one side. This hill was also covered in what looked to be wreckage from the plane.
I hobbled over to it on my crutches, resisting the urge to sarcastically ask the air for some vicodin, and examined the treasures.
What interested me the most were a set of amps and a bag of cords. I held the cords in my hands and grinned at them.
-
I was slightly surprised to realize that no one was freaking out over my absence when I got back to the caves. I suppose I had Claire and the new drama she had presented to thank for that. She was nowhere in sight and my stomach jolted on reflex, though I knew that, if I was remembering correctly, she had till tomorrow.
And I had some very pressing issues of my own to deal with.
I needed to find Kate.
-
"Why are you coming to me with this?" she asked as she bent over the clear stream, filling up a water bottle. I leant heavily on one of my crutches, ignoring the pain in my armpit.
"I mean, it's not exactly the sort of thing I'd go to Jack or any of them with, y'know? It's more of a… chick orientated thing."
She smiled a little, and I felt a flash of camaraderie. I hated fighting, and though Kate and I weren't exactly fond of each other, I didn't want to waste time and energy fighting with her.
"No, I guess it's not."
She stood up and I eyed her apprehensively. I always felt ugly around Kate, but then again, it was hard not to. She was stunning, pure and simple.
"Well?" I asked. She sighed and met my eyes.
"I think that, if it works, you have a pretty good idea. Take me out there tomorrow and we'll see, okay?"
I sucked in breath through my teeth. Tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow. "How about the next day?"
She laughed, for the first time. "You got something on your schedule?"
I laughed too, a forced sound that had no humor in it. "Kate, you have no idea."
-
My pillow seemed to be breathing, but for some reason, I didn't find this odd.
My pillow also seemed to have fine, soft chest hair, but this also seemed perfectly normal.
And then I realized that my pillow had a name, too, and that I was in a bed with him (jeez, I'd already forgotten what a bed felt like) and some part of me knew that all this was an everyday thing.
My hands began wandering all over the chest, touching him, mapping every part of him into my head, when my fingers came across a tight, smooth patch of skin on the left side of his chest, right over his heart. I paused, my eyes opening. The room I was in was painted white, and sunlight was filtering in through the window. The man's eyes were closed and he was sleeping, breathing softly, one arm wrapped around my waist. I was curled up next to him, one hand still resting on his chest.
And still, all of this seemed…. right.
"I love you," he murmured, very softly, in his half-sleep. I smiled and buried my head in his chest, ignoring the bullet wound that also rested there.
"I love you too, Ben."
-
Day Sixteen
"HE WAS TRYING TO HURT MY BABY!"
I was once again jolted back into reality by the sound of a scream that wasn't mine. My eyes flew open as the scene of white and peace and restfulness disappeared, and I was again on the cold, hard floor of the caves. Ben's face flashed through my mind and I felt a pull, deep in my stomach. A pull towards him, a man I knew through dreams and a TV show.
I had issues.
But there were more important ones to deal with now.
I threw the covers off of myself, running on adrenaline, jumped to my feet, and ran over to Claire. The torchlight only made the scene more eerie. I shoved Jack out of the way and put an arm around her shoulders, comforting her as best I could.
"Claire, listen to me," I said calmly. Her wild, terrified eyes sought mine. "Breathe, okay? Let's sit down, and then tell me what happened."
Jack, and Hurley cleared everyone away while Charlie organized a search party, and Claire clung to me and cried.
-
"How is she?" asked Jack, several hours later. I was rubbing Claire's back and reading while she slept. I looked up at my friend. His eyes were red and his skin was pale, and he looked as tired as I felt. I smiled softly at him. "She'll be okay. She needs a lot of rest."
He sat down heavily next to me. "I'm amazed you got her to sleep at all."
I grinned at him blearily. "It's a girl thing. Mothering instinct, donchaknow."
Jack laughed, staring at the ground. "Mothering or miracle, thanks."
He stood up and clapped me on the shoulder and began to walk away.
"Jack," I called after him, and he turned back to look at me. I smiled at him sympathetically. I couldn't tell him what was going to happen, but I could do the next best thing.
"Get some sleep, Jack. It's going to be a long day."
I was relived that he didn't question me, just nodded and went to his make-shift bunk.
My eyes wandered, unfocused, around the camp for a few seconds. My gaze finally landed on Ethan, partially hidden by the night. His face was wearing the same expression that Claire would see, in only a few hours, right before he kidnapped her. It was an intense gaze, a glare almost, ridden with desire and longing and a little bit of distaste.
And it was directed at me.
-
"So, I know your name," said Hurley, concentrating intently as he scribbled something on the most ghetto notebook pad I had ever seen. I laughed as I wrung the water out of the clothes I was washing.
"Hurley, when you got to the beach, if you wanna get a better notebook, there's one in my pack. Take the small one, though."
"Thanks, dude. Um… how old are you?"
"I'm turning seventeen in just over month."
"Crap, you're young. Uh… reason for traveling?"
I smiled and shook my head. "I love you, Hurley. I was part of a student ambassador program."
"Cool. Where did you live before, y'know, this?"
"Murfreesboro, Tennessee."
"And ya got any family on the island?"
"No. Well, I'm sort of playing mom to Elliot." I met his eye with a grin. "Does that count?"
He grinned back at me. "Might. Oh, if you need any help with the laundry, I can help you with it later." He lumbered to his feet and pushed half of his thick hair behind one ear, and grinned at me.
"Later, kiddo."
"See ya, Hurley!" I called after his disappearing back, and he turned back to wave at me.
A few minutes later, and all the clothes were dry. I piled all the soaking wet shirts, pants and various undergarments into my arms, severely soaking myself, and headed back to the camp, limping a little.
The cave camp was relatively calm after this morning. I was actually quite enjoying myself, singing quietly as I threw the clothes over some twine that Michael had hung between two caves. All in all, I felt very responsible and domestic, even though several pairs of my more colorful underwear were now flapping in the wind. I took comfort in that Jack's boxers were right next to mine, and then I stifled a snicker.
I flopped down on the rocks with a sigh. My mom, back at home, had nagged at me for not pitching in around the house enough. I felt the urge to laugh at what she would do if she could see me now. She'd probably jokingly put a hand on my forehead, like she was checking for a temperature, then ask what I had done with the real Kathryn, the lazy Kathryn.
I let my head fall back against the wall of the caves and, not even bothering to take my shoes off, I drifted into a light sleep, a name on my lips.
Sayid…
--
When I woke up, not long later, Claire and I were the only two people at the caves. With a jolt, I realized Sayid was coming back today. I checked the clothes, hanging in a patch of sunlight- most of them were dry.
I did the only thing I could think to do in that position. I needed to calm my nerves, and I wanted to look good when Sayid came back.
So I took a bath.
And then I went back to sleep.
I really, really have issues.
I awoke this time to raised voices, and I saw Sayid stumbling into the caves. Suddenly, I was completely awoke, all traces of drowsiness gone. He was shouting, mixtures of my name and Jack's, and then Jack was next to him, shouting at Kate to bring him some water. I was on my feet instantly, and I half ran/half flew over the rocky floors of the cave to Sayid. His exhausted, slightly delirious eyes sought me out.
"Dude, long time no see," was the first thing I said. He stared past me, to Jack.
"Listen to me- I found her, the french woman-"
Jack handed him the cup of water and Sayid drank greedily for a moment before shaking his head. His eyes met mine once again and he clenched my wrist with almost surprising strength.
"I had to come back," he gasped. "I had to."
He grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled himself up, cutting off my breathing in the process. One of his big hands wrapped around my throat while the other grappled with the front of my shirt. I gasped for breath, the tension in my head building. My vision was swimming, but I could still see him. His eyes were feverish.
"We're not alone."
And, just to make the moment more perfect, Hurley came crashing through the ferns just as Sayid let go of me and fell back against the rocks. I rubbed my throat, breathing deeply. Jack shoved me aside and lifted up Sayid's eyelids, doing some doctor-ish thing. I tried to breathe again.
"We've got a problem. The manifest, Jack, the census, the names of everyone who survived, all 46 of us. I interviewed everyone!" Hurley was panting for breath, eyes scared. "Here, at the beach, got their names. One them, one of them isn't -- Jack! One of them isn't in the manifest. He wasn't on the plane."
All of us froze at the same moment and looked at each other. Jack's gaze quivered on Hurley, then snapped onto me. I stared back into his steely eyes, and I didn't have to feign the shock and naked fear I knew he was seeing on my face. Kate was the first to speak, to break the chaotic silence.
"Who wasn't on the plane?"
"Ethan, the Canadian guy! He wasn't on the manifest!" Hurley was on his feet now, waving his arms, his hair growing crazier in a way that reminded me of Gene Wilder.
I closed my eyes and tried to keep breathing as chaos swirled around me.
Claire and Charlie- two of my best friends. People who'd trusted me, people who I'd let be kidnapped.
"Where's Charlie?!" Jack's voice was more of a shout than a question, and I knew it was aimed at me. I squeezed my eyes tighter, wishing I was anywhere but here on this freaking island-
What the hell had I done?
"… he went after Claire." Locke's voice, calm and innately soothing even now, broke through the barrage of self-deprecating thoughts I was now launching at myself.
My eyes snapped open in time to see Jack take off along the path, Locke hot on his heels. Kate and I exchanged a glance and she stepped closer to me. Her eyes were almost dangerous.
"Did you know about this?"
I felt cold. "Yes," I whispered, and then I ran back to my bunk. I grabbed the gun from where I'd hidden it, buried under some grass next to my bed, and shoved it in the back of my pants. Then I yanked off my shoes and sat heavily on the ground.
"Toss me the bandages," I shouted to Hurley. He did so without a moment's hesitation. I began clumsily wrapping my feet, pulled my shoes back on, and then I crawled over to the unconscious Sayid. I yanked open the hole in his jeans around the wound in his leg.
"Can someone hand me some peroxide?" I asked, surprisingly calm. The wound wasn't pretty, and I had no medical training, but I wasn't going to leave him like this. Someone placed the bottle in my hand and I poured a liberal amount over the wound, hissing through my teeth as I did so. A train of half formed thoughts ran through my mind, most of them variations of, "what would they do if they could see me now?" They, of course, being the friends and family I'd had in what felt like another life.
The wound fizzed and bubbled, and when it had calmed, I began wrapping it, my hands shaking only a little. I felt very helpful and accomplished.
"What are you doing?" came Kate's voice from above me. I looked over and up into her pretty green eyes.
"He's my best friend. I'm not just going to leave him here like this."
When Locke came back, I was ready.
"You let him go alone?" Kate wasn't happy, but Locke didn't seem to care. I was tightening the laces on my shoes, thinking deeply.
If I stopped Boone from coming, if I took his place…
But those thoughts were deadly, and I didn't let myself finish.
"I'm coming with you," snapped Kate as they stopped right next to me. I straightened up and looked at the two of them. Locke nodded, his eyes flickering between Kate and I.
"I am too," I announced, and to my surprise, neither of them tried to stop me. Locke just nodded, handed a knife to Kate, and said to me, "You still got that gun?"
I nodded, not really trusting myself to speak.
"Let's go."
Boone caught up with us, moments later, and Locke didn't question his presence. He slipped up next to me, put a hand on my shoulder.
"Are you sure you want to be out here?" he asked, his beautiful eyes concerned. I nodded.
"I have to be."
It only took us a few minutes to find Jack, and then we were off again, tramping through the woods. I was less nervous, less worried, now that I was doing something. I already knew, when the groups spilt, that I was going to go with Jack and Kate. And I knew that by doing that, I was killing this boy that I was dangerously close to loving.
I wiped tears off my face and followed Jack's back.
I was in a haze, brought on by lack of sleep and shock. Everything was happening so fast….
And the next thing I knew, we were stopping.
"It's 4:25. And yes, I'm taking a break."
Kate interrupted, fixing Jack with an intense glare. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
They stepped away from the rest of us. I looked away from them, back down to the water bottle Boone had handed me, and whispered lowly.
"Glad I'm not him."
Boone laughed. "Me too."
I looked up at him, and we grinned at each other.
Our time was running out.
Locke's eyes narrowed, and then he was on his knees next to some tall grass. Boone and I set aside our water bottles and moved to him.
"What is it?" asked Boone. Locke held up on of the strips of tape that had been wrapped around Charlie's fingers, and we all exchanged a shocked glance.
"Jack!" Locke and I yelled in unison, and Kate and Jack came running back. Kate fell to her knees next to Locke, her eyes glued to the piece of tape he was holding up.
"What is it?" she asked.
"It was Charlie's," I panted. Locke met my eyes silently and nodded. Jack, however, walked several feet past us, just as Locke began following something only he could see in the opposite direction. Jack knelt down next to a plant and held up another wrapping of tape.
"They went this way," he called.
"I'm not so sure," said John said quietly, looking up from the green ground. "There's another trail here."
"What do you mean, another-"
"There are footprints. Someone moved off this way," Locke spoke calmly, as if to a small child, and both Kate and I realized that this was a bad idea.
"Charlie's leaving those for us, he wants us to go that way-"
"Unless Charlie isn't the one leaving them. If Ethan knows that we're behind him, he could be setting up a dummy trail. Take off in one direction, double-back his own footprints," interrupted Kate. Everyone except for me stared at her in something very similar to disbelief.
I was waiting, very impatiently.
"So now you're a tracker, too?" asked Boone, his tone disbelieving but a little impressed. I met his eyes, and he shrugged a little, as if to say, "who knew?"
I did. Duh.
"Be careful," said Locke, his eyes on me. I nodded, then followed Kate's back, resisting the urge to run after Boone and hold him close.
He was going to die, and it was going to be my fault.
"And so it begins," I whispered, not bothering to wipe the tears off my face this time.
I was bringing up the rear of our rag-tag group, and trying- and failing- to keep pace with Kate and Jack. Apart from being much more fit than I, they also had much longer legs.
I jogged, panting, trying to keep up with them. I slowed back to a very fast walk once I caught up with Kate, and to my surprise, she was sharing my problem.
"Jack, please slow down!"
"You said they went this way."
"I think they went this way! I'm not as good at this as Locke is!" She and I both stumbled slightly over a significant dip in the land. It was humid and hot, we were all sweating profusely, and the sweat my body produced was dripping down my face and onto the gash next to my nose, which stung quite nicely. Jack turned to face us, a look of desperation and frustration on his face. He stared at Kate for a minute, then said, "So, where'd you pick up the tracking skills, Kate?"
I snapped. I threw my hands up in the air, ignoring the shocked look on Kate's face and the angry one on Jack's and began shouting. "Are you serious?"
I took a few steps away, stumbling over the tall grass, and turned on both of them. "Claire and Charlie could be dying, who knows? Do you really think, Jack freaking Shepard, that this is the best time to have an uber-man argument cause she," I stabbed my thumb in Kate's direction, still livid, "might have a few things she don't want you to know about? My gah you are so retarded!"
I stood still in the tall grasses, sweaty, sore, in pain, with two people off a TV show staring at me like they were scared for my sanity.
It all seemed so pointless. I flapped a hand at them, sighing.
"Whatever. Continue. Forget I said anything."
Jack took a step towards me, his eyes almost dangerous. I was too tired to care.
" 'Who knows if Charlie and Claire are dying'?" His eyes pierced me where I stood, strong as steel and cold as ice.
"You do."
He began walking again, Kate right on his heels, and I followed her a few seconds later, once again fighting back tears. I was doing a lot of crying today. I heard them talking, but none of it registered, until I heard Kate say, "That was real."
So the Island course corrected again.
We'd been going for a while, maybe fifteen minutes, when it started raining. It was actually a bit of a relief from the humid air and all the bugs and the itchy skin.
Jack bent down, and when he straightened up, he was holding something. I squinted to see it, though I knew perfectly well what it was.
"Guess we were right," Jack shouted over the roar of the rain.
At that moment, right after a crash of thunder, there was a bird-like screech, and then a woman's bone-shilling scream. Jack didn't think. He just ran, and Kate and I struggled to catch up with him.
"Jack? Jack, where are you going?"
"Didn't you hear her?" he shouted, jumping over trees and roots. I slipped in the slick mud, but regained my footing. I shook my head, much like a water soaked dog.
"Hear who?"
He had reached a steep hill that was covered in vine-like roots. With Jack in the lead, we began climbing. It was hard work, as the rain made the ground slick and the roots were slimy to begin with. I had my eyes fixed firmly on Kate when I heard her scream, and then Jack was crashing into me and we both plummeted to the bottom of the hill. Jack scrambled to his feet. I fought with the mud and the plants that were tangled around me as I heard the sounds of punches. Through the rain, I saw one man deck the other, but I couldn't tell who was who. I managed to untangle myself and, without thinking about it, I launched myself at the man who I supposed was Ethan.
I "supposed" right. I grabbed him around the middle and we both went down, rolling in the mud. I was fighting for my life now, no rhyme or reason, just throwing my limbs around. I felt one of my fists come in contact with what felt like a nose, and then for the second time that day, my shirt collar was distressingly tight and strong hands pulled me up by it. The hands moved from my shirt to my neck, strong and sure, and I found myself –again- unable to breathe. I stared up into the rain at Ethan's frightening features, at his hooded eyes and hooked nose.
"I would kill you now," he shouted over the roar of the rain, "if Alpert and Linus didn't think you were so damn important."
This registered in my mind and I stored it away, then with a grunt, slammed my forehead into his.
Pain exploded behind my eyes. I heard Ethan swear, then laugh bitterly. My vision was fuzzy now, and I saw a mixture of distaste and desire flit across his face as his eyes roamed over my body.
He tossed me to the ground, and I heard Jack shout, "What did you do to her?"
Blearily, I saw them begin to fight again and, needless to say, Jack got served. I lay there in the mud as the rain subsided, trying to calm the raging pain behind my eyes.
"Katty? Hey, Katty, wake up." Jack was lifting open my eyelids and I sat up with a wild gasp.
The rain was gone now, and so was my headache, and every trace of Ethan.
"Did you see him?" asked Jack. I nodded, my heart still hammering.
"I think I fought him," I said, and my voice sounded distant and puzzled, even to my ears. I felt very out of it.
"I know," said Jack, nodding. "I saw."
He and Kate both helped me to my unsteady feet, and then we were off again. I tried to remember what had happened in the fight, but the details were fuzzy.
I knew I'd done good, though.
We'd been running for just a few minutes when we came across Charlie's deathly pale body, hanging from a tree, and I couldn't hold back a brief, breathy scream.
Jack wasted no time, however. He ran over to Charlie and lifted him by his legs to take the pressure off his neck.
"You've gotta cut him down!" he shouted at Kate, and then his frantic eyes fastened on me.
"Help me!"
I was next to him in a heartbeat, hugging Charlie's legs, feeling the pressure of his body in the weight on my shoulders.
"I-I can't reach!" shouted Kate, and I looked up to see that she was shaking, almost frantic. "You have to move him over!"
Jack met my eyes and nodded, and we moved closer to the tree, supporting Charlie. I felt the tremors of Kate's knife shaking down Charlie's body, till finally there was a snap and Jack and I were supporting a dead weight. Without thinking, I moved and caught Charlie's shoulders and we lowered him to the ground, one set of clumsy hands and one set of steady ones fighting against the vines wrapped around my friend's bruised neck. Jack lowered his mouth to Charlie's, and the fangirl in me died in momentary glee while the rest of me ignored her and stroked Charlie's cold, clammy hand.
He started pounding on Charlie's chest, his face contorted, and Kate and I stared at each other, all animosity forgotten as we both tried to not cry.
"He's not breathing! C'mon, Charlie, breath. C'mon. Breathe, c'mon. C'mon."
"Jack, he's-"
I started crying in earnest, my face screwed up, staring down at Charlie's ashen, emotionless face.
"C'mon, c'mon."
"Jack, Jack, stop, he's not-"
Kate was crying even harder than me, her pretty eyes dripping. Jack's face was as ashen as Charlie's now, but there was fire in his eyes. Kate dropped Charlie's hand and grabbed Kate's shoulder.
"It's okay," she said, trying to stop her own tears. "It's okay…"
Jack suddenly whirled on me, and the fire in his eyes had turned to a roaring blaze aimed directly at me.
"You!" He shouted. "You could have stopped this!"
But I was staring, horrified, at Charlie.
He wasn't supposed to die.
"No," I whispered.
Yes, said Ben's voice in my head.
LOST
"Believe" by the Bravery
A/N: Two not very nice endings in a row. I feel so... powerful.
This is a very strong chapter to me. I had fun writing it and it just seems to work. I hope you guys enjoy it as well!
Lol.
Sarah.