April heard the door to her apartment close, and she let out the breath she had been holding since she had seen Sherlock standing in her living room. She silently hoped that what happened would be enough to let Mycroft know that whatever she had been doing with Sherlock was over, and that she was alright to stay.

April walked over to the tray that Sherlock had brought down, though she had been starving earlier, she now found that she had no appetite and the smell of the soup was actually turning her stomach a bit. She took the bowl and poured its contents down the drain, that way when Mrs. Hudson came down to collect it later she wouldn't fuss over how April wasn't eating.

April washed out the dish and went over to the couch. She sat down and brought her knees up into her chest. Sherlock hadn't been wrong, she had been actively avoiding him. Though Mycroft had not said that she needed to stay away from Sherlock entirely, she had felt it the safest option and seeing him today had proved that.

After months of sneaking away and losing herself in Sherlock, being alone with her reality had hit April hard. She felt guilty, sad and angry every time she was with Charlie and when she was alone it was even worse. She thought too much. The worst of it though was the eyes she felt on her all the time. She had always known that she was constantly monitored, but since her car ride with Mycroft she could really feel them. She never felt at peace, not for a moment, and it gnawed away at her. It was at its worse when she was home. She could barely sleep with the weight of those eyes beating down on her.

Between her lack of sleep, her emotional state and the excess hours she was taking on at work just to stay away, it was no wonder she had gotten sick. All week she had been exhausted, stuffed up and achy, but she had finally been feeling better until Sherlock had showed up.

April grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. She didn't want to think right now. She already had a headache and the thoughts that seeing Sherlock had brought up did nothing but exacerbate it. She sat that exact position, staring through the television, never really seeing what was on, until Charlie came home.

"Hey, you feeling any better?" he asked as soon as he walked through the door.

For the first time in hours April looked up, "Not really" she told him feeling the crick in her neck that had formed. She stretched her stiff legs out on the couch and rubbed her neck.

Charlie took a moment to put his things down before he headed over to her and put a hand on her head. "Well it looks like your fever is down a bit. You want some tea?"

"Sure, thanks." April said as he turned and walked to the kitchen. April immediately wanted to curl back up into her previous position. Every time Charlie was nice to her it hurt her.

"Mrs. Hudson stop by?" Charlie asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah." April lied, "she brought me some soup."

"That was nice of her. Shame you didn't eat it." He said bringing her out her cup of tea.

"What are you talking about?" April asked. "Of course I ate it."

"You cleaned the bowl" Charlie told her as he lifted her legs to sit underneath them. "You only clean your dishes when you don't want someone to know you didn't eat their food."

"That's not true!" April said, offended.

Charlie just laughed, "Yes it is."

April rolled her eyes and sipped her tea. Charlie began to massage her feet, and April tried not to wince. She couldn't help but think how close she'd been to destroying all of this. How close she came to waking up to a day without Charlie there. It wasn't a thought she could bear.

She sat with Charlie until she had finished her tea. When she was done she made the excuse of being tired to go to her room and curl back up.

"I'll wake you up for dinner." Charlie told her as she walked away. Her only response was to nod.

Later when Charlie knocked on the door to wake her, she ignored the sound, and when he opened the door to check in on her she laid perfectly still and let him think she was sleeping. She never slept, just laid there trying to keep her mind empty, ignoring the rumbling in her stomach.

The next few days of her recovery were spent much the same. She would wake up late, take a hot shower, and sit in front of the television until Charlie came home. He would make her a cup of tea, then she would go for a nap. Some days she would pretend to sleep when Charlie came to get her for dinner, others she would sit and play with the food he made for her.

It was obvious that she wasn't eating much, Charlie had mentioned his worry over it to her a few times, but she had simply told him her stomach wasn't doing well, and he had for the most part accepted it. But when she had recovered from her illness her appetite remained nonexistent. For a few days she sat and felt Charlie giving her worried looks, watched him put a little more on her plate, hoping she'd eat more. It was another pair of eyes watching, judging her and she couldn't take it. So when Charlie came home she made it a point to eat. She had a biscuit with her tea, she cleaned her plate, and she felt sick each time, but it made Charlie feel better and April felt she owed him at least that.

In total April had missed three of Mrs. Hudson's dinners. One for extra shifts at work, the other two related to her illness. To be honest she was not looking forward to returning to the weekly meals that Mrs. Hudson all but demanded. In fact she had tried the entire week to find a valid excuse not to come, but so far her attempts had all been in vain. She had been over her sickness for a long time now, no one needed her to take their shifts, and every one she knew outside of Baker Street already had plans for their Friday evening meal. April was going to have to go to the dinner.

That evening's dinner would be the first time she would see Sherlock since he had been at her apartment two weeks earlier, making it almost an entire month since she had ended their affair. The mere thought of seeing him again threw her stomach into knots. She desperately wanted to run to the bathroom and empty her stomach, but Charlie was in there getting ready, so instead she popped a mint, hoping that would settle her.

When Charlie came out of the bathroom they headed upstairs. April tried not to shake as he knocked on the door. It opened quickly and they were warmly greeted by Mrs. Hudson, who gushed over having April back at their "family meals". April did her best to ignore Mrs. Hudson's overt enthusiasm.

April and Charlie had not been the first to arrive. Sherlock and John sat in Mrs. Hudson's arm chairs, deep in discussion, much the way they had on the first night they had all met. The discussion broke momentarily as John greeted them, and Sherlock nodded in their direction. Charlie went over to join the discussion between John and Sherlock. He hadn't been over there long before Sherlock excused himself into the other room. April desperately wanted to follow him if only to bum a smoke to calm her over exposed nerves, but she knew what that would look like to anyone with a camera so she sat down on the arm of the chair Charlie had sat in and pretended to be interested in what the two men were saying.