"We should reach the portal to the next level by midmorning." Kurama said offering Shizuru a piece of meat that had been cooked over their small campfire.
Shizuru accepted the meat with only a glance towards Kurama before returning to staring out into the darkened woods that they had stopped in for the night.
From his vantage point in a tree right across from the two he could see the lack of expression on her face in the dim light cast by the campfire.
Shizuru had spoken very little since they had begun to travel which he could only be satisfied with. The more often he was subjected to that familiar voice the more aware of her he found himself being.
He despised that he was that aware of her, that his mind insisted he watch her for differences in her demeanor for signs that would have cemented that this imposter was only that and nothing more.
Unfortunately there were far too many similarities, small nuances of how she had always moved or habits he had thought exclusive to her remained exactly the same.
Shizuru cast aside the twig she had been chewing on to eat, flicking it in exactly the same manner she had cast aside her cigarettes in the Human World and sending an indescribable tendril of resentment and reminder through him for a moment.
Did she have to be so reminiscent of the real being she was only a shadow of?
She would have been less than prepared for life in the Demon World.
As cunning and strong as that person had been they would have struggled with the realities of life in his world.
The imposter did many things she would have needed to be taught and most likely would have found annoying to a certain degree. Foraging for food as they moved through areas that held it as they traveled was a necessity here. This creature did so without prompt, acting in every way he would have expected a demon to act even stopping at streams to rehydrate and never for long.
While he had no doubt she would have learned such vital things it would have taken her some time to acclimate. She had been a person of convenience and he doubted she had spent anytime within any actually wooded areas on purpose.
That thought brought with it a small quirk to his lips, her even attempting the type of life he led when not in her company.
He could easily imagine her disdain for the experience.
The small lift faded quickly, his mind catching hold of the knowledge that there had been many things they had not shared or been given the chance to.
His brow furrowed as he shoved that thought aside along with the surge of familiar ache that came along with those momentary bouts of self indulgence.
He could not dwell on those thoughts; they came too often and always lingered with their poisonous intent to drag him further into the abyss that existed in his core.
"Hiei?", Kurama prompted from the ground.
He glared down at the fox demon, "I have no need."
He would be damned if he admitted he was unwilling to move any closer to the female, that he was much too aware of her to trust his own reactions.
He required at least this distance from her, if not further if his thoughts would not resolve themselves into a form less destructive.
Shizuru reached to her side for something, and then a small troubled look crossed her face before she sighed heavily.
"Is something wrong?" Kurama asked sitting a few feet from her with his own meal.
"No, its nothing." Shizuru insisted, waving the concern off, "I just forgot I lost something."
"Was it important?" Kurama questioned taking a bite of the meat.
"To me," Shizuru answered readily enough setting aside her meal, "it was just a knife."
Kurama's brow furrowed, "I take it this was a recent loss?"
"A few days ago I got into it with some guards in the market. I went back to try to find it but by then most of the vendors had cleared out." Shizuru explained with a small shrug.
Kurama seemed to consider Shizuru for a long moment before reaching into his cloak.
"Would this be the knife?" Kurama asked, quietly.
He felt his eyes widen slightly at the sight of the knife in the fox demon's hands.
When had Kurama come across that knife?!
He could not convince himself Kurama had not known who the blade belonged to, the shape of it was burned into his own memory and he had very little exposure to it.
The knife had belonged to Narumi, Kurama's female. At some point Kurama had informed him that Narumi had gifted the knife back to its original owner though at the time he had admittedly been much too wrapped up in hisown storm of emotion to pay much attention to that detail.
What was it doing here and in Kurama's care?!
Shizuru gazed down at the knife for a long moment, "Why…do you have that?"
Her tone was dull but he could hear the small sliver of suspicion in it.
"I came across a vendor in the market not long after there was a small disruption." Kurama explained continuing to hold out the knife, "The vendor offered me free fare since apparently the fight had occurred while someone was defending him. That someone had asked many questions about me and my past. He had to move on but felt I may come across this person since they had shown such an interest in me. You do possess quite a bit of knowledge about my group for someone that insists they are uninterested."
Shizuru's eyes grew hard, "Keep it."
"Was I mistaken?" Kurama questioned in obvious confusion.
"I won't be roped in more than I am." Shizuru stated, pushing herself to her feet, "Keep it or toss it. I don't really care what happens to it."
"I…" Kurama began standing as well.
"I have a choice." Shizuru interrupted, her brow furrowing slightly, "I won't let you or Kanako force me to do anything. I have to live with what I am, with this thing in me but I don't have to cooperate when it's staring me in the face. You should've left it with the geezer; it wasn't any of your business."
Shizuru turned her back to Kurama, disappearing into the darkness.
It was a strange display of emotion, one that almost distracted him from putting together what had to have occurred for Kurama to have possession of the knife itself.
Below him Kurama sighed heavily, replacing the knife within the folds of his cloak.
If he was more prone to delusion he might have been able to cast off the emotions that stirred within his core.
All he could think was that Kurama was far more invested in the blood debt he owed than he had previously given him credit for.
Why else would the fox demon keep to himself that he had been aware of the charlatan being so close?
He had underestimated Kurama, allowed himself to forget that Youko was very much still a part of his partner.
Youko Kurama had been known for his actions against those that had earned his ire, his retributions the stuff of legends within the circles of thieves that had raised him.
Kurama may have chosen to become more of a part of the Human World but he had always suspected beneath what the fox demon allowed to show there still burned the sadistic temperament he had earned such a distinct reputation with.
Did it matter to him that Kurama would initiate such depth of revenge?
Wasn't it what he had thought should occur at some point?
At least now he could truly expect the final blow, know exactly who it was that held sway over his life.
It was only too appropriate that he be made to suffer for his crime, Kurama the best suited to enact the depths of what he had truly earned.
There was a fair amount of solace in that knowledge, a dark satisfaction garnered from the lashes of betrayal and pain that whipped through his core.
"I would say she trusts even less than you." Kurama commented, turning to look up at him, "Quite a personal feat wouldn't you agree, Hiei?"
Trust less?
It was because of his trust in Kurama that he could feel the shadowed gratitude he felt in that moment, and not view things as a coward might.
"What else are you keeping to yourself, fox?" He asked, dispassionately.
"At the time I had no reason to believe I would encounter her." Kurama offered, discarding any pretense, "It was…"
"Exactly why she rejects its return," He said, narrowing his eyes, "You know that."
Now he could allow the smoldering rage to color his tone, being forced to acknowledge he understood the creature's motives in rejecting what should have seemed like a gift only enflamed it more.
It wasn't the knife itself but the implied link to Fate that Kurama had ended up with the knife.
It was the lack of choice, the forced interaction that could easily be seen.
He was aware of it only because he could not forget those varied undertones of before and hated those moments as well.
"Would you have me toss it aside as well just because it goes against your grain?" Kurama asked, with annoyance.
"I would have you recall I could care less." He returned, folding his arms across his chest.
"She has nothing else of her past, Hiei." Kurama murmured, his expression troubled.
"And you would have me pity…her." He half growled, tensing.
He did not want to have this discussion.
The corners of Kurama's mouth twisted upward, "No, I would never think to tell you how to feel, Hiei. I would however like for you to be aware this is a complex matter, more so because she insists on remaining with us."
His eyes narrowed more, "What does that mean?"
"She isn't free, Hiei. What we thought was accomplished back then…we were not as successful as we thought." Kurama explained, the smile falling away as he turned to the fire.
"Speak plainly, Kurama." He barked, annoyance flaring with half understanding.
Kurama could not be saying what he thought he was could he?
The one solace he had taken away from that excruciating experience could not be stripped away so easily could it?
"We both know what happens when the Dragon is near Fate's energies. Do you think you can contain it if…?" Kurama ventured, tightly.
"It hasn't reacted to her once." He snapped, wanting to force Kurama to be silent.
He was not lying in the matter, not once in her presence had the Dragon even shifted within its confines on his arm nor inside his mind.
Kurama had to be mistaken; the Dragon could not stand to be in the presence of Fate without reacting in some manner to its nearness.
It had to be gone from her.
It had to be or there was only that her body had continued living to counteract what he had done to her.
It had to be that she was as Takeo had been left after Shinya and Kanako had interfered and cast the wardings into his skin.
She should only feel those brushings of Fate, no longer completely subjugated by it.
He felt his lip begin to curl with the growing storm inside of himself.
"You heard what Kanako said, it exists within her still." Kurama reminded him, scowling at the fire.
"He could easily have meant she is aware of it." He retorted, angrily.
"Are you willing to gamble on a poor choice of words?" Kurama tossed back at him, "If she is the embodiment then sooner or later the Dragon will react…"
"I have full control." He snapped, uneasily.
He should have thought about that particular hazard to being so close to her, been more aware of that particular threat but he had been distracted by her presence.
He had gained more control over the Dragon but there was the chance he had been fooling himself.
His hands, hidden beneath his cloak, fisted once again as he recalled the strength of the Dragon's first response to a pulse from the opposing universal concept.
His inability to move, the amount of strain it had caused him to be unable to react in any fashion as he had watched the fight between her and that demon that had almost killed her on the dais of that underground fighting ring.
The absolute sense of helplessness it had caused him each time the Dragon had broken loose of its restraints.
The rustle of foliage announced the return of the imposter, Shizuru appearing out of the darkness like some phantom bent on twisting his senses.
His narrowed eyes took in the reality of her once again, a traitorous part of him relaxing in the proof of her continued existence just as it had time and time again during this farce of a situation. Another part, one more welcome rebelling against everything Kurama had just forced him to acknowledge.
It twisted within his core, ripping at his equilibrium.
He could not help but despise this creature, curse her internally for looking at him as she did now.
It flashed through him, that same mind numbing agony.
Know me!
He could not stay here another moment.
"I'm going to die."
He could not breathe within the same space as this pale comparison to who had been there before.
"I'm going to die and that's it. No fluffy clouds for me. I'm going to die and then poof…no more me."
He could not suffer another second of that look of barely concealed heedlessness.
"You can't avoid it, Hiei. You can't make it go away. You won't get any more time with me. I'm going to die and…"
A shiver ran through his body, barely perceptible to him as he gazed down at this thing that had taken her place.
"I won't be in Spirit World. Not you or Kurama or Yusuke or Koenma can do a damn thing about it. I'm going to…"
The one below narrowed her eyes as if she could feel the pounding menace that traveled through him, that ate at his control.
"…give it to me…"
He followed his instinct, leaving before he could do anything else. Escaping into the night that quietly enfolded him as he rushed through the trees, ignoring all else but the flow of travel and the ache that burned in his core.
She blinked in surprise as Hiei disappeared from one moment to the next.
She was accustomed to speed but that abrupt departure had been fairly impressive.
"You'll have to forgive Hiei. He tends to scout when he is restless." Kurama offered by way of explanation as the fox demon settled against another tree, "He'll return as soon as he's established that there isn't a threat nearby."
"Sure," She said, allowing the obvious lie to go unchallenged.
She wasn't going to talk about the strange look that had crossed Hiei's face as he gazed down at her, or of the distinct impression she had that the fire demon had been in pain though he had truly looked as if he wanted to end her life.
How she had decided it was not murderous intent she wasn't sure but she hadn't tensed as she normally would have under a threat.
In fact for a second her heart had fluttered oddly again under that intense regard.
"Your life has been dedicated to the principles of Fate against your will." Kurama stated, into the silence, "I apologize for forgetting."
She turned slightly so that she could see the red head out of the corner of her eye.
Consideration wasn't exactly new to her; Kanako did sometimes offer it to her though it was in a stunted fashion. It was always obviously concentrated effort on his part when it happened.
Kanako's race simply didn't bother with niceties; there was usually something much more important going on. Even though the entire race spoke in that same delay of information fashion they were blunt in their own way.
"I've never seen a human before." She commented, looking away from Kurama, "That's what you are right? That's why you talk like that."
It did bother her to a certain extent, but then again it always had. There was something about someone being nice to her that set her on edge that confused her in how to react to it. She normally regarded it with suspicion wondering what the person wanted from her instead of accepting the offered familiarity.
"My body is human yes," Kurama corrected, sounding slightly amused, "though I do retain my demonic soul."
"That's what the geezer at the market said." She acknowledged, shifting to look more fully at the fox demon, "I wasn't interested in you. I wanted to know why Shinya was."
The time she had spent away from the pair had brought with it a certain kind of steadying force.
She had over reacted to the reappearance of the knife, she knew that but it had been automatic to reject such an obvious sign of Fate.
She needed to get better control over those moments, stop allowing herself to only react instead of thinking through the moment. She did have a tendency to let her actions mask that situation where she didn't understand the sway of emotions within her but that wasn't a good enough excuse.
"You've never encountered a human before?" Kurama questioned, curiously.
"I've never been taken higher then middling levels." She admitted, shrugging slightly as she leaned against a nearby tree, "To be honest I've always kind of thought of them as a story."
It could have been her imagination; she could have misinterpreted the emotion that passed over Kurama's face in that second.
She could have been mistaken that a certain amount of sadness crossed those jade green eyes only to be well hidden in the next moment.
"Many demons go a lifetime without ever encountering one." Kurama offered, quietly, "Most of those that need them for sustenance dwell in the higher levels of Demon World. It is the design of this world. The lower one goes the less likely one is to need what they supply."
"That makes sense," She replied, studying him in the firelight, "you still talk weird."
"How so?" Kurama asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You're…nice…" She answered, lamely, "It just doesn't go with the way I'm use to people being. Your sidekick is more normal which isn't saying much."
Kurama smirked, "Admittedly my time in the Human World has altered the manner I deal with others. I see no reason to constantly offer abrasiveness. I've already had a lifetime of doing so. And I would appreciate you never referring to Hiei as my sidekick within his presence that would only incite his less desirable responses."
It was her turn to smirk, "There's less desirable to glaring, silent and pissy?"
"For him those are tame," Kurama said with a light laugh.
The smirk relaxed into a genuine smile, something inside of her uncoiling slightly with the shared amusement.
It was pleasant, something she had only felt while being alone with Kanako.
That thought brought with it the shift of loss within her ashen senses, chasing away the smile and the pleasant mood.
He averted his eyes as the smile faded from Shizuru's expression; loathe to witness the sudden change of emotion when they had finally found common ground.
He was still considering all that he knew given her recent confession that she had thought humans were mere fairytale.
Had Shinya and Kanako kept her that much in the dark?
Had it been necessary to not reveal her species to her?
Granted he did not know all of the circumstances surrounding those decisions but this seemed unusually cruel to deny her even that.
Once again he found himself wishing he had more time to speak alone with Kanako, to determine if Shinya's grave warnings of informing her of her past held any validity.
He found his eyes traveling to her form once again, taking in the distinct wisps of energies that she seemed unaware were in constant flux around her.
Shizuru's energies could very easily be mistaken as purely demonic, that they were in constant display could mask the fact she was human in origin for most demons.
One would have to concentrate on her, perhaps in battle to determine the strange additions of spiritual energies to those demonic ones. One would also have to know that difference and here in the lower levels the odds of crossing a human with strong spiritual energies was extremely farfetched.
Still how could they have not told her?
Unless they anticipated her being a threat to the Human World if she was made aware of her heritage…
His brow furrowed as he studied her.
If that was the case he would have to tread very carefully with the subject matter until he understood the nuances of Fate within her.
There were many unknown dangers inherent to them traveling together without knowledge.
Forcing Hiei to acknowledge the danger the Dragon represented had been a necessity but he could not warn Shizuru in the same manner of that danger, not without the background of her past being immediately revealed.
He had to establish what she did or did not know of herself, guide her towards the information without betraying their past with one another.
"How long have you traveled with Kanako?" He asked, carefully keeping his tone light with simple curiosity.
Kanako seemed the better choice of mentioning, Shizuru had a deeply seated hatred of Shinya and her reaction to the mention of the elder of the two was now a predictable thing. If he wanted to draw her out he needed to avoid mentioning anything that might create hostility in her.
A dark smirk twisted Shizuru's lips, "Most of my life…"
"I…don't understand." He remarked, slowly.
Shizuru looked at him, her eyes dark with thought.
The moment lengthened, the silence becoming heavy with thoughtful purpose.
He waited patiently; there was little else he could do considering the circumstances.
"I've only been alive for three years." Shizuru admitted, folding her arms again, "I woke up one day and they were there. I don't remember anything that happened before that."
"Nothing?" He repeated, tension filling him.
"That first year they stayed in their village, kept me close until I could get a handle on my energies." Shizuru explained, moving to sit against the tree she had been leaning on, "But no I still don't remember anything. I gave up on that awhile ago. It doesn't really matter if I ever remember what happened. From what I was told about it I'm not sure I want to."
He allowed it to move through him, the emotions her soft tone stirred within him.
Shizuru was most likely unaware of the lost quality to her words, to the distant expression on her features as she spoke.
"What exactly did they tell you?" He questioned, gently.
Shizuru sighed softly, "I guess before I was what they called a Phoenix Soul. I wasn't supposed to live through it but I did."
What was that in her voice?
Regret?
Resentment?
"That…is a very dangerous Soul to the mortal worlds." He offered, gauging her for reaction to his knowledge.
She turned her head to look at him, smiling slightly, "Doesn't surprise me you know what that is. How much do you know about Witnesses, Kurama?"
He forced himself to relax under her regard; she was testing him just as he had been testing her. It was a quality that seemed to have translated well through the memory loss; Shizuru had constantly gauged those around her most times without their notice.
He had often suspected she knew more about them then they had explained to her directly but that had been a part of her charm.
"Much more than I wish to," He returned, honestly, "but enough to know a few things about those that survive."
Shizuru's brow furrowed "Was that what happened with you guys? The Witness survived? It doesn't happen a lot from what I was told."
He averted his eyes once again, "Yes, they survived though it cost more than we were prepared for."
He let it hang in the air, abruptly uncertain how he would proceed with this particular conversation. He was not immune to that extended sense of loss, to the surge of desire for her to know him once more as she had before.
"Is that why he hates me?"
His eyes rounded with surprise, snapping up to find her watching him intently.
Shizuru nodded slightly as if to herself as she looked away from him.
"That makes more sense, I guess I would hate me too if I had to face that kind of thing again." Shizuru murmured, thoughtfully, "It would probably bother me more if I could feel anything."
"Why do you say things in that manner?" He prompted, wanting to understand the odd note in her voice.
"Because it's the truth," Shizuru replied, unconcerned, "I'm not capable of that sort of thing; of feeling…I don't know what that would be…"
"Empathy," He supplied disturbed.
"I can understand it but it's not in me to…feel." Shizuru continued, shrugging with one shoulder, "I guess it's a price I paid for surviving. When it comes down to it when I say I don't care it isn't me saying it to avoid a feeling. I mean I don't have it in me. I don't even know why I'm telling you this."
"Perhaps you simply need to say it out loud." He ventured, quietly.
"No, it's because I don't want you thinking something that isn't real." Shizuru denied, closing her eyes, "We can't be friends, Kurama. I can't be anything. All me surviving did was give Fate a way to step in to this world without having to wait. I'm dangerous because I never really know when that's going to happen. Kanako wanted you to depend on me and that's just stupid. I don't trust me so why should you."
"Because I have little choice in the matter," He responded, carefully, "not because of Fate but because there is no other to depend on aside from you. We must stop Masanori as soon as possible and you are the only link to that end."
"It must be hard to carry all that damn weight of doing the right thing like that." Shizuru muttered, darkly.
"It does have its undesirable consequences." He agreed, smiling slightly, "But there are worse things to be in life."
Shizuru snorted with derision, "Like what?"
"Being without purpose," He returned, gaining her open eyed consideration, "we all have those choices as well. To do nothing in the face of need, to ignore the necessity of life itself. It is one of the reasons I choose to remain in the Human World."
"I don't have anything to say to that." Shizuru admitted, settling more solidly against the tree in preparation for sleep, "I've been told from the beginning my only purpose for still being alive was to be what Fate decided for me."
"By Kanako…or Shinya?" He questioned pointedly.
He could not express the surge of offense he felt in her being led in that manner.
Mortals were not toys to be moved around by universal concepts and for her of all beings to be conditioned to accept such a thing was beyond his comprehension.
"Does it matter?" Shizuru responded quietly before closing her eyes, "My life is what it is, right? You don't have to get bunched up because now you know some of it. I'll help you with Masanori, that's all that should matter to you."
He accepted the obvious intention to end the conversation, settling himself into a more comfortable position against his own tree.
He did not however accept the terms she seemed to be at peace with in that moment.
It was only a façade she wanted him to invest in, she had shown too many signs that she did not accept that role as her own.
Shizuru could not be left in this state of ambiguity, one without some compass to guide her along.
He still did not know Hiei's reasoning behind remaining with them but he was certain it would eventually come out as something akin to returning her to Kuwabara.
It was one of the many things that could be prompting Hiei's actions, and knowing the fire demon as well as he did that was the most likely.
It would appease Hiei's honor code; perhaps even to the point he would no longer assume a blood debt was the required payment of what had occurred in the past.
He would still have to keep careful watch over his own words, there were still so many unknown factors concerning Shizuru.
At what point does this become no longer about betraying Hiei's wishes for the past to remain as such?
Again he found himself wishing for the presence of the others, if only for distraction.
Hiei and Shizuru had already shown signs of being at odds with one another and he could only anticipate more if not an escalation of it as they continued on their trek.
He rubbed at his forehead as it throbbed with that strange inner pressure once more.
It would not do for him to become ill at this point, he would have to be careful with his own health as well.
He was also uncertain how he would resolve the issue of the implication that they would need the others to accomplish stopping the Chimera Soul.
He had no concrete way to establish communication with Yusuke or Kuwabara and Hiromi seemed to have lost track of them. He had been expecting the ancient reaper to appear long before now to take the Darkened Gate back to Spirit World but so far there had been no sign of her.
At the very least he needed to come into contact with a reaper to send along the message that the others were necessary to accomplish this particular assignment.
As dark as the thought was he assumed he would come across one at some point, there was no denying they would come into areas the Chimera Soul had traveled through where no one had survived.
He forced himself to relax, knowing it was common for there to be a lack of information concerning these assignments, as well as difficulties in communication and direct contact.
Being in the employ of Spirit World came with its own annoyances.
Hopefully Hiei would return before morning, or gain some semblance of sleep where ever it was that he had finally ended up.
I'm sorry the chap is so short but it had to be, next one should be longer. Please REVIEW XD!