Doc sent all the onlookers away as he tried to comfort Vash. The poor man was wrapped around himself and looked more like a lost child than the most infamous gunman this planet had ever known. Doc fished his own flask out of his pocket and handed it to Vash. Now was not the time for lectures on liver health.

"Come on, Vash." Doc patted Vash on the shoulder as Vash drank from the flask. "You've got to get a hold of yourself."

Vash handed the flask back shakily. What had he been doing? Why had he acted like that? He just couldn't help but ruin every good thing that came into his life. "Milly was right," he said tiredly. "I didn't do enough to insure everyone's safety. I didn't do enough…to protect her."

The story of his life…

Doc looked Vash over with concerned eyes. "I think you need some rest. You seem mentally and physically exhausted. Have you been sleeping recently? If you're having nightmares, I can prescribe a sedative," he suggested. "I can have guards posted outside of this room…"

Vash shook his head violently and stood up. "Out of the question, Doc." He leaned against the wall as a wave of dizziness hit him. It was getting harder and harder to deny his own exhaustion.

Doc tried one more time to try to get Vash to rest. "Vash, you know you don't have to face this alone."

Vash looked down and chuckled humorlessly at the floor before walking into his room. The door slid silently shut behind him. He walked into the kitchen and completely ignored Knives, who was lying on the couch Meryl had been sitting on. For three days, he'd tried to get Knives to talk to him, and for three days, his efforts begot him nothing but silence. And now this: he'd almost lost Meryl. Forever. He needed another drink. Vash got a glass out of a cabinet and filled it half way with liquor.

Knives was still holding onto the listening device. "That stupid human," Knives said to Vash's back. "You've got a twin," Knives scoffed. "You'll never be alone."

Vash almost laughed. His brother's words couldn't be farther from the truth. He was alone even as he stood in the same room with Knives. He'd already alienated the girls, and by the way Milly had spoken to him earlier, he wouldn't be surprised if he never saw either one of them again. Maybe he had lost Meryl forever… And he was well on his way to shutting out Doc, the last remaining human he thought would dare count him as a friend.

Knives dabbed at his nose with the back of an index finger. "That was quite a display earlier. You almost had me scared." His nose had stopped bleeding. He sat up slowly. "And what exactly did you do to your hair? Are you trying to be more like them?" He watched Vash as he took another sip of alcohol. He didn't appreciate being ignored. "And I was wondering if you could tell me why you are so fascinated by suicidal women…"

The glass in Vash's hand shattered in his grip. Knives smiled. "Struck a nerve?"

Vash looked down at the glass and alcohol disaster in front of him. He muttered something, but Knives couldn't quite make it out.

"Excuse me?"

"I said," Vash spoke just a bit louder this time. Knives still had to strain to hear him. "It's over."

Knives didn't exactly know where his brother was going with this. "I don't understand."

"It's over Knives. It's just…over." He paused. "I can't fight for peace. You of all people must recognize the logical impossibility of that statement." Vash turned around and looked at Knives. "I can't handle it. I can't handle any more death. No more death…" He trailed off.

Knives sneered. He always thought it was cute when Vash tried to be logical. "You mean you can't watch any more of your weak, precious little humans die? The ones you've put above even me? Even your own brother?"

"Knives. I won." There was no pride in his voice, no celebration. There was only resignation. "You can mock my anger and my pain, but it won't change that fact. I won and I won't fight you any more. If you stop trying to hurt people, I promise I'll protect you, but if you don't…" He trailed off again. He was so tired. He took a deep breath. "If you don't, then a human might be able to get a hold of you…and I might not be able to stop them…"

"What kind of threat is that, Vash?" Knives knew when his brother was bluffing, and he was bluffing. Definitely bluffing. Definitely.

Vash rubbed his temples with both hands, trying to concentrate. His voice came out flat, with all the passion reserved for reciting the phone book. "Both of the seeds in your body have been removed. Without them, the plants won't respond to you like they used to. Without their full resonance, you won't be able to regenerate your body. Without a regenerated body, you can be killed by conventional methods. I'm sure that you've still got some sort of defense mechanism, but it's weakened without those seeds, isn't it." Vash paused as he drew in a tired breath. "You probably even have trouble controlling your telepathic powers now. In this state, you need to learn how to cooperate with the humans, or you're going to get yourself killed." Vash dropped his hands and looked at his brother. "This is no threat. Do you understand now?"

Knives' eyes widened in shock. This kind of logic wasn't cute. He'd simply assumed he would be able to eventually escape and grow back his mutilated arms. After all, he'd regenerated much larger parts of his body in the past. "How can you possibly know this?" he shouted.

"You're not the only one who can hack into the computer's records."

Knives' eyes narrowed with anger. "You're lying. You're lying!"

Vash sighed, wishing the sudden pounding in his head would stop. He couldn't decide whether another drink or sleep would help combat the throbbing better. "Lots of research was done on the way plants interact. To engage in the highest levels of energy production, they resonate with each other. Their seeds resonate. You. don't. have. any. seeds. They probably wouldn't respond any differently to you than to a plant engineer now."

This was impossible. How could Vash be saying this? That now…he was practically…one of them? Knives started to scream. "I'm…going to kill everyone! I'm going to do it! I'll start with that little one from earlier…the one who knows too much. You can't even imagine what I saw in her head! ...And then I'll kill everyone else! You'll be sorry!" Knives continued to rant.

Vash walked over to the counter, ignoring the rant, and realized he wouldn't be able to sleep without another drink anyway. He grabbed an open bottle. "Okay, well, if you're going to kill everybody, just do it quietly…"

"I'M NOT KIDDING!"

Vash finally turned completely to Knives. "JUST EXACTLY WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "Are you going to spin around and slap people to death? These people have been living on a planet that could aptly be described as the first circle of hell on a GOOD DAY! Do you really think they're so defenseless?" He spoke through clenched jaws. "You've forced them to struggle to survive and they've come through…in a way, you should be proud… I mean, IT IS ALL THANKS TO YOU!" He took several breaths to calm himself down. Yelling wasn't going to change anything and it wasn't going to make him feel better. He'd proven that to himself earlier. "It's over, Knives. The sooner you realize it, the sooner we can both get on with our lives." He walked towards one of the bedrooms and stood in the doorway. "It's been over a century," he said sadly. "Hasn't this gone on long enough?" He stood very still for a moment, like he was waiting for an answer, but none ever came. He sighed heavily as he walked into the room without looking back. The door slid shut behind him.

Knives was burning with fury. Vash was wrong, and he would prove it.

"Stop it now, Meryl! You are not fine," Milly demanded. "As the junior investigator, it is my responsibility to the Agency to relieve you of your duties if your role as objective observer becomes compromised as stated in the handbook, chapter 17, article 5, page 1846."

Meryl was shocked. She didn't know Milly had even read the Bernardelli Employee Handbook, let alone that she was prepared to recite it from memory. She could put up with Milly's mothering, and would sit obediently in bed and drink the hot tea her friend had made for her, but really now! She was perfectly capable of serving until her term of office was over! And she didn't like that tone… "Excuse me, Milly? What exactly has been compromised? This case has become my life! I wouldn't do anything to sabotage --"

Milly shook her head at her sempai. "Just listen to yourself! If you were being objective, you wouldn't be saying things like that!" Milly sat down next to Meryl. She spoke delicately. "Meryl…I know…you care about Mr. Vash." Meryl looked at her and almost attempted to deny it, but Milly's innocent eyes drug the truth right out of her. She didn't even have to say anything. Milly already knew. "And it's good to care about people. It's honest and natural and brave and good…but you can't get in over your head. You can't let yourself get killed because of it." Milly was quiet a moment. "I mean, think about it Meryl. What would it do to Vash if you died?" Another pause. "Don't you remember…that man…he shot?"

A sudden flash of the man in the white jacket flashed before her eyes. He had a bullet hole in his skull. She was holding a gun, her sleeve ripped…except it wasn't her arm and it wasn't her gun… "Please, Milly," she begged. "Of course I remember. What's the point of bringing it up?"

"I just don't want you to forget what he did for us…and what it did to him to make that decision."

Meryl looked down as her vision filled with water. "Milly," she started quietly, resolutely, "I would never forget that. Never in a million years would I forget…"

At the first sign of tears, Milly pulled Meryl into a hug. There had been a time when Meryl would have fought off this kind of attention with tooth and nail. When had she gotten so weak? When had Milly ceased to be a coworker and become more like a sister?

"Everything is going to be alright," Milly said as she held onto her friend.

It was so strange. She'd just evaded death by the narrowest of margins, and at the hands of Knives, no less… But all she could think was how…

"Vash is going to hate me."

"What are you talking about!" Milly exclaimed. When Doc had paged her intercom and told her he needed her help, she didn't know what to expect. Meryl was always the one Doc contacted for insurance matters…in fact, she thought Meryl had been with him the entire time. When she'd gotten to Vash's room, Vash was holding onto an unconscious Meryl and screaming at the top of his lungs at Doc. He didn't want anybody to touch her. He wanted everyone to go away. He wasn't making any sense. He even yelled at her, too, and he'd told her to go away in that voice that meant business. Doc knew that Knives was in that room and had more or less pieced together what had happened. Vash's yelling didn't help things. Meryl stayed unconscious through most of it. Vash huddled around Meryl as Doc pulled her to the side and told Milly what he thought had happened. Righteous fury erupted out of Milly. She stared Vash in the eye and told him exactly what she thought of him. How dare he allow harm to come to Meryl? Didn't he care about her? Didn't he want her to be safe? His eyes were hard as he stared at her. Milly noticed Meryl had regained consciousness. Meryl started to scream and the look in Vash's eyes completely deteriorated. What was once hardness was replaced with helplessness.

Milly gave her friend a little squeeze. "I know he doesn't hate you." If the whole screaming episode hadn't proven it, that look in his eyes as she pushed away from him was evidence enough. Helplessness, however, wasn't enough where Meryl's life was concerned. "In fact, I still need to talk to him."

Meryl's head popped up. "No, Milly, please," she pleaded

The look in Milly's eyes changed from compassionate to hurt. "He almost let you get killed!" She let go of her friend and went to the stove to pour another cup of tea. "Plus, I need to collect interviews for the report."

Meryl's brain went blank. "Re-re-report?"

Milly smiled. "Well, yeah, Meryl. Who's going to write them if you don't?"

What was she going to say to Vash? What was she going to tell him? What was she going to do if she didn't have her job to keep her pseudo-busy? Meryl tried to appeal to her emotions. "He tried to tell me to stay away. I…I just didn't listen to him!"

Milly cocked an eyebrow. "Well, he certainly didn't try hard enough, then." She turned to Meryl and flashed her a dazzling smile. "Don't worry, Sempai, I'll even leave my stungun here!"

A surge of embarrassment flooded through her body. She'd basically been demoted by her junior partner, she'd lost all usefulness she still pretended to possess, and Milly was going to have words with Vash over the way she'd been treated. Her life...was over.

After a few minutes, Milly excused herself, saying she had a few errands to run. Milly asked her if she was okay. She said she was, but Milly had been right. She wasn't fine...not at all.

She kept up a strong face, but as soon as her door slid closed, she started to fall apart. She used to have control over her life! She used to know where she was going! But little by little, she felt like she was losing that control.

She was starting to wonder why she even stayed.

A/N: well, another chapter updated. you guys will have to wait for the milly beat down until next chapter. thanks everybody for reviewing!

:waits:

REVIEW SOME MORE:):):)