Loner in Love

It isn't fair, why does everything I want get taken away from me? I tried so hard, I tried to be everything that would make a good boyfriend. I would've been loyal, kind; I would have been there for him. I would've tried so hard to make it a good relationship and now all I can do is watch him grope that bitch every time there is a party. I'm not obsessed with him it's just I would be so much better for him. I would do anything for him to love me back like I him.

Sadly that's not gonna happen, sometimes dreams don't come true especially when they're about Tyler Lockwood, son of Carol and Mayor Richard Lockwood, defence on the football team, and the reason I know I'm gay. Tyler had been the star of my dreams lately and I didn't exactly want them to stop. I wanted them to be a reality. But that's not going to happen because he's straight and I'm gay. I've been with a girl, I have, but...it didn't...work. I had to think about Tyler and when I saw him at the field during practice, not purposely of course.

XOXO

I was skipping 3rd period and decided that what I really needed was to get some fresh air. When I walked out to the bleachers I knew I had to be doing something so I wouldn't get detention so all I did was get out my sketch pad and started drawing something I thought of a couple of weeks ago. It was then that the team were given a break and told to go to the showers. When they came back onto the field half of them had been wearing t-shirts that they had cut the sleeves off of.

The others were completely shirtless...including Tyler. I gulped as I watch them, well, him. It was a little too much to see so I left.

XOXO

I know it was lame but I couldn't just stay there that would've been embarrassing I didn't come out there to get embarrassed. I didn't go out there to catch a glimpse of Tyler's abs either but still that happened as well. All I remember afterwards was that I couldn't look at him for about a week. If that's not pathetic I don't know what is. All I really did after was go home.

When I got home I had fallen asleep and dreamt about him again, it was stupid but I didn't really care that much.All of the dreams I have been having of him have been...mature. So if you're not comfortable then I would leave.

XOXO

I lay on my bed whimpering as Tyler's lips moved down neck, he refused to kiss me yet but this was just as good. He bit down on a piece of my skin and bucked my hips against his own (I loved it when he did that). All I could do was not cry 'Tyler'.

He hated it when I did that, which is weird because his life depends on his ego. He kissed down my chest and I bit down on my lip to stop from moaning. I couldn't breathe it felt so good. When his tongue traced around my bellybutton I moaned out loudly, now that he liked. He continued to kiss my chest, running his tongue along my skin every few moments. He kissed back up my neck and I swear I just came in my pants, "Ready?" He whispered against my ear. I nodded before he removed both of our boxers.

He slipped into me easily but slowly, rolling his hips as he paused to give me time to adjust. I moaned as he began to thrust softly inside of me, pulling back a little bit more and digging further into me each time. I gripped onto his shoulders tightly making some of his tan skin turn a little white as I did so. I couldn't believe what was happening until he pulled out of me and pushed back in roughly. I gasped and felt my heart move faster as he continued this action keeping a good pace as he did so.

I couldn't hold on anymore and felt myself release.

XOXO

That's when I woke up, every time that when I would wake up. I always want to see the ending. Like a movie your parents court you watching that they said wasn't age appropriate and it just got to the good part. I sighed as I think about my dreams again. Elena comes running up the stairs, or I thought it was Elena, but when there was a knock at my door I was shocked. Normally she'd just slam the door open. I got up and opened it slowly.

When I opened the door, a pair of lips crashed down onto my own. I gasped before I began to kiss them back. I moaned as the lips slowed down and the kiss became more slow and passionate instead of fiery and forceful. In all honesty I wasn't sure which one I liked more. When I pulled away for air I gasped as I saw who it was I had just been kissing, "There will you stop watching me during practice now?" I looked down at the floor in embarrassment, "Well? Are done spying on me?" I nodded my head.

"Liar," Tyler stated simply, "This is going to be hard then I thought." Tyler mumbled to himself. He looked at me and smirked before pulling me back towards him by the waistband of my pants. He kissed me on the lips softly, one his hands moving under my shirt to rest on my lower back making me shudder. He kissed me again but this time lingered for a few seconds. He kissed me again his other hand going up into my hair holding me in place. I moaned as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I pulled away quickly.

"What about Vickie?" I asked quickly.

"Vickie doesn't matter," Tyler said quietly against my lips, "You matter." Tyler said simply before leaning in and kissing me again. I know it was a line, and a cheesy one at that, but the fact that he said it, I couldn't resist him. I didn't want, he was...perfect. His lips were softer then I thought they would be, they didn't really have a pacific taste to them but it was a mixture of sweetness and such. I moaned again and allowed him to lead me backwards towards my bed. God, I wanted him.

His hand moved around to chest and traced the way down to my pants. We pulled away slightly and I looked down at his hand that was removing my jeans with ease. I looked back up at him and gulped, the fear that this was going to hurt like hell slipping in. Tyler kissed my cheek as he pushed down my pants, "Are you sure you want this, Jeremy?" Tyler asked as if he really cared about what I wanted; he was going to do it anyway. Just to get it out of my system. Sadness followed the fear cruelly.

He started to kiss my neck before slipping off my shirt and then his own. He began to kiss down my chest just like in my dreams. He even stopped to bite a piece of skin, such to leave a mark. But this...wasn't right to me. He didn't mean what he trying to feel. I was pretty sure that he was picturing Vickie. I pushed him away from me and sighed before grabbing my shirt and slipping it back on, "Tell me that you are in love with me," I said simply, sitting there patiently waiting for his answer quietly.

He cleared his throat before rolling his eyes and grabbing his shirt. Putting it on before turning back to look at me, "...I love you." He said as if ashamed by his own words and left. I sighed; if he couldn't accept it...I couldn't be with him. But I was sure that in time, we would be together. If he really felt this way, we would be together. I smiled and watched as he walked down the street. I would be fine. But would he?

XOXO

ManaMcC