AN-Here is my Christmas/Saturnalia present to all of those loyal readers out there. I love you all more than is healthy for a person you all have never met and who has never met any of you lol. Also I want to thank 2 people who helped edit this chapter, my new beta Nameless Fable and new friend Shara Michelle. They have both been very helpful to getting this chapter out.

Reviews and suggestions are always appreciated and I am 2 pages in to Chapter 15, so don't worry on that one!

Time passes, as is the way of life. We adopt routines and in doing so we enter a state of comfort in our routines. Even those of us that crave excitement, adventure, and spontaneity, the routines we set up for ourselves, the ones that are bad for us, good for us, either way we use these routines to give us a sense of control of our ever chaotic and uncontrollable lives. Thus was the case for one Penny Darling.

The only problem with this was that Ms. Penny was the antithesis of all things routine.

Her time on the farm was a hell for her because in order to run a farm you have to be on a perfect routine. She would always do things to try and change up her father's farm routine to make it more exciting, but he would constantly push that the way the world worked was only by having a strict routine. She was the same about school.

The moment she met Sheldon Cooper, she knew, what with the way he was so set upon his own seat, his own food, his own personal space, routine, days, laundry night, the crazy in her apartment in the middle of the night cleaning after him only knowing her like, three days, she knew that there was no way they could coexist as a couple without killing each other. They were both too headstrong and stubborn in their feelings toward things. They were polar opposites and while they could be friends, you couldn't convince Penny that they would ever be able to be in the same space for days on end and not erupt into a giant ball of fire and incinerate the other in their frustration and anger at each other's implacability.

The surprising thing for everyone, Penny especially, was that while they both did erupt into balls of fire it wasn't out of frustration and anger that caused the heat but passion and awesome sex amazingly enough.

Everyone knew that if there was one word that wasn't in Sheldon Cooper's personal dictionary it was "compromise". He once told Leonard, during one of the rare moments that Leonard tried to fight back against Sheldon's special brand of crazy, that it was as his MeeMaw often said "Sheldon's way or the highway,".

So when Sheldon practically moved in to Penny's apartment that he so lovingly (note the sarcasm) once referred to as, "pit of germs and cavern of entropy", she was certain his rotting corpse would be stinking up the place within a week, thanks to some "accidental" rat poison in his Mt. Dew. Lo and behold though, before she knew it two months had passed and they had officially been dating for four months.

Penny hadn't even realized it was happening it was so insidious and when she sat him down to ask about it, he said in his own special Whack-a-Doodle way, "It only makes logical sense does it not? Our cohabitation has been forthcoming for some time. Thanks to your daily trips over, invited or not," insert Penny eye roll here, "it is quite like we have been living together for quite a while hasn't it?"

She realized he was right, but even so, she was more than a little miffed he hadn't talked to her about it. She didn't blame him for making the assumption it would be ok, because he was just being Sheldon and she knew he didn't mean any harm by it. Because she still hadn't given the go ahead on an official move in though, something he made her quite aware he wasn't happy about, he still had most of his stuff in his and Leonard's apartment.

He rarely ever went over there voluntarily for more than an extra set of clothes or to make sure Leonard hadn't messed with his stuff, and why would he? It had been a war of attrition (thank you Word of the Day calendar from Sheldon last Saturnalia) between the two geniuses since the "great reveal" as Howard had taken to referring to that night. On one occasion Sheldon had come to get a change of clothes, and Leonard had relabeled and changed the entire kitchen around and Sheldon changed it back.

In retaliation Sheldon added green food coloring to Leonard's lactose-free milk making the other man throw away four cartons in a week before realizing what was going on. No words exchanged, no yelling, and no confrontation.

Occasionally Penny would have to beg a reprieve from our dear Sheldon, because though she cared quite deeply for her newly acquired Dr., he was still quite the handful on the best of days. This is where Amy and what she so creatively and creepily called, "Penny and Amy's Cafe Day Extravaganza," came in.

Penny had seen Amy'd even drawn the title on a folder with little hearts and glittery stars.

It was during one such event that Amy asked one of her most creepy questions yet, and during one of Penny's final sips of her cooling cappuccino.

"So," Amy's pause was just long enough for Penny to let her guard down, "how is coitus with Sheldon?" The sip Penny had just taken just happened to get lodged somewhere in her chest area and she couldn't help wheezing like a cat coughing up a hairball.

"What?! Amy why would you ask something like that?"

"Well, isn't that what girls gab about and do when they hang out? Intercourse with their significant others? Doing each other's nails and hair? Comparing breast sizes?" That last one was said a little too hopefully for Penny's comfort.

"Where did you get those ideas?"

"Well," Amy said as she fiddled with her napkin, "My mom sends me these magazines every month that are supposed to offer advice on how to bond with other females and attract males for the purpose of coitus."

"What are the names of these magazines Ames?"

"Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Elle."

"Sweetie, those magazines are trash, really, I used to read those but that was before I grew half a brain. Not that I'm insulting your mom or you, but those magazines are about making girls feel bad and inadequate about themselves not helping them. If you need help with something in those departments let me know and I'll help you, ok? And maybe I won't be talking about how "coitus" is with Sheldon but that's because I don't want to talk about something that personal without knowing how Sheldon feels about me discussing him with another person. Understand?"

Amy just nodded and a blush blossomed on her face at her unintentional faux pas. She just couldn't do anything right when it came to Penny.

Penny could practically feel the embarrassment rolling off of Amy in waves as the mousy girl slouched in her seat further, face red like a flame. Penny decided a change in topics was in order.

"How much do you know of Philosophy, Ames?" This shocked Amy, and Penny could tell because Amy was just about as stone-faced as Sheldon most of the time, and it worked because the blush was slowly going away.

"Well, I don't know as much as some on the topic but definitely more than others. While working with the brain the way I do doesn't require me to know about the subconscious and conscious functions as much as the biological being the curious person that I am I studied it on my down time. Why?"

"Well, I was in my World Philosophy 101 class yesterday and my teacher brought up a weird topic and I thought why not ask one of the two more intelligent people that I know." Amy couldn't help but smile widely at the compliment, knowing that Penny is talking about Sheldon being the other "intelligent" person. She's inordinately pleased by Penny paying her such attention and not in a mocking or cruel way as was done when she was a child, teenager, adult, and just two weeks ago by that sable haired jezebel at the bookstore.

AN-2

Ok, first off, I have nothing against those magazines personally but I do not like them that much and do feel like they are not healthy for young women to read so please if you're gonna go all, "Flame ON!" Don't do it over that.

Second, during Amy and Penny's interaction in this chapter I couldn't help picturing a nicer version of Robin and Patrice from How I Met Your Mother lol. I didn't even notice until my 3 read through but it totally does mirror it.

Third! I'm thinking of writing a Loki/Jane fanfiction but I don't know whether to go cute, dark, super extra dark, or cute and dark. Suggestions!